Troublemakers

I couldn't sleep. My head was reeling, my stomach churning with guilt. I couldn't believe she figured it out, were Louis and I that transparent? It's not like the two of us could stand the site of each other outside of the bedroom.

The bottom line was Eleanor knew.

I picked up my cell phone and slid through my contacts.

To: Twat-waffle.

She told me she knows, Lou.

I pressed send before I could talk myself out of talking to him about it. I didn't want to know how he felt about the situation, but something told me that we needed to discuss it. I rolled over, shuffling my pillow around so I could snuggle my upper body into it. I didn't understand how I allowed myself to jump back into his arms when I knew he had a girlfriend. The first time was okay, because I had no idea, but the second time was inexcusable.

I couldn't stop thinking about the time my long term boyfriend in high school cheated on me during my senior year. I remembered when I walked in on him and my best friend at my father's cabin the summer we were going to graduate. The memory was like a dagger to my mind. We had dreams of running off to UCLA and soaking up the California sun together. We were going to get married and have two rugrats of our own in a two story house with a big backyard. We had everything mapped out, or so I thought. It turned out that he had made the exact same plans with my best friend Rachel, and she won. They're currently living in southern California with a baby boy and twins on the way. I get sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

Nothing will ever compare to the devastation I felt upon stumbling across the two of them wrapped in each other's arms, and now here I am practically being those two people that I hate so much. I am the other woman. I could possible ruin Louis and Eleanor's relationship. I felt like I was going to throw up.

From: Twat-waffle

She just fell asleep, I'm coming over. We need to talk.

And then the guilt became too much. I dropped my phone down onto the pillow and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom, throwing up what little I had ate into the toilet. I leaned my head against the cool porcelain trying to calm myself down. The anxiety of the situation was eating me up inside and I really didn't want to have the discussion Louis and I were going to have.

When I was sure I wasn't going to start dry heaving I stood up and brushed my teeth, my eyes skimming over the dark circles under my eyes briefly. I grimaced at my reflection before spitting the toothpaste into the sink.

The fancy espresso machine in the kitchen was calling my name. I had the sinking feeling that my night was just getting started, so caffeine was going to be the only way I made it through. That or a martini.

When my cup was filled with warm liquid I curled up onto the couch with it and turned on the television. I didn't really pay the flickering screen any attention, but the sound of the people's chattering comforted me. I sipped on my latte and let my mind wander while I waited for Lou's impending arrival.

I thought about my mother and what she would say if I told her of the situation I had gotten myself into. I could practically hear her scolding me for being so careless. She would tell me that I should have put Eleanor's feelings above my own lust, but she would tell me some story about a time when she was younger to make me feel better. I smiled to myself, my heart feeling empty without her hear for me to rest my head in her lap. I knew she would comb my hair away from my forehead with her fingers while she talked. It was something she had done since I was a baby. She would understand when I told her I couldn't control myself around Louis, because she can't control herself around my father to this day.

The soft knocking sound of bone on metal pulled me away from my mind. I set my cup down on the end table and made my way over to the door. With a simple clicking sound, it was unlocked and I was swinging it open. Lou stood there in sweat pants and a black hoodie, the hood pulled up to hide his face, an unsure look across his features. He still managed to make me think dirty thoughts and I couldn't even see an inch of his skin.

I motioned for him to come in and he obliged, slipping his shoes off of his feet as I shut the door behind him. He must have seen the cup of espresso on the end table, because he asked me to make him one as well.

"Sugar?" I mumbled, my eyes trained to the floor.

"Black." He responded.

I fiddled with the machine a small smile sliding across my lips when I realized this was as civil as the two of us have ever been towards one another.

"Thanks." He sighed, taking the cup from my hands. I nodded, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and picking up my own cup.

We sat in awkward silence, both of us not knowing what to say. I bit my bottom lip and looked at him out if the corner of my eye. He was fiddling with the handle on his mug and shuffling his feet. I sighed, setting my cup down and turning to face him.

"I should have made you leave that night. I should have never let you seduce me again. I knew about Eleanor then, but you just make me forget about all of my morals." I could feel my cheeks flush and I mentally scolded myself.

"You don't have to apologize Tori." He chuckled. "I'm the one to blame here."

I bit on my lip and nodded my head. "I think we both know what needs to be said."

He nodded and looked at me with a sadness I hadn't seen in his eyes since the first night we tangled in the sheets. "We can't stand each other Lou, so no more random sex. You love her and you need to fix things."

"I never meant to have sex with you to begin with, something just takes over me." He sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"Apologize to her, explain to her how much you dislike me, and tell her it will never happen again. I refuse to be the reason you two fall apart. I won't be Rachel."

"Who is Rachel?" He quipped, his eyebrows furrowing as he turned to look at me.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "No one."

He studied my face for what felt like forever before he pressed his hand to my cheek. My skin tingled from his touch and my first instinct was to press my flesh into his palm, but my conscious made me pull away. "I don't understand why I want you so much."

"Ditto." I whispered.

He bit his lip in concentration and we looked in each others eyes for a small stolen moment before he stood. "I'll talk to her. I'm glad you understand"

I laughed lowly and took our mugs into my hands before standing with him. "You know the way out."

"Yeah." He watched me walk into the kitchen, his eyes burning into my back. I rinsed the cups out and willed myself not to look at him for fear of what I would do. I listened to his silent footsteps across the room and when he slipped on his shoes he muttered a soft goodbye.

"Be careful, yeah?" I asked his retreating figure.

His back stiffened, his hand stopping before the handle of the door. He turned to face me, shocked. "Of course."

It occurred to me then that he didn't think that any part of me cared for him, and I guess until that moment I didn't really think I did either. He had only ever been rude to me, so I had just been rude back. That night he had been almost nice to me though. Things were changing between us in more than one way and when he left I knew that he understood that as well.