My W Unit

I got done with all the check-ups and the lull of ship life continued. But routines are easily broken when a ship is filled with tension. Even Myrra was picking up on her crews unrest with each other to the point that one day Krynos asked me if everything was okay. I said we'd get over it, I just didn't know it would be a huge yelling fest. The huge fight between me and the pack happened three days before the ship's first full moon. The pack's wolves were already beginning to surface, add distrust and suspicion to the mix and you have a receipt for a melt down.
I got into a stupid fight with Jasper in one of the hallways. I think it was over how I got an office, a bedroom, and an infirmary while the pack barely got anything to call their own. To be honest I don't really remember those insignificant details. They were mere catalysts for what was bubbling underneath and caused everything to explode. Jasper and Trina began yelling at me yet again about how they couldn't trust me.
"You hide everything! You want us to trust you, welcome you, yet you have so many fucking walls up that we can't read you!" Jasper spat out.
"Welcome to being human!" I shouted back. "That's how most of the worlds function."
"Don't pull that card on us." Trina growled. "Remember we aren't 'human' anymore."
"I never believed that." -Me
"Bullshit, you're just like everyone else." -Jasper
"If I was like everyone else, would I have spent over three fucken weeks computerizing your gods damn medical records again? No! I wouldn't have wasted my time." -Me
Trina scoffed, "Oh yes, be the martyr in this. Oh woe is you." By now more people had gathered to watch this spectacle unfold.
"Oh woe is me? What are you talking about?" -Me
"It's all an act." Trina purred as she leaned in with snarling lips. "You act like you don't care, when in reality all you want is attention. You act different so you can be in the lime light. How typical of a reg."
"You know nothing about me." I snapped.
"You're right." Jasper jabbed. "You are this huge fucking mystery, while you know every gods damn thing about us. Come on Rai or should I say Selena, tell us all about you. Fair is fair." A murmur rippled around us as the circle closed in; I was getting claustrophobic.

~~3rd POV~~

"Alpha Zane." Krynos called to him over Myrra's com system.
He was working out in the gym and stopped mid curl to find out why the ship's pilot had interrupted him. "Yes, Krynos?"
"A solar argument has broken out between Miss Rai and some of your pack. It is distressing Myrra and she requests that you stop it."
"Where are they?" He got up and headed out the door.
"F1 corridor 14. Please hurry."

~~Rai's POV~~

"Tell us Rai."
"Come on, just tell us."
"It won't be that bad."
"What are you too good to tell us?"
I finally flipped and yelled, "SHUT UP!" I saw red as I growled back, "You wouldn't understand."
"Why because we're wolves? Because we aren't human?" -Trina
"No." I barked, "This has nothing to do with you being wolves. And for the last time, I fucken believe you are humans and people."
"Yeah, sure." Jasper replied sarcastically. "Then why wouldn't we understand, hmm?"
My jaw clenched as I replied, "You just wouldn't..."
"Rai?" Deklyn trotted over confused and unhappy with the atmosphere. "What's going on?"
"Oh look, your little lap dog. Let me guess he would understand right?" Deklyn gave a confused face as Jasper slung an arm over his shoulder. "So Dek, why's Rai so secretive? What's her secret?"
"I don't know, but even if I did I wouldn't tell you." He glared back at his pack mate.
"What a load of bullshit. She tells you everything, you're probably fuck buddies."
"Shut the fuck up!" I stalked slowly over to Jasper. "First off, this has nothing to do with him. He is my friend and partner, nothing else. Second, no he doesn't fucking know because he wouldn't understand either. None of you do."
"Why's that?" Trina growled.
"For gods and goddesses sake, because you're not alone! All of you! I've seen every single file on the entire pack and you aren't alone!" Some opened their mouths to object, but I cut them off, "No! I get some of you had families that disowned you, that society scorns you, and some of you fucked up so bad before you got bitten that the only way to straighten out your life was to become a turned. I get that, but you aren't alone. You have Your pack. You have people to come back to, you have people you can depend on, people you can trust, people you are connected to even when you're separated from them. Please tell me, who the fuck do I have?" Everyone was silent and remained so until I started speaking again. "Exactly. You want to know me fucken past, well her the fuck it is. Until the age of 11, all I had was my brother Jay. He was my father, my mother, and my sibling. He was the one to go to school events, sport events, and discipline me when I did something stupid. However, he was seven years older than me and once he turned 18 he joined the W Unit where he proceeded to meet Zane. Yes, I knew who Zane was, but I only met him once.
"After Jay left, I was on my own. My sister ran away from home and I haven't seen her since I was 13, not that I ever did see her when she lived under my parent's roof. My parents were too busy being the universes greatest scientist to even know I existed. I had no friends because even at a young age I believed wolves were people and I got shunned. I was alone. When I was 15, I became a certified mech, and at 16, I became a doctor. Two days after my graduation I was disowned and divorced from my family, saw my brother once before he disappeared for a year. Next time I saw him, he was dead.
"Since then, I worked as a W doctor and got a wonderful fucking rep as a wolf lover where everyone hated and I went home every night to an empty flat. You got to go back to the barracks where your pack was, whereas I went home to no one. So please tell me, why the fuck shouldn't I have these 'walls' up? Everyone, save two people, I have ever known has left me. What makes you so fucken special that I should lower my guard so you can 'sense' my emotions? If your so adamant on being thought of as a person, then stop relying so heavily on the smell aspect of being a wolf and actually get to know someone." The pack was shocked silent at my out burst and some twitched at the sudden on slaughter of strong emotions I was emitting. "I don't trust anyone, and you," I swept my finger over the pack, "Haven't exactly given me a fucken reason to change that."
There was hurt in Deklyn's voice as he whispered, "What about me?"
I thought of him as a friend, but at this point he wasn't one I could express everything to. I looked and replied, "You're the closest, but..." I've been through to much and been casted aside for too often to trust you.
"You fear trusting others." My eyes snapped up to see Zane walking towards me. I felt something wet slide down my cheek and I lifted land to wipe it; a tear. My invisible, reenforced walls crumbled and for the first time in a long time, I felt exposed and utterly vulnerable. Without looking back, I turned and fled; I couldn't breathe.