Status: Unfinished and won't be updated.
Time After Time
Sixth
Gustav Wood went home a bit late that night.
He walked inside his new house. The rooms were dark and only getting weak dim when he turned on a few lights. He loved his new house to makes him feel like he's about or just going to sleep. It made him feel as he was still dreaming. When he's dreaming, he doesn't need to worry about reality. Because reality can be painful. Too painful, sometimes.
The first thing that came up to his mind after he closed the door was Rose Lette and the fact that that girl was just cried for him. She didn't say that, but anyone can deduce such thing.
He had mixed feeling about this.
When he left, he didn't expect to know someone in Australia. At all. Not even a single friend. But fate made him lived in front of a girl's house, a girl that later told him that he almost always looked so sad. He didn't want to believe that at the beginning. He knew he was sad, but he didn't really wanna talk or think about it more. He felt as if he could avoid his wound, then the wound wouldn't feel too painful.
But that girl…
Gustav couldn't fully understand why she cared so much. Did he looks that sad until the point where she couldn't have any strength to leave him alone and stop thinking about him at all? He was sad. Very sad. But he wouldn't think that anyone else should bear the burden of his sadness. He wouldn't think anyone care.
Now what am I going to do about this?
He had choices. He could either stay here, facing his demon and hoping that one day some kind of miracle would happen and somehow, he would be happy again and everything turns out to be just fine, or he could run away. Again. This is only one part of Australia. He could move somewhere near Perth, thousand kilometres away from here, leaving Rose Lette and her attention to him behind, hopefully forever.
It was a bit funny that he needed to ask himself that kind of question.
He was running away in the first place.
That was why he ended up here.
The right question would be whether he's going to run away from his pain for the rest of his life.
He always hated himself for being so scared and weak. He always hated himself for crying because of his sadness and pain. He closed his eyes, leaning his back to the wall, and sighing, covering his face with his palms. Rose's words ringing in his head.
Because… because it's good to be honest about things, you know? There's no guarantee in life. There's no guarantee I'm still alive tomorrow. I wanna do my best and telling the truth to everyone because I don't know whether I still have the chance to tell them tomorrow.
He chuckled sadly.
If only Gustav Wood could be that brave, then maybe… he stopped thinking. Gustav stood up, decided that the right thing to do might be taking his mind off this matter. He was slightly hungry. He hadn't felt any serious hunger since the day they told him he couldn't sing anymore, but he knew he needed to eat. So he took a can of baked beans and a can of tuna, dragging himself in front of TV, and he turned on the TV.
In the screen that was shining through the dimness of the room, Emeli Sande was singing with a beautiful acoustic melody.
I wanna sing,
I wanna shout,
I wanna scream 'till the words dry out,
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid,
They can read all about it,
Read all about it…
Gustav felt a cold unpleasant rush flowing through his veins.
I wanna sing, I wanna shout…
That night turned to be another night where he hoped he doesn't exist so he doesn't need to feel the extreme aching pain that he currently feels. But that night, he went to bed in a silent. painful agony.
Maybe, just maybe, he had hope for tomorrow.
Maybe there was a possibility that one day he'll sing again.
And having some hopes might be the best thing that you can always count on on the hardest situation on your life.
He walked inside his new house. The rooms were dark and only getting weak dim when he turned on a few lights. He loved his new house to makes him feel like he's about or just going to sleep. It made him feel as he was still dreaming. When he's dreaming, he doesn't need to worry about reality. Because reality can be painful. Too painful, sometimes.
The first thing that came up to his mind after he closed the door was Rose Lette and the fact that that girl was just cried for him. She didn't say that, but anyone can deduce such thing.
He had mixed feeling about this.
When he left, he didn't expect to know someone in Australia. At all. Not even a single friend. But fate made him lived in front of a girl's house, a girl that later told him that he almost always looked so sad. He didn't want to believe that at the beginning. He knew he was sad, but he didn't really wanna talk or think about it more. He felt as if he could avoid his wound, then the wound wouldn't feel too painful.
But that girl…
Gustav couldn't fully understand why she cared so much. Did he looks that sad until the point where she couldn't have any strength to leave him alone and stop thinking about him at all? He was sad. Very sad. But he wouldn't think that anyone else should bear the burden of his sadness. He wouldn't think anyone care.
Now what am I going to do about this?
He had choices. He could either stay here, facing his demon and hoping that one day some kind of miracle would happen and somehow, he would be happy again and everything turns out to be just fine, or he could run away. Again. This is only one part of Australia. He could move somewhere near Perth, thousand kilometres away from here, leaving Rose Lette and her attention to him behind, hopefully forever.
It was a bit funny that he needed to ask himself that kind of question.
He was running away in the first place.
That was why he ended up here.
The right question would be whether he's going to run away from his pain for the rest of his life.
He always hated himself for being so scared and weak. He always hated himself for crying because of his sadness and pain. He closed his eyes, leaning his back to the wall, and sighing, covering his face with his palms. Rose's words ringing in his head.
Because… because it's good to be honest about things, you know? There's no guarantee in life. There's no guarantee I'm still alive tomorrow. I wanna do my best and telling the truth to everyone because I don't know whether I still have the chance to tell them tomorrow.
He chuckled sadly.
If only Gustav Wood could be that brave, then maybe… he stopped thinking. Gustav stood up, decided that the right thing to do might be taking his mind off this matter. He was slightly hungry. He hadn't felt any serious hunger since the day they told him he couldn't sing anymore, but he knew he needed to eat. So he took a can of baked beans and a can of tuna, dragging himself in front of TV, and he turned on the TV.
In the screen that was shining through the dimness of the room, Emeli Sande was singing with a beautiful acoustic melody.
I wanna shout,
I wanna scream 'till the words dry out,
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid,
They can read all about it,
Read all about it…
Gustav felt a cold unpleasant rush flowing through his veins.
That night turned to be another night where he hoped he doesn't exist so he doesn't need to feel the extreme aching pain that he currently feels. But that night, he went to bed in a silent. painful agony.
Maybe, just maybe, he had hope for tomorrow.
Maybe there was a possibility that one day he'll sing again.
And having some hopes might be the best thing that you can always count on on the hardest situation on your life.
♠ ♠ ♠
In case anyone is confused, all the chapters are written from 3rd person perspective. But sometimes I write from Gustav's position (like in Prologue and this chapter, for example) instead of Rose's position. When I'm writing from Rose's position, I will only describe Gustav from the outside, but Rose's from the inside (what does she feels, what kind of sensation that she currently has right now), and vice versa.