Sequel: Finding Forgiveness

Remembering My Childhood Crush

I Don't Deserve Him

[br]
Kira’s POV
Watching my father slowly slip away into nothing was the hardest thing I had ever faced in my life. I was no where near ready for it to happen but if I had have been there like I promised then maybe it would have been a whole lot easier.

“Kira it’s not your fault,” Evgeni grabbed me and pulled me into his chest.
“I still should have been here for him from the start,” I pushed away needing some space between us.
“You can’t do this to yourself,” he wanted to reach out and grab me but I pushed his hands away.
“I just need some air.”

Air wasn’t exactly what I needed but air was what I was getting on the way to get what I needed.

“Kira?” Alex stood at the open door rubbing his eyes looking tired.
“Why are you asleep so early?” I frowned, it being only 7pm.
“Practice was busy, how is your dad?” he let me in.
I sighed trying to find the words, “he didn’t make it through the morning,” I looked down as the tears took over.
“Kira,” he grabbed me and pulled me into his embrace.

Alex’s POV
It hurt so much seeing Kira go through this. She seemed so helpless and Evgeni was trying to be there for her but she kept pushing him away.

She had a problem with that, pushing people she was close to away from her. She did it because she didn’t want to get hurt when they decided they would leave.

So many times she had tried it with me, but I had her figured out and there was no way she could get rid of me. I had tried to explain it to Zhenya but he didn’t want listen to me, he claimed that he knew Kira. He knew how she worked, but how he was so wrong.

“Sasha I don’t know what to,” her beautiful blue eyes looked up at me as she rested her head on my chest.
“There isn’t anything you can do,” I ran my hand through her hair. It was the honest truth, he was gone now and the sooner she could come to terms with that the better her life would be.
“There has to be something,” she sat up, her hair a mess, sniffling back tears.
“No you just have to move on,” I put my hand on her back.
“What?” she looked horrified, with tear stained eyes, “You have no idea what this is like you can’t just tell me to move on,” she babbled.
“No, see that…” I stood up needing to make my point before she began pulling away from me, “that is where you are wrong. I know exactly what you are going through. Kira I lost my brother when I was 8 years old, he died in a car accident,” she began wiping the tears away and looked at me with sorry eyes.

“I never told you because I didn’t want your sympathy, I don’t want you sympathy. I don’t want anyone's,” I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to deal with talking about it but Kira needed to know she wasn’t alone.
“Sasha,” she stood up and put a soft hand on my arm, “if I had have known…”
“What? You would have treated me like everyone else does. Treating me like I am some fragile piece of expensive china or some crap,” I hadn’t meant to be getting angry and directing it at her but whenever I talked about my brothers death I couldn’t handle my emotions.
“Sasha don’t be mad,” she stepped closer and put her hand on my chest.

It was in the moment that I shut my eyes just for a moment so I could calm myself down when I felt her lips on mine.
“Kira,” I was shocked back to my senses, “No, you can’t do this. You can’t do this to Zhenya,” I grabbed her hands and pushed them away from me.

“Sasha I am sorry, I just…” she became flustered really quickly, “please don’t tell Zhenya,” she scrambled picking up her things and rushing for the door.
“Kira!" I ran after her.
“Don’t Sasha, we just. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here, I am so sorry,” she stood at the bottom of the stairs to my porch.

Evgeni’s POV
I sat silently on the couch with Kira’s mother Victoria as she flipped through the channels aimlessly on television before stopping on a channel playing reruns of J.A.G a navy show Kira would make me watch with her all the time it was on, “You know this was Ivan’s favourite show,” she left it on and just stared for awhile.

The silence in the room was killing me before it was disrupted by a loud bang of the front door being slammed shut.
“Kira,” I got up but was almost knocked over when she pushed straight passed me and headed up to the bedroom.

“Kira,” I reluctantly left Vika on her own and followed Kira.
“Can you open the door?” I pulled and pulled on the handle.
“No,” I could hear she had been crying.
“Can you at least tell me what is wrong? I know it’s not just about your father.”
“No.”
“Please Kira just open the door,” I begged running my hand down the wood of the frame.
“I can’t, I can’t keep doing this,” she cried.
“Doing what?”
She opened the door and peered around looking absolutely terrified, “Us.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Alright so I am not sure how much longer this story is going to be because I have figured out an ending to this story and it requires skipping a few years. BUT!!! I am not giving anything away.

Although I do have a question for you guys... IFFFF it ends in the next chapter or so would you prefer the few years later to be a one shot sequel or just tagged on the end as another chapter???