Give Me Love

Brendon smiled, running his fingers through the long, thick brown hair before him. Brown eyes sparkled and that smile was almost too adorable to bear. He felt his own lips pull up into a drunken grin. He reached out, running his thumb over the plump lips before him.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, his voice slurring even over three small words. There was a giggle as a hand caught his and laced their fingers together. Everything was blurry and he felt like his head was spinning out of control. He felt those lips gently press against his before a voice spoke to him.

“So are you Brendon.” There was a moment of hesitation before the voice spoke again. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“But what about-” He cut off the voice with a small kiss before pulling back and smiling again. What was there to hesitate about? They both knew what was going to happen, and Brendon didn’t know why there would be any kind of opposition, they’d slept together a hundred times before. He took the hand and led it into the bedroom, pressing the lips that tasted just like her, but doused in booze. He felt his lips pull into a smile again as he ran his fingers through the thick brown hair. The hair he thought belonged to his girlfriend, Remy. But there was only one problem,

This was the wrong girl.

Brendon took another long drink from the glass before him as he sat, slumped over the bar. How could he have done it? How could he have betrayed her like that? It had been six months and she still refused to speak to him, so he did the only thing he could think of. He’d curled up in his apartment with a bottle and refused to come out except to go to the bar.

Spencer and Jon were worried sick about him, but Ryan had been distant about the whole thing. He’d gone back home to stay with Remy and claimed to be working on lyrics. They all knew he just didn’t want to see Brendon and probably trying and keep Remy from doing something stupid. Brendon sighed, pulling out a wad of money and tossing it on the counter, not caring about change as he got up and made his way out to head home.

The problem was Brendon had no idea where he was. He didn’t know which way his flat was. Then he finally remembered where he was. He was at the bar he’d first met her at. He walked over to the side of the bar and peeked into the alley, remembering them exchanging a drunken, sloppy kiss before he walked her home on their first night together. His feet started moving through the warm night and before he could stop himself he was at her door. He felt like his heart was going to explode it was beating so fast. He raised a trembling hand and brought it down onto the wood.

Memories were flooding his blurry mind as he remembered the things they’d done it this house. They’d first made love in her bedroom, he’d told her he loved her on the front steps of the porch that he’d stumbled up onto. He ran his fingers over the faded white paint, remembering when he, Remy and Ryan had painted it one summer. It had ended in a paint war and he’d had the white paint in his hair for days, no matter how many showers he took. Finally he heard small, faint footsteps before the door opened to her.

Her thick brown hair was tied into a side braid, her brown eyes looking at him in disbelief. Her small button nose was just as darling as he remembered. She was wearing one of his old sweatshirts that hung widely on her small frame. She looked completely panicked before a look of anger took over.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” She demanded, folding her arms in front of her. The only thing he could think was how lovely she was; even when he knew she probably wanted to push him in front of a train. He was so caught up in looking at her, remembering the luscious shape that hid under that bulky sweatshirt, that he hadn’t answered. Her brilliant eyes were narrowed as his gaze met hers again. He started to reach out towards her, wanting to touch her plump lips that he’d kissed until they were swollen and red a million times before.

“Remy.” He whispered. She pulled away from his hand, a look of pain flashing across her eyes before they hardened into anger once more. He sighed, looking at her. “I forgot how to get home.” He admitted, trying to hide how much he knew his voice was slurring. She scrunched up her nose at him.

“Are you drunk?”

“How else would I be able to show my face around here again?” He said quietly. Her face softened before she let out a small sigh. She walked over and put his arm around her small shoulder, leading him inside. He was a lot heavier than she’d planned for and they both ended up on the floor only three steps into the house. Remy let out a small grumble of pain as she opened her eyes to be met with Brendon’s. His eyes were locked on hers as he leaned over her. The scene was so familiar that it was making her heart shatter. She pushed him off her and stood.

“Ryan!” She yelled up the stairs as Brendon managed to get to his feet. “Can you come help me?” She walked back over to Brendon, helping him up and steadying him against her once more as footsteps hurried down the stairs. When Ryan saw who it was his face dropped, a scowl twisting his features.

“Get him out of here.” He hissed. Remy sighed, looking at the face that matched hers perfectly. When she and Brendon had started dating she had lost track of all the hate mail she’d gotten telling her that Brendon only wanted her because she was the spitting image of her twin brother. They also said that Ryan was easily the cuter of the two, but Brendon and Ryan both just wanted people to think they were straight when really they were in love with each other. Remy pressed her lips together, remembering Brendon holding her when she would cry because of all the hate. Even with everything he’d done, how badly he’d broken her, he always seemed to be there to pick her back up, and she intended to do the same.

“Ryan, look, he’s drunk. We’ll just him crash on the couch and-”

“Absolutely not.” He said, walking over to the drunken man leaning on her and grabbing him by the front of the shirt. “Get the fuck out of this house. Haven’t you hurt her enough?” Brendon’s gaze fell to the floor, unable to meet Ryan’s eyes.

“Ryan stop it.” Remy said, pushing Ryan off Brendon and standing between them. “This is my house and I say if he needs to crash on the couch he can.”

“He’s just going to hurt you again.” Ryan hissed, grabbing her shoulder and leading her away to where Brendon wouldn’t hear. “Do you remember what you were like when he told you? When he admitted he fucked that random stranger? Do you remember that you cried for a week straight and refused to eat?” Ryan’s eyes were locked with hers.

“Maybe he’s changed.” She tried.

“I’m not letting him do this again.” Ryan said, his eyes steely. “If you’re not going to take care of yourself I will.”

“Ryan.” She pleaded. “I know you’re just trying to look out for me-”

“Your damn right I am.” He said. “You might think you know him but you don’t. I’ve seen him when you’re not around; I know that he’s just an animal who has no regard for other people. Especially not his friend’s sister.”

“We both know that he and I were more than that. We dated for years, he made one mistake.”

“Yeah, and it was kind of a big mistake.” He growled. “He knew exactly what he was doing and I’m not going to stand by and let him destroy you!” With that Ryan turned, grabbing the still drunken Brendon and opening the door. He pointed to the left. “Your house is that way. Goodnight.” With that he shoved him outside and Brendon swiftly fell on his ass just as the door was slammed in his face.

There were loud footsteps inside that swiftly disappeared. Brendon just sat there, unsure of what to do. His mind was still spinning and he had no idea where to go. After a good ten minutes the door quietly opened to Remy. She motioned for him to be quiet before reaching down and helping him up. The two of them made their way past the stairs and over to the living room. She laid Brendon down on the couch and was about to leave when she felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

She looked back only to have Brendon’s lips crash to hers as he pulled her down on top of him. Her stomach felt like it was on fire as his strong hands trailed down her sides, but she quickly pulled away, remembering what he’d done. She shook her head and started to walk away when he stood, grabbing her shoulders and hugging her. That’s when she felt the tears start to sting her eyes. She tried to fight away, knowing that she couldn’t let this happen again. “Remy.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“No!” She hissed, finally breaking away and looking at the beautiful man before her. “Brendon.” She choked out, tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. “Nothing you say can ever make this alright.” He bit his lip, debating on saying the words that could shatter everything between them more than he already had. Finally he took in a deep breath.

“What if I told you I thought she was you?”

Remy’s eyes grew wide. “What?” She choked out.

“I thought that she was you. She had the same hair, same eyes, and with all the booze I thought she was you.” She slowly shook her head, laughing with no humor in her voice whatsoever.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Remy, I love you. I love you more than you’ll ever even understand. I never meant to sleep with her, I swear.” His eyes were becoming glazed with tears as he looked at her, begging her to believe him. She sighed, running her fingers through her hair before looking back at him. She’d never seen Brendon this upset and it was making her stomach knot uncomfortably.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again.” She whispered. “I died that day.”

“So did I.” He said. “Why do you think I told you? I could have hidden it, but I hated myself just as much as you did. I wanted us to be able to work this out, to get through it but…” He pressed his lips together. “Then you left.”

“What was I supposed to do?!” She demanded. “You cheated on me!”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you did.” She said, her voice shaking. “I worshiped you, I loved you more than anything else in this world and you betrayed me.”

“Remy.” He whispered, cradling her face in his hands. “I can’t live without you.” She looked at him for a long time before she finally spoke.

“I thought I couldn’t live without you either, but I can. It’s hard and I don’t want to do it, but I can.” His face fell as he let his hands fall, looking at the ground.

“I understand.” He whispered. “I think I should be going.” He quickly turned and started walking away before her voice stopped him.

“Brendon.” He turned back. “You didn’t let me finish.” He knitted his eyebrows together as she walked over to him. He saw the pain in her eyes and it made him sick. He’d never wanted to hurt her, and he would never drink again if she would just come back to him. She was like the missing puzzle piece that completed him, he needed her more than he cared to admit. He swallowed nervously as she stood before him. “I can live without you Brendon Urie.” She repeated. “But I don’t want to.”

She slowly stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his. His eyes grew wide as he kissed her back, cradling her in her arms and pulling their bodies together. Finally he broke their tender lip lock, looking into her eyes. “I love you, and I will never hurt you ever again.” She smiled sadly and she hugged him, burying her face in his chest.

“Good luck telling Ryan that.” They both chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, both of them staying like that before finally curling up on the couch together and falling asleep.