Shattered

I awoke suddenly to the sound of two babies crying. I rolled over to find that Jeff was no longer in bed with me so I quickly jumped up and made my way out to check on the babies. By the time I got there they had already started to settle down and as I walked in I noticed them cuddled up with Jeff on the couch.

“I’m sorry they woke you. I tried to get them to be quiet as fast as I could,” Jeff said sheepishly.

“Nah, it’s fine,” I replied smiling. “It’s 6 o’clock. I need to make something for supper anyway. Also, you didn’t jump out of bed and run here the second you heard them. You were obviously already out here.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, not meeting my eye. “I just came out here and watched them sleep. How dumb is that?”

“It isn’t dumb at all, babe. You love them! And you never get to see them. And they’re fucking adorable. It’s totally understandable.” I walked over and gave him a kiss. “You entertain them. What do you want for supper?”

“I don’t care. Whatever’s easiest.”

I set to work making our meal and in between managed to make two bottles of formula. Once I had everything in the oven for us I made my way back to the couch and took Lily from Jeff. Handing him a bottle for Jack, I sank into the couch next to him and started feeding Lily.

“Okay. So,” I started, trying to figure out how to tread lightly. “I’m calmed down. A lot. But Jeff, I’m obviously still worried.”

“I’d be surprised if you weren’t,” he replied with a smirk.

“I was just thinking, shouldn’t we call my parents? I mean, maybe they’ve heard from her today. And they’ve always known how to deal with Sophie a lot better than I have.”

“Are you sure that this isn’t just, an ego thing?” he asking. I must have looked confused because he continued. “Tori, Sophie’s always been the perfect one. She’s never screwed up and she has the perfect relationship and the perfect kids. I love you but I know you’ve always been the screw up in the family. Are you sure the reason you want to call your parents has nothing to do with the fact that Sophie has finally had a break down and has started to fall apart? You want them to start looking at you differently?”

“Hey,” I whispered, glancing up at him. “That isn’t very nice. I’ve been doing really well this past year.”

“And I’m so proud of you for that! You’ve been incredible. But you know what happened when your parents got involved in our situation. There was overreacting and they tried to take over before we could even think. I’m telling you – just give her some time and we’ll see what happens. Maybe all she needs is a night in a nice hotel somewhere where she can think.”

We sat quietly for a while as I stared off into space. “Look,” Jeff finally said, turning to look at me face on. “If she isn’t back by the time the twins have to nap tomorrow, you can call your parents. I’ll call Gabe then too and explain that you’re really worried and we need to figure something out.”

“Thank you,” I replied quietly.

“It’s not just for your peace of mind, babe,” he said with a small smile. “After the game tomorrow night we leave for four days. I’m not okay with leaving you here with a missing sister to take care of twins on your own. That’s irresponsible on her part and not fair to you.”

I couldn’t help but break out into a huge grin. “What?” he asked.

“I just love it when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Act all protective and grown up and shit.”

“Grown up and shit?” he replied laughing.

“Sometimes I just forget that we’re only 20,” I said with a small smile. “Hard to believe after everything we’ve been through.”

“I know, babe,” he responded. “But just think – we’re ONLY 20. We have years and years to figure
this all out.”

“God I love you,” I said quietly. “But – sometimes it bothers me how perfect you are, ya know?”

“What can I say,” he responded without cracking a smile. “I’m basically God’s gift to women
everywhere.”

“Women everywhere, huh? Watch yourself, stud. I have to go get supper out of the oven.” I pushed myself off the couch and went to put Lily back into the playpen. As I walked past the couch Jeff quickly grabbed my wrist.

“For the record, I love you too,” he said with a smile.

“Whatever, big shot,” I replied, laughing as I rolled my eyes.

We ate on the couch, watching the kids play with their toys in the playpen. By the time we had finished and cleaned up we could tell that the kids were starting to get restless. It was close to their bedtime and although they were only 6 months old, they could clearly recognize that Mommy wasn’t there to put them to bed that night.

“I don’t know how Sophie settles them down,” I finally said to Jeff after a half an hour of constant rocking.

“I know!” he responded, shaking his head. “How the hell are you supposed to put a baby to sleep? I always thought it just like, happened. You’re tired, you go to sleep! Like, come on!”

I couldn’t help but giggle at him. “Yeah. It’s that simple. That’s exactly the reason that new parents are always so exhausted,” I said in between laughing. “Maybe we can try just putting them in their playpen and leaving? God, that sounds so mean though.”

“That’s how they learn to stop crying though I think. I read that in some parenting book.”

“You read parenting books?”

“Well, I was going to be a parent. And I was scared shitless. And my mom sent them. So, yeah?”

“Oh my God,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’re adorable. Alright. Let’s try it.”

We laid them down then made our way to our room. We laid down on the bed next to each other staring up at the ceiling. “Are they still crying?” I whispered.

“I don’t know,” he whispered back. “I don’t think so.”

After about five more minutes of silence I whispered, “Do you think they’re like… okay? It’s really quiet.”

“They’re probably asleep. It’s kind of nice actually,” he replied quietly, turning his head to me.

“It is though,” I whispered, smiling. He leaned in and quickly kissed me.

“Babies are exhausting,” he responded.

“Mmhm,” I said, starting to feel my eyes close.

“But they’re fun to play with at the time.”

“Mmhm,” I said again, nodding slightly.

“You know what else is exhausting but fun at the time?”

I slightly shook my head.

“MAKING babies,” he said very seriously.

My eyes shot open and I started laughing hysterically. Pretty soon I could feel tears start falling. “Was that… some kind… of pick up line,” I got out in between breaths.

“No,” he said with a huge grin. “You just haven’t really laughed all day and I missed it.”

I crawled across the bed and climbed up on top of him. “You know what else we haven’t done all day…?” I asked quietly smiling down at him.

“Well… A lot of things probably but I think I like whatever it is you’re thinking.”

I finally started kissing him and within a few minutes it was getting pretty heated. As soon as he made a move to push it further we heard one of the babies start crying. I broke away and rested my forehead on his, keeping my eyes closed. “Fuck,” I whispered, trying to catch my breath.

“Ultimate cock block,” he said back. “Let’s go.”

“Nah, you stay here. You have a game tomorrow night. Get some rest. I’m going to move them into the farthest guest room and just sleep in there with them.”

“Oh come on,” he started to whine.

“What do you want me to do babe? You need rest and you know what babies are like. They cry all the time!”

“I’m leaving for four days after tonight, Tori.”

“Well we’ll pick up where we left off then, kay? Get some on the road if you’re that desperate. I’ve heard you’re God’s gift to women everywhere. I’m sure someone will be more than happy to relieve your stress,” I replied with a wink and a smirk.

“Ugh. Not fair.”

“I’ll see you in the morning! I’ll have breakfast ready for when you wake up.” I turned and started
walking down the hall to the babies.

“I love you!” I heard Jeff call down the hall.

“I know you do!” I called back, laughing to myself.