Status: hi
Kissing In Cars
8
3 AM
We were still wearing our just got married attires, but now we were at a beach, just the two of us walking hand-in-hand and exchanging stories. We left our shoes in the car so we could walk barefoot the sand tickling our toes.
“I’ve always wanted to try skinny dipping.” Vic says.
“Well there’s nobody around.” I tell him.
“3…2…” He says.
I run taking off my dress, then my underwear. Vic follows running after me butt naked as he picked me up and threw me to the water. Thank goodness I shaved everywhere for this.
I’ve never felt so free in my entire life. The water was cold against my skin but I liked that. We swam for a good ten minutes splashing around before we got too cold.
I put my underwear back on and lay down on the sand. He gets a blanket from the car and lies next to me and we watch the stars together pointing out the constellations we know. We just lay there watching the sky as we cuddled under a big blanket until we eventually fell asleep.
500 Days Before
It was summer and of course where else to go than the beach. I wasn’t very fond of beaches back then. First I couldn’t wear anything other than a sun protector so nobody would see my arms second I just don’t like going out and swimming under the hot sun with hundreds of other people. I was with my mom and she was in her skimpy little bikini looking for someone new to attract. It was so hot but I wore a light long sleeved top and hid under an umbrella reading John Green’s Looking For Alaska for the nth time. I listened to Of Mice & Men on my iPod and left mom alone as she hunts for rich old men.
Then someone removed my umbrella. Lily Carolina stood in front of me in her striped pink bikini.
“Stop obsessing over my boyfriend.” She says hands on her hips.
“Excuse me?” I ask her.
“Stop pretending that you don’t know what I’m talking about because I see you with Vic all the time. He is not in love with you so get that out of your delusional little mind.”
“We’re best friends.”
“Oh boo hoo he only pities you cause you’re a sad pathetic little whore. Puh-lease as if Vic would like hanging out with someone like you. I actually feel bad for you; you fell for his charms. Well Vic is good with lies. Don’t feel that bad, all those hugs and kisses and God knows what else are just part of the game, but game over and you lost since you fell.” She snaps her fingers then walks away leaving me with her words that felt like acid.
I didn’t want to believe. I shouldn’t believe. But that’s how a depressed girl’s mind works. It’s all pain and anger and the only thing it does is make you feel worse. While you feel heaven above you all I feel is hell above me. I hate the word depressed. I hate it with passion and it sucks because I know that it’s what I am and I want to be better but that want is not strong enough to be a need.
I want to feel the razors on my arms but what I really need is to feel the water, like my thoughts drowning me into a bottomless pit. So I climb a cliff, the only thing on my mind was just Lily’s words and the poison they left. This was it, this was goodbye, and I jumped.
I don’t want to thrash I just want to peacefully fall asleep and die. My feet couldn’t touch the ground and I was in need of air. But isn’t this what I want, to die? Isn’t this the death I chose, there’s no painless death even overdosing is painful. I am now panicking I try to reach the surface, thrashing and trying to scream. But nobody was there. I suddenly regret everything. I have so much to live for so many things to achieve and accomplish I’m not even halfway there yet and I’m giving it all away because some bitch fed me up with her poison, which I know are lies. My chest ached I needed air. I let the air fill my lungs and then I fell into unconsciousness.
The first thing I remember was that Vic’s lips were connected to mine, but it wasn’t a kiss since he was blowing air unto my mouth. I open my eyes. Everyone was staring at me. My mom had this very disappointed look on her face. Goddamnit I drowned can’t she at least be concerned. Vic pulls me into a hug.
“Thank goodness you’re alive.” He says kissing my forehead. “Don’t ever do that again, I might not save you the next time.”
Apparently Vic saw me and came to my rescue, I told you he has saved my life literally tons of times.
He had this big smile on his face, which made me want to punch myself for thinking that everything was an act, Vic would never do that he’s such a sweetheart.
I hug him tighter. “I love you.” I tell him. I hate the fact that I’m like a clingy girlfriend who is in need of her boyfriend all the time but honestly I don’t know where I’ll be without Vic, he’s that anchor that keeps me sane.
“And I love you.” He says kissing my forehead for the second time.
We were still wearing our just got married attires, but now we were at a beach, just the two of us walking hand-in-hand and exchanging stories. We left our shoes in the car so we could walk barefoot the sand tickling our toes.
“I’ve always wanted to try skinny dipping.” Vic says.
“Well there’s nobody around.” I tell him.
“3…2…” He says.
I run taking off my dress, then my underwear. Vic follows running after me butt naked as he picked me up and threw me to the water. Thank goodness I shaved everywhere for this.
I’ve never felt so free in my entire life. The water was cold against my skin but I liked that. We swam for a good ten minutes splashing around before we got too cold.
I put my underwear back on and lay down on the sand. He gets a blanket from the car and lies next to me and we watch the stars together pointing out the constellations we know. We just lay there watching the sky as we cuddled under a big blanket until we eventually fell asleep.
500 Days Before
It was summer and of course where else to go than the beach. I wasn’t very fond of beaches back then. First I couldn’t wear anything other than a sun protector so nobody would see my arms second I just don’t like going out and swimming under the hot sun with hundreds of other people. I was with my mom and she was in her skimpy little bikini looking for someone new to attract. It was so hot but I wore a light long sleeved top and hid under an umbrella reading John Green’s Looking For Alaska for the nth time. I listened to Of Mice & Men on my iPod and left mom alone as she hunts for rich old men.
Then someone removed my umbrella. Lily Carolina stood in front of me in her striped pink bikini.
“Stop obsessing over my boyfriend.” She says hands on her hips.
“Excuse me?” I ask her.
“Stop pretending that you don’t know what I’m talking about because I see you with Vic all the time. He is not in love with you so get that out of your delusional little mind.”
“We’re best friends.”
“Oh boo hoo he only pities you cause you’re a sad pathetic little whore. Puh-lease as if Vic would like hanging out with someone like you. I actually feel bad for you; you fell for his charms. Well Vic is good with lies. Don’t feel that bad, all those hugs and kisses and God knows what else are just part of the game, but game over and you lost since you fell.” She snaps her fingers then walks away leaving me with her words that felt like acid.
I didn’t want to believe. I shouldn’t believe. But that’s how a depressed girl’s mind works. It’s all pain and anger and the only thing it does is make you feel worse. While you feel heaven above you all I feel is hell above me. I hate the word depressed. I hate it with passion and it sucks because I know that it’s what I am and I want to be better but that want is not strong enough to be a need.
I want to feel the razors on my arms but what I really need is to feel the water, like my thoughts drowning me into a bottomless pit. So I climb a cliff, the only thing on my mind was just Lily’s words and the poison they left. This was it, this was goodbye, and I jumped.
I don’t want to thrash I just want to peacefully fall asleep and die. My feet couldn’t touch the ground and I was in need of air. But isn’t this what I want, to die? Isn’t this the death I chose, there’s no painless death even overdosing is painful. I am now panicking I try to reach the surface, thrashing and trying to scream. But nobody was there. I suddenly regret everything. I have so much to live for so many things to achieve and accomplish I’m not even halfway there yet and I’m giving it all away because some bitch fed me up with her poison, which I know are lies. My chest ached I needed air. I let the air fill my lungs and then I fell into unconsciousness.
The first thing I remember was that Vic’s lips were connected to mine, but it wasn’t a kiss since he was blowing air unto my mouth. I open my eyes. Everyone was staring at me. My mom had this very disappointed look on her face. Goddamnit I drowned can’t she at least be concerned. Vic pulls me into a hug.
“Thank goodness you’re alive.” He says kissing my forehead. “Don’t ever do that again, I might not save you the next time.”
Apparently Vic saw me and came to my rescue, I told you he has saved my life literally tons of times.
He had this big smile on his face, which made me want to punch myself for thinking that everything was an act, Vic would never do that he’s such a sweetheart.
I hug him tighter. “I love you.” I tell him. I hate the fact that I’m like a clingy girlfriend who is in need of her boyfriend all the time but honestly I don’t know where I’ll be without Vic, he’s that anchor that keeps me sane.
“And I love you.” He says kissing my forehead for the second time.
♠ ♠ ♠
Happy New Year everyone!