No Holding Back

The boys came home from school and he gave them the information. His youngest, Cameron, whined to him and almost looked like he wanted to cry. Caelan, the oldest of the boys, was not pleased and stomped up the stairs, into his room, and slammed the door. The only level headed one was Carson, his middle son.

“Can we visit?” Carson asked.

“Perhaps,” Danny hated letting his sons down, “I get the schedule tomorrow, so we can plan a few things out then.”

“Okay,” the teenager wasn’t thrilled, “Does Mom know?”

Danny nodded, “I told her first so that we could talk about you guys. I want you all to know that I’m just a phone call away. We can email, talk, Skype, whatever,” he paused, “You boys are my first priority, and I don’t want to go but I need to play. I’m not young like Sean or the others who can stay in shape by just going to camps and that; I need to play to keep my body up and running.”

The front door opened and Danny heard Caelan run down the stairs.

“Whoa there Cowboy,” Danny heard Lorelei’s sweet voice, “Take it your dad told you?”

Danny didn’t hear his son’s response but he heard his other boys run to the door too. Danny knew that Caelan would probably call or text her, he knew that she was someone he felt comfortable talking with about his problems.

Danny walked to the living room and saw her leading the boys to the couch. She sat in a chair while the three took seats on the couch, “It isn’t fair,” Caelan told her.

She shook her head, “It’s not, but it’s not his fault. You can’t punish your dad because the NHL sucks.”

It was at that moment that Danny knew why he had grown to love her, why he had given her a key, and why leaving was going to be that much harder. She was exactly what he and his sons needed and being the parents they were, he and Sylvie couldn’t give them that all of the time. The boys lived with him and stayed with her when he was on road trips, she didn’t want to be the primary parent in the relationship, something Danny would never understand. It wasn’t as though their three sons were holy terrors, they were usually perfect gentlemen, something he had instilled
in them.

“Lora?” he called her into the other room.

She held up her finger to let him know that she wanted to say one more thing to the boys before leaving them for a couple minutes. “You three are going to be fine without him, you’re old enough to understand what he does and what he needs to do. If you were a few years younger, he wouldn’t dream of leaving you, but you’re teenagers now and you’re perfectly capable of being mature about this and letting him go without a fight. It’s hard enough on him as it is to leave all of you and his home, so take some time to think about this while I talk to your dad, okay,” she said in a stern voice but ended with a sweet smile.

They nodded as she left the room and started to whisper about how she was right.

“What?” Lorelei asked Danny as they walked into the kitchen.

“Caelan call you?” he ask.

“Sent me a text, I was on my way though,” she admitted.

“Why?” he took a step closer to her.

“Because I knew you’d need the help,” she took a step back from him.

Danny closed his eyes, “Merde,” he cursed in French.

“They’ll understand,” she told him, “Give it a day or so.”

“You’re right,” he looked at her, “Everything you said out there was right.”

“I tried,” she smiled.

“I want to talk to you,” he said quietly and moved closer to her.

“Order food,” she reached for the takeout menus, “You boys need your food.”

He swiped the menus from her hand, “Pizza?”

“That’s fine.”

“After we eat, you and I need to talk,” he looked at her after dialing the number.

Lorelei nodded before leaving to go tend to the boys again. She walked back into the living room and heard the boys talking, “I don’t really want to stay at Mom’s the whole time,” Cameron
stated.

“Me either,” Caelan pouted.

Lorelei had to laugh at him because he was the oldest but acted like a big baby a lot of the time. However, when he needed to man up, he was always the best at it. She knew that he would come to terms with the situation first and that he would be there to watch out for his brothers while their dad was away.

“You guys hungry?” she made her presence known.

Cameron nodded, “Sure.”

She sat on the arm of the couch, “Your mom is excited to spend a lot of time with you guys.”

“I don’t like her house,” Carson shook his head.

“Why not?”

He shrugged, “I just don’t.”

“Cars, don’t take this out on your mother either. She really has no say in the matter and she wants to spend time with you,” Lorelei knew that the boys and their mother didn’t have the best relationship in the world, especially since the boys hit their teen years.

“This is bullshit,” Caelan shook his head.

“Hey,” she scolded, “You can talk like that around me but not your parents, remember,” she always let them get away with more because she wasn’t their parent.

“Please guys, don’t make this harder on your father. He told me earlier today and I know he doesn’t want to leave you guys; you boys are everything to him…”

“He’s putting hockey before us,” Cameron was usually pretty wise for his age, something everyone associated with the divorce.

“No,” Lorelei moved to sit between him and Caelan, “No he’s not sweetie,” she put her arm around him, “Your father loves hockey and he loves you. He is doing what he feels is right for everyone and I know you boys don’t understand the business end of hockey, but this is a good lesson for you. He has given you all this great life and he wants to be able to still do that, the money he will make over in Berlin will help maintain that. Also,” she hugged Cameron into her side, “He wants you boys to look up to him. He knows that you guys look to him for guidance and by standing up and showing the NHL that he will go elsewhere to play, he is taking a stand and sending them a message. He’s standing up for himself and the other players, something he wants to teach you boys to do. He doesn’t just want you to look up to him for playing hockey, he wants you to look up to him for his character too,” she knew that Cameron might not understand that completely yet, but the other two might.

Danny had been in the doorway through her entire speech. She had hit it right on the head with the last part. He felt like less of a man because of the divorce. Granted, no one ever put him down about it, they encouraged it after everything was said and done, but he felt like he had been screwed over and had screwed his sons over in the process. Ever since, he had tried to find ways to make it up them and prove that he was a good man. At times, he probably over did it, but deep down he hoped it helped even a little.

Lorelei went to stand but Danny was right at her side. Without thinking, he pulled her into his chest, “You’re right,” his brown eyes searched her face for a reaction.

“I know,” she whispered as her eyes did the same.