I Am Here

I never expected the boy to come back. But I wouldn’t lie and say I didn’t want him to. My insides were a tornado of butterflies as I waited patiently in the alleyway. I brushed my fingers through my newly combed hair, watching the rays of the sun dance across the window panes before sinking behind the tallest buildings.

Leigh. It was such a nice name. Simple, yet beautiful. Just like his blonde locks and blue eyes. He was almost like an angel.

The air in the city shifted, the temperature dropping almost immediately the moment the sun’s light was gone. It didn’t bother me though. I didn’t feel the cold. I’d lived in the city for much too long. Darkness was settling over the streets like a blanket, lit up very dimly by streetlamps and various colourful stores. Soon the night bugs would skitter out from their hidey-holes and overrun the streets with their alcohol and vomit.

I shuffled deeper into the alleyway, sinking into the shadows. I’d had a run in a long time ago with a man that had hands more grimy than my own. He had stumbled towards me, throwing obscenities that didn’t even make sense in his slurred state. A second later and he was splattered across First and Third.

“Grace!”

The boy’s sudden presence made me jump as I whipped around to face him. A deep laugh rumbled in his chest, his head tilting to the side. I blushed at his intense gaze, waiting for my heart to stop hammering against my rib cage.

“You look different,” Leigh continued.

I tried for a meek smile, but I could feel my body betray me, shying away from the angel in embarrassment. I had combed my wild tangle of hair with a comb I had found as a child until it was as straight as it would ever be. I’d washed my hands and feet, and even my dirty dress in a public bathroom in the middle of the park. Did he notice the scent of flowers I had rubbed into my skin?

“It’s nice,” he smiled. “I can see your face more.”

“Th-thank you,” I replied, unsure of what to say. “You look nice. Too.”

The awkward choppiness of my words had me retreating deeper into my embarrassment, but Leigh’s face only brightened and his smile stretched further. He looked as though he were bubbling with happiness as he then held his hand out.

I looked down at it. At the soft creases in his palm and the fingers that reached out to me. They were only hands, but they looked warm and inviting and I could feel my tiny pale hand slip into his tight grasp before I even realised what I was doing.

“The café across the street is nice. Have you been there?”

I shook my head, hurrying along after Leigh as he tugged me gently after him. The strong aroma of coffee hit my senses the moment I was pulled through the door. A bell rang above, signalling our entrance, but it barely made a dent in the busy rush of waiters and customers.

I’d never been inside a dining room before. Never been in the throng of the jumbled mess that came from eating in a restaurant. I’d merely watched from the windows in wonder. My taste buds longing to know what flavours the delightful aromas of a kitchen made.

Leigh didn’t let go of my hand, his fingers entwined with my own, keeping me close as he weaved through the cluttered collection of tables and chairs. Nobody looked my way. They were all too engrossed in the meaningless chatter, laughing and shrieking as they wolfed down their meals and sipped at their coffees.

“Do you mind if I order for you?” Leigh asked.

I shook my head as he pulled me down onto a seat beside him, my eyes trailing to the outside world. How strange it was to be inside. To be sitting at a table. To be looking out at the very alleyway I had been standing in only moments before.

“It’s so warm inside,” I murmured absently.

A jacket slid over my shoulders and I looked to see Leigh’s small smile. He had mistaken the goose bumps along my arms for a symptom of coldness. But I wasn’t cold. I was never cold. I simply felt excitement at this new world.

“It looks like their kitchen is closed for tonight,” Leigh said apologetically.

That didn’t bother me at all. I wasn’t hungry anyway. I was just enjoying the company of the strange boy who noticed me. My eyes darted towards him in what I hoped was so fleeting that he would never notice, but he was already staring at me, studying me shamelessly.

“Thank you for taking me here,” I commented, turning my eyes back to my alley. “I’ve never been anywhere so nice. Not even when my mama was alive.”

Leigh opened his mouth, before snapping it shut again, probably trying to fish out a condolence of some sort. He thought better of it. Those five little words never helped, even years after your loved one passed away. I’m sorry for your loss. Spare me.

“Well I’m glad I could do this for you,” he said, instead.

I smiled. “Do you come here a lot, Leigh?”

His name felt strange on my tongue as it rolled out of my mouth, but I had wanted to say it. I wanted to personally know the name of a person and have that person know me back. Talking to this boy, with beautiful soft hair and excited blue eyes, was beginning to grow on me. I was beginning to feel comfortable enough to call him… friend.

“I come by every now and then,” he answered with a shrug. “Whenever I have my appointment – oh look! Our chocolate!”

Two mugs of steaming brown liquid were set down on the table in cups that looked strangely like gravy boats. Tentatively, I wrapped my hands around the smooth porcelain, the heat seeping into my skin.

“So tell me about you,” Leigh continued uncertainly. “You live in the city?”

I nodded. I knew what he was asking. He wanted to know why I didn’t have a home. Why I only had one dress and how I could possibly survive. I asked myself the same question every day.

“I’ve lived here all my life,” I replied, watching the swirling marshmallows that floated on my chocolate. “And been alone for most of it. See, my mama died when I was only young and I’ve been on my own ever since.”

Leigh nodded softly, not wanting to force the words out of my mouth and I was grateful to his mercy. This boy, who barely knew me. Who had taken the hand of a girl who lived in an alley and brought her into a café to drink hot chocolate. I knew that I liked him.

He was my first friend.