My W Unit

"Cal!" Kat called as she stared at her computer screen that glowed in the dark room.
"Yes?" Cal asked as he walked in. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?" He flipped the switch, illuminating the study.
"I think... I think I found something." Kat's voice was barely above a whisper as she trained her eyes on a particular folder. Calum quickly hurried to his wife's side and peered over her shoulder.
"Experiment 1043: Theta Jayce Night." Calum read aloud. His eyes slipped from the screen to his wife. "You think this is Rai's secret?"
Kat didn't respond right away. She tapped her foot thinking over everything. "I think it is. I had to click into five folders in order to unearth this." Neither spouse moved right away.
Finally Calum asked, "Are you sure you want to look in it? This will be like Pandora's Box. Once opened, it'll be almost impossible to stop."
"I know..." Kat trailed off, hesitant to know. "Whatever is in this folder really screwed up Ally-Rai... She should not have to carry that burden alone."
"But maybe it is for her to carry and not you." Calum whispered gently. "I will support you in either choice."
Kat took a deep breath, "I must know what happened to my brother." Kat double tapped the folder where over 200 videos loaded, waiting patiently to be played. Kat tapped the first video, then the next. Two hours later she watched in horror as her brother slowly showed signs of going insane.

~~Rai's POV~~~
"This is bullshit!" I yelled.
"Bullshit or not, it's an order." Zane replied sternly.
"You can't do this!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"I can and I will. I am your Alpha Rai, and I am putting you on 'leave' for the rest of the trip back to Central Prime."
"Just because you're an Alpha doesn't mean you outrank me!" I knew I had a weak argument, not only was Alpha on parr with my rank, Zane had also had a few more experience than me.
He merely kept looking at me and said in a firm voice, "You are stepping down from being doctor on this ship until we return back to base. I am going to talk to Dr. Samara and hopefully she will be your substitute for the time being. You've been through a great ordeal, you need to take it easy and come to terms with it."
"I'm fine!" Huge lie that was and everyone listening knew it.
"What happened last night says otherwise." Zane calmly shot back. After I passed out, Zane took me to the Den and everyone slept there together. I knew that I really had to have snapped in order for the pack to allow me to sleep in their sacred place.
"Fine, I know I'm a bit messed up right now," Zane raised a brow, but I ignored it, "But you can't take my job away from me." It was the only thing that kept me from thinking back to what happened.
"I can and will. You've been under a lot of stress and still are, one less thing will help."
"No it won't!" I growled back. "Just because you're the Alpha doesn't mean you know best! You know nothing!"
"Aleara-Rain Enough!" Zane's eyes glowed silver as he used his deep commanding Alpha tone on me. I flinched minorly for he never used it one me, but I stood my ground. "You are officially on 'leave' and are not allowed to doing anything doctor esque unless in a dire situation. Understand?" I didn't reply at first as I glared at him. "Do You Understand?" He asked more forcefully this time.
Begrudgingly I replied. "Yes."
"Good."
"Whatever." I spun on my heels and marched off, in no mood to be polite. Realistically I knew what he was doing was for my benefit; he wanted me to get better. He was doing exactly what I would do if I were in his shoes with someone as fucked up as me, but it still pissed me off. Without having my doctor duties to keep me busy, I would have hours on end to just think about everything. Eventually I would find him and apologize for my behavior, he was the one who calmed me down, but right now it was impossible. I just wanted to scream, to thrash, to destroy something. Not exactly an attitude you want to have when being in the same room as a wolf. So I just ran, ran down the corridors, down the stairs, and into the forest.
I knew I wasn't alone as I twisted and turned through the small maze that was Myrra's forest. I didn't turn to look as I heard paws pound on the ground just behind me. I didn't cry out when I tripped and fell, just got back up and continued on. Didn't hesitate when I came to a small cliff, just ran until my legs finally gave out and I crumpled to my knees. I was on my hands and knees as I silently cried. A whine came from both sides of me and I whispered, "Why did this have to happen? I finally... finally was able to move forward and then this happened. I can't so much as blink without seeing Jay or Marco. I look in mirrors and I'm not alone." A large pink tongue licked at my cheek as whines escaped my two companions. "I understand why Zane is doing what he is doing, but now I have nothing to distract me from my waking nightmares." I finally sat back on my heels, keeping my head down. Deklyn's wolf whined again and rubbed my shoulder.
Killian had shifted back to his human form and asked, "Why don't you talk to Zane about what happened?"
"I can't." I whispered.
"Rai, you need-"
"I literally can't. No one, and I mean no one is suppose to know about the events of that day. The only reason I can pull the shit I do and am left mostly alone is because I have an agreement with the Council. The events of that day could cause a total melt down and up rising if ever leaked."
"You have evidence?" Killian's voice gave way to surprise.
"Yes and no one knows about it. I can't tell anyone, not that I'm especially eager to."
"Everyone has a right to know about what the government was doing."
I shook my head, "I will suffer through this if it means no other wolf has to go through what Jay did."
I could hear the sadness in his voice, "I don't know how you do it Rai."
"I just do. People carry unspeakable burdens everyday, this is nothing special."
"Yet it may cause you to become just as insane as Jay."
"Maybe, but at least everyone else is okay."
"Rai, do you really think the pack will be okay if you don't come back from this?" Deklyn was suddenly crouched next to me with his blue eyes filled with sad watery emotions.
"You'll be able to move on. You'll have your pack, I'm just another reg you had to deal with." I stood up and turned towards the tail of the ship.
"Do you really believe that?" Deklyn looked at me in disbelief. I shrugged and began to run towards the exit of the forest. I had to believe that I was no one special because if I was then they were special to me and I can't have that. Holding people dear hurt too much.
Once I reached my room, I shut the door and looked it over. I should really thank whoever cleaned up for me, maybe bake them a cake or something. I walked over to where my tablet sat on my desk and woke it up. Linking Park started play through its external speakers as I opened one of my drawers that held a photo album.

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things in mind
(Inside of me)
But all that they can see the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Chorus]
I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve felt so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way, everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

[Repeat Chorus]

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

[Repeat Chorus]

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

I stopped crying a while ago, but emotions still welled up inside me. I came upon a particular photo of Jay that made my heart clench. I quietly whispered, "Jay" before closing the album and falling on my side and falling asleep.