Status: hi
Kissing In Cars
10
4 PM
I wonder what my mom has been doing. Has she been searching for me? Did she finally find a man to fill the hole up in her chest? Is she okay? Could she sleep at night?
For the first time I felt homesick, Vic filled up the empty hole but it’s just not enough. We stopped over a convenience store and I head to the payphone calling home.
She answered after the first ring and I know that she’s been waiting for me to call ever since I left.
“H-hello? Who’s this? Aly? Aly is this you baby?” She asks in that voice she used to talk to me when I was little and I’d hide from her under the bed. The way she called me baby made me start crying and I wonder if my decision was wrong. Maybe under all her make-up and all her lies and maybe beneath all the alcohol my mom is still there.
The operator says I’ve only got ten seconds left. Mom kept on calling my name on the other line knowing it was I. “I love you.” I blurted out before hanging up.
I sat on the pavement shaking and crying. Vic runs over to me and folds me in his arms like I was a baby bird with a broken wing.
“It’s gonna be alright, I’m here.” Vic mumbles as he kisses my head.
I cry to him my tears staining his gray shirt. “I miss her.” I say in between sobs.
“I know. I miss my family too.” I could feel his tears hot and wet sliding off his cheeks and on to my hair.
“But I don’t want to come back.” I say.
“We won’t.” He says.
I think about all the assholes in school and how mom would never be mom again even without the boys, the make-up, the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the lies. And I think about Vic and how he’s the only thing I could call family and remember how much shit we’ve gone through together and know that my decision was right because he’s the only one I want to grow old with.
431 Days Before
Mom brought home a guy named Greg for dinner tonight and Vic was in Hawaii with his family so I decided to lock myself in my room and do what I do best in short surf the internet and spend hours blogging and reblogging my feelings away.
It was 10 PM and I was getting hungry so I decided to go downstairs. I had my earphones on and was oblivious to the world. When I reached the last step I saw my mom and Greg naked and fucking their brains off. I ran upstairs. Of course this was going to happen why else would Gregory be here. I was shocked and out-of-breath rocking myself in my room when mom came in pounding the door.
“Alyson you are going to open this Goddamn door right now!” Mom orders.
“Go away!” I yell getting a razor to cut my skin.
I was only down to four cuts when the door opened. Mom saw me my arm cut up and bleeding and she rushed to me and instead of understanding and giving me a hug she slapped me right across the face, hard.
“Suicide is for weak people. Do it again and I’ll kick you out of this house.” She says sternly.
“Maybe I’m better off out of this house.” I tell her, snot and tears falling down my face.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Fuck you.” I mutter I know she could hear me I wanted her to.
“You’re right you’re better off out there, you’ve got 10 minutes to get whatever you want.” She says.
I’ve packed my laptop, my phone, some clothes, and some books when she stormed in again.
I thought she was going to kick me out but she has thought of something worse instead of kicking me out she’s locking me in the attic giving me food three times a day, a sleeping bag, a potty for me to do my business, and 10 minutes a day to shower.
“You’re staying here till the summer is over.” She says before locking the door.
It was like being in a prison, except I have Internet but still it was worse than being kicked out.
I call Vic and he answered right away. “Hey, ‘sup?”
I started to cry his voice reminded me of home he’s my home.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“Mom…” I tell him to mess up to say anything more.
“Shh it’s okay I’ll sing you to sleep.” He says. Then he starts singing a song he made for me.
His voice sounded like a thousand angels lulling me to sleep. Before I finally snoozed of I could remember him singing the line “Darling, you’ll be okay.” And I fell asleep believing that.
I wonder what my mom has been doing. Has she been searching for me? Did she finally find a man to fill the hole up in her chest? Is she okay? Could she sleep at night?
For the first time I felt homesick, Vic filled up the empty hole but it’s just not enough. We stopped over a convenience store and I head to the payphone calling home.
She answered after the first ring and I know that she’s been waiting for me to call ever since I left.
“H-hello? Who’s this? Aly? Aly is this you baby?” She asks in that voice she used to talk to me when I was little and I’d hide from her under the bed. The way she called me baby made me start crying and I wonder if my decision was wrong. Maybe under all her make-up and all her lies and maybe beneath all the alcohol my mom is still there.
The operator says I’ve only got ten seconds left. Mom kept on calling my name on the other line knowing it was I. “I love you.” I blurted out before hanging up.
I sat on the pavement shaking and crying. Vic runs over to me and folds me in his arms like I was a baby bird with a broken wing.
“It’s gonna be alright, I’m here.” Vic mumbles as he kisses my head.
I cry to him my tears staining his gray shirt. “I miss her.” I say in between sobs.
“I know. I miss my family too.” I could feel his tears hot and wet sliding off his cheeks and on to my hair.
“But I don’t want to come back.” I say.
“We won’t.” He says.
I think about all the assholes in school and how mom would never be mom again even without the boys, the make-up, the alcohol, the cigarettes, and the lies. And I think about Vic and how he’s the only thing I could call family and remember how much shit we’ve gone through together and know that my decision was right because he’s the only one I want to grow old with.
431 Days Before
Mom brought home a guy named Greg for dinner tonight and Vic was in Hawaii with his family so I decided to lock myself in my room and do what I do best in short surf the internet and spend hours blogging and reblogging my feelings away.
It was 10 PM and I was getting hungry so I decided to go downstairs. I had my earphones on and was oblivious to the world. When I reached the last step I saw my mom and Greg naked and fucking their brains off. I ran upstairs. Of course this was going to happen why else would Gregory be here. I was shocked and out-of-breath rocking myself in my room when mom came in pounding the door.
“Alyson you are going to open this Goddamn door right now!” Mom orders.
“Go away!” I yell getting a razor to cut my skin.
I was only down to four cuts when the door opened. Mom saw me my arm cut up and bleeding and she rushed to me and instead of understanding and giving me a hug she slapped me right across the face, hard.
“Suicide is for weak people. Do it again and I’ll kick you out of this house.” She says sternly.
“Maybe I’m better off out of this house.” I tell her, snot and tears falling down my face.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Fuck you.” I mutter I know she could hear me I wanted her to.
“You’re right you’re better off out there, you’ve got 10 minutes to get whatever you want.” She says.
I’ve packed my laptop, my phone, some clothes, and some books when she stormed in again.
I thought she was going to kick me out but she has thought of something worse instead of kicking me out she’s locking me in the attic giving me food three times a day, a sleeping bag, a potty for me to do my business, and 10 minutes a day to shower.
“You’re staying here till the summer is over.” She says before locking the door.
It was like being in a prison, except I have Internet but still it was worse than being kicked out.
I call Vic and he answered right away. “Hey, ‘sup?”
I started to cry his voice reminded me of home he’s my home.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“Mom…” I tell him to mess up to say anything more.
“Shh it’s okay I’ll sing you to sleep.” He says. Then he starts singing a song he made for me.
His voice sounded like a thousand angels lulling me to sleep. Before I finally snoozed of I could remember him singing the line “Darling, you’ll be okay.” And I fell asleep believing that.
♠ ♠ ♠
hi hey yeah idk