Maybe We'll Pretend Right Now

"Did you ever love her, Daddy? I thought you only loved Vic," our daughter is laying down on the ground now, her head in my lap, pulling grass from the soil.

"I believed that I did love her," I reply. Combing my fingers through her hair, I lay my head back and look to the sky. "I guess I didn't really know what love felt like at the time."

She sits up then, with a questioning look in her eye. "What do you mean?"

I shrug my shoulders and adjust my sitting position. "How about I get on with the story..."

----------

Around two months later, in late June, Jessica and I became official. We had spent the preceding weeks calling each other back and forth, visiting each others' houses every couple of days, and growing very close very fast.

We had agreed not to let things go too fast after that first night. That meant no more kissing, no more cuddling, and just basically hanging out as friends for a while. But I was completely okay with that. I just loved being around Jessica.

It all happened one dreary afternoon when we were walking around on the streets in town. It started to rain, so we took cover in a random coffee shop.

"You want anything?" I asked, leading Jessica to the counter.

"Yeah, I'll have a cup, black," she nodded toward the cashier while beginning to dig for her wallet.

"No, it's on me," I reached out my hand to stop her from digging.

She smiled and pulled her hand out of her purse. "Thanks."

After I ordered my drink and paid, we walked over to sit at a small love seat in the corner. Jessica sipped on her coffee and I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"What, big tough guy can't take black coffee?" she teased.

I shook my head and sipped my drink before setting it down on a nearby end table. "You know, Jess, I've been thinking all day, and I think that maybe it's possible time we..."

I stared off for a moment or two, trying to get the words out.

"Make this official?" she finished my sentence for me.

I smirked nervously and nodded. "I guess what I mean is," I reached over and took her hand, "Jessica Rose, will you be my girlfriend?"

She tried to hide an obvious smile. Setting down her coffee, she sat upright and scooted closer to me. "Under one condition."

"And what's that?"

"You have to kiss me, for real this time."

I grinned even bigger than I already was. Feeling my heartbeat speed up, I turned toward her, placed my hands on either side of her face, and pressed our lips together.

~

Around August of that year we announced to our fans that we had a new album in the works. We were actually nearly done with it at that point. Tony, Mike, Vic, and I had been extremely busy in the studio throughout the summer. I liked to help produce the music, so I was the busiest - besides Vic, that is.

Vic was always one of those people who just had to have his alone time. We actually got pretty worried about him sometimes. He'd lock himself in the back room of the studio for days at a time. Sometimes we'd hear him recording vocal tracks, sometimes he'd be having a panic attack and throwing things all over the room, while sometimes we'd hear nothing at all.

He told us not to worry, that he was just having anxiety about getting the album done perfectly and on time. But I couldn't help worrying. He was my best friend, and I feared that this was something he wasn't telling me.

Nonetheless, I would try my best to ignore it. I spent a lot of time with Jessica. She'd wait on me in the studio, bringing me food, giving me back rubs, or just keeping me company. We complimented each other perfectly.

When the school year started up again, I was bummed. I'd usually be alone at the studio - aside from Vic hiding away in the back room - as Tony and Mike were done recording. They'd come visit once in a while, though. They would bring lunch and hang around, telling me their opinions on the tracks I was mixing.

What I really looked forward to was four o'clock in the afternoon when Jessica would come and pick me up on her way home from teaching. We'd hang out at her house for a couple of hours before she would drive me home. It was nice to still have a bit of time with each other.

The holidays came and went, filled with drunken nights and fun gifts. I discovered my amazing skills at the yo-yo. I became sort of addicted, and it was kind of funny how every time I'd break one, there would be a new one hiding somewhere in my apartment with a love note attached to it.

~

Fast forward to June of that year. We released our album, which received a positive reaction from the fans. Four days later, we left home to spend a couple of weeks on Warped Tour.

"Who will watch over my apartment while I'm gone?" I pouted.

I was sitting on the couch in the RV, Jessica straddling me with her forehead pressed to mine. She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Not me," she joked.

I jutted out my bottom lip and she giggled, stealing a kiss from my lips. "I'm going to miss you," she whispered.

"I'll be back soon, promise," I reassured her.

"Yeah, but then you're going to Australia a month later and Japan a month after that. You don't really get another break until next May."

I frowned, once again reminded of the thought. I loved touring and playing shows but I knew that I would miss Jessica while on tour.

Jessica pressed our lips together again, and we sat kissing for longer than I'd care to remember. But it wasn't too long before the rest of the band and crew began piling into the RV.

"Get a room!" Casey shouted. I pulled away from the kiss and stuck my tongue out at him, holding up a middle finger.

"That's enough, guys," Vic said, standing over Jessica and I.

"You jealous, Vic?" Jessica teased.

Vic crossed his arms and frowned. "We need to get going," his tone became more serious.

Jessica rolled her eyes and stood up off of me. The two never really got along.

"I've got to get to soccer practice anyways," she sighed, "bye baby, I love you." She leaned down and pecked my lips once more before stepping out of the RV.

"Way to ruin the mood, asshole," I whined.

Vic smirked and stood closer to me. "You guys are disgusting," he said, emphasis on the 'disgusting.'

I rolled my eyes and kicked him in the crotch. His face went pale and he dropped to his knees in pain. I just stood up and stepped over him, laughing to myself.

"Jerk," I said as I reached into the cooler to grab a beer.