Teenage Dream
Teenage Dream
Chapter Six
A Star In My Sky
Ian's POV
Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock! "Ian!" Knock knock knock. For god's sake. "Ugh, what?" Melissa was practically shouting beyond my closed door. "It's Saturday. Mom wants to take us to breakfast! Get up and let's go." I was left alone with my tired eyes begging not to open and my body pleading not to get up. Why do you have to eat breakfast so early? Wait, what time is it? My bedroom was bright with the light of day, but my body was slow-moving and weary like I had been exercising all day. It was 9:25AM when I flipped open my phone with stiff fingers. God I'm tired. Like seriously. Psh, but they're offering me food. I can never turn that down. But it's so early. Whatever. I'll just get dressed and- I had only taken a few steps out of bed when my eyes looked down to the floor, seeing my black jeans and grey shirt lying together. Staring at them brought everything back to me. "I wore that on my…I went on a date with Anthony. I'm dating Anthony. Holy shit." The events of yesterday flowed past my vision, Anthony taking me to dinner where we laughed and then to the movies where we sat together and finally the two of us went on a late-night walk in the park. It was…such a strange thing…to hold his hand. We were connected the whole time. His hand was warm in mine, a-and it was so different between us. Everything we used to be…is so different now. Such a change. And it feels so good to be treated that way. All loved and cared for. Anthony now hugs me instead of pushes me. Compliments me instead of insults me. This feels great…
I tore my eyes away from those clothes and got dressed in another pair of jeans and shirt, getting rushed by my sister once again. But after being reminded of last night I couldn't muster up any annoyance or serious dislike for Melissa. I just didn't have it in me today. My mom and sister talked in the front seat while I sat in the back playing Tetris on my phone, no calls or texts from Anthony. "Hey Ian, honey." My mom kindly spoke to me. "After we go to breakfast, your sister and I are going to have a girl trip out and I know you would be horrified to come along. So I'll drop you off at home, okay?" Breakfast then alone time with no nagging women. Nice. "Okay." Even I was surprised at how civil Melissa and I were while we were at IHOP. We didn't argue and she didn't even tease me with anything. She talked girly stuff with our mom while we ate; the syrupy pancakes keeping my attention while they babbled about makeup or whatever. A buzzing feeling in my left pocket made me jump slightly. When I checked my phone I saw it was a text from Anthony. "Haaaayyyy did u know that penguins can't fly??" Well that was more random than usual. "Um yeah. And hi by the way." It became hard to focus on my food with Anthony texting me back quickly. "Oh hhhaaaaaaaayyyyy. Or hi. LOLOL." He must have been eating soda for breakfast instead of food.
"Well somebody's in a good mood. Are u watching Animal Planet or something?" "And Lonnie said we might someday be married!" Melissa screeched happily. Oh god I did not want to be a part of that conversation. "Uh YEAH. On my neeewww TV! Bought it with my money and now it's in my room and it's a 40"! U gotta come over today and see it. My room is like 100x better with it." He was free to buy whatever he wanted. He got paid a hundred dollars a month to make websites for people while I was jobless and broke. Maybe I was a little jealous. "Oh damn! Ur room was like already super awesome but now u can blast the tv and piss ur mom off. XD" "If you two ever do get married, I better not see grandkids until you're at least twenty-five." Their conversation almost made me want to puke on my plate. "Yep! And tomorrow I'm getting a DVD player so I can watch movies and listen to music. Who needs a stereo when a DVD player can do it better?" Finally my mom and sister moved their conversation to shopping instead of gross romance. "Cool. I'm at breakfast right now but I'll be home probably by 10. I can come over then ok?" Thinking of going to see him immediately brought on more flashbacks of our date. I couldn't wait to see Anthony's charming face and be held in his strong arms.
"What are you smiling about, Ian?" Melissa's voice spoke across from me. My eyes left my phone and went to her, Melissa looking at me like I was a weirdo. I was smiling? "Um…just something funny on my phone." I didn't sound totally confident but she didn't interrogate me anymore; her conversation went back to my mom. I wonder if we'll watch a movie together. Sitting on his bed all close. "Ok. Can't wait. ^_^ See u then." I felt myself blush from imaging myself seeing him again. Anthony made me feel so bubbly and energetic in a romantic way. He used to just make me hyper and stupid. If dating him was this good now it made me wonder how great it was going to be later on. Gah! My pancakes are getting cold. Think about Anthony later; I gotta devour these cakes of pan first! The rest of the breakfast I ordered was already finished and my stomach was stuffed with the last bite of syrupy pancake. Melissa and my mom took longer to eat since they just kept talking. It was 10:14 by the time we left, my ears filled with conversations I didn't take part in but they ended when I got dropped off back home. Finally some peace and quiet. Eh? I gotta get clean. I gotta be all showered and good-smelling when I go to see him. God, showers take so long. And it takes so long to get dry. Then I gotta brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on my shoes…uuggghh I just want to be lazy today…
I was right about the shower taking a long time. My mind kept wandering off but luckily I was squeaky clean by the time the hot water turned cold. But I was wrong about taking forever to get dry. Boredom and eagerness motivated me to viciously scrub the water off with my towel and put back on my blue jeans and dark green Vans shirt, my Converse not a chore to put on and my teeth and hair not hard to brush. Complaining was one of my specialties though. And it got my butt out the door quickly so I could ride over to the Padilla's near-empty house, the only person inside being the one I wanted to see. Oh gosh…I'm getting all bashful just looking at his house. I gotta be more assertive, more in charge. I gotta man-up…to my man? Let's do this. I got my game face on as I stood on his porch and knocked on the front door, trying to push down the butterflies crawling up my stomach. He's not nervous around me so I shouldn't be nerv- the door opened and there was Anthony's familiar face, a warm smile on his lips and his dark eyes alight with happiness. "Come in." He said softly, his tone oh so charming. We walked side by side to his room, a new, shiny, and wide TV to the left of his desk sitting on a small wooden cabinet underneath.
"Impressive. Oh, and hi." It was time. My hands were sweaty and starting to tremble but it didn't stop me as I stood in front of him, gently grabbing his cheeks and pulling his lips to mine, taking charge. See, Ian? It's not so hard. You're not melting. I felt his arms slowly find their way around my sides and they coaxed me closer to his strong body, our lips briefly parting but meeting again with a little more force. My sweaty hands felt his cheeks quickly heat up in that sweet moment. My eyes were heavy and I realized I had been holding my breath for those few seconds so by the time we were looking at each other, he looked calm while it seemed like I ran a marathon. Anthony chuckled at my panting and I giddily said: "See? I'm taking charge! Being the macho guy." He nodded and smirked. "I'm glad to see it." He pulled me in for a gentle hug, his heavy Axe cologne overtaking my sense of smell in a good way. It was a great feeling to have our arms wrapped around each other's sides for a few sweet moments, showing how much we cared for one another. It was heartwarming to see how Anthony really felt about me. How the hell did we not get together sooner?
We ended the hug and gazed at his TV, marveling at it like it was a prized trophy or something. "I have Cox cable for now but tomorrow I'm gonna go buy a bunch of movies so we can watch them in my room." Anthony gave me the sweetest smile and said even more sweetly: "So I can spend hours with only you. Close on my bed at night. Whether we're laughing, crying, screaming, shouting, or "awing", I'll be so happy cuz I'm with you." And the melting feeling was back. All I got out was: "…Aww." breathlessly, captivated in his eyes and taken aback by the way he smuggled down a huge grin by biting his lip coolly. Anthony was so charming and I didn't know what the hell I was but it was something he admired. We were hitting it off so quick that it made me wonder when one of us would say "I love you" first. It was too soon. Too soon. But I knew if we kept up our lovey-dovey behavior, we could be saying the L word a lot later on. Just how far could our relationship go? Wasn't the whole point of dating to someday be engaged then married? Would we really take it that far?
"I would like nothing more, man. To sit next to you at night all cozy and stuff. But for now I guess we can just watch TV. Which is just as good." Anthony's eyes lit up and a soft smile formed on his pretty face when I gently cooed: "Because I'm with you." He nodded in agreement, grabbing the remote control and hopping on his bed. I kicked off my shoes and joined him, our backs against the wall. He got a lot more channels than a TV without cable but he scrolled right up to Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, wondering if we should watch Spongebob or Courage the Cowardly Dog.
He glanced at me for my vote. "Abba ba! Baabba! Ba ba baaa booo baa obba ba!" He immediately laughed from my Courage impression, the dog sounding like that when he would try to explain a problem to Mariam and Eustace, always getting called "A dumb dog" by his meaner master. Anthony didn't even have to ask what the hell I just said and turned to the weird show with the purple dog that always got into lots of trouble for no good reason. The show was already going for ten minutes so we were kind of lost on the storyline but we laughed our asses off anyway when some cat smashed Courage with a huge mallet, crushing him into the ground where he went flat. And we both shouted Eustace's classic: "Stupid dog! You make me look bad!" when he yelled at Courage. Were we a little too old to be watching a kid's cartoon? Maybe. But our maturity level at sixteen was around a twelve year-olds. Maybe it was my possible ADHD and his ADD that kept us from growing up or maybe it was just us being dumb guys. But cartoons would always be the shit.
Even though we were watching a kid's cartoon, our time together still felt romantic. Anthony was sitting on my right, our shoulders touching and both our legs stretched out with our ankles on the edge of the bed. We used to sit together all the time watching TV. But never that close. And it was not to spend time together as a couple. But this time it was. And it was more intense and awesome than ever. His new TV was impressive, but not nearly as impressive as spending time the new Anthony I was getting to know. My attention slowly drifted from the show to Anthony chuckling next to me, his soft brown eyes alight and his pearly white teeth flashing every few moments when something funny happened in the show. I would hear a crashing sound or a scream and Anthony's face would light up, easily entertained by a purple dog getting the shit kicked out of him. I felt lucky I found him first. I didn't have to waste all my time like Anthony did with his past five girlfriends. He had experience in the dating department but it was obvious to see that none of those girls were for him when I compared his new relationship with me. Maybe other guys liked spending time with girly girlfriends but it was easy to figure out that Anthony wasn't one of those guys. If he wanted to be in a relationship, his lover would have to be just as compulsive and hyper and immature as he was. Anything else would just be boring. So I guess that was what he admired about me. Our personalities fit together like puzzle pieces, and when the two of us hung out, we always had a fun time, even if we said we were completely bored. Because at least we were with each other, and with our crazy minds, we could make something out of nothing. That's how well we fit.
"God, do you space out often?" I heard him suddenly ask in my right ear. That caught my attention and Anthony was smiling at me, amused by the confused look on my face. "…What?" His pearly white teeth flashed again when he grinned and chuckled. "I asked if you want-" He groaned when his cell phone rang on the desk, interrupting what he was going to say. He answered the call while frowning, me understanding why when he said blandly: "Hi, mom." He stared at the carpet for several moments while his mom said something to him, and it couldn't have been good when Anthony's reaction was a harsh scowl and a quick temper. "No, I'm not going to do that. Why? Because I'm wi-busy with things. Yeah I am. I got stuff to do. Just stuff. I don't have time to do that. Okay, let me rephrase that. I don't want to do that. I'm not interested. Teresa left me over a year ago, and it's not that I'm not ready to date, I just don't want to date her." No wonder why Anthony was pissed. Instead of telling his mom he was dating me, he had to lie and give excuses and listen to her bullshit. Damn I was glad my mom wasn't like her.
"I don't know if there's something wrong with her. I just don't want to give her a try. B-because I'm just not interested, mom!" He was getting exasperated at that point and sighed heavily, looking ready to throw his phone at the wall. "No, there are no other girls I'm interested in. I've had five girlfriends in the past three years and none of those relationships have worked out. God, just give me a break, mom. I don't want to get back in the dating game right now. And even if I wanted to, I would go out and find myself a girl instead of you picking one out for me. Yes, I want to stay single this summer. I don't need a girl to stop me from being bored all summer. I'm not going to be bored. Yeah, probably, and that's enough for me. More friends don't mean more happiness. I already have one friend I get along with great and just him is better than one hundred friends." I blushed furiously when he was obviously talking about me. I was his closest friend, anyone else was just school buddies who only hung with him during lunch, and now that it was summer break, I was all he had. And it was all he needed and wanted. "Well, apparently you've never had a best friend, mom. Because he's the only one I want." I was right. "Because our personalities match. I'm not going to be some social butterfly who hangs with plenty of people. If you wanted that you should have had a daughter. I'm not going to see her. Well alright then. Bye." He hung up with his tone spiteful and his constant scowl remaining.
Anthony looked to me, his rough expression softening. "My mom wants me to go on a date with some girl who's the daughter of one of her friends. She wants me to date again but there's no way in hell I'm going to go on a single date with a girl." His frown turned to a soft smile. "Because I already found someone." My face warmed and my skin tingled as I scooted off the bed and walked into his arms, looking up into his shimmering brown eyes and saying: "And she never has to find out." The smiles on our lips turned into a simple kiss, the few seconds it lasted feeling like total bliss. It made me feel great to be the one for him after all of his past failed relationships. No girl could please him; but a guy could. I did, and I had been making him happy since we were twelve. Our sexualities always kept us friends but our personalities really did fit and could easily make us fall in love. It was just our gender that got in the way. And now that it didn't matter; I felt so important and special since I could make him happy as my friend and even happier as my lover. When we took our lips for ourselves and my eyes opened, the happy look on Anthony's face making his intense argument that pissed him off seem like it never happened. Damn. I'm special.
"I was going to ask if you wanted to go stargazing in the hills tonight." Anthony went on when I gave him a puzzled look. "Yeah you know the hills outside Carmichael? It's totally dark and away from the city and it's the perfect place to go see some stars." I didn't know he liked astronomy. "Um…yeah that sounds cool. Just the two of us, right?" He scoffed at in disbelief. "Yes just the two of us. Why the hell would I want to take anyone else?" He paused and smiled at me. "If I want it to be sorta romantic." Oh, now I see. "Cool. Are we gonna take like blankets and be all snuggly under the sky?" Anthony nodded calmly at my excited tone and slowly leaned in and gently kissed my forehead, probably feeling my face flush with warmth underneath his soft lips. I looked away with a bashful grin as he told me with his silky voice. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Just me and you…out in the open and free to be together, hidden in the dark." My eyes flickered down to his hands at his sides and I slid mine into his, Anthony's fingers sending what felt like small jolts of electricity up my arms as they pressed on the back of my hands. His chocolate brown eyes were alight when I finally managed to break through my wall of bashfulness and gaze at him again. "I wouldn't have it any other way, too." Anthony grinned widely and squeezed my hands excitedly.
"Have I ever told you how perfect you are?" Oh great. The bashful wall just rose again. "I-I think a few times…but I like it when you tell me that." My eyes drifted to the left then closed quickly right when I felt our hands separate but my waist get pulled quickly to Anthony's, a huge grin on my face as he wrapped his arms around my torso tightly. He rocked me side to side and we chuckled together, my laughter smothered as my face was buried in his chest as his rang loudly in my right ear. Oh, god I think I might faint from all this love! And he says I'm perfect. You make me perfect, Anthony. I'm in love. So accidentally in love! My face was actually starting to hurt from all the grinning I was doing and my arms were, too from how tightly I was hugging him. I doubt I had ever been that happy in my life, and it excited me to think about how happy the both of us were going to be from then on. Because as long as we loved each other, nothing else in the world mattered.
Anthony and I hung out at his house for the rest of the day until the sun went down at 8:30PM or so. We grabbed two pillows and three fluffy and thick blankets we would put on the ground to lay on. Anthony packed two Cokes each for us to drink while we would look up at the small but actually massive balls of fire floating out in the universe. The city was bright as Anthony drove us but the lights dimmed remarkably fast as we traveled farther and farther away. Linkin Park played out from his stereo and we both sang to the songs we knew by heart, smuggling a laugh when we forgot a few lyrics somewhere in the hardcore songs. I hardly noticed the scenery change after twenty minutes, only seeing where we were once the car was stopped and no music played. Everything outside was black but we were definitely outside the city and in the huge hills nobody came to at night. I grabbed the drinks while Anthony grunted and groaned as he carried all three heavy blankets and two pillows up a sloped, grassy hill that had a flat surface at the top. Both of us were out of breath after the climb but Anthony looked ready to pass out when he dropped the blankets and pillows on the ground.
"Yeah, let me get that." I offered while he could barely say one word, only panting heavily as he stood waiting for me to lay down all three blankets on top of each other and set the two pillows side by side in the middle. He immediately dropped onto the right side, me unsure if he was exaggerating his exhaustion or not. Anthony reached his nearly limp left arm towards me and stuttered: "C-cock." I couldn't help but crack up and shriek with laughter, nearly shouting: "What?!" I had to stifle more laughter as he corrected himself with a groan. "Coooke." Oh, that makes sense. I got worried for a second there. I took one of the Coke cans sitting by me, opened it, then handed it to him, still snickering as he hastily drank some. His head fell back on his pillow and he set his soda off the blanket to his right, sighing like his life was just saved. I still couldn't tell if he was exaggerating his exhaustion or not. I laid down too, seeing what had to be hundreds of stars shining way up high in the night sky. "Anthony, you know any constellations?" I myself couldn't see any familiar patterns of stars. "I only know the Big Dipper and Little Dipper. But I don't see them. I don't really go stargazing much but when I do, I make up my own." Some moments of silence passed between us, trying to put connect some stars.
Some blue balls of fire were close together and some were far apart, and much to my surprise some of them could easily make a triangle. Psh, easy. "Triforce right there." Anthony turned his head to follow where my finger was pointing. "You mean that little triangle? And the one next to it?" I nodded, still pointing. "Yeah, and the one on top of it. Total Triforce. Now that's badass. I guess this constellation stuff isn't so hard. The Romans must have been really bored though to make up a bunch of animals and people." Anthony laughed when I was stating my opinion and not a joke. "The Greeks made up constellations, stupid!" He continued to laugh at me while I crossed my arms, rolling my eyes but not offended. "Romans, Greeks, Mexicans, I'm not racist." That time Anthony was the one who shouted: "What?!" then continued to laugh hysterically. I laughed at my stupidity, pleased from how easily I could make him happy. A few moments went by and we settled down, our eyes wandering around the universe before our eyes. "You know, Ian, I wonder sometimes if there is more than one universe. Uni means one but if other universes exist, then there's a possibly that there could be one parallel to ours. Maybe a bunch of different parallel universes where we live on Earth but lead different lives. I wonder what I would be doing. Would I still live here in California, and what would I be like?" The possibilities were endless.
"Maybe you would be a prostitute. Or a nerd. Or a total emo kid. Or a jock. Maybe you would be a criminal. Or a hero. It would be trippy meeting you but yet not you." I turned my head to look at Anthony and he was smiling at me with his eyebrows raised. "A prostitute. Really? A sixteen year-old whore? Really?" He chuckled when I nodded eagerly. "Yep! And I would probably be your pimp." The calm night air echoed with the laughter that burst out of us, just imaging what that would look like so hilarious. "And what about you, Ian? Who would you be?" That was easy. "In every universe I would be a superhero with a different power in each one. I would be called The Ianator. Crushing foes with my super awesomeness. My catchphrase is: "Let me dominate you!" Anthony "Hmm'd" at me. "Then how come you're not a superhero here?" What, he didn't see it? "Dude, I'm totally a superhero here. I'm Ianator the…um. Um. I-I forgot. What if we're enemies in another universe?" Anthony stared up at the sky, thinking. "…If we still had the personalities we have here, I don't know what could make us enemies. But I'm glad that we're not enemies here. You're too awesome to hate." He scooped his left arm under my shoulders and pulled me right close to him, my head in the crook of his neck with our right hands finding their way to each other, our fingers gently roving over each other's as if they were as fragile as thin glass.
"I'm glad we're not enemies, too. There's nothing about you I dislike, Anthony. You're just too perfect to disappoint me in any way." The warm night air that surrounded us wasn't nearly as warm as his soft reply. "I try to be the best person I can be when I'm around you. I don't try to make myself look like some sort of superhero boyfriend. I just make sure that whenever I'm around you now…I treat you like you're the most important person in my life. Because you are, and I make sure that I show you just how much you mean to me. Whether it be the things I say or the things I do…I want you to know how I feel about you. In whatever way possible." Oh, god. How can I match that? "And you have no idea how much I appreciate that. How much I appreciate what we have now…and how you treat me. Our feelings for each other are skyrocketing, and no matter how intensely in love I get with you…I'm always gonna show you how much I love you. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you happy, and to know what it's like to have me as your boyfriend. Okay?" Anthony's hand connected with mine, his palm against the back of my hand and his fingers between mine, making my palm tingle from just his touch.
"Okay." Only a few quiet moments went by as we looked at all the different shimmering stars in our field of sight before Anthony spoke up. "You know, whenever I would look up at the night sky for any reason, the blue stars always reminded me of your eyes. I remember just after a few days I met you when we were twelve, I went outside to put something in the mailbox and when I idly looked at the sky, the first blue star I saw made me picture your eyes. And the way the star shimmered, too. You had that same glimmer in your eyes when I told you my first joke that I can't remember. And it puzzled me how no other light blue thing made me think of you. It was only the stars, and it's still that way now. Instead of finding it strange, it made me feel like you were special in a way. And just by your eyes? It made me wonder what else about you that would amaze me and want to keep you as my friend. And that was just a few days after I met you. Since then I've found endless things about you that convince me to always keep you my number one friend. The main reason is just who you are. It's obvious that I've treasured your positive attitude, your loyalty to me, and the protective instincts you only showed a few times but always had inside of you. I treasured that the most and kept it close to my heart, and then I enjoyed all the other things about you that weren't so deep and glamorous. Ya know, your laziness, apathy towards hard work and worldly problems. You have almost the same outlook on life as I do. The: "fuck this shit, I'm gonna do what makes me happy and I don't give a damn if you don't like me." attitude. God…we've just been such close friends for so long now."
Anthony breathed out of his nose heavily, indicating that he found something humorous. "Do you think if one of us was a girl, we would have gone out with each other a long time ago?" I pictured him as a lazy tomboy wearing guy clothes and not even caring how un-girly she was. Then I imagined me dating the slender and pretty Anthony, her shiny black hair in a pony-tail and her sparkling brown eyes lighting up her smooth and beautiful face when I would kiss her lips. It was so easy to picture that but it was almost impossible to see myself as a girl. "…If you were the girl I just imagined, Anthony, with your personality but a bit more feminine, I would have made you mine a long time ago. So it was our gender that got in the way. But even if you were a girl and I dated you, I feel like it might not be as special as our relationship is. For one, we're both guys, and two…nah I think that was the only reason why. Tch, but it sure as hell doesn't matter now. I like that it's you, Anthony. My best friend who just so happens to be a guy. That makes it exciting in a way. Because it means that we love each other's personality so much that not even our gender can get in the way. Damn, Anthony. What we got is pretty amazing, huh?" His left hand that rested on my shoulder pulled me closer to his body, literally no space between us now.
"It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even though we're keeping us a secret…even if word got out and everyone we know heard about our "different" relationship and they hated us, there is nothing in this world that would make me break up with you. Everyone can know. Everyone can hate. As long as you love me, nobody else matters. My world revolves around you, and nothing can change that, okay?" Anthony's tone was so soft and serious, his words spoken gently but held such power. It was like he was putting up barriers to keep out any threat that came our way. Nothing had yet, but it meant a lot to hear him say that because I honestly believed him. "Okay." We said everything we needed to in our heart to heart talk, and with not much else to say since we wanted to keep the night warm and romantic, Anthony and I stopped talking and stared up at the sky for a while. I had no idea how much time had passed as we lay there, but it had to be enough from the way my eyes couldn't stay open and my body was getting heavy. I was falling asleep in Anthony's embrace, around the warm summer air, and under the dark sky with sparkling blue stars staying there even as they disappeared when I closed my eyes.
A Star In My Sky
Ian's POV
Knock knock knock. Knock knock knock! "Ian!" Knock knock knock. For god's sake. "Ugh, what?" Melissa was practically shouting beyond my closed door. "It's Saturday. Mom wants to take us to breakfast! Get up and let's go." I was left alone with my tired eyes begging not to open and my body pleading not to get up. Why do you have to eat breakfast so early? Wait, what time is it? My bedroom was bright with the light of day, but my body was slow-moving and weary like I had been exercising all day. It was 9:25AM when I flipped open my phone with stiff fingers. God I'm tired. Like seriously. Psh, but they're offering me food. I can never turn that down. But it's so early. Whatever. I'll just get dressed and- I had only taken a few steps out of bed when my eyes looked down to the floor, seeing my black jeans and grey shirt lying together. Staring at them brought everything back to me. "I wore that on my…I went on a date with Anthony. I'm dating Anthony. Holy shit." The events of yesterday flowed past my vision, Anthony taking me to dinner where we laughed and then to the movies where we sat together and finally the two of us went on a late-night walk in the park. It was…such a strange thing…to hold his hand. We were connected the whole time. His hand was warm in mine, a-and it was so different between us. Everything we used to be…is so different now. Such a change. And it feels so good to be treated that way. All loved and cared for. Anthony now hugs me instead of pushes me. Compliments me instead of insults me. This feels great…
I tore my eyes away from those clothes and got dressed in another pair of jeans and shirt, getting rushed by my sister once again. But after being reminded of last night I couldn't muster up any annoyance or serious dislike for Melissa. I just didn't have it in me today. My mom and sister talked in the front seat while I sat in the back playing Tetris on my phone, no calls or texts from Anthony. "Hey Ian, honey." My mom kindly spoke to me. "After we go to breakfast, your sister and I are going to have a girl trip out and I know you would be horrified to come along. So I'll drop you off at home, okay?" Breakfast then alone time with no nagging women. Nice. "Okay." Even I was surprised at how civil Melissa and I were while we were at IHOP. We didn't argue and she didn't even tease me with anything. She talked girly stuff with our mom while we ate; the syrupy pancakes keeping my attention while they babbled about makeup or whatever. A buzzing feeling in my left pocket made me jump slightly. When I checked my phone I saw it was a text from Anthony. "Haaaayyyy did u know that penguins can't fly??" Well that was more random than usual. "Um yeah. And hi by the way." It became hard to focus on my food with Anthony texting me back quickly. "Oh hhhaaaaaaaayyyyy. Or hi. LOLOL." He must have been eating soda for breakfast instead of food.
"Well somebody's in a good mood. Are u watching Animal Planet or something?" "And Lonnie said we might someday be married!" Melissa screeched happily. Oh god I did not want to be a part of that conversation. "Uh YEAH. On my neeewww TV! Bought it with my money and now it's in my room and it's a 40"! U gotta come over today and see it. My room is like 100x better with it." He was free to buy whatever he wanted. He got paid a hundred dollars a month to make websites for people while I was jobless and broke. Maybe I was a little jealous. "Oh damn! Ur room was like already super awesome but now u can blast the tv and piss ur mom off. XD" "If you two ever do get married, I better not see grandkids until you're at least twenty-five." Their conversation almost made me want to puke on my plate. "Yep! And tomorrow I'm getting a DVD player so I can watch movies and listen to music. Who needs a stereo when a DVD player can do it better?" Finally my mom and sister moved their conversation to shopping instead of gross romance. "Cool. I'm at breakfast right now but I'll be home probably by 10. I can come over then ok?" Thinking of going to see him immediately brought on more flashbacks of our date. I couldn't wait to see Anthony's charming face and be held in his strong arms.
"What are you smiling about, Ian?" Melissa's voice spoke across from me. My eyes left my phone and went to her, Melissa looking at me like I was a weirdo. I was smiling? "Um…just something funny on my phone." I didn't sound totally confident but she didn't interrogate me anymore; her conversation went back to my mom. I wonder if we'll watch a movie together. Sitting on his bed all close. "Ok. Can't wait. ^_^ See u then." I felt myself blush from imaging myself seeing him again. Anthony made me feel so bubbly and energetic in a romantic way. He used to just make me hyper and stupid. If dating him was this good now it made me wonder how great it was going to be later on. Gah! My pancakes are getting cold. Think about Anthony later; I gotta devour these cakes of pan first! The rest of the breakfast I ordered was already finished and my stomach was stuffed with the last bite of syrupy pancake. Melissa and my mom took longer to eat since they just kept talking. It was 10:14 by the time we left, my ears filled with conversations I didn't take part in but they ended when I got dropped off back home. Finally some peace and quiet. Eh? I gotta get clean. I gotta be all showered and good-smelling when I go to see him. God, showers take so long. And it takes so long to get dry. Then I gotta brush my hair, brush my teeth, put on my shoes…uuggghh I just want to be lazy today…
I was right about the shower taking a long time. My mind kept wandering off but luckily I was squeaky clean by the time the hot water turned cold. But I was wrong about taking forever to get dry. Boredom and eagerness motivated me to viciously scrub the water off with my towel and put back on my blue jeans and dark green Vans shirt, my Converse not a chore to put on and my teeth and hair not hard to brush. Complaining was one of my specialties though. And it got my butt out the door quickly so I could ride over to the Padilla's near-empty house, the only person inside being the one I wanted to see. Oh gosh…I'm getting all bashful just looking at his house. I gotta be more assertive, more in charge. I gotta man-up…to my man? Let's do this. I got my game face on as I stood on his porch and knocked on the front door, trying to push down the butterflies crawling up my stomach. He's not nervous around me so I shouldn't be nerv- the door opened and there was Anthony's familiar face, a warm smile on his lips and his dark eyes alight with happiness. "Come in." He said softly, his tone oh so charming. We walked side by side to his room, a new, shiny, and wide TV to the left of his desk sitting on a small wooden cabinet underneath.
"Impressive. Oh, and hi." It was time. My hands were sweaty and starting to tremble but it didn't stop me as I stood in front of him, gently grabbing his cheeks and pulling his lips to mine, taking charge. See, Ian? It's not so hard. You're not melting. I felt his arms slowly find their way around my sides and they coaxed me closer to his strong body, our lips briefly parting but meeting again with a little more force. My sweaty hands felt his cheeks quickly heat up in that sweet moment. My eyes were heavy and I realized I had been holding my breath for those few seconds so by the time we were looking at each other, he looked calm while it seemed like I ran a marathon. Anthony chuckled at my panting and I giddily said: "See? I'm taking charge! Being the macho guy." He nodded and smirked. "I'm glad to see it." He pulled me in for a gentle hug, his heavy Axe cologne overtaking my sense of smell in a good way. It was a great feeling to have our arms wrapped around each other's sides for a few sweet moments, showing how much we cared for one another. It was heartwarming to see how Anthony really felt about me. How the hell did we not get together sooner?
We ended the hug and gazed at his TV, marveling at it like it was a prized trophy or something. "I have Cox cable for now but tomorrow I'm gonna go buy a bunch of movies so we can watch them in my room." Anthony gave me the sweetest smile and said even more sweetly: "So I can spend hours with only you. Close on my bed at night. Whether we're laughing, crying, screaming, shouting, or "awing", I'll be so happy cuz I'm with you." And the melting feeling was back. All I got out was: "…Aww." breathlessly, captivated in his eyes and taken aback by the way he smuggled down a huge grin by biting his lip coolly. Anthony was so charming and I didn't know what the hell I was but it was something he admired. We were hitting it off so quick that it made me wonder when one of us would say "I love you" first. It was too soon. Too soon. But I knew if we kept up our lovey-dovey behavior, we could be saying the L word a lot later on. Just how far could our relationship go? Wasn't the whole point of dating to someday be engaged then married? Would we really take it that far?
"I would like nothing more, man. To sit next to you at night all cozy and stuff. But for now I guess we can just watch TV. Which is just as good." Anthony's eyes lit up and a soft smile formed on his pretty face when I gently cooed: "Because I'm with you." He nodded in agreement, grabbing the remote control and hopping on his bed. I kicked off my shoes and joined him, our backs against the wall. He got a lot more channels than a TV without cable but he scrolled right up to Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, wondering if we should watch Spongebob or Courage the Cowardly Dog.
He glanced at me for my vote. "Abba ba! Baabba! Ba ba baaa booo baa obba ba!" He immediately laughed from my Courage impression, the dog sounding like that when he would try to explain a problem to Mariam and Eustace, always getting called "A dumb dog" by his meaner master. Anthony didn't even have to ask what the hell I just said and turned to the weird show with the purple dog that always got into lots of trouble for no good reason. The show was already going for ten minutes so we were kind of lost on the storyline but we laughed our asses off anyway when some cat smashed Courage with a huge mallet, crushing him into the ground where he went flat. And we both shouted Eustace's classic: "Stupid dog! You make me look bad!" when he yelled at Courage. Were we a little too old to be watching a kid's cartoon? Maybe. But our maturity level at sixteen was around a twelve year-olds. Maybe it was my possible ADHD and his ADD that kept us from growing up or maybe it was just us being dumb guys. But cartoons would always be the shit.
Even though we were watching a kid's cartoon, our time together still felt romantic. Anthony was sitting on my right, our shoulders touching and both our legs stretched out with our ankles on the edge of the bed. We used to sit together all the time watching TV. But never that close. And it was not to spend time together as a couple. But this time it was. And it was more intense and awesome than ever. His new TV was impressive, but not nearly as impressive as spending time the new Anthony I was getting to know. My attention slowly drifted from the show to Anthony chuckling next to me, his soft brown eyes alight and his pearly white teeth flashing every few moments when something funny happened in the show. I would hear a crashing sound or a scream and Anthony's face would light up, easily entertained by a purple dog getting the shit kicked out of him. I felt lucky I found him first. I didn't have to waste all my time like Anthony did with his past five girlfriends. He had experience in the dating department but it was obvious to see that none of those girls were for him when I compared his new relationship with me. Maybe other guys liked spending time with girly girlfriends but it was easy to figure out that Anthony wasn't one of those guys. If he wanted to be in a relationship, his lover would have to be just as compulsive and hyper and immature as he was. Anything else would just be boring. So I guess that was what he admired about me. Our personalities fit together like puzzle pieces, and when the two of us hung out, we always had a fun time, even if we said we were completely bored. Because at least we were with each other, and with our crazy minds, we could make something out of nothing. That's how well we fit.
"God, do you space out often?" I heard him suddenly ask in my right ear. That caught my attention and Anthony was smiling at me, amused by the confused look on my face. "…What?" His pearly white teeth flashed again when he grinned and chuckled. "I asked if you want-" He groaned when his cell phone rang on the desk, interrupting what he was going to say. He answered the call while frowning, me understanding why when he said blandly: "Hi, mom." He stared at the carpet for several moments while his mom said something to him, and it couldn't have been good when Anthony's reaction was a harsh scowl and a quick temper. "No, I'm not going to do that. Why? Because I'm wi-busy with things. Yeah I am. I got stuff to do. Just stuff. I don't have time to do that. Okay, let me rephrase that. I don't want to do that. I'm not interested. Teresa left me over a year ago, and it's not that I'm not ready to date, I just don't want to date her." No wonder why Anthony was pissed. Instead of telling his mom he was dating me, he had to lie and give excuses and listen to her bullshit. Damn I was glad my mom wasn't like her.
"I don't know if there's something wrong with her. I just don't want to give her a try. B-because I'm just not interested, mom!" He was getting exasperated at that point and sighed heavily, looking ready to throw his phone at the wall. "No, there are no other girls I'm interested in. I've had five girlfriends in the past three years and none of those relationships have worked out. God, just give me a break, mom. I don't want to get back in the dating game right now. And even if I wanted to, I would go out and find myself a girl instead of you picking one out for me. Yes, I want to stay single this summer. I don't need a girl to stop me from being bored all summer. I'm not going to be bored. Yeah, probably, and that's enough for me. More friends don't mean more happiness. I already have one friend I get along with great and just him is better than one hundred friends." I blushed furiously when he was obviously talking about me. I was his closest friend, anyone else was just school buddies who only hung with him during lunch, and now that it was summer break, I was all he had. And it was all he needed and wanted. "Well, apparently you've never had a best friend, mom. Because he's the only one I want." I was right. "Because our personalities match. I'm not going to be some social butterfly who hangs with plenty of people. If you wanted that you should have had a daughter. I'm not going to see her. Well alright then. Bye." He hung up with his tone spiteful and his constant scowl remaining.
Anthony looked to me, his rough expression softening. "My mom wants me to go on a date with some girl who's the daughter of one of her friends. She wants me to date again but there's no way in hell I'm going to go on a single date with a girl." His frown turned to a soft smile. "Because I already found someone." My face warmed and my skin tingled as I scooted off the bed and walked into his arms, looking up into his shimmering brown eyes and saying: "And she never has to find out." The smiles on our lips turned into a simple kiss, the few seconds it lasted feeling like total bliss. It made me feel great to be the one for him after all of his past failed relationships. No girl could please him; but a guy could. I did, and I had been making him happy since we were twelve. Our sexualities always kept us friends but our personalities really did fit and could easily make us fall in love. It was just our gender that got in the way. And now that it didn't matter; I felt so important and special since I could make him happy as my friend and even happier as my lover. When we took our lips for ourselves and my eyes opened, the happy look on Anthony's face making his intense argument that pissed him off seem like it never happened. Damn. I'm special.
"I was going to ask if you wanted to go stargazing in the hills tonight." Anthony went on when I gave him a puzzled look. "Yeah you know the hills outside Carmichael? It's totally dark and away from the city and it's the perfect place to go see some stars." I didn't know he liked astronomy. "Um…yeah that sounds cool. Just the two of us, right?" He scoffed at in disbelief. "Yes just the two of us. Why the hell would I want to take anyone else?" He paused and smiled at me. "If I want it to be sorta romantic." Oh, now I see. "Cool. Are we gonna take like blankets and be all snuggly under the sky?" Anthony nodded calmly at my excited tone and slowly leaned in and gently kissed my forehead, probably feeling my face flush with warmth underneath his soft lips. I looked away with a bashful grin as he told me with his silky voice. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Just me and you…out in the open and free to be together, hidden in the dark." My eyes flickered down to his hands at his sides and I slid mine into his, Anthony's fingers sending what felt like small jolts of electricity up my arms as they pressed on the back of my hands. His chocolate brown eyes were alight when I finally managed to break through my wall of bashfulness and gaze at him again. "I wouldn't have it any other way, too." Anthony grinned widely and squeezed my hands excitedly.
"Have I ever told you how perfect you are?" Oh great. The bashful wall just rose again. "I-I think a few times…but I like it when you tell me that." My eyes drifted to the left then closed quickly right when I felt our hands separate but my waist get pulled quickly to Anthony's, a huge grin on my face as he wrapped his arms around my torso tightly. He rocked me side to side and we chuckled together, my laughter smothered as my face was buried in his chest as his rang loudly in my right ear. Oh, god I think I might faint from all this love! And he says I'm perfect. You make me perfect, Anthony. I'm in love. So accidentally in love! My face was actually starting to hurt from all the grinning I was doing and my arms were, too from how tightly I was hugging him. I doubt I had ever been that happy in my life, and it excited me to think about how happy the both of us were going to be from then on. Because as long as we loved each other, nothing else in the world mattered.
Anthony and I hung out at his house for the rest of the day until the sun went down at 8:30PM or so. We grabbed two pillows and three fluffy and thick blankets we would put on the ground to lay on. Anthony packed two Cokes each for us to drink while we would look up at the small but actually massive balls of fire floating out in the universe. The city was bright as Anthony drove us but the lights dimmed remarkably fast as we traveled farther and farther away. Linkin Park played out from his stereo and we both sang to the songs we knew by heart, smuggling a laugh when we forgot a few lyrics somewhere in the hardcore songs. I hardly noticed the scenery change after twenty minutes, only seeing where we were once the car was stopped and no music played. Everything outside was black but we were definitely outside the city and in the huge hills nobody came to at night. I grabbed the drinks while Anthony grunted and groaned as he carried all three heavy blankets and two pillows up a sloped, grassy hill that had a flat surface at the top. Both of us were out of breath after the climb but Anthony looked ready to pass out when he dropped the blankets and pillows on the ground.
"Yeah, let me get that." I offered while he could barely say one word, only panting heavily as he stood waiting for me to lay down all three blankets on top of each other and set the two pillows side by side in the middle. He immediately dropped onto the right side, me unsure if he was exaggerating his exhaustion or not. Anthony reached his nearly limp left arm towards me and stuttered: "C-cock." I couldn't help but crack up and shriek with laughter, nearly shouting: "What?!" I had to stifle more laughter as he corrected himself with a groan. "Coooke." Oh, that makes sense. I got worried for a second there. I took one of the Coke cans sitting by me, opened it, then handed it to him, still snickering as he hastily drank some. His head fell back on his pillow and he set his soda off the blanket to his right, sighing like his life was just saved. I still couldn't tell if he was exaggerating his exhaustion or not. I laid down too, seeing what had to be hundreds of stars shining way up high in the night sky. "Anthony, you know any constellations?" I myself couldn't see any familiar patterns of stars. "I only know the Big Dipper and Little Dipper. But I don't see them. I don't really go stargazing much but when I do, I make up my own." Some moments of silence passed between us, trying to put connect some stars.
Some blue balls of fire were close together and some were far apart, and much to my surprise some of them could easily make a triangle. Psh, easy. "Triforce right there." Anthony turned his head to follow where my finger was pointing. "You mean that little triangle? And the one next to it?" I nodded, still pointing. "Yeah, and the one on top of it. Total Triforce. Now that's badass. I guess this constellation stuff isn't so hard. The Romans must have been really bored though to make up a bunch of animals and people." Anthony laughed when I was stating my opinion and not a joke. "The Greeks made up constellations, stupid!" He continued to laugh at me while I crossed my arms, rolling my eyes but not offended. "Romans, Greeks, Mexicans, I'm not racist." That time Anthony was the one who shouted: "What?!" then continued to laugh hysterically. I laughed at my stupidity, pleased from how easily I could make him happy. A few moments went by and we settled down, our eyes wandering around the universe before our eyes. "You know, Ian, I wonder sometimes if there is more than one universe. Uni means one but if other universes exist, then there's a possibly that there could be one parallel to ours. Maybe a bunch of different parallel universes where we live on Earth but lead different lives. I wonder what I would be doing. Would I still live here in California, and what would I be like?" The possibilities were endless.
"Maybe you would be a prostitute. Or a nerd. Or a total emo kid. Or a jock. Maybe you would be a criminal. Or a hero. It would be trippy meeting you but yet not you." I turned my head to look at Anthony and he was smiling at me with his eyebrows raised. "A prostitute. Really? A sixteen year-old whore? Really?" He chuckled when I nodded eagerly. "Yep! And I would probably be your pimp." The calm night air echoed with the laughter that burst out of us, just imaging what that would look like so hilarious. "And what about you, Ian? Who would you be?" That was easy. "In every universe I would be a superhero with a different power in each one. I would be called The Ianator. Crushing foes with my super awesomeness. My catchphrase is: "Let me dominate you!" Anthony "Hmm'd" at me. "Then how come you're not a superhero here?" What, he didn't see it? "Dude, I'm totally a superhero here. I'm Ianator the…um. Um. I-I forgot. What if we're enemies in another universe?" Anthony stared up at the sky, thinking. "…If we still had the personalities we have here, I don't know what could make us enemies. But I'm glad that we're not enemies here. You're too awesome to hate." He scooped his left arm under my shoulders and pulled me right close to him, my head in the crook of his neck with our right hands finding their way to each other, our fingers gently roving over each other's as if they were as fragile as thin glass.
"I'm glad we're not enemies, too. There's nothing about you I dislike, Anthony. You're just too perfect to disappoint me in any way." The warm night air that surrounded us wasn't nearly as warm as his soft reply. "I try to be the best person I can be when I'm around you. I don't try to make myself look like some sort of superhero boyfriend. I just make sure that whenever I'm around you now…I treat you like you're the most important person in my life. Because you are, and I make sure that I show you just how much you mean to me. Whether it be the things I say or the things I do…I want you to know how I feel about you. In whatever way possible." Oh, god. How can I match that? "And you have no idea how much I appreciate that. How much I appreciate what we have now…and how you treat me. Our feelings for each other are skyrocketing, and no matter how intensely in love I get with you…I'm always gonna show you how much I love you. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to make you happy, and to know what it's like to have me as your boyfriend. Okay?" Anthony's hand connected with mine, his palm against the back of my hand and his fingers between mine, making my palm tingle from just his touch.
"Okay." Only a few quiet moments went by as we looked at all the different shimmering stars in our field of sight before Anthony spoke up. "You know, whenever I would look up at the night sky for any reason, the blue stars always reminded me of your eyes. I remember just after a few days I met you when we were twelve, I went outside to put something in the mailbox and when I idly looked at the sky, the first blue star I saw made me picture your eyes. And the way the star shimmered, too. You had that same glimmer in your eyes when I told you my first joke that I can't remember. And it puzzled me how no other light blue thing made me think of you. It was only the stars, and it's still that way now. Instead of finding it strange, it made me feel like you were special in a way. And just by your eyes? It made me wonder what else about you that would amaze me and want to keep you as my friend. And that was just a few days after I met you. Since then I've found endless things about you that convince me to always keep you my number one friend. The main reason is just who you are. It's obvious that I've treasured your positive attitude, your loyalty to me, and the protective instincts you only showed a few times but always had inside of you. I treasured that the most and kept it close to my heart, and then I enjoyed all the other things about you that weren't so deep and glamorous. Ya know, your laziness, apathy towards hard work and worldly problems. You have almost the same outlook on life as I do. The: "fuck this shit, I'm gonna do what makes me happy and I don't give a damn if you don't like me." attitude. God…we've just been such close friends for so long now."
Anthony breathed out of his nose heavily, indicating that he found something humorous. "Do you think if one of us was a girl, we would have gone out with each other a long time ago?" I pictured him as a lazy tomboy wearing guy clothes and not even caring how un-girly she was. Then I imagined me dating the slender and pretty Anthony, her shiny black hair in a pony-tail and her sparkling brown eyes lighting up her smooth and beautiful face when I would kiss her lips. It was so easy to picture that but it was almost impossible to see myself as a girl. "…If you were the girl I just imagined, Anthony, with your personality but a bit more feminine, I would have made you mine a long time ago. So it was our gender that got in the way. But even if you were a girl and I dated you, I feel like it might not be as special as our relationship is. For one, we're both guys, and two…nah I think that was the only reason why. Tch, but it sure as hell doesn't matter now. I like that it's you, Anthony. My best friend who just so happens to be a guy. That makes it exciting in a way. Because it means that we love each other's personality so much that not even our gender can get in the way. Damn, Anthony. What we got is pretty amazing, huh?" His left hand that rested on my shoulder pulled me closer to his body, literally no space between us now.
"It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even though we're keeping us a secret…even if word got out and everyone we know heard about our "different" relationship and they hated us, there is nothing in this world that would make me break up with you. Everyone can know. Everyone can hate. As long as you love me, nobody else matters. My world revolves around you, and nothing can change that, okay?" Anthony's tone was so soft and serious, his words spoken gently but held such power. It was like he was putting up barriers to keep out any threat that came our way. Nothing had yet, but it meant a lot to hear him say that because I honestly believed him. "Okay." We said everything we needed to in our heart to heart talk, and with not much else to say since we wanted to keep the night warm and romantic, Anthony and I stopped talking and stared up at the sky for a while. I had no idea how much time had passed as we lay there, but it had to be enough from the way my eyes couldn't stay open and my body was getting heavy. I was falling asleep in Anthony's embrace, around the warm summer air, and under the dark sky with sparkling blue stars staying there even as they disappeared when I closed my eyes.