Remembering My Childhood Crush

Kira’s POV
You know what’s sad about love? It's when you think there's just no hope for you being together yet you still pray to make it work.
It's when your mind says 'let go' but your heart says 'hold on.'
It's when you dream of that person almost every night only to wake up in the morning with tears in your eyes.
And most of all, it's when no matter how hard you try to forget that person, you just can't because you love that person so much and you just don't know what you would do without them, even if they are just in your mind.

Yeah, I knew it all too well. I regret the way I acted towards him everyday. I didn’t mean to get angry at him but it pissed me off so much that he could just push me away like he, all for some woman. “She’s nice,” he said, “you’ll love her,” he claimed.

There was no way in hell I would like her let alone love her, why? Because she was with the one guy I had tried my whole to be with, that’s why.

But as people try to move on our lives change and at some point it all comes crashing back.

I could have stayed in Washington working for the Capitals for the rest of my life but when the opportunity to work with Mike Kadar and the Pittsburgh Penguins had arisen I couldn’t say no.

One because the Penguins were an awesome team whether or not that was because of a subconscious reason, I may never know.
And two because Alex had been trying to get me to talk to Evgeni for about 5 years now. Every time they played us or we played them he would quiet literally drag me to meet him but I had Mike Green on my side who always got me out of it. But somehow Alex had convinced me that it was time I faced my childhood demons and had some fun for awhile.

I remember the night like it was yesterday that everything in my life changed, I still haven’t figured out whether it was for better or worse.

“Kira come on,” Evgeni stood in the door to my bedroom.
“But I want to color,” I protested.
“No color later, climb trees now,” He stood pointing outside.

He stood proudly with the medal we had won from our hockey tournament the night before, he hadn’t taken it off whereas mine sat proudly above my bed.

We begged our mothers to let us go play even though it was freezing cold out, they rugged us up from head to toe and sent us on our way.

“One day we own land like this,” he waved his arm across the field. “One day we not have to worry about what our parents say and we can eat all the candy we want.”
“Zhenya that is silly. You eat too much candy, you get sick and not play hockey.”
“You can look after me,” he smiled that big cheeky grin. “Will you look after me?”
“Of course I will, that’s what best friends do,” I kissed him on the cheek and he blushed.

I giggled at him as his hands went to cover his now bright pink cheeks.
“Come on Zhenya its getting dark. Don’t eat all the candy otherwise our mamas will know we are sneaking food if we don’t eat dinner,” I climbed down from our tree house.

He jumped down and we raced each other back through the green fields that ironically were right next to the smelter our fathers worked at.

“I win!” he bragged from the top stair of my house.
“No you cheated, you pushed me over,” I looked down at my ripped jeans revealing my scrapped knee.

The front door opened and Mr Malkin appeared, “Come on you two, you need to have baths and then get ready for dinner. Evgeni lets go,” he walked down the stairs.
“Where’s mama?” Evgeni questioned following down the steps.
“She is helping Mrs Petrov with dinner; we will come back once you have had a bath.” Evgeni turned around looking sorry.

He could be a real bully sometimes, but it was moments like that which made my heart swell up and almost always left me in tears.

Evgeni’s POV
When I received her email about coming to Pittsburgh to work with the Penguins I spent a good 20 minutes staring at her name in the address box. Kira Petrov, her name still gave me butterflies.

If there was one person I cared about more than my mother it would be her. She was everything to me growing up and when she left I soon realized she would always be everything to me.

I think that was what made me do what I did, push her away. I thought if I spent my whole life drowning in her I would never function as a normal human being.

She was half the reason I wanted to play in the NHL, in hope that maybe one day I would be walking down the street somewhere in America and she would be there walking the other way smiling that smile that I loved so much.

I saw her skinned knee an instantly felt sorry. I didn’t get a chance to apologize because my father was ushering me off down the path back home to clean up for dinner.

After Denis and I were clean I climbed upon my father’s shoulders and he carried me back over to the warmth of Mr and Mrs Petrov’s house.

I walked into the kitchen where I saw Kira perched on a seat with my mother fixing her knee. “Zhenya, is there something you want to say?” my mama looked at me seriously.

I approached them slowly fiddling with my jacket zipper, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I looked up at Kira but she didn’t look back. “I am sorry,” I hugged her.

We were sitting eating dinner in silence; I knew something was going on because both of our parents wouldn't look at us.
“Ivan are you going to tell them or shall I?” Mrs Petrov spoke up.
He cleared his throat and put down his cutlery, “Kira, we have all been talking and your mother and I have decided that we will be leaving to go to America.”

I looked up wide eyed at Mr Petrov, he couldn’t take away my best friend.
“Why?” Kira questioned from the seat next to me.
I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed it really tightly.

“Sweetie, your father has been offered a job there,” my mother spoke up.
“So?” I could see she was trying to push it off like it wouldn't happen.
“So, we have more money, a bigger house, a backyard for you to play in,” Mrs Petrov said.
“I Don’t need backyard if I don’t have friends,” she argued.
“You will make plenty of new friends, learn English faster too. It’s an opportunity of a life time,” Mr Petrov was trying to make it sound like a good idea.
“I DON'T NEED MONEY, OR BIGGER HOUSE WITH A BACKYARD. I DON'T WANT TO LEARN ENGLISH AND I DON'T NEED NEW FRIENDS!” Kira yelled with tears streaming down her face.

She tore away from my grasp and ran off to her bedroom where I followed quickly behind her.

She was lying on her bed smothering her face with her pillow, “Kira?” I approached quietly. She sat up sniffling back tears, “Don’t worry, we will always be best friends,” I hugged her.

I think we were about 10 years old when that happened and we did stay best friends, at least for a few more years. She would come and visit for the summer right up until we turned 18 and I began playing hockey in the KHL.

I began dating Oksana, I loved having the attention and she was a woman not a girl, what guy didn’t want that? I only wanted that because Kira didn’t pay attention to me and after that she never talked to me again.

Although Alex spent a lot of time telling me on the phone the other day that she loved me all along and I was the reason she was coming to Pittsburgh.

With that I had some hope that maybe I could fix everything and she could see how much she really meant to me.