Even Without Words

Vic

I didn’t want to leave Kellin on his own, but at least he had Gabe and Jesse. I knew he got along with them, and that Gabe would look out for him. I walked around the corner and down the hall to my first period Spanish with Mike, Tony and Jaime. Of course the Mexicans all had Spanish together.
“Hey bro,” Mike said, drumming his hands on his desk while I sat behind him. “How was leaving the love of your life?”
“Shut up or I’ll pummel you,” I threatened jokingly. Jaime laughed from beside me.
“I swear, the only two who don’t see it are you two,” Jaime told me.
“You’re all crazy,” I said and leaned back in my chair. “I’m not that obvious and I don’t even like him that much.”
“Stop lying to yourself Vicky,” Mike told me. “You can’t keep being hung up on what happened before with-.” Jaime cut Mike off. My brother doesn’t really have a filter.
“Do you honestly think Kellin’s the same?” Jaime said. “Look at the kid, he couldn’t hurt a fly. He could barely even swallow one since he almost never opens his mouth.”
“Can we just drop this please?” I insisted. I didn’t do any work that period. I just doodled and thought about Kellin. Last night I thought I’d heard him whisper something but I decided it was crazy. He never talks. Not even in his sleep. But I was hung up on every time he laughed just because I got a taste of what he might sound like if he were to talk.
I spent the rest of my day in a daze, doodling lyrics in the margins of my notebook and trying to find the exact color of Kellin’s eyes. They were really blue, but there was still something different about them. They were also green and gold and grey and just gorgeous. The things that this boy does to me is crazy. Maybe Jaime and Mike are right and I should let go of my ex-boyfriend… He was a jerk but I couldn’t help but care about him. It’s okay to care about someone right? Besides, it’s not like I still love the son of a bitch. To be honest, ever since Kellin got here this is the first time I’ve thought about him. I was sitting in biology next to Tony and I felt him elbow me.
“Dude, stop drooling,” Tony whispered with a giggle. “You’ll get to see him in twenty minutes.”
“I know,” I said and put my head on the lab table. “I’ve just been thinking about Eric.”
“Come on Vic, you need to let it go,” Tony told me. “Think of it this way, would you rather have Eric, who was a total ass and used you for sex. Or would you rather have Kellin who is the definition of being nice and who would never hurt you like Eric did.”
“Of course I would pick Kellin,” I said like it wasn’t even a thought. “10 times out of 10.”
“Then you have your answer,” Tony said with a satisfied look on his face. I knew he was right. I just had to be very, very careful about how I go about this. What if he’s not even into guys? What if he just ends up ignoring me? WHAT IF HE LEAVES FOREVER?! Okay, now I knew for sure I was getting too dramatic and maybe a little bit crazy.
Twenty minutes later, I saw Kellin walk into our writer’s craft class and he sat beside me.
“Hey man, how was the first day so far?” I asked and mentally slapped myself. Way to be Vic, way to be.
It’s been kinda boring actually. He wrote.
“Then why is there paint in your hair?” I chuckled a little as he tried to find it and get it out. “Here, let me help.”
I gently picked up the piece that had blue paint on it and gently scraped it out with my nails. Kellin’s hair was so soft, I just wanted to play with it all afternoon. But I knew that would not win me any points so I didn’t keep my hands there longer than I had to so he wouldn’t suspect anything.
Thanks Vic. Kellin smiled at me. I just smiled back.
“Anytime Kells,” I replied and saw him blush a little before I realised I’d called him Kells… He wasn’t telling me not to so I decided that I could get away with that. Good friends had nicknames for each other right? Besides, so did couples so this could be like… step one… of probably twenty or so.
We didn’t do much that day, other than pick our story topics. Oh creative writing class, how I love you because we don’t really have to do any legitimate work. I picked a horror story about the apocalypse while Kellin picked a twisted love story. Of course he did, the twisted part was something I wouldn’t have expected but the love story part I did. He seemed pretty damn flamboyant to me.
What is your’s going to be about? Kellin poked my elbow with his pen.
“The zombie apocalypse and how two people survive but the humans die out anyways,” I told him quietly.
That’s kind of depressing. He wrote back.
“Not really,” I replied. “Their relationship is going to be pretty kick ass until they die.”
What? No repopulating the earth? I laughed when Kellin winked at me jokingly. I wished it were real.
“Well that doesn’t really work when it’s two guys now does it?” I was still laughing at Kellin’s face but in the back of my mind I was worried he would think I’m crazy for writing that.
That’s really cute. Kellin admitted with a small, shy smile.
“I’m going to be honest,” I started. “I didn’t think you would be into guys.” Kellin actually laughed a little.
Please, anyone with hair this fabulous can’t get women. Their hair is far inferior to it. It makes them angry. Kellin was still laughing when he pushed the notepad towards me. Maybe there’s hope yet.