Shattered

“Baby?! Where are you?!” I heard Jeff call out frantically.

“I’m in here,” I called back. “In the bedroom!”

He came in carrying both car seats and saw me lying on the bed. He put them down gently and rushed over when he noticed me crying. “Oh my God! What’s wrong?!”

“No, no. It’s nothing. Well it’s something but… I don’t know,” I muttered, sobbing all over again.

“Okay, I love you but you’re gonna need to use your words. I can’t fix it if you don’t use your words,” he said patiently.

“Jeff, I’m pregnant,” I whispered, avoiding meeting his eyes.

“Oh,” he said quietly, staring at me wide-eyed. “Oh my God. OH MY GOD TORI!”

I could tell he was starting to get excited so I finally met his eyes and grabbed his hand. “Don’t. I’m sorry but Jeff, this is not a good time. We already have two babies right now and Sophie’s gone and this is bad!”

“Tori stop that! You’re pregnant! This is good! We’ve been wanting this!”

“I know, babe but there’s a lot going on right now! Why’d it have to happen right now?!”

“Come on. Last time was a bad time. We’ve got everything sorted out since then. We’re stable and we love each other and we live with each other. It’s the perfect time to have a baby!”

“Do you not see those two infants sitting right there in their car seats? The children of my MISSING SISTER?! This is anything but a good time Jeff!”

He stood up and started pacing and I could tell he was starting to get frustrated. “Tori what the hell? We talked about this happening! I thought you wanted this too?!”

I took a deep breath and tried to fight back the tears that were starting again. “Jeff, I’m scared,” I said quietly. He stopped and looked at me. “I can’t lose another baby,” I sobbed as he came back to sit next to me.

“Oh, baby, I know,” he responded, pulling me into his lap. “I know that. I’m scared too. But we talked to the doctors! You know what happened last time was a freak thing! You’re able to have a normal pregnancy and the chances of that happening again are so slim!”

“I know,” I said, burying my head in his chest. “But we didn’t think anything was going to happen last time either! I cannot do it again. I won’t get through it. We won’t get through it.”

“Listen, we’re going to be fine no matter what happens! Don’t ever say that. I love you. And I know somewhere deep down you’re just as excited about this as I am,” he said, pulling my head up to look me in the eye. “Now, I’m going to go call the doctor and you are going to go change those babies that are already present, alright?”

I nodded then leaned down and kissed him quickly. “Hey. Jeff.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant,” I whispered, allowing myself a small smile. “And don’t ever think I don’t want this. I’m just nervous. But I am happy.”

“I know you are, hun,” he said, smiling. “But I understand where you’re coming from too. I want to go see the doctor as much as you do. It’s gonna be fine, though. I have to believe that.”

Jeff helped me get the babies into their room and then took off to call the doctor. “Alright kiddos, let’s get you all changed and figure out what we’re doing for the rest of the day, hm?” I muttered as I absentmindedly changed them. I looked up when I heard Jeff come in and saw that he looked a little spooked.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, nervously.

“They want you to go to the hospital immediately,” he said quietly, glancing at the babies.

“Oh,” I whispered, trying to stay calm. “Well, okay. We’ll just pack them all back up I guess? What time is your practice today?”

“It’s afternoon practice and it’s optional. I’ll call the coach once we get there. I’m sure this is just a check-up to make sure you’re actually pregnant. I’ll probably be able to make it,” he said, looking like he was trying to convince himself.

“It’s fine, babe. I’m sure that’s it. Pack them all up and I’ll go put on some decent clothes. I’m sure we’ll be in and out in no time.”

A half an hour later we were waiting in the waiting room while they got a hold of my obstetrician.
She came to get us, glancing questioningly at the car seats, and asked us to follow her into a private room.

“How are you feeling, Tori?” she asked.

“Well, I’m nervous obviously, but other than that I feel fine, I guess,” I replied, glancing at Jeff.

“Okay, well, here’s the deal. I want to run some tests. There’s nothing to get too stressed out about – in fact you getting stressed out is the last thing we want. First off I want to do a blood test to ensure that you are, in fact, pregnant. When we have that confirmed I just want to find out how far along you are, do some other routine tests, and that sort of thing okay? What happened last time couldn’t have been prevented but I want to make sure everything is done flawlessly this time, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. That sounds okay,” Jeff cut in. “That all makes sense, right Tori?”

“Yup!” I replied, trying to sound cheerful. “Of course it does. Okay.”

“Perfect. Now I have some forms and such for you to fill out and then I’m going to get you to get
changed and we’ll move you upstairs to your room.”

“My… room?”

“Well we’re going to need to check you in for a couple of days so we can make sure everything is normal. Some of the results can take up to four days to come back,” she explained.

“Oh. Um, right. Can Jeff and I talk alone for a moment?”

“You sure can! I’ll go get your paperwork. I’ll knock before I come back in,” she said, still smiling.
As soon as the door shut I turned to Jeff. “Okay, so there’s no chance in hell I can be in here for four days.”

“We’ll figure it out. I’ll call one of my sisters. Or my mom. I’m sure someone can come down and help for a few days. Leaving is not an option, Tor. We need to make sure this baby is okay.”

“Gabe just left me with them! I don’t want someone else coming in and doing the job that was
entrusted to me. That is not good enough.”

“Gabe will understand, Tori. Come on. I’ll call him right now. Actually, he’s probably still at the airport. Calling him right now is a really good idea.”

“Yeah, go do that,” I said as there was a knock on the door. “I’ll start on the paper work.”

He came back into the room 15 minutes later and gave me a small nod. “Gabe’s on his way. He’s going to get a flight out later today. I also called my mom and she found a flight that will get in really early tomorrow. He’s okay with that. She’ll probably stay through Christmas too for some extra help. She’s got enough time built up at work that she can take the whole month off.”

“Alright,” I said, handing him the paper work for the information I didn’t know. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with them alone at the apartment tonight? You have a game tomorrow.”

“I’ll be fine. Mom’ll be here in time for me to go to practice tomorrow morning and she’ll probably bring them in here for the afternoon and visit you.”

“I’d like that,” I replied, giving him a small smile. Once he had finished all the paperwork we followed the doctor upstairs to a private room where a nurse met us and asked me to get changed. By the time I was in bed and getting prepared for the blood tests Gabe burst into the room.

“Oh my God, are you guys okay?” he exclaimed, rushing over to give me a hug. “I don’t have to go, you know. If you guys need me here I’m here.”

“That’s not necessary,” I said with a small laugh. “This is nothing, really. Just some routine tests. I’ll be out in a few days and Jeff’s mom is coming in. It’s just a little unexpected, that’s all. You didn’t need to change your flight either. We could’ve managed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he responded. “I’m going to get them out of your way for the day so the doctors can do their thing. I’ll bring them back here around 5 then head back to the airport.”

“Thanks Gabe,” Jeff said, handing him his keys. “Take the truck obviously and the apartment keys are on there too if you just want to go there and chill.”

“Alright. Thanks. Call me if there’s any news.”

“We will.”

After he shut the door the nurse approached the bed. “Alright, Ms. Jones. Let’s get started shall we?”