Just Break Me
Something that Cannot be Described
It's on the television. It's on the radio. It leaves the lips of those who surround you. It's in your head. Words that you think you've misunderstood. Words you hope you heard wrong. Something tragic, something so unreal. Something that words can't explain. A burning sensation fills your stomach. Your heart drops. Your lungs feel as if they will collapse. Your eyes fill with fear, with pain, with hatred, with tears. You scratch your head. You think it's just a rumor.
A mother hears news of her first child's death. She's confused. My daughter, she's safe in school. They must have the wrong home. She keeps herself in denial. It hits her, her baby's not breathing. Her little girl won't hug her any longer. She won't beg for that kiss goodnight. That tiny person who she gave birth to won't ask what's for dinner. Her footsteps won't be heard walking around the house, barefoot and searching for her mother.
A father drops to his knees. My son? This can't be happening. No one would hurt a child. No one would hurt my son! Tears escape his swollen eyes. Thoughts of how he could have been there more enter his head. Violent thoughts aimed toward who took his baby's life drive his saddened tears to angry ones. His head feels bigger. He starts falling to his side, letting himself go, not giving a care in the world what happens to him anymore. His priority is gone. His son will not be running into his arms like he would every day after school. His heart beats faster and faster until he screams his son's name. He refuses help, asking for God to take his life.
A sister comes home from school. Tears escaping the eyes of everyone in the living room. They look at her, stuttering over every breath they take. She stands beside her mother, asking what it is that has happened. Her head goes to every possible scenario except one. M-my little brother? I-I don't believe it. Not my brother. My little brother, the one who drives me crazy? The one I fight with everyday? No, not my brother. No one would hurt my brother. No one would do such a thing. No! Not my brother! She rips off her clothes, falling to the ground and pulling on her hair. She tries to hurt herself, screaming and screaming, hoping she can be awakened from this nightmare. Where did she go wrong? Was she not there enough? Should she have listened more? She blames herself, knowing that she would never forgive herself.
A brother skips through channels, looking for something to entertain him. He stops on the news, trying to listen over his mother's screaming voice. My sister? She's not dead, mom. She's at work. His mother screams his way, he looks at the news. My baby sister? No, no, no one would do that to my sister. No one in their right mind would hurt my sister. My sister, the crazy, funny, annoying angel. She's -... Nothing else leaves his lips. He stares at the picture frame on the wall, tears freezing on his face. He mumbles words he can't make out to himself. His mother drops to his feet. He wonders why someone would do such a thing to such a young lady. He thinks about the things he would do to the man who did that to her. He asks himself why it happened to his sister.
A friend receives a call. Tragic news enter his ears. He smashes his phone on the ground, screaming and punching the wall beside him. His good friend? His best friend. The person he went to for everything. The person he wrestled with. The person he considered his brother. That person has lost his breath. And this friend cannot stop the tears. He can't stop the pain he feels. It's worse than a fracture, it's worse than a stab to the heart. It's a pain that doesn't stop. It never stops. It never will.
A girl who cries for them all. She cries for the parents, for the children, for the family, for the friends, for the neighbors, for the co-workers, for that person who won't be able to see them ever again, she cries. And she let's them know one thing; hope. There is hope. All of these evil, disgusting, unexpected tragedies will never take place someday. And you will see that person you love and cherish and miss and want by you again. And you won't have to worry about them leaving your side any longer. Only tears of joy will escape your eyes. That mother will hug her baby girl again. She'll make her cookies and give her kisses. That father will squeeze his son until he's satisfied. He'll play ball with him until they're exhausted. That sister will annoy her brother once more. She'll tell him how much she loves him and missed him and they will run through fields together.
That brother will hold his sister in his arms and be sure that no one will hurt her ever again. He'll hug her, swing her around, tell her how much he missed her and forget about the past. He'll treat her like a baby and she'll remind him that she's all grown up. That friend will someday be with his best bud. They'll arm wrestle, hug, tell each other stories, and be there for each other once more. The pain you feel inside will be wiped away because when that day comes, you can be sure God keeps a smile on your face.
A mother hears news of her first child's death. She's confused. My daughter, she's safe in school. They must have the wrong home. She keeps herself in denial. It hits her, her baby's not breathing. Her little girl won't hug her any longer. She won't beg for that kiss goodnight. That tiny person who she gave birth to won't ask what's for dinner. Her footsteps won't be heard walking around the house, barefoot and searching for her mother.
A father drops to his knees. My son? This can't be happening. No one would hurt a child. No one would hurt my son! Tears escape his swollen eyes. Thoughts of how he could have been there more enter his head. Violent thoughts aimed toward who took his baby's life drive his saddened tears to angry ones. His head feels bigger. He starts falling to his side, letting himself go, not giving a care in the world what happens to him anymore. His priority is gone. His son will not be running into his arms like he would every day after school. His heart beats faster and faster until he screams his son's name. He refuses help, asking for God to take his life.
A sister comes home from school. Tears escaping the eyes of everyone in the living room. They look at her, stuttering over every breath they take. She stands beside her mother, asking what it is that has happened. Her head goes to every possible scenario except one. M-my little brother? I-I don't believe it. Not my brother. My little brother, the one who drives me crazy? The one I fight with everyday? No, not my brother. No one would hurt my brother. No one would do such a thing. No! Not my brother! She rips off her clothes, falling to the ground and pulling on her hair. She tries to hurt herself, screaming and screaming, hoping she can be awakened from this nightmare. Where did she go wrong? Was she not there enough? Should she have listened more? She blames herself, knowing that she would never forgive herself.
A brother skips through channels, looking for something to entertain him. He stops on the news, trying to listen over his mother's screaming voice. My sister? She's not dead, mom. She's at work. His mother screams his way, he looks at the news. My baby sister? No, no, no one would do that to my sister. No one in their right mind would hurt my sister. My sister, the crazy, funny, annoying angel. She's -... Nothing else leaves his lips. He stares at the picture frame on the wall, tears freezing on his face. He mumbles words he can't make out to himself. His mother drops to his feet. He wonders why someone would do such a thing to such a young lady. He thinks about the things he would do to the man who did that to her. He asks himself why it happened to his sister.
A friend receives a call. Tragic news enter his ears. He smashes his phone on the ground, screaming and punching the wall beside him. His good friend? His best friend. The person he went to for everything. The person he wrestled with. The person he considered his brother. That person has lost his breath. And this friend cannot stop the tears. He can't stop the pain he feels. It's worse than a fracture, it's worse than a stab to the heart. It's a pain that doesn't stop. It never stops. It never will.
A girl who cries for them all. She cries for the parents, for the children, for the family, for the friends, for the neighbors, for the co-workers, for that person who won't be able to see them ever again, she cries. And she let's them know one thing; hope. There is hope. All of these evil, disgusting, unexpected tragedies will never take place someday. And you will see that person you love and cherish and miss and want by you again. And you won't have to worry about them leaving your side any longer. Only tears of joy will escape your eyes. That mother will hug her baby girl again. She'll make her cookies and give her kisses. That father will squeeze his son until he's satisfied. He'll play ball with him until they're exhausted. That sister will annoy her brother once more. She'll tell him how much she loves him and missed him and they will run through fields together.
That brother will hold his sister in his arms and be sure that no one will hurt her ever again. He'll hug her, swing her around, tell her how much he missed her and forget about the past. He'll treat her like a baby and she'll remind him that she's all grown up. That friend will someday be with his best bud. They'll arm wrestle, hug, tell each other stories, and be there for each other once more. The pain you feel inside will be wiped away because when that day comes, you can be sure God keeps a smile on your face.
♠ ♠ ♠
This is dedicated to everyone. Not just for those who lost lives in the Newtown school shooting. But for everyone who's ever lost someone, ever felt sorrow for someone who's life has been lost.