I ***ed him and I didn’t even know his name
One day while walking down the street I saw a man he was tall lengthy and had messy brown hair I stared at him for a moment and wondered what he was doing on the street corner on such a cold day. Then again what was I doing on the street corner on such a cold day? The answer is simple, I needed Christmas money and my ex-boyfriend smoked pot so I was going to sell it to make some quick Christmas cash.
I was walking the street one day.. it was getting close to Christmas, and I was contemplating my life and what I was gonna do this year.. I found myself standing on a street corner.. I looked up and saw a strange girl just STAIRING at me.. I gave a slight smile, and then she began to walk towards me.. for a moment I thought she was a prostate.. so that made me happy.. I whipped out my…. Money, to see what kind of services she could provide, she looked at the massive boner I had in my pants and frowned she pointed to the bag in her hand and said “I’m not a slut I’m a drug dealer you sick freak” I pointed down to my pulsating trousers again, and said “I’ll give you triple the money you were wanting for that if you… go on a date with me.
The man was odd strange and creepy I noticed a large bulge in his pants as I began to walk over to him. What the fuck I thought to myself does he think I’m gonna fuck him here right on this street corner? No thank you. He began speaking and a foul odor came out as he spoke obviously from lack of dental hygiene. He offered triple the money for a date so I took him up on his offer. Hell what did I care I would have gotten 500 for the pot but now I will get1500 to go sit in taco bell and eat a crunch wrap supreme with chicken instead of beef. So we walked over to the closest taco bell we could find, we ordered, and sat down. At that point I didn’t know what to say so I began the conversation the best way I thought possible. Sooooo….. what are you doin later tonight?
I smiled at her, and said watchin prom night, I hear it’s a scary that is stupid I laughed when she looked at me like I had no idea what I was talking about, I looked into her eyes for a moment tracing every section of her skin, my fingers traced around her jaw line and I pulled her chin up to look at me, she looked terrified but then gave in she closed her eyes, there I said to her softly, “you have a taco shell almost up your nostril…” she quickly jerked her head away and got the disgusting thing outta her nose, we sat there for a few more minutes, and finished the tacos. When I got up I spotted my ex.. she was as nasty as ever, I had just gotten rid of her, telling her that I had been killed in a freak lawn mower accident involving my grandma and a penguin… I looked to the girl that I had just met and crashed my lips into hers, that way I could block my face from my ex. Surprisingly her lips were soft, she was trying to press me back but I leaned in harder, taking the space away from between us. When the kiss was over her face lit up a bright red I chuckled noting how her expression was cute. Next thing I remember was being slammed down on the table, this chick had given me an upper cut right across the face, I felt my butt unclench and farted on impact when I hit the table, the girl busted out into hysterics, as I felt myself sinking onto the floor onto my knees, at first it was quiet.. but the nervs had failed and I shit myself then and there.
The fucking asshole had the nerve to grab my face and try to kiss me and as I tried to pull away from him I felt the warmth of his body come in closer angered and aroused I threw him onto the table before having a complete explosive orgasm in the middle of taco bell. I giant cut surfaced across his face and I saw the blood dripping down his jaw line. The full moon came out from behind the clouds and some freak of nature standing behind us, female, started turning into a werewolf. WHAT THE FUCKING NUT SACKS!! The man on the floor was holding the wound on his face. Run, run, run away from here go quick she will eat you!!!!!!!! But I didn’t want to leave I had realized something I hadn’t in the past 20 minutes I had known this odd man, I was in love with him. The sweet surrender of being in his arms, the exhilarating feeling of being his, it was something I could never get back. All commotion set a side I grabbed him and we ran out of taco bell before the girl turned fully into a wolf. We ran hand in hand out of there a cold autumn chill running through my body, we ran down the street away from the restaurant and away from reality.
The girl I had only met 25 minutes ago was now charging down the street with me, hand in hand, I hoped that he couldn’t smell anything, because the poo was now running down my leg and into my shoe, we stopped for a moment to catch our breath, she looked over at me “did you step in dog shit on the way here” I sheepishly nodded, she smiled and said “oh well I did too” we smiled at each other, but rising to her eyes.. That was until the air had shifted... the wind blew from behind me and went breezing to her face in a moment that she leapt towards us was the moment she died. I had forgotten that human feces could kill werewolves, we looked at each other once again, and she sniffed, and said “did you shit yourself?” I shook ‘no’ I let go of her hand and told her I had to do something down this alley way I asked her to stay there for a moment.. I knew this alley way was famous for it’s random cloth hangings and hoses, I stripped off my pants grabbed a new pair and led back. Her eyes narrowed and she said “uhh you still smell of shit…” my eyes widened, I ran back to the alley way where I was greeted by hobos, I threw my shit smeared pants at them in an attempt to distract them, I grabbed the hose and sprayed the poo off, I came back in a better pair of pants, I winked at her…
With all the strangeness done and the wolf demon dead I had time to clear my head. The man I loved so much disappeared into a dark smelly alley it smelled of human feces. I waited while he cleaned himself up a bit. What was I to do, this thirty something or other year old man had my heart and I only the young age of 22 could not return home to my mother and three younger siblings with a fine middle aged man! It was impossible and yet as I thought on it I had not had someone who made me feel this way before. As he walked over I hid my face afraid he might see my tears. “What’s wrong?” he asked me “why are you crying? Is it the smell of the dog shit still?” he smelled that empty clear air. ‘no its not the dog shit. It’s that i…. I’ll never…. Ever see you again” I sighed “and I love you!”
What I had asked for was a date.. what I had gotten was a love confession… my heart throbbed in my chest, her tears took the breathe outta me, I grabbed her in a protective hug and felt her squirm between my arms then she got comfy to where she rested her head against my chest, I smiled as a perverted thought flicked through my mind but decided to let it go worrying it might ruin the moment.. I held her there for a few more moments before the vampires came, my eyes went wide I could feel the heat rising from my dick in an angry fury, “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” I spat they grinned and pointed to the girl “uhh ya the writers are fucked up ... we want her.. “ ,my brow furrowed, I felt my teeth sharpening, before I knew it I turned to a mother fucking bad ass dragon.
I felt the heat in his dick rise preparing to reach down into his pants and give him the best hand job he had ever gotten; he turned and began speaking to a mysterious creature behind me. MY EX BOYFRIEND!
To be continued…………..
Writers note: this story was inspired by a hundred percent true story that happened to me. Unfortunately the girl and I did not stay together but at the time we were going to make a novel on this story so we did an author’s edition from each point of view. Enjoy!
I was walking the street one day.. it was getting close to Christmas, and I was contemplating my life and what I was gonna do this year.. I found myself standing on a street corner.. I looked up and saw a strange girl just STAIRING at me.. I gave a slight smile, and then she began to walk towards me.. for a moment I thought she was a prostate.. so that made me happy.. I whipped out my…. Money, to see what kind of services she could provide, she looked at the massive boner I had in my pants and frowned she pointed to the bag in her hand and said “I’m not a slut I’m a drug dealer you sick freak” I pointed down to my pulsating trousers again, and said “I’ll give you triple the money you were wanting for that if you… go on a date with me.
The man was odd strange and creepy I noticed a large bulge in his pants as I began to walk over to him. What the fuck I thought to myself does he think I’m gonna fuck him here right on this street corner? No thank you. He began speaking and a foul odor came out as he spoke obviously from lack of dental hygiene. He offered triple the money for a date so I took him up on his offer. Hell what did I care I would have gotten 500 for the pot but now I will get1500 to go sit in taco bell and eat a crunch wrap supreme with chicken instead of beef. So we walked over to the closest taco bell we could find, we ordered, and sat down. At that point I didn’t know what to say so I began the conversation the best way I thought possible. Sooooo….. what are you doin later tonight?
I smiled at her, and said watchin prom night, I hear it’s a scary that is stupid I laughed when she looked at me like I had no idea what I was talking about, I looked into her eyes for a moment tracing every section of her skin, my fingers traced around her jaw line and I pulled her chin up to look at me, she looked terrified but then gave in she closed her eyes, there I said to her softly, “you have a taco shell almost up your nostril…” she quickly jerked her head away and got the disgusting thing outta her nose, we sat there for a few more minutes, and finished the tacos. When I got up I spotted my ex.. she was as nasty as ever, I had just gotten rid of her, telling her that I had been killed in a freak lawn mower accident involving my grandma and a penguin… I looked to the girl that I had just met and crashed my lips into hers, that way I could block my face from my ex. Surprisingly her lips were soft, she was trying to press me back but I leaned in harder, taking the space away from between us. When the kiss was over her face lit up a bright red I chuckled noting how her expression was cute. Next thing I remember was being slammed down on the table, this chick had given me an upper cut right across the face, I felt my butt unclench and farted on impact when I hit the table, the girl busted out into hysterics, as I felt myself sinking onto the floor onto my knees, at first it was quiet.. but the nervs had failed and I shit myself then and there.
The fucking asshole had the nerve to grab my face and try to kiss me and as I tried to pull away from him I felt the warmth of his body come in closer angered and aroused I threw him onto the table before having a complete explosive orgasm in the middle of taco bell. I giant cut surfaced across his face and I saw the blood dripping down his jaw line. The full moon came out from behind the clouds and some freak of nature standing behind us, female, started turning into a werewolf. WHAT THE FUCKING NUT SACKS!! The man on the floor was holding the wound on his face. Run, run, run away from here go quick she will eat you!!!!!!!! But I didn’t want to leave I had realized something I hadn’t in the past 20 minutes I had known this odd man, I was in love with him. The sweet surrender of being in his arms, the exhilarating feeling of being his, it was something I could never get back. All commotion set a side I grabbed him and we ran out of taco bell before the girl turned fully into a wolf. We ran hand in hand out of there a cold autumn chill running through my body, we ran down the street away from the restaurant and away from reality.
The girl I had only met 25 minutes ago was now charging down the street with me, hand in hand, I hoped that he couldn’t smell anything, because the poo was now running down my leg and into my shoe, we stopped for a moment to catch our breath, she looked over at me “did you step in dog shit on the way here” I sheepishly nodded, she smiled and said “oh well I did too” we smiled at each other, but rising to her eyes.. That was until the air had shifted... the wind blew from behind me and went breezing to her face in a moment that she leapt towards us was the moment she died. I had forgotten that human feces could kill werewolves, we looked at each other once again, and she sniffed, and said “did you shit yourself?” I shook ‘no’ I let go of her hand and told her I had to do something down this alley way I asked her to stay there for a moment.. I knew this alley way was famous for it’s random cloth hangings and hoses, I stripped off my pants grabbed a new pair and led back. Her eyes narrowed and she said “uhh you still smell of shit…” my eyes widened, I ran back to the alley way where I was greeted by hobos, I threw my shit smeared pants at them in an attempt to distract them, I grabbed the hose and sprayed the poo off, I came back in a better pair of pants, I winked at her…
With all the strangeness done and the wolf demon dead I had time to clear my head. The man I loved so much disappeared into a dark smelly alley it smelled of human feces. I waited while he cleaned himself up a bit. What was I to do, this thirty something or other year old man had my heart and I only the young age of 22 could not return home to my mother and three younger siblings with a fine middle aged man! It was impossible and yet as I thought on it I had not had someone who made me feel this way before. As he walked over I hid my face afraid he might see my tears. “What’s wrong?” he asked me “why are you crying? Is it the smell of the dog shit still?” he smelled that empty clear air. ‘no its not the dog shit. It’s that i…. I’ll never…. Ever see you again” I sighed “and I love you!”
What I had asked for was a date.. what I had gotten was a love confession… my heart throbbed in my chest, her tears took the breathe outta me, I grabbed her in a protective hug and felt her squirm between my arms then she got comfy to where she rested her head against my chest, I smiled as a perverted thought flicked through my mind but decided to let it go worrying it might ruin the moment.. I held her there for a few more moments before the vampires came, my eyes went wide I could feel the heat rising from my dick in an angry fury, “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” I spat they grinned and pointed to the girl “uhh ya the writers are fucked up ... we want her.. “ ,my brow furrowed, I felt my teeth sharpening, before I knew it I turned to a mother fucking bad ass dragon.
I felt the heat in his dick rise preparing to reach down into his pants and give him the best hand job he had ever gotten; he turned and began speaking to a mysterious creature behind me. MY EX BOYFRIEND!
To be continued…………..
Writers note: this story was inspired by a hundred percent true story that happened to me. Unfortunately the girl and I did not stay together but at the time we were going to make a novel on this story so we did an author’s edition from each point of view. Enjoy!