The Dead Are Living

OCTOBER’S POV:

“Hey Angelo. Good morning Chris.” I yawned and walked into the kitchen where they were sitting with cups of warm coffee in their hands. Angelo pushed one cup of coffee in my direction and I sat in the chair between them. “How goes it in hell?”

“Cold.” Chris grumbled and I laughed. He was bundled up in sweats and a coat.

“Not good October.” Angelo whispered and slid me a small envelope. It was black. I looked at him questioningly and he looked down at his hands. “Just read it.”

“Have you?” I asked.

“No.” he whispered. I pulled out a white piece of paper that looked like the little words had been burned into it.

October,

I am so unbelievably sorry about your house. When you told me about that voice in your head I lost it. I was so angry that something malevolent was haunting you. I tried to reign in my anger before something bad happened and I know I failed. I know that your stuff burning is my fault and I know that the injuries that you and Angelo sustained are my fault and I understand your anger and I want you to honestly try and believe that I didn’t intentionally do any of that.

I am going away for a while but I wanted to leave you this letter to tell you that it will not be forever though I wish you would forget about me. You are my best friend now. In the time that I have been dead you have been there with me and you have been showing me that even in death there is hope. You showed me that in a way love carries on even in death and that even though I am gone that my baby girl will never forget me. Don’t think for even one second that that mother fucking voice was right. I do want you around but I am doing this to punish myself. I have grown so used to your company and friendship that distancing us is the only way I can think of hurting myself. I don’t know where I am going when I am not next to you since that is where I have been for what feels like forever but I am going anyways.

You will never be alone. Okay? I want you to remember that. You have Angelo. You have Ronnie, your brother and you have Chris and all of them. They want you to live and they want you around. I will never be to far from you but you just wont be able to see me.

I wish I could rewind the time and stop what I had done but I cant. I wish I were really alive so I could do something. But I am not and I cant. Just another reason for you to forget me but I know you and I know you wont. So in time when I feel that I have suffered enough I will come back and I will make all of it up to you. I will make it up and find a way to replace all of your lost things. I will make up for the pain and fear I caused you and I will make up for the pain I am causing you now by not being there with you.

I know you are starting to fall for Angelo and I am so proud of you. I know he will never hurt you because he is a good guy. That voice is wrong yet again. He wont hurt you and he likes you to I think so I know he wont push you away. I hope he is enough to fill the sadness that has been plaguing you since you ended things with that piece of shit Craig.

I know that you will be an amazing photographer for them and I know that you will enjoy it. People are going to fall in love with your work and I want you to stick with it because I know that you enjoy it and it means everything to you.

Your Ghost,

Mitch Lucker

I dropped the letter and covered my mouth with my hand and felt the tears instantly start pouring down my face.

“Whats wrong?” Chris asked.

“He’s gone.” I whispered. “Mitch left.”

“Not forever.” Angelo whispered and pulled me into his arms. “As long as you have that necklace he is going to be with you.”

“But that letter was a fucking goodbye.” I cried. “He left. He is gone.” I said and stood up. “I need to go.”

“No stay here.” Angelo said quickly and grabbed my hand. Him and Chris looked extremely worried.

“I cant.” I whispered sadly and ignored the aching pain in my chest and the laughter in my head. “I’m not leave forever. I do have a job and you guys are like my bosses so I cant be gone forever.”

“But where are you gonna go?” Chris asked. “It is winter in Scranton. It is fucking cold out there and you are in pjs.”

“Im going to take pictures and I am going in this because I don’t have clothes.”

“Come with me. I have clothes that an ex of mine left here and they are small enough for you. I don’t wear them.” He got up and I fallowed him into his room. He pulled out a small box and set it on the bed. “There is a pair of skinny jeans and a couple of shirts.”

“Thank you Chris.” I whispered. He sighed and pulled me into a hug.

“You’re welcome.” he said and wiped the tears off of my cheeks. “Now get dressed so you can have your you time.” He walked out of the room and quietly shut the door. I looked at the box and smiled sadly. Inside there were a few different pairs of pants and a weird skirt thingy. There were four shirts. One had a heartagram, there was one with little Hello Kitties, one that said ‘Fuck Your Pretty Face’, and the last shirt was a Marilyn Manson shirt. I put on a pair of black skinny jeans and the heartagram shirt. I raked my fingers through my hair and glared at my reflection. I walked out and ran into Devin’s chest.