Time After Time

What happened next was something that Rose couldn't exactly remember later. She remembered she was crying and she remembered she saw so many sad comments and writings and everything—she cried so much she thought she was going to get dry.



There was a lot of controversy as well between fans. Some of them want Young Guns to go on and find new vocalist because, as they argue, Young Guns isn't only consisted of Gustav Wood. But the majority agreed that Young Guns wouldn't be the same Young Guns without Gustav. The latest news that she could find about Young Guns was saying that they decide to be inactive and all the band members are having a break, although there was a rumour that, as the news said, "Wood left England not long after the decision was made".

There were more videos on YouTube.

It was very hard for Rose to believe that the happy, energetic guy who sing and vlog himself on the video was Gustav. The sad Gustav. The one that made her worried just by looking at him. On a lot of non music video, particularly when they vlog themselves, she found a lot of video where Gustav was actually laughing. He smiled a big, wide, happy smile that she never saw before. That view alone brought tears to her eyes.

When the dawn finally came and the dark wrapped the sky, she lied on her bed, exhausted from crying.

Now what are you going to do, Rose? she thought.

She knew. So she picked up her phone and called him. It was 3 pm in the afternoon.

He sounded mostly sleepy and a little angry when he picked up, "… Rose? Why? Why, really, why? I told you I'm going to sleep for the whole day—"

"Gustav?"

"Yeah? Rose…? What's wrong? You sound weird."

She couldn't believe she actually called him. She called Gustav Wood. She called him. He was only less a couple of hundred meters away from her right now, sleeping and he picked up her call.

But if you think about it, you've been with him for a while, don't you? asked a voice inside her head.

And he talked to her—Gustav Wood whom she just saw all over the music video and interview and gig photo and everything—she actually currently was talking to him at this very moment.

"Hey? Rose? Do you catch a flu? We probably shouldn't go bushwalking that long again… well, if this is what it does to you. It sounds bad."

"N-n-no. I-I'm alright. D-do you mind if I come to your place… n-now?"

Here it goes. Of course you'll get nervous again. Now that you know he's Gustav Wood. The Gustav Wood.

"What? No, of course not… really, are you alright? Oh, wait, never mind, don't answer that, just come here. Geez, you sound really… unusual. I hope nothing bad is happened to you."

And that front-man of Young Guns told me to come to his place while I'm one hundred percent sure he's in his bed right now.

"O-okay…"

Rose felt stupid for crying so much when it concerned Gustav. But she couldn't hold back her tears. So she walked to his house with Lestat and knocked at his door. Gustav opened the door almost straight away.

He was standing on white shirt and flannel pants and he looked sleepy. His hair was again a big mess and his eyes were slightly red.

"Whoa! Rose? What happened to you? You just had a fight with your friend or something? You looked like you just cry a lot… a little too much, maybe. What's wrong?"

She didn't answer. She stared at him, tears were flowing down her eyes and she didn't even try to wipe them.

"Rose…" Gustav sighed and wipe the tears from her cheeks. "What is it? I'm really worried. Are you okay? Do you need something?"

It was hard to believe that the man who was currently wiping her tears now was indeed Gustav Wood. It's Gustav Wood of Young Guns. He traveled around the world to sing in front of a lot of people. She couldn't believe now he was in front of her, worried about her and they had been friend for a quite a while. And he was really nice. He was very nice and all her memories of him flowing inside her head; when he looked terribly sad, when he was so surprised when he ate Vegemite, when he told her jokingly that he was a member of royal family… everything.

So she hugged him. Hard. So hard that he exclaimed.

"Ouch! What is it…? Rose? Oh God… calm down, okay? It's alright… I'm here… you can cry as much as you want and tell me later… but I really want to understand why are you crying like this now… Rose?"

Rose pulled back, wiped her own tears and then stared at him. Right after that, she started to cry again. Gustav stared at her and his expression changed.

He didn't say anything as he pulled her back into his arms.

"… so you already know," he whispered, his voice sounded different. It was heavy and tired.

Rose nodded on his chest, sobbing.

Yes. Yes I know. And now I can't believe I am the one who got the chance to cry in your arms when there are plenty people out there who also crying because of your situation. I am too lucky. And you are too kind. This is too good to be true. Everything is too good to be true since you're here.

She was surprised that he didn't sound angry. He hugged her gently, stroking her back and made her cried a little less.

"Oh Rose, why are you crying this much just for me? I don't even cry myself, you see. I'm… okay. Hey… that's alright… I'm okay, see? I'm okay. You don't need to be that sad…"

"But I-I'm… I'm crying for you… because you're the one who sad… and you can't cry yourself, s-so…" she sobbed.

"Ssshhh, ssshhh, it's okay… it's okay. Calm down. I am very happy that you did this for me, but…"

When he hugged her tighter to calm her down, she clung at him like a lost child.

"You don't… need to cry that much for me…" Gustav whispered.

She hugged him tighter.

"Y-you're not gonna go?" Rose asked.

Gustav startled. It was the last question he'd expected in that kind of situation.

"What? Go? Where?"

She sobbed, "I had a friend back in the university… Matthew Chicharo… he was very talented painter. He painted every day and even started to have his painting in some exhibition in local galleries. One day, he broke his hands on a car accident and he was told he would never be able to use those hands properly a-again…" Rose buried her face on Gustav's body, shuddering and still crying.

"Two weeks after that, his friend and I who were worried about him shutting down himself visit his flat. … we… we found h-him… his body…" she sounded really scared. "Since that day, I swear I will never let anyone… b-being… sad…" she started to lose her breath and her voice.

"Ssssh. It's alright. It must be really hard for you, Rose…"

"Gustav, d-don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

She shuddered and stared at him, "P-please don't go…"

"Rose!" he snapped, holding her face with his both hands. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. So don't… don't be that sad, okay? Just… just stop crying… why would you even cry this much for me…?"

Rose was wiping her tears from her eyes before she answered. But she couldn't answer. She was crying again.

It felt as if she was going to cry an endless cry. Whenever she was thinking about him or she feels him, his hands on her back, she wanted to cry more and more. He was happy. So happy. And all that happiness need to stop. Following his lost, he made a lot of people sad as well. Rose herself would be devastated if she knows that her inability to do something actually hurts someone else, let alone a lot of people.

When sun finally came up in the morning and shine through the closed windows on Gustav's living room, she opened up her eyes and she found herself still snuggling him. Gustav was sleeping next to her, one of his hand was on her head and he looked peaceful and lonely at the same time.

She felt weird and uncomfortable.

Rose never cried like that before, but the after effect was worse than hangover. She washed her face and smiled when she saw his bathroom was filled with big-sized bath product. She didn't understand why and she found that really interesting.

"It's because I didn't buy any big bathroom product when I was touring," said a voice from the door.

She was surprised she almost dropped the shampoo bottle.

"G-Gustav! Good morning!"

He was standing at the door. Rose could see it clearly that he needed more sleep but there was something changed in his expression. It was as if something had been lifted. He still looked sad but he stared at her with different stare. There was light smile on his lips and he moved closer to her.

"Good morning, Rose," he chuckled. "You see, when I was touring with the band, we were going to a looot of place and I got really used to small bath product, most of them made by hotel. So when I went here and I saw a bottle of a litre shampoo, I bought them, because I'm staying here and I don't need to keep moving."

Rose was completely shocked. Why did he suddenly decided to open up? And open up real big?

"What?" he said, as if her stare was annoyed him.

She shook her head, "You really are Gustav Wood, aren't you?"

"Well… yes?"

"You really are him… I'm so sorry that I don't know you…"

He laughed and there was something in his laugh. He sounded as he was entertained. "I'm glad that you didn't notice me straight away. I felt like I was reborn… I'm a new Gustav, another Gustav, when I'm with you. Yet, you told me that you'll accept for who I am. And I was afraid you wouldn't like the old Gustav as much as you like the Gustav that you know."

She scoffed, "Aren't you basically one person?"

"Yeah. You're right. You see, Rose, I'm a coward. I don't have the bravery that you have."

"Don't say that," she stared at him. "I think you're still the same perfectionist Gustav Wood who worked really really hard on the band and think that you need to be perfect in every way that you're afraid to destroy things that have existed, for example your image in front of me."

He laughed again. This time, he hugged her.

"I'm so glad I met you," he whispered. "You saved my life."

She felt the urge to cry again. It was really weird. It was like she could cry so much and she could still cry again for him. It means a lot to hear those words from him, because he was so sad since he made a lot of people sad. And it wasn't even his fault to begin with. Rose closed her eyes. She remembered Matthew Chicharo and she was so glad Gustav was stronger than him, because he was still living until now. Then she chuckled as she realized something.

"Gustav… we're in the bathroom."

"… right," he pulled back. "I should hug you on my bedroom or something. It is much more respectable."

Rose stared at him and Gustav stared back. They both smiled awkwardly until they can hear their stomach growled.

"… I think we need to eat breakfast," Rose said, before she bursted into laughter.

He was laughing as well, "We sure do… I'm starving. I can eat a whole kangaroo."

"I just realize that you haven't eat any kangaroo meat, have you?"

"… what? WHAT? Do you people actually sell them in Woolies or something?"

"Yes. Do you have the heart to eat it?"

"Eating kangaroo… I don't think so."

"You just told me that you can eat a whole kangaroo!"

"Well not literally!"

They laughed together as they walked out of the bathroom that filled with big-sized bath product.