Sequel: Finding Forgiveness

Remembering My Childhood Crush

We Always Seek Comfort In What We Know



Kira’s POV
The next morning I woke to Alex shaking me and shoving my phone in my face, “What?” I grumbled.
“Max Talbot,” he pressed answer and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello,” I took the phone and buried my face in the pillow.
“Where are you? Why aren’t you with G?”
“Don’t talk about it,” I rolled over and pulled myself out of bed.
“What is going on? He is walking around like some useless blob of nothing.”
“Because that is exactly what he is…” I couldn’t deal with thinking about him right now.

“Where are you and why aren’t you at the rink already? Sid needs you to tape his ankle, you know how he is with all that stuff.”
“Shit, Alex can you find me a towel…”
“Alex? You’re with Alex? What the fuck Kira?”
“Max just shut up, give me 15 minutes and I will be there.”

I hung up and started rushing around the room trying to find my warm-ups before jumping in the shower.

Evgeni’s POV
“Alex? You’re with Alex? What the fuck Kira?” Max started going off into the phone.

I should have known that’s where she would have been. Why wouldn’t she go back to him for comfort? You stick with what you know, right?

I couldn’t bring myself to tell them what I had done I already knew I was a dick head for doing it, I didn’t need all their judging eyes and words being thrown at me.

My stomach tightened and I felt like I wanted to be sick with guilt when I saw her.
“Chris I am sorry, just everything has been crazy right now and I slept in,” she began apologizing as she pulled her hair up into a pony tail.
“It’s ok, just don’t do it again,” he reminded her.

She looked at me briefly. Her eyes filled with sadness and betrayal before she walked away into the medical room.

I wanted to follow her and apologize over and over for my stupidity. I would have gotten down on hands and knees in front of all the guys begging for her forgiveness but I didn’t. I couldn’t make myself get up and move.

Kira’s POV
I kept a watchful eye on him all morning throughout the skate. No matter what he did to me I couldn’t help but care about him. I wanted to know if he was getting enough sleep, if he was eating properly, just anything that could end up being a cause for concern I wanted to know about.

He looked dead, his hair stuck up every which way, he frowned, walked slumped over and kept his head down. I think he made eye contact with me once and that was it.

“What happened yesterday?” Max asked squishing next to me where I had been laying on the medical table staring at the roof for the last half an hour.
“I told you on the phone I don’t want to talk about?” I folded my arms because I simply couldn’t be bothered trying to get away from them anymore.
“Well I don’t care, something is up and something is going between you…”
“He cheated on me ok?” I was about to flip out in anger, “I was out with Alex last night and we went home to talk to Evgeni about something and he was in bed with some red haired bitch.”
“Red hair… Emily?!” he sat up.
“What? Who?” I frowned.
“Emily they dated a while back,” he laid back down next to me as Sid entered the room.
“What about Emily?” the captain sat up on the other table.
“Geno slept with her last night,” I could feel a tear escape my eye at the thought of him with someone else.

“Are you ok?” Sid looked at me with genuinely sorry eyes, “I told you guys to watch him,” his eyes narrowed at Max.
“I went home just after you did,” Max defended himself.

I continued to lay next to Max as Sid and him argued over the top of me, “he was drunk it wasn’t my fault!” Max sat up clearly growing more and more agitated at Sid.
“Hey, it’s no one’s fault but his own. He is a grown man and if he can’t control himself while he is drunk then he shouldn’t be drinking,” they both shut up in an instant as my voice rose.

I got up not being able to deal with them anymore when I was bailed up my Vero out in the hallway.
“Hey is everything ok? Geno just started yelling and throwing stuff around before disappearing outside.”
“Vero maybe you’re just who I need to talk to.”

We opted to grab some coffee and lunch at a café to get away from all the guys and the commotion. Personally I was just grateful that the HBO crew hadn’t been around this morning.

“Can you just tell me what is going on with you and Geno? He looks like a mess and with you it’s like walking on eggshells,” she started as we sat down.
“Do you know Emily?”
“Emily Roberts?” she smiled at the name.
“I don’t know her last name, apparently her and Geno dated a while ago.”
“Yeah Emily Roberts, they broke up last season, she was such a sweet girl. Why?”
“I found him in bed with her last night,” I began tracing the top of my coffee mug with my finger in an absent stare.
“Oh my Kira, are you ok?”
“I don’t know, I can’t really tell if it has all sunken in yet or my mind is still trying to deny that it ever happened.”

I could feel her eyes staring at me as I continued to circle the top of my mug with my finger. I watched as it went around and around, kind of like how my mind felt. Going around and around on my decisions.

“Why did they break up?” my eyes flicked up to her briefly before staring at my finger again.
“Because Geno was going back to Russia, he wasn’t ready to take her home but didn’t think they would last the summer long distance.”
“So he just ended it with her, that’s a dumb reason… were they happy together?” my eyes caught hers but I couldn’t look away. If she lied to me her eyes would tell me everything.
“I hadn’t seen him that happy in a long time… but honestly when you came he was the happiest I had ever seen him, ever,” she assured me grabbing my hand and finally stopping me from tracing the cup.

“What do I do?” I sighed sinking into my chair.
“I don’t know, it really depends on whether you are willing to forgive him or not.”
“I don’t know if I can, I want to but maybe I just need some time.”

“Geno told me about Alex, what about him?”
“I don’t know, we were just having sex and until I left I didn’t think it was anything else. I thought I could just get over him but I can’t help but want to be with him,” I put my head in my hands.
“Do you love him?” she put a soft hand on my arm.
“I don’t think I love him, it’s more physical between us. Maybe I am just feeling home sick and want that comfort.”

That’s what Alex was, he was my comfort. Being with him, feeling his touch, he was my comfort, he was apart of what home was. He made me feel safe.

Alex’s POV
When I got back to my hotel room I wasn’t exactly sure as to whether Kira would be back or if she had found somewhere to stay but when I saw her sitting in bed in nothing but a pair of panties and a singlet I knew she was hurting badly.

“Kira? What are you doing?” I dumped my bag and headed towards the bed.
“You, I want you, I need you,” she knelt on the edge of the bed and pulled me to her.
“Kira no,” I grabbed her hands from around me, “we can’t, you need to talk to him.”
“No not right now, he made the mistake, please.”
“Kira,” my eyes rolled back in my head as her soft lips sucked on my pulse point, “You love Evgeni not me.”
“But I need to feel loved right now,” she pleaded pulling me down on top of her.

She was making it impossible to resist her. She had a way of getting me every time but she was hurting I couldn’t take advantage of her grief it was wrong.

“Alex please," she pulled my hips into hers. God did I hate her sometimes.

Evgeni’s POV
I felt like crap. I couldn’t deal with facing anyone, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye and I felt if I did they would be ashamed of me.

A couple of the guys had already found out what I did and every time they tried to talk to me I couldn’t do it. I had to just leave as my palms grew sweaty and it felt like the walls were caving in on me.

I knew it was more than likely that Veronique had been talking to her so I rang her after I had calmed down from my fit of rage at practice.

“You really stuffed up,” Vero reminded me as she walked through the front door.
“I know,” I sighed.

She didn’t have to remind me of what I did, I already felt bad enough. I was willing to do anything at this point to get her back.

“I love her but something missing,” I sucked back my beer.
“Stop drinking that,” she snatched it from me, “and tell me what is missing.”
“I don’t know, trust, closeness, childhood.”

“There’s your problem,” she sat back with a smile on her face.
“What?” I frowned.
“She is seeking comfort in what she knows.”
“Yeah?”
“Well over the past how ever many years you have become her unknown, Alex is her known to get her back you have to become her known again to get her back.”
“I can prove, she see. I remind her of when kids, I remind her of our love and what she misses, get her back.”