Stupid Boy

Zayn learned that guilt was a funny thing. There were days he didn't think about Becky at all, and he was just fine. Other days, he’d hear a song, or see something that reminded him of Becky and he felt guilt down to his core. He was filled with guilt and regret. He ruined it with Becky when he stopped calling, texting, and talking to her completely. He promised her the night before X Factor-when he’d asked her to give up her dreams for him- that nothing was going to change. He said he’d always be there for her, but he was never there.

Seeing Becky at the pub had taken him completely by surprise. He figured that after they broke up she’d taken off to California. He never expected that she’d still be in England, let alone the same city he lived in now. “I think I’m going to find her,” he announced to his four band mates as they sat in the back of on SUV on their way to an appearance.

“Why would you do that?” Harry piped up from the back row. “She hates you, mate. Like, she literally hates you. Probably never wants-“

“Harry, shut the fuck up,” Zayn snapped.

“He has a point,” Liam said, almost afraid of Zayn’s reaction. “She ran away when she saw you. I don’t think that bodes well for you.”

Zayn sighed softly, running his hands over his face. “I’m going to find her,” he concluded.

Across town, Becky was trying to gather her thoughts. Meghan sat up in bed beside her, listening to her best friend go on and on about Zayn. “I don’t think I wanted to see him,” Becky was thinking out loud as she spoke, not even caring if Meghan was actually listening or not. “No, I didn’t. I never wanted to see him again, but now I think I do. No, I definitely do.”

Meghan couldn’t help but laugh, making Becky whip her head around. “Why are you laughing?” she demanded.

“Do you know how ridiculous you sound? ‘I never wanted to see him again, but now I think I do. No, I definitely do,’” Meghan mocked, her voice high pitched, sending Becky into a fit of giggles. “I know you hate him, but I know you’re still in love with him, too,” Meghan gave her best friend a serious look.

“Maybe I am,” Becky shrugged.

“No maybes about it, Beck. You’re still in love with him. How could you not be?”

“Because he broke every promise he ever made me,” Becky whispered. “His promise to not break his promise, to stay with me, that we’d never change. He broke all of them, Meghan.”

“He kind of had to,” Meghan gently reminded her best friend. “His life was changing, so drastically. It didn't mean he didn't want to be with you, or keep those promises. I don’t think he could keep them, honestly. It doesn't mean he didn't love you- doesn't love you.”

“I ran away when I saw him.” The memory made Becky laugh. She was laughing so hard she fell over onto Meghan. “ I've never ran so fast in my life. Oh, my God, Meghan.”

Becky was laughing so hard at this point that tears were streaming down her face. Meghan was laughing, too, but only at Becky. “Are you still drunk?”

“I might be,” Becky giggled, wiping her cheeks with her sleeve. “You think I could find him?”

“I don’t see why you couldn't. There are only so many places in London he could be. Besides, you know his family.”

“I’m not trying to stalk him, Meg,” Becky muttered.

“You’re really going to do this, huh? Finally get some closure?”

“Closure,” Becky nodded. “That’s what I need.”