Islands

December 2, 2010 Capitals 1 @ Stars 2
December 4, 2010 Thrashers 3 @ Capitals 1
December 6, 2010 Leafs 5 @ Capitals 4 (SO)
December 9, 2010 Panthers 3 @ Capitals 0
December 11, 2010 Avalanche 3 @ Capitals 2
December 12, 2010 Capitals 0 @ Rangers 7
December 15, 2010 Ducks 2 @ Capitals 1(OT)
December 18, 2010 Capitals 2 @ Bruins 3
December 19, 2010 Capitals 3 @ Senators 2
December 21, 2010 Devils 1 @ Capitals 5
December 23, 2010 Penguins 3 @ Capitals 2 (SO)
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It took a careful hand to shut the front door behind me as quietly as possible. Once I’d done it, I ran down the steps, my warm breath puffing out like smoke in the cool Washington evening. A familiar red Range Rover was parked curbside. It was blocking the driveway but that didn’t matter much because my sister and her family were all asleep in bed. The hour was almost midnight.

Nicky was leaning against the driver’s side door of his truck, his hands tucked in the pockets of his bomber jacket. I texted him half an hour earlier and it looked like he’d been home and had time to change out of his game day suit. When I reached him, I simply leaned up on my toes and leaned in, pressing my lips against his. My hands went to his shoulders and his went from his pockets to my waist, steadying me. Nicky’s back hunched forward as he responded to me and my ankles nearly touched the ground again.

He pulled back slightly but I kissed him again, moving one of my hands to the nape of his neck. He adjusted his hands from my waist to my elbows, giving in to me. When the prolonged kissing did stop, he held me there, stroking one of my cheeks with the pad of his thumb, our foreheads touching.

I smiled, my eyes still closed. The moment was heavy and light all at the same time. My heart felt weighted down in my chest. It was like being under a spell. When I opened my eyes I felt the same—the spell was still there—and I didn’t want to speak, fearing it would break.

The street light made Nicky’s eyes look golden. His hands covered my waist again as he spoke, “I’m really glad you text me.”

I pressed my head against his shoulder and I pulled him forward from the vehicle, holding my arms around him tightly. God, I loved his accent and the small imperfection in his speech. He smelled like cologne and laundry detergent wrapped around me.

My words were muffled against his shoulder when I replied, “Me too.”

I was acting stupidly. I wasn’t a clingy girl but I was clinging to him like I hadn’t seen him in weeks. My actions were probably a contradiction to what I’d made such a big deal out of. I said I didn’t want to be his girlfriend yet, but I couldn’t even handle not talking for him for a day.

We moved into the backseat of the SUV to be shielded from the chilly December air. I thought it best not to invite him inside the house, where I might feel tempted to take him upstairs to the guest room. It would be bad news if my nephew woke up in the morning to see one of his hockey heroes sharing a bed with me. We couldn’t go to Nicky’s house either, because his family and friends were there from Sweden. It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t think we were going to be having sex. We just needed a few minutes to talk, a little while to see each other.

Somehow Nicky managed to fit his hockey butt in the seat so that his back was to the door on the far side. I sat between his legs, one bent and leaning against the back rest and the other dangling off the seat. My back was pressed to his chest and my head rested in the crook of his neck, his arms wrapped around me.

“I saw the entire game,” I told him.

“Oh,” he answered, “then you saw my bad shot in the shootout.”

Just as I thought, he brought up the shootout. “No, I saw your assist.”

Nicky chuckled and I felt the rumble in his chest. “Is not even really a good assist. They just gave it to me because I touched the puck before Sasha.”

A long time passed before either of us said anything else. I made out with him when he showed up partly because I missed him and partly because I was scared of the tension between us if I didn’t. I wasn’t sure exactly what I made Nicky feel since the last time I saw him but I did remember the awkward drive from his house. I didn’t want there to be awkwardness between us. He was already so sweet and quiet as it was.

“Nicky,” I finally said.

He shifted his leg on the seat and our knees touched. “Yes?”

“I don’t want to lose you,” I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper.

I was supposed to be accustomed to confrontation. My job as a R.A. required it. But it was easier to say something heavy to Nicky without looking at him, and I was thankful he couldn’t see my face because of the way he was holding me.

Nicky drummed his fingers on my waistline and answered, “You won’t.”

He had no hesitation as he said it.

I sighed. “I don’t think we’re at the point where I can be your girlfriend.”

“I’m…” Nicky paused. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m just…I think that everything is moving so fast and it seems like it’s all fallen into place perfectly,” I further explained. “It’s almost like a dream and I’m worried that it isn’t real.”

It was the same thing I told my sister because it was my biggest concern. Nicky was unlike anyone I’d ever dated before. He didn’t say much but things moved along. I didn’t question if he liked me, but I wanted to know how much and if it could just hit a brick wall and stop. I was a modern girl; I didn’t buy into soul mates or destiny. I wondered if there was a finite amount of affection he could have for me, and if we were moving at a lightning pace, would he get there fast? And what would it mean for our relationship once he got there?

“Remember what you said to me yesterday? When you said you’re falling for me?” he asked.

How could I forget? “Yeah.”

“I fell for you already,” he spoke quietly. “So is all real to me.”

I broke into a grin, shifting my head and burying my face in Nicky’s neck. It was probably the cheesiest thing I’d ever heard but it was still adorable. I was torn between laughing and cooing. His hand moved up my back and into my hair and I pursed my lips, pressing a kiss on the curve between his neck and chin.

Pulling loose from his grip, I awkwardly sat up between his legs. There wasn’t really anything else I had to say that that I felt self-conscious about saying to his face. I also sensed he was getting uncomfortable. His limbs were too big and too long to be cramped in that small space. He moved his legs from the seat and we both shifted into sitting positions.

“When can I see you for Christmas?” he asked as he draped an arm over my shoulders. “We go to Raleigh right after morning skate on the 26.”

There were no games on the NHL schedule for Christmas Eve or Christmas but hockey picked right back up again on the day Canadians referred to as Boxing Day. Only two games remained for the Capitals before the year ended. The next was an away game, a divisional matchup against the Carolina Hurricanes.

“Do you know if you have any time free on Christmas Day?” I answered.

“Whole day is pretty open,” he shrugged. “We—in Sweden—we celebrate on Christmas Eve. That’s why HBO cameras will be there at the house tomorrow.”

“Uh oh,” I teased, “don’t let them catch you doing anything silly.”

“Not me,” he shook his head. “Probably Greenie.”

I laughed. Of course Mike would be there. They were in a bromance, after all.

“How ‘bout we meet in the afternoon on Christmas Day?” I suggested.

“Perfect,” he nodded. “I am excited to give your present.”

I moved my hand to his thigh. “I’m excited to give you your present, too.”

“You actually got me one?”

“Why would you think that I wouldn’t?” I raised my eyebrows, confused.

“That day we went bowling, we were gonna dance or you were gonna get me a Christmas present depending on who won,” he replied. “You won.”

“Wow,” I said. “I can’t believe you remember that.”

It seemed so long ago. He had another point to his credit, showing me how far we’d come since then. Unintentionally, Nicky was showing me that maybe I was wrong. It was true that we’d moved too fast. But it had been a natural thing. There wasn’t any time in the weeks I’d known him that anything ever felt forced. Maybe that meant we were much closer to ready for a relationship than I realized.

I kissed his cheek and took his free hand, intertwining our fingers. “Things have changed,” I whispered.

Maybe it wasn’t that we weren’t ready yet. Maybe it was just me that wasn’t ready.