Status: If it is triggering please don't read or do anything stupid. I know what its like to struggle and if this story effects you in any way message me.
Drop Dead, Gorgeous.
Hang dead, gorgeous
I sat down on my bed and sighed. No one cared its funny how most people don’t give two shits about me yet I’m always there. It seems like every time I mention that I have a problem they run me to rescue crisis. I was sick of it. I grabbed my razor blade and slashed out on my arm like I did almost every day. Once I realized no one really cared, not even my parents, I realized crying was useless. Nothing no one could do. Today was the last day of school, if I do what I am thinking correctly I will never have to back, ever. Though I might be going to a place where its warm, where all the masochist and sinner live. I had no true friends; little did I know I finally was out of my fantasy world. I’ve been starving myself too; I refuse to let those bastards win. I let out and angry screech as I through the filthy razor blade at the wall, causing it to leave a red mark on the white paint.
I honestly don’t know where it all began; maybe I’m just old enough to be ashamed of myself. I cringe at my past and would do anything to forget it. I was 6, I was so obsessed with knowing what the grown-ups do. I weren’t a little girl down the street who was just as eager as I was. I remember it started with an innocent kiss. Then she grew more eager and we did other things. We knew a lot for 6 years olds, if I might say so myself. Then it was history until it was sixth grade. I got involved with the wrong group of girls and I became notorious. Then it was bullying, from the whole school. Now here I am, in high school and damaged. I was so worn out from life I just couldn’t take it anymore. These little 14 year olds who I claim for them to be my friends try to say they’re engaged. Then they come running to me because they’re depressed. I didn’t know what to do anymore. They didn’t care, so I was done. How many time can I break until I shatter? I wasn’t going to break no more, I refuse.
I bet my life would be way better if I knew how to get a back bone. Maybe I wouldn’t be as depressed or angry. My little plan that most people would consider selfish, I consider it a loving act. If you believe in reincarnation, that is. I’m done feeling this way, feeling like the burden, being the burden. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, I often used to wonder about my future. What’s the use now? It was the 23 of December; I was going to give everyone around me the best Christmas gift. They will love, or hate it, or even learn from it. Basterds, doing the most loving act for them even when they don’t deserve it. I even picked out my outfit and everything. I was going to look pretty while they received my gift. They don’t like it, they can shove it.
It was the day of December 25, Christmas. I stood on the dining room table in my pretty dress. Everybody was in the living room socializing, even my so-called friends were here. I made sure the rope was tightened; I decided not to make it messy. With that I jumped, it hurt a lot. I heard screaming and gasps right before I blacked out. Before I knew it I was watching everyone panicking over my lifeless body. Calling 9-11, I watched one of my friends Austin pick up the note I had left on the table for everyone.
Dear everyone,
I was done, am done. I don’t know how big of a surprise this will be to you, I mean you should have expected it. How many times have I mentioned I wasn’t alright? Merry Christmas from me to you, I love you mom and dad but you couldn’t help me, you never really tried. To my friends from school, I didn’t really like any of you yet I love you, I don’t know why. You never cared, and if you think about crying I’ll come back and make your life like how mine is now. I loved you all so much, so I decided to give you the best Christmas gift, my life. If you believe in God you know where I’m going, If you believe in reincarnation then I might be the baby being born in room 252 at the local hospital, if you’re an Athiest then I am nothing now. We were all pretty much born to die. So I decided to not be a burden and for Christmas I’ve given you less stress. Merry Christmas and happy fucking new years. Learn from your mistakes.
- Summer
I honestly don’t know where it all began; maybe I’m just old enough to be ashamed of myself. I cringe at my past and would do anything to forget it. I was 6, I was so obsessed with knowing what the grown-ups do. I weren’t a little girl down the street who was just as eager as I was. I remember it started with an innocent kiss. Then she grew more eager and we did other things. We knew a lot for 6 years olds, if I might say so myself. Then it was history until it was sixth grade. I got involved with the wrong group of girls and I became notorious. Then it was bullying, from the whole school. Now here I am, in high school and damaged. I was so worn out from life I just couldn’t take it anymore. These little 14 year olds who I claim for them to be my friends try to say they’re engaged. Then they come running to me because they’re depressed. I didn’t know what to do anymore. They didn’t care, so I was done. How many time can I break until I shatter? I wasn’t going to break no more, I refuse.
I bet my life would be way better if I knew how to get a back bone. Maybe I wouldn’t be as depressed or angry. My little plan that most people would consider selfish, I consider it a loving act. If you believe in reincarnation, that is. I’m done feeling this way, feeling like the burden, being the burden. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling, I often used to wonder about my future. What’s the use now? It was the 23 of December; I was going to give everyone around me the best Christmas gift. They will love, or hate it, or even learn from it. Basterds, doing the most loving act for them even when they don’t deserve it. I even picked out my outfit and everything. I was going to look pretty while they received my gift. They don’t like it, they can shove it.
It was the day of December 25, Christmas. I stood on the dining room table in my pretty dress. Everybody was in the living room socializing, even my so-called friends were here. I made sure the rope was tightened; I decided not to make it messy. With that I jumped, it hurt a lot. I heard screaming and gasps right before I blacked out. Before I knew it I was watching everyone panicking over my lifeless body. Calling 9-11, I watched one of my friends Austin pick up the note I had left on the table for everyone.
Dear everyone,
I was done, am done. I don’t know how big of a surprise this will be to you, I mean you should have expected it. How many times have I mentioned I wasn’t alright? Merry Christmas from me to you, I love you mom and dad but you couldn’t help me, you never really tried. To my friends from school, I didn’t really like any of you yet I love you, I don’t know why. You never cared, and if you think about crying I’ll come back and make your life like how mine is now. I loved you all so much, so I decided to give you the best Christmas gift, my life. If you believe in God you know where I’m going, If you believe in reincarnation then I might be the baby being born in room 252 at the local hospital, if you’re an Athiest then I am nothing now. We were all pretty much born to die. So I decided to not be a burden and for Christmas I’ve given you less stress. Merry Christmas and happy fucking new years. Learn from your mistakes.
- Summer
♠ ♠ ♠
Don't read if triggering.