Give Me Love

All his life Alex had loved spreading joy; he loved to see the smiles on their faces when something he had done had made them happy.

The thing was that he never received the gratitude he deserved for bringing all of this happiness to people. It would usually be given to the person Alex had wished it upon, the thanks for making the other person happy even though if it wasn’t because of him they wouldn’t be with each other.

Alex was what people like to call a ‘match-maker’, he helped others find love.

Finding the perfect match for a person made him feel amazing; he loved seeing the smiles on their faces. When the perfect person was in front of them some people just didn’t see it, they needed a little extra help that Alex would usually offer.

His problem was that, as they say, love is blind.

Anyone he seemed to come into contact with they ignored him, they acted as if he wasn’t even there. He felt invisible to most people, except one.

Jack was that one.

Even though Jack was a heavy flight risk he had always acknowledged the boy, if he would rarely see him he was growing closer to the boy with every encounter.

On a Friday evening the two would meet where they first had, the rooftop of the most amazing building in Baltimore. Jack had been sleeping there as he had nowhere else to go, the roof was relatively secluded so he received no disruptions. Sometimes he would even get a decent night’s sleep without being kicked awake or abused until he could no longer travel from place to place. Alex had been running from the only other’s that actually did acknowledge his existence, the police. For some reason he was always in trouble with them, always running from them.

That was how he and Jack met, one Friday night he was running up a stairwell in a desperate attempt to escape the police when he stumbled upon the roof (quite literally). Seeking refuge, he found the boy curled up against the wall looking lonely. The boy approached the figure that was in a ball cautiously, unbeknown as to whether to speak to him or even what to say. Deciding just to take the easy option he sat on the ledge of the roof, looking out at the glowing city underneath him he basked in the orange glow of the street lights.

It took Jack a good twenty minutes until he eventually uttered a word to the guy, ordinarily he would never be shy of confidence but he figured the streets had beaten it out of him. “What’s your story?” This caught Alex off guard as he had previously been entranced by the busy city and the drunkards roaming around it at the specific time of night. As soon as his eyes flickered down to Jack his heart sunk, he purple bruise that surrounded his eye with the matching mark on the opposite cheek. His hair looked unwashed as did his face; he was covered with some extremely ripped jeans that were accompanied with a few thin jackets that looked completely worn out.

A lot of Jack’s energy was just consumed in keeping himself alive, he couldn’t extract too much into his speech or he would be left with little to none left. Alex gave the boy a small smile as he turned his whole body toward the other dark haired man, he was just happy that he wasn’t unnoticed. Without anything else being done, he began to tell the other boy his story.

The story of how he ended up where he was, in a small apartment outside of a hug warehouse that he has inhabited since his fifteenth birthday. Of how he ended up there, his parents telling them that they refused to have a son that was gay and that he would no longer be allowed to live in their home if he continued this ‘act’. About how he was neglected by every person he had come into contact with ever since that day, he has never been loved as he knows he isn’t worthy of it.

Jack just sat quietly whilst listening to every word that was being said, absorbing the information like a sponge as he was actually quite interested.

Ordinarily he wouldn’t give a shit, if he just came into contact with a friendly stranger the most they would get was a smile or a slight head nod. He had never made a point to listen to any of the stories he had been told, usually he would just nod but maintaining little interest. Somehow this boy seemed different to him; from the instant he saw his face he knew there was something out of the ordinary about the boy. Along with the fact he was willing to tell a complete stranger his life story, the boy seemed pretty unique.

Maybe it was the caramel coloured locks or the hazel brown eyes but something about this guy made Jack pick his head up and look at the boy. He made him take notice of him, which was rare with Jack as didn’t care for human interaction.

For the rest of the night they just sat in each other’s company, soaking up the presence of one and other. Alex had coaxed a couple of sentences from Jack but nothing major, he figured that the boys could be friends, perhaps look out for each other. He even offered the dark haired boy the opportunity to stay at his dull apartment with the hopes of acceptance but his hope was cut short as he was unsurprisingly denied.

They agreed to meet up in the same spot every week at the same time; both of the boys liked each meeting. Jack would grow more comfortable around the other boy with every week that passed; they were even able to have long conversation with him only stuttering once or twice.

Alex had learned a lot about the other boy from their weekly conversations; he learned that Jack had also been neglected for his sexuality. He had become aware of his living situation, or not so living situation. Many things had been told about their lives before they ended up stuck with the lives they had.

But it seemed the more attention that Jack gave Alex; the less he was acknowledged by anyone else at all. Even the police had laid off his back as they ended up just ignoring him as everyone else did. He didn’t really care though; all he cared about was Jack.

The young boy’s feelings were increasing toward the other with every second of time they spent with each other. Whenever he just saw the lanky boy his lips turned into a smile, a smile that didn’t seem to falter throughout the time they spent with each other.

After seven nights that they had spent in the company of each other, simply talking about nothing Alex decided he would make a move. He needed to know whether Jack felt the same way toward him as he did about the other guy.

On the night Alex climbed up to the roof that had become like home to the guy, he used the metallic black fire escape as he ordinarily would. Seeing the familiar figure perched on the rough brick ledge made the smile instantly pick up, his cheeks were eventually aching from the power of the grin.

Sauntering over to the boy, he leant down onto the cold brick flashing him a smile. He noticed something out of the ordinary with Jack, though. Usually Jack would sit with his back to the city with his eyes sat over his shoulder as he watched but today Jack’s long legs were dangling over the side of the building as the harsh wind blew against him.

The hair was blowing out of his face exposing the fresh bruises that were forming, Alex’s nimble fingers lightly traced over them shocking Jack slightly as he was yet to notice the boy’s presence. Without wincing, he flashed the other boy a meek smile then turned his attention back to the scene below him. Inquisitively Alex glanced down to see the scene unfold, a man was down on one knee in front of a woman who was mirroring my grin. The scene was awfully romantic and just made my heart swell; Jack just looked down at it with sad eyes. A certain longing was present which just translated his sadness in reflection.

That was the moment; the moment Alex seized his opportunity. Without saying a word to the other boy he caught his attention by placing a gentle hand on his cheek guiding his face toward the caramel haired boy’s own. Jack threw a questioning glance to the elder but didn’t say a word nor do anything to stop what was happening. Slowly Alex closed the gap between the two boy’s faces, Jack’s eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips lightly against Alex’s.

As soon as their lips connected Alex felt a spark, it wasn’t an ordinary spark either. Whilst kissing ordinarily most people saw fireworks or something stupid like that but not Alex, not at all. The only thing he saw seeping through the darkness of his mind was a light pink heart shape that seemed to be pulsating. He saw the pink shape steadily beating but quickly becoming faster and faster as if it were his own heart whilst kissing Jack.

Both pulled away simultaneously they just looked at each other in awe; Jack licked his lips just to savour the taste of Alex. This just made Alex smirk as he knew the other boy wanted that to happen just as much as he did. For about fifteen minutes they sat just staring into each other’s eyes, not saying a word just looking at each other. Jack’s eyes flickered away from the older boy’s then down to the street where the two people were stood hugging, tears streaming down both of their faces.

Somehow the pair of them looked almost sad, this confused the pair that had been sat on the roof as they had just assumed the regular thing that usually would happen did. For some strange reason a knot twisted it’s self in Alex’s gut, an inkling feeling was squirming around at the back of his mind telling him to do something.

Following his instinct, he excused himself from Jack’s side with promise of returning then ran back down the shiny metal stairs. Remaining hidden around the side he the building, he watched the couple from the closer proximity with a certain pondering about him. He didn’t know how but for some reason he could hear everything they were muttering to each other, they were quietly discussing their separation. Alex’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion but quickly he realised what had happened. Strangely he just wanted to make everything better, to reverse what had just happened and for the people to be living happily in the company of one and other.

Walking out into the street as he knew the pair wouldn’t acknowledge him, he got closer until they noticed him. Which actually they didn’t, they remained absorbed in each other whilst Alex decided to try something. He whispered in the woman’s ear, telling her what to say to the man to win him back in some attempt. Surprisingly his advice worked, he was bewildered as to how it did but one thing was for sure and that is that it was.

Glancing back up at Jack, the amazement was present on his face too. He smiled down at the other boy in admiration as he decided to climb back up the fire escape to join the boy.

“Jack! Did you see that?” He bellowed as soon as he reached the top of the steps, when he received no answer he walked further across the room. “Alex! Alex, where the heck are you?” Jack shouted, this confused Alex as surely he was in Jack’s view as he was practically no more than a meter away from him. When he reached Jack’s side he expected the boy to hug him or give him some other form of affection but he didn’t. Seemingly he looked through the boy as to see if anyone was behind him. The disappointed look on his face was enough to bring a tear to Alex’s eye.

He knew of Jack’s life being full of disappointments so to see him with even just a hint of the feeling tore him apart inside.

Waving his hand’s in front of Jack’s face frantically Alex received no response from the boy as he seemed to just keep looking behind him for someone that wasn’t there. “A-Alex?” Jack’s voice cracked as he spoke quietly, it was no attempt to shout after the boy but just an act of yearning. A stray tear slipped down Jack’s cheek, he looked around for another figure but no one appeared leaving Jack all alone.

The boy’s back was turned as he wept silently, he cursed himself for actually crying but it was something that couldn’t be avoided when it came to thinking about the other boy abandoning him as everyone else in his life had. That was the only reason Jack didn’t make friends with anyone, the reason he kept everyone out of his life so that they couldn’t hurt him by leaving him.

For some reason Alex was no invisible to the only boy who ever took any notice of him, a stray tear even slipped down his face just at the thought of loosing Jack. The younger boy walked over to the wall where one of his jackets had been slumped then pulled it over one of his shoulders. He walked back over to the concrete wall where the stairs were situated then stepped over the brick so he could climb down. In some desperate attempt to keep Jack with him Alex shouted the boy’s name at the top of his lungs. Giving Alex some hope the boy’s head picked up then looked around only to sigh then drop back down again.

Dismissively Alex rubbed his eyes then followed Jack’s path, climbing down the stairs then walking along the dusty road to the place he lived. Kicking rocks along the pavement angrily, Alex felt completely alone right now. Formerly he would have Jack at least once a week but now he didn’t know what he was going to do, he had no one and nothing but a mattress on the floor.

Eventually he reached the door of his little home, slamming the door and entering the shit heap he called his house. Slumping down straight onto the mattress he lay with his back against the hard lumpy bedding.

Aching soon arose in the top of his shoulder blades, he shrugged off his jackets he attempted to feel what the sores were. Moving his shoulders the aching just continued his inquisitiveness got the better of him, his shirt was pulled over his head.

His finger tips danced over the skin that he could reach; he felt nothing unusual at all but after a few seconds of the pads of his fingers grazing against one section he stopped. Allowing his hand to turn into a claw, he nipped something sharp that unusually was poking out of his skin. With slight worry, he picked at the stem until he was able to get a firm grip on it then slowly pull it from under his skin.

Inspecting the object his face twisted in confusion, he was bewildered as to what was going on as this was completely out of his comfort zone. A thin white feather was placed in between his thumb and his index finger. Looking at it from every aspect he could attempt to figure out what was happening; small specks of red littered it which was evidently his blood.

An itching sensation coursed over the top of his shoulders so he let the feather float to the ground as he continued to inspect the situation that was happening behind his back. As his fingers ran over the skin he felt a transformation, from the spot the first feather had been picked from more and more feathers seemed to be emerging. The pain was excruciating as they fanned out, he lay face down on the mattress trying to mask the pain with the angry shouts that were muffled by the old springs.

Eventually the aching stopped completely; this was about an hour prior to the initial event. Standing up, he walked over to the cracked mirror residing in the corner of the room. He had picked all of the furniture up that was in the room in a nearby skip.

As he looked at his reflection he was completely astounded as to what he found, a set of small angel like wings residing on top his skin. He allowed his fingers to feel the light feathers quizzically as he was still in absolute amazement. A disbelieving smile curled its way onto his face; he shook his head in absolute shock.

His head snapped up as he ran over to the other side of the room, a small chest was there with a lock guarding it. Pulling a small gold key from his pocket, he fitted it into the lock the slowly twisted it making sure to be cautious. Hearing a sharp click the lock sprung open following the chest, Alex rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for.

The tank top was swiftly pulled over his head allowing the wing type objects to be free but still covering his chest. Returning to the mirror, he worked out the basic reflexes of the crescents just as if they were muscles. If he flexed them they seemed to confine themselves but when he relaxed them they fanned out eloquently.

Travelling back to the chest, he picked out all of the tools he decided he would need then went to work. By the time the clock struck twelve what he figured his work was, had been completed and the arrows were all lined up in a row. He had made seven exactly and he figured that the archery skill he acquired when he was in his early teens would come in useful.

Venturing out of his home, he ran back to the city he had earlier been walking from. The pavement seemed lighter as he ran along it with ease. He was carrying one of the arrows in his hand then stopped by the skip he had previously acquired all of his furniture from. Finding some string and some wood that allowed it’s self to bend into the shape he needed he created the bow he needed to accompany the arrow.

He figured that he would put his ability of invisibility to the test as he walked through a populated night club area of the place. Not one eye was batted toward him so he figure the job he had been sent to do was what he had initially thought it was.

Trailing through an underground walk way he spotted a vulnerable woman edging her way through the tune type thing, she was evidently intimidated by the figure that was advancing toward her. Alex decided that this was the best time as he set his bow and arrow, aiming them toward the man that was advancing.

Letting go of the sharp arrow it bounced off the man’s neck, no recollection was contained as his fingers simply traced over where it had hit. Smirking, the man stopped the other woman, politely striking up a conversation Alex made a brave decision to see if what he had earlier tested would work again. Whispering in the woman’s ear “Kiss him” he stepped back to watch the scene unfold. As expected she obliged to Alex’s command, pulling the man’s face toward her own with both hand then pressing her lips to his. The man returned the kiss which made Alex smile as he was the one that had created the scene.

Picking up the bow he had once used he set to work wandering the city, he made sure to share his gift with as many people as he possibly could.

During the next day, as he ordinarily would, he remained at home but on the night of the day he ventured out into the city as he had the previous night. He followed the procedure he formerly had, making sure to share as much love as he could.

Love is blind, that was his main problem.

Truly his work was cut out for him as they say ‘the right person is just in front of you, you just have to look hard enough’.

The fourth night into his ventures he walked down a small alley way was he was following two males that he knew loved each other, he noticed a body slumped against the wall. Scurrying over to it, he noticed the boy he had strived to see for the last couple of days. Crouching down in front of him, he looked over his face noticing no new bruises which brought a smile to his face. He couldn’t stop himself, he leant close to Jack’s face “I love you, Jack” He whispered into his ear then pressed a faint kiss to his cheek.

Gaining no response at all, Alex stood up once again just admiring the way the dim light hovered down onto the younger boy. Walking to the end of the alley, he turned back just to take one last glance at the boy. He watched as a few fingers were lightly traced over the spot Alex had kissed, his eyes darted around the small path just to see if anyone could even be a culprit.

Running after the pair of men, Alex left Jack completely alone.

The seventh day occurred and the boy was becoming increasingly lonely, he needed his couple of hours with Jack just to talk to him. Dismissing the fact that Jack probably wouldn’t turn up, Alex saved his last arrow just in case he did. Tiredly he crawled up the fire escape until he reached to the top, letting out a sigh of disappointment when he didn’t spot Jack.

He stepped over the concrete wall then noticed that Jack was slumped against the wall he had first discovered him at sobbing into the sleeve of his jacket. Walking back over to the wall he set himself down, sitting on the rough brick but not feeling any cold at all. Setting his arrow in his bow he aimed at his target, he was still intrigued as to whether his experiment would actually work.

Releasing the arrow he watched as it pinged from Jack’s skin that was exposed on his neck.

Nothing.

No response was made from the boy he just shivered slightly as Alex watched a wind blow past. He had no feeling of it.

To think of it, Alex hadn’t felt a thing since the beginning of this phenomenon it tore him apart inside. Just watching Jack being lonely just tipped him over the edge.

He climbed up onto the ledge then faced the city, watching as the lights went by. Watching the lives of people he never knew but made such a difference to. Watching lives that he knew he could never have any emotion they did, this just prompted him to do it.

“Give me love!” He shouted in a last attempt at someone hearing his pleas.

Opening out his arms he attempted just to feel anything, the harsh wind or anything just as long as he could feel something. But as he gained nothing the flung himself forward.

Falling was the only feeling he had, on his way down the serenity he felt was ecstatic. This was the first thing he had felt in his life; he was frightened along with happy it was a strange emotion.

The bellowing of his name startled him as he flicked his head over his shoulder, the speed of time seemed to slow as he watched Jack screech his name from the top of the building.

Upon impact everything faded, no longer feeling anything Alex was strangely happy to go this way.

Jack sprinted down the metallic staircase to find the body that had crashed against the floor; he hadn’t seen the body on the roof at all so he was bewildered as to how he jumped without him noticing at the last second, when it was impossible to stop him. Sprinting over to the body he threw himself on the ground to the side of it, praying for Alex to wake just so he could give him some response.

Picking up the top half of his body, Jack held Alex in his arms as he sobbed into the older man’s soft caramel locks. His eyebrows picked up when his hand brushed against the feathered crescents on the older boy’s back. He couldn’t say a word as to what was happening as he was too distraught as to what had happened to the man he loved. “Alex, please don’t leave me. I love you so much. I’ll come and live with you and we can be happy as long as we have each other”

Nothing happened around the scene but Jack’s eye traced the feathered art work, as his fingers went to touch them they disintegrated into a pile of ash.

Until there was nothing left of the man that Jack could preserve with no tokens of the boy.

He was shooed away from the scene by the paramedics that arrived so he climbed back up the stair well in tears.

Reaching the top he ran straight over to the spot his lover had thrown himself from, one light feather remained.

But different from the others, this one feather was blood red.