Ab Initio

I was putting some eyeliner on and added some mascara
and was done, seconds before there was a knock on my door.

I walked over to it and opened the door, already expecting him.
"I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Shut up Jules, it's been 24 hours or something."
Tom said, with a smile.

"My point exactly."
I responded while giving him a hug.
"Ready for a night filled with movies, snacks and drinks?"

"Yes, I am. Did you get good snacks, though?"
He asked, while I closed the door behind him.

"Don't I always?"
I said, softly slapping his arm.

"Every now and then, sure."
he responded and winked at me.

"You're such a.."
I started but he clasped his hand over my mouth
and lowered himself to my height to look in my eyes.

"I might hurt you if you don't finish that sentence nicely."
he said, with a husky voice.

I rolled with my eyes and then nodded.
He raised one eyebrow and removed his hand.

"Sweetheart."
I said, trying to sound insincere.
I failed miserably.

"That's a good girl."
he said, pleased.

I shook my head and then sat down on the couch.
"What movies are we gonna watch?"

"I'm okay with whatever you pick, love."
he said, sitting down next to me and throwing one arm on the
backrest.

"Okay, I'll pick something. I like the beardish thing, by the way."
I said, pointing out his not so shaven-face.

"You do?"
he said, rubbing his stubble.

"Yep. Very manly. Don't go to the pub like this, though.
You'll be swarmed with girls."
I said, seriously.

"Think so?"
he asked me, trying to see if I was sincere or not.

"Oh, yeah. Defintetely."
I said, nodding along the way.

"You're fucking with me, aren't you?"
he wanted to know.

"Only a little. The stubble looks good on you and there probably will
be girls who totally dig it. I don't know about the swarming part, though."
I responded with a smile.

"I don't like being swarmed so that's probably a good thing.
And then there's you."
he said, with a shrug.

"What about me?"
I asked him.

"Well, they'll probably have to fight you off first before these girls
can even consider.."
he said and I laughed.

"Dude, don't worry. I actually meant to tell you but I totally forgot.
I met someone the other day."
I said, with a smile.

"I'm not sure I understand. You.. Met someone. Okay.
And?"
Tom asked, looking confused.

"Oh Tom. He's amazing. I really like this guy, you know?
He asked me out and I said yes. I totally have a date tomorrow!"
I said, with a beaming smile.

"That's cool. I'm happy for you, Jules."
Tom said, with a slight smile.

"And he's so handsome as well. Like, hands down. One of the
most gorgeous guys I've ever met."
I rambled on.

"What about me?"
Tom joked.

"Obviously, that's why I said ONE of the most gorgeous guys I've
ever met. You'll always be my number one guy!"
I said, smiling like an idiot and standing up from the couch.
I decided I wanted a snack so I walked over to the kitchen.

"Good. You almost had me, there."
he responded, with a frown.
"Look, I have to go. I'll talk to you later okay?
Have.. fun. On your date."

"You're leaving? I thought we were gonna watch
movies together and hang out?"
I asked, with a pout.

"Yeah, I know but erm.. Something came up and I have
to go. See you later, okay?"
Tom said, walking over to the kitchen and hugging me from
behind.

"Bye, love. Be careful."
he said, before kissing my temple.

"But Tom.. I want you here tonight."
I said, trying to make him stay.

"Why?"
he asked, still embracing me.

"Because you said you would and I just want you to stay.
I don't need a reason."
I responded, not feeling so happy all of a sudden.

"I can't tonight, love. I'm sorry."
he said, before releasing me and walking to the livingroom
and grabbing his coat.

"You're a douche for ditching me. Is there a girl I should know
of? Do you have a date? You can tell me you know.
I promise I won't be jealous."
I said, jokingly.

"If there was someone, you'd be the first to know, Jules.
You know that. But there hasn't been anyone in a while and I
don't expect anyone to come along anytime soon so..
No need to be jealous."
Tom responded with a smile.

"Okay, what is it?"
I asked, crossing my arms.

"I beg your pardon?"
he asked.

"Cut the crap, Hardy. I know you. You never ditch
me. Like, ever. So why today?"
I wanted to know.

"I don't.."
He started but stopping mid-sentence.

"You don't what?"
I nudged him on.

"I'm just.. I'm gonna go. Have a nice date, tomorrow."
He said before turning around and walking out the door.

I frowned in confusion.
What the hell just happened?

I sat down on the couch and tried to figure out where things
started to get weird but I couldn't figure it out.
How did this happen? He was being completely weird with me
for a reason and I had no clue whatsoever, what I did to make him
act like this.

I decided to call him.
While I grabbed my phone the door flung open.

Tom was standing in the doorway, with a sad look on his face.

"Tom?! What the hell!"
I said, clutching my chest.
"You scared the shit out of me!"

"Don't go on that date tomorrow."
he just said, while looking at me.

"Excuse me?"
I asked, baffled.

"Don't go on that date tomorrow, Jules."
Tom said, still in the doorway.

I just stared at him in shock.
Where was this even coming from?

"I don't understand.."
I said, flabberghasted.
"Let's just sit down and we can talk. I'll get you something to drink.
Sit down, okay? I'm gonna go to the kitchen."

I walked over to the kitchen, grabbed him a coke and then returned
to be welcomed by an empty doorway.

"Tom?"
I looked around but he was nowhere to be seen.
"TOM?!"

I looked outside and saw a figure walking down the street.
Not thinking twice, I ran outside. It was pretty cold and the sky
looked like it was going to burst open with rain soon but I didn't care.

When I closed in on the figure, I saw it was Tom so I started to
run faster.
"Tom!"

Tom turned around and his eyes opened in shock.
"What the hell are you doing? Get inside, you're gonna get
sick like this!"

He shrugged off his coat and put it over my shoulders.

"What the hell is going on?"
I wanted to know.

"Just get inside before you catch a cold or something,
will you Jules?"
he said, nudging me to my house.

"No, I won't. I mean it, Tom. What's going on?"
I said, pushing his hand off of me.
"Why do you come back to my house,
say something that, quite frankly, doesn't make sense and then run
off again? Talk to me."

I'd grabbed his hand in mine, trying to get through to him.
"Talk to me, Tom."
I said, again.

He looked into my eyes and sighed.
"I love you, Jules."

"You know I feel the same but that doesn't explain.."
Reality sunk in and I stopped talking.
"Oh. You mean.. Oh."

He nodded and kept staring at me.
His eyes were sad and he never looked so lonely

"I don't.."
I started but I didn't know how to finish.

"I know. I know you don't. I'm gonna go.
Have fun, tomorrow."
he said, releasing my hands and stepping back.
"I'm gonna miss you."

"What?"
I asked, not understanding him.

"Have fun tomorrow, Jules. I'm sorry."
was his response before turning around and leaving.

"Tom, come back. Tom! Please?!"
I yelled, frozen on the spot.
Why wouldn't my legs move so I could run after him?
I didn't want things to end like this between us, he was the one
guy I could trust myself with.

All I could do was sit down on the sidewalk with my head in my hands.

After a while, I felt my legs again and I stood up.
I looked down the road, the way Tom had walked off to
and turned the other way, to get inside.

When I was inside the house, I sat down on the couch and wrapped myself
in Tom's coat. It had his scent all over it and it made me feel a little
less miserable.

After an hour or two of trying to come to grips with what had happened,
I had texted and called Tom numerous times but he wouldn't
answer or respond to anything.

Then all of a sudden, I found myself standing up and walking out the door.
The rain was coming down hard and it had been, for a while.

I grabbed a coat, put it on and then walked outside with only one direction in mind.
Tom's house.

After a little over 15 minutes I arrived with my thoughts still in a jumble.
I knocked on his door and waited. But no one opened.

"Tom! Open the fucking door if you're there. We need to talk!"
I said, pounding on the door now.

Still, no one opened so I sat down on the sidewalk, waiting for him
to come home so we could have a normal conversation.

While I was waiting, I decided to call my date for tomorrow.

"Look, I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be able to make it tomorrow."
I said, through clattering teeth.

"Oh. That sucks, I was looking forward to it."
he said.

"I'm sorry, I think I'm getting sick or something because I really
don't feel so well."
I responded.

"Yeah, you sound like you're cold. Can we reschedule?"
he asked and I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, no. I don't think it's such a good idea for me to date.
I'm a bit of a mess right now."
I answered truthfully.

"I see. Well, if you ever feel like dating again, give me a call?"
he responded, sounding upbeat, still.

"Yeah, of course."
I said, knowing fulll well I would never call him again.

"Awesome. Feel better!"
he responded before disconnecting the call.

I put my phone in my pocket again, hoping to God it wouldn't be
wrecked with all this rain.

After what felt like minutes, I saw a hooded figure walking towards Tom's
house. I kept my eyes locked on the figure, ready to scream if I needed.

"Jules?"
the hooded figure asked.

I'd recognize that voice anywhere.
"Hey, Tom."

"What the hell are you doing? You're soaking wet!"
he said, helping me up and wrapping me in his arms.

I was shivering like mad.

"I had to talk to you, Tom. I just had to."
I said, through clattering teeth.

"And you didn't wait in the car because..?"
he asked.

"I walked here."
I answered, sniffing.

"So it couldn't wait until morning?"
he wanted to know.

"No, not after what you said."
I responded, releasing myself from his grip.

His eyes were sad the minute I brought it up.
I hated the fact that I was responsible for his sadness.

"I shouldn't.."
he said, stepping back.

"Yes, you did. You should've told me, Tom. After everything we've
been through.."
I said, shaking my head and looking up at him.

"I was afraid, Jules. You're not just some girl. It's terrifying, trying
to tell the girl you love how you feel. You have no idea."
Tom responded, sounding worried.

"I thought that after that one time, the tension was gone."
I said, softly.

"Come on, Jules. You can't tell me you didn't still feel it, too.
Just because we had sex once, didn't mean the sexual tension
was out of my system."
Tom said, a little agitated now.

"You should've told me, damn it!"
I responded, a little mad now.

"And get blown off like a few hours back, no thanks."
he said, sighing.
"I just didn't know how to tell you and then you go and tell
me about some guy you met that's the epitome of beautiful
or whatever. I just knew I never had a shot with you but I just
wanted you to know!"
he said, kicking against something on the ground.

He turned his back towards me and I tried to swallow the lump in
my throat. I was awfully close to tears.

I waited for him to turn around and then he looked me right in the eyes.
We stood there for a few minutes, and I felt completely drained.

Tom looked a little lost while some raindrops danced on his skin and others
got caught in his eyelashes.

"I didn't blow you off."
I said, finally.

"Yes, you did."
Tom said, still not moving.

"I didn't. I just wanted to say that I didn't know how to respond but I
was shocked at your confession. And before I could explain myself you left.
I didn't blow you off, Tom. I swear."
I said, my tears blending in with the raindrops.
"I don't want this to end."

I could tell he was confused so I just decided to talk.

"I don't want us to end, I like the way we are. I want to be the
one the girls have to fight off and I want you to know that
you truly are my number one guy. I didn't know how to respond
earlier because I didn't want to hurt you in any way but you shocked
me. I had no, no idea you felt that way about me. If I had known,
I'd never agreed to that stupid date with that stupid guy. I hardly date
because I compare every guy I meet to you. And they always lose to you, Tom.
Always."
I said, coming to terms with my own feelings.
"After that one time, I thought that was it for you so I just pushed
my feelings out of the way but I love you, I do. And.."

I wanted to ramble on but Tom took 2 big steps and pressed his lips
against mine.

I was instantly warmed up.
He had his hands in my neck and held me firlmy in my place.

When he released his lips from mine, I took a deep breath.
He leaned his forehead against mine and had a small smile on his lips.

"I love you, Tom."
I whispered, before hugging him close.
"God, I should've figured that out already."

Tom laughed his beautiful laugh and I couldn't help but laugh
with him.
"Let's get inside."
Tom said before grabbing my hand and pulling me inside with him.

"We're soaked."
I said, looking at myself and then at Tom.

"Hey, Capatain Obvious is here!"
Tom said, before getting out of his coat.

I decided to do the same and found a mirror.
"Holy crap, I look hideous!"
I exclaimed after seeing my make up smeared and my hair
in a mess.

"No, you don't. You're gorgeous."
Tom whispered, before kissing my temple.

"I could use a shower, though."
I said, blushing at his compliment.

"I do happen to have a shower in the house. Would
you like to use it?"
he asked, pointing upstairs.

I nodded.
"On one condition."

"I'd be happy to come with you!"
he said, with a big smile, the joke obvious.

"Good, let's go."
I said, grabbing his hand.

"Eurh.. I was only joking."
he said, walking with me, hesitantly.

I turned around, being one step above him and
I gently placed my lips on his, wrapping my arms
around his neck.
I ran my tongue across his lower lip and before I knew it,
I was passionately kissing Tom, my best friend in the whole world.

It was pretty amazing.

Breaking away, we both needed to catch our breath a little.
"I wasn't."
I said, looking him dead in the eyes.

It took him a while but then he smiled and lifted
me off my feet, carrying me upstairs.

"Your wish is my command, my lady."
he said before putting me down on my feet again.

I smiled at him before turning on the shower and stripping
myself from my clothes. It took a while because everything was
soaking wet so it stuck to my skin.

I climbed in the shower and it didn't take long for Tom
to get in there with me.

I smiled at him shyly. It had been a while since he'd seen me like
this and we were both a little drunk when our little adventure happened.

"Hey.."
Tom lifted my head up with his finger under my chin so I had to
look at him.
"If you don't want to do this, that's fine. I can get out if you want
to. Not that you have anything to be ashamed about, though.
You're beautiful. Like, really beautiful."

I smiled at him and I shook my head.
"I'm fine, Tom."

He nodded before softly placing his lips on mine again.
The warm water and the effect Tom had on me, made me
heat up within seconds of kissing him.

His hands were constantly on my back and neck, what made me
want him even more. He was constantly thinking about me and my feelings.

After a while of making out, I decided I couldn't really wait any longer.
I shut off the shower and released my lips from his.
They were a little sore but that felt good.

I put a towel around me and walked off to his bedroom.
When he entered as well, the towel was loosily hanging around
his waist, and his chest was still wet.

"I haven't been here for a while. You always come over to
my house. Why is that?"
I asked, realising the small fact.

"When we're done with watching movies and eating everyhing
we can get our hands on, it's late. I don't want anything to happen to you
so I'd rather go over to you. That way you're safely at home. And I can
kick anyone's ass, really."
Tom said, while sitting down next to me.

He gently moved my hair from my shoulders and kissed it.
I smiled at his comment and at his gentle touch.

"You realise this changes everything, right?"
I asked softly.

"Yes, I do. We don't have to go through with this, Juliette."
he said, kissing my temple.

"You used my full name twice today. I think that's a record."
I said, grinning.

"I believe it is."
Tom responded, with a smile.

I sighed, turned my body towards him and lifted one leg over his
so I had either leg on one side of him.
"I'm a little nervous."
I admitted.

"Don't worry."
he just said, before softly pressing his lips against mine again.

Soon, I was completely lost in the blissfull feeling of his lips,
his arms around me and the warmth, radiating from his body.

After a few minutes of feeling like the luckiest girl in the world,
I grabbed his hand and led it to the knot I made in the towel.

Without breaking away, he undid the knot and threw the towel
away. I shivered, because of the cold suddenly hitting my back.

Tom understood so he stood up, turned us around and then gently
placed me on the bed. Somewhere along the way he got rid of his
towel as well and I wasn't cold anymore, when he covered my body
with his.

His hand made his way to my breast and softly started kneading it.
It was an amazing feeling and I couldn't help but moan out
in pleasure.
This urged him on and the kiss started to get even more passionate.

Then he broke away slightly.
"Are you sure?"
he whispered, looking me in the eyes.

I smiled and nodded.
"Yes, I am."

Tom smiled before connecting his lips with mine again
as I was preparing myself for what was coming next..

---

We were lying in the bed, completely exhausted.

"We should've done this way sooner."
I said, panting a little and gently caressing Tom's hair.
He was lying next to me with his head on my chest.

"I can only agree with you on that."
Tom said, while I felt him smile.

We didn't move for a while before Tom leant back
and supported himself on his elbows.

"What's that guy like, that you have a date with?"
he asked, curious.

"Tall, dark and handsome."
I said, immediatly.

Tom's face fell and I smiled.
"I called him while I was waiting for you. I don't have a date
tomorrow because I want to be with you. Tall, dark and handsome
isn't my type anyway."
I shrugged.

"So what is your type?"
Tom asked, while playing with a strand of hair.

"You."
I replied, grabbbing his hand and kissing it.
"You were always my type."

"You mean that?"
he asked.

"Yes, I believe I do."
I yawned and then I felt Tom's arm around me.

"We should sleep. It's 4 o'clock in the morning or something."
he said, cuddling up next to me.

"Sleeping sounds nice."
I said, yawning again.

"Hey, Tom?"
I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Mhm?"
he responded, sleepy.

I lifted myself up and placed a kiss on his lips.
"I love you."
I whispered.

He opened his eyes and I looked in them.
"I mean it."

A smile appeared before he gently moved some hair behind
my ear and leaning in for another kiss.
"I love you, too."

I smiled before laying my head down on his chest.
Falling asleep, I sighed in content.
I could definetely get used to this.