Even Without Words

Kellin
As I walked up the steps with the few bags I had, a middle aged man ran out to help me. He was already half bald with a ring of mostly grey hair and a goatee. So this was my new life, what a great way to start it right?
“Here, let me help you with those,” He said and picked up two of my three bags. “You must be Kellin.”
All I could do was nod, I hadn’t really spoken since the incident. Since then, I’d mostly lived inside my own head, which wasn’t the best thing most of the time. If anything I probably just freaked myself out when I didn’t have to and give myself more anxiety attacks than I should.
“I forgot you don’t talk,” He said and led me into the building. We walked up a flight of stairs and down a hallway and around a corner to a door on the left side marked 107. “Here’s your room. Sorry that your room mate isn’t here, he’s probably at breakfast right now. I’m sure he’ll be up soon though. Will you be okay up here by yourself?”
Again, I just nodded at him silently and dumped my things on the bed against the wall on the right side. I assumed it was mine since the other one had a blue comforter on it and clothes strewn across the crumpled surface. It looked like whoever lived there had tried on ten different outfits before deciding on what to wear for the day. I slipped off my drawstring bag and put it on the floor before opening one of my duffle bags. I pulled out my pillow and red blanket and put them neatly on the bed before reaching back for my drawstring bag. I grabbed my blank notebook and a couple pens and set them on top of the dresser before stuffing the rest of the bag in the crack between my bed and the wall.
I unpacked my clothes and put them in the dresser and shoved my empty duffle bags underneath my bed. As I was putting everything away I started thinking, which was usually a bad thing. Who was my roommate? What if he’s violent? What if he murders me in my sleep? And of course I was working myself up again. I was on the verge of having another anxiety attack when I heard the door open. I whipped around, almost hyperventilating to see a boy my age standing in the doorway. He was a little taller than me, meaning he was still short because I was only about five three. He was really tan and had dark, shoulder length hair. Then I noticed his eyes. They were a deep shade of brown and they were staring at me. I got really self-conscious, considering I know how unattractive I am. I’m too skinny and my hair was too long. It looked greasy most of the time and it covered my dull blue eyes. Not to mention all of my problems.
“Hi,” The boy said and smiled at me. “I’m Vic, you must be my new roommate.”
I just nodded. I couldn’t help but stare at him. He was really attractive but I already knew I didn’t have a chance. Yes, for the record I was gay and it was probably the cause of all this but I didn’t really like to think about it. He’s probably straight anyways.
“Do you have a name?” Vic asked me and went to sit on his bed, right on top of all the clothes too. I picked up my notebook off the dresser and opened it up to write on the first page. “Kellin huh? Do you talk?”
I shook my head, no. I haven’t talked to anyone but occasionally whispering to myself in probably a whole year. Before that you could hardly get me to shut up, but things were different now.
“Well, do you want me to show you around?” Vic asked me. I nodded a little and followed him out of our room. He took me back down the stairs and onto the main floor. There were lots of couches and tvs with kids sitting around and watching them. Some of them said hi to Vic but I just kind of stayed hidden.
“This is the common room,” Vic started in the room with the tvs. “Back here is the games room and the kitchen.” We walked back a little to the games part. There was a pool table and another big round table with a lot of chairs. There was also a cabinet full of what looked like board games and stuff. Through a door on the left was the kitchen. It wasn’t big but there were snacks and stuff and drinks.
“Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the campus,” Vic said and opened the door on the back wall for me. I stepped out first and waited for Vic. “So this is the backyard, sometimes we string up the volley ball net but mostly we just play soccer. I love soccer.”
I laughed a little, being one of the only noises I ever make… Ever. Vic grinned at me and we walked around the building to the walkway again. He took me to the biggest building on the campus.
“This one is the main school,” Vic told me. “You’re lucky you came on a Saturday so we don’t have classes today. Mostly everything is here including the auditorium but most of our assemblies are usually held in the cafeteria.”
He showed me where the girls dorms were, the cafeteria and the church. The gym was also a separate building and lastly was the walkway to the beach.
“I usually like coming out here at night, being so close to the ocean is nice because it’s so calming,” Vic said as we sat in the sand. I was surprised that it wasn’t so hot in San Diego… I thought it would’ve been but it was just, nice I guess. “Why are you here anyways?”
My mom died a while ago and my grandmother couldn’t take care of me. My dad wasn’t ever really around and we don’t know where he is so she sent me here. I wrote in my notebook. I took it literally everywhere or else I couldn’t ever communicate to anyone.
“I’m so sorry,” He said, looking genuinely concerned. “That’s horrible.”
I scribbled a thank you in my notebook and tried not to cry.
“Do you mind if I ask you one more question?” Vic asked. I wrote that it was okay and showed it to him. “Can you talk at all?”
I kind of just shrugged and nodded in an ‘I guess so’ kind of way. Vic just looked back out at the water before looking back at me.
“We should probably be getting back,” He told me and helped me up with a small smile. Of course I don’t have a chance with Vic, he’d never like a freak like me.