Last Years Mistakes

“Lynn will you please just come with?” Brooke whined at me as I kept my eyes focused on the screen as it played the movie New Years Eve.

“I don’t want to Brooke.” I whined back, shoving her arm off my shoulder. I heard her sigh as she fell onto the couch next to me.

“You haven’t been out in months. It’s New Years Eve! Just come out this one night. Please!” She pleaded with me. I stayed silent and continued to watch the movie, ignoring the pout she was sending my way.

“You have to move on eventually Lynn.” She sighed from next to me. My eyes snapped to hers as she looked at me with sympathy. “You broke up with him. You need to move on.”

The water pricked at my eyes as I thought of the boy that I was missing so dearly. Liam had been away three quarters of the year on tour. I had broken up with him three months ago on the phone when I realised that he would be better off without me.

Without me he could meet knew people and date amazing girls, without worrying about me. He wouldn’t have to avoid awkward situation the paparazzi would report. He wouldn’t get hate from our fans or interrogated by interviewers about our relationship. He didn’t have to stay up to ridiculous hours of the night to try and call me for a few lousy minutes.

I broke up with him because I knew without me his life would be a hell of a lot easier. But that didn’t mean mine was. The moment I had hung up from the silence coming from the end of the line after I released those final words, my life had become a mess. I only every left the house to attend the university that was merely a block away.

I never went out, I never did anything. I couldn’t do anything without hearing something about One Direction or Liam. I was too afraid to hear something about how happy he was, or which person he was dating. That would only break me more. So I stayed inside, I was safer here.

“Please. Just tonight and I swear I will never bug you again.” Brooke tried again. I stared at her for a moment before sighing and finally agreeing. If it would keep her off my back for the rest of my life, I guess I could do it.

She cheered loudly and happily before pushing me to my room and getting me ready for some party we had both been invited to by a friend that Brooke would not name.

I allowed her to play dress up with me and in record time I was tightly poured into a black strapless dress with silver heels to pull it off. My long curly hair I had left as it was and my hazel eyes had practically sparkled from the amount of make up Brooke placed around my eyes to make them stand out.

“Let’s go!” She cried out loudly. I sighed and took one look back in the mirror. I looked okay, but I definitely wasn’t okay with this.

-

We got to the too quickly for my own liking. Brooke dragged me inside and almost instantly we were surrounded by people that we both knew.

I was instantly swarmed with comments like ‘It’s great to see you’ or ‘how are you feeling?’ and even ‘you look amazing, Liam doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.” That last one made me flinch the moment they said his name. I didn’t need to be reminded about him.

Brooke noticed my hesitation and decided that I needed drinks in my system immediately. This ended with me watching her down every shot that was placed in front of her while I sipped my own drink. I had never been much of a drinker, something Liam and I had had in common before his kidney functioning improved.

Groaning under my breath I pushed thoughts of Liam away and moved out of the room.

I found a bathroom and quickly slipped inside, taking a few deep breaths to try and be okay with the situation I was in. Brooke was right I needed to move on. It had been three months. He had probably moved on and now it was my time.

Plastering on a smile that seemed only fake to me, I left the bathroom and headed out to join my friends. I fell as easily as I could into conversation with them all and even managed to perfect a laugh that sounded a lot like my old one, but not exactly the same.

A commotion came from the front door making us all glance over to see a large crowd of people yelling something. I shrugged and glanced back at Tammy and Emma, two friends that I went to school with. We fell back into the conversation easily before a drunk Brooke suddenly appeared by my side.

Although I could tell she was drunk by the amount she was swaying while standing in space and the smell of alcohol on her breath, her eyes were strangely worried and her words stern.

“I think it’s time we went.” She said wrapping a hand around my elbow and beginning to tug.

“Why? Did something happen?” I asked worriedly as I waved goodbye to the other girls and allowed Brooke to pull me away from the commotion at the front door. She pulled me towards the back door and out into the open.

“Brooke are you going to tell me what happened?” I asked, starting to grow worried. I scanned her body ensuring that somehow she hadn’t been hurt while we were apart.

“I think it’s just best if we go home first.” She said glancing around her like she was searching for someone. Her eyes darted backwards and forwards before beginning to descend the stairs. We rounded the house and she pulled me through the front yard.

My eyes searched around as Brooke’s continued to, wondering who she could be looking for or avoiding.

My feet stopped suddenly as a gasp left my mouth the moment my eyes settled on a familiar figure. The loud laughter coming from the blonde could not be mistaken for anyone else as Niall’s bright eyes turned away from the person making him laugh and by some act of fate seemed to land directly on mine.

I watched as his eyes widened in surprise and his smile fell instantly. He gaped at me as I gaped at him, ignoring the tugging on my arm from Brooke.

My eyes moved from Niall to the mess of curly hair and bright green eyes that appeared next to him. Harry. I licked my lips nervously as his eyes followed Niall’s line of vision until he landed on me. His face showed just as much shock as Niall’s.

“Lynn, we have to go.” Brooke said sternly into my ear. I snapped out of my trance and instantly turned away from the two boys to Brooke. She stared at me worriedly for a second before her eyes travelled behind me towards the two boys.

Her eyes widened dramatically and she bit her lip.

“I’m so sorry.” She said to me softly and I knew in that moment that those two boys had been joined by a third. And knowing Harry and Niall like I did, that third boy had definitely already been shown where I was.

Refusing to turn around, I gripped Brooke’s hand tightly and we began to move in the opposite direction, not even caring that our car was not this way.

“Are you really just going to walk away?” A voice that was way too familiar, that left an aching in my heart, sounded from behind us. I paused in my tracks and closed my eyes as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks. Brooke’s hand squeezed mine tightly. “You’re not even going to say hello?”

Mustering up the courage I never thought I had, I turned slowly to see Liam Payne standing sternly behind us. His feet were spread slightly apart and his arms were placed across his chest, showing off his arm muscles. The sternness of his face sent my heart beating wildly.

“I thought after everything, you would at least explain it to me face to face.”

“Explain what?” I asked softly, avoiding his gaze as my shoulders slumped forward.

“Why you ended it?” He said sternly. I could practically feel the hate rolling off him.

“Liam...” Brooke began before Liam cut her off.

“Stay out of it Brooke. This doesn’t concern you!” I flinched at the anger in Liam’s voice.

“Go.” I said to Brook lightly, letting go of her hand. She shot me a look, I nodded at her. Sighing she glanced back at Liam before slowly beginning to walk away.

Both Liam and I stood there in silence for a moment.

“If I had seen you and earlier than this and you walked away, I probably would have left you go. But I ran into your friend in there. They told me you hadn’t been out in months. This was the first time they saw you. So I had to wander and hope. God I hope that maybe you regret what you did. Maybe you regret ending it. But I need you to tell me to my face why you ended it. I need to see you say it.” Liam’s voice said t me as I watched his feet step closer to mine.

“Do you regret what you did?” He asked me. I shook my head. He sighed and reached out to lift my chin to look into his eyes. They were hurt. “Then why are you crying?”

“Because it hurts to see you. It hurts to hear your voice, it hurts to be near you. It hurts to love you so much and not be able to have you.” I told him honestly, unable to lie to him in my weakened state.

“Why are you not able to have me?” He murmured the question, stepping even closer keeping his hand cupped around my chin.

“Because I love you so much that I had to set you free. I knew your life would be easier without me. I was becoming a burden and a hassle to. I get that Liam. I understand. So I’m allowing you to live your dream without me as a burden.” I whispered to him. His eyes hardened at my words and I heard a low growl come from him.

“You foolish girl! Why do you have to be so caring and selfless that you don’t see it. You were never a burden or a hassle. The moment I heard your voice or saw your face, you lit up my day. If my day had been terrible the only thing that kept me going was knowing that I would be able to hear your voice soon. And you took that away from me because you couldn’t be selfish.” I gaped at him at a loss for words.

“I love you. I still do and I always will. But you were an idiot and you know that. But I’m willing to forgive you if you promise to be selfish. I need you to be selfish and promise to do everything to keep me. I won’t forgive you if you keep being so selfless.” HE told me honeslty as I stared at him shocked. He honestly wanted me to be selfish.

We bother turned our attention slightly as people started to scream numbers in a massive group. The countdown to the New Year had started.

Taking a deep breath, I looked into Liam’s eyes and realised that I never wanted to look away from them again.

“I’ll make being selfish a New Year’s Resolution.” I smiled shyly at him. A large smiled split across his face.

His lips instantly connected with mine. I pushed myself further against him having been deprived of the feeling of his lips against mine. I had forgotten how addicting the feeling was. Our lips moved together like they had never been apart. His hand tangled into my brown curly hair as my own hands pulled tightly on his top getting him to bend down more so I would have to lean so far upwards.

I felt Liam smirk into the kiss, he had always found my shortness and his height an amusing matter. I smiled into his smirk and allowed his tongue to swiftly enter my mouth.

“I love you.” Liam whispered pulling away and rubbing his nose against mine.

“I love you to.” I said back softly allowing Liam to wrap me up in his arms.

“I swear this New Year will be better.” He promised me, placing a small kiss on top of my head. I smiled up at him.

“You’re right it will be because you can give me a massage the moment we get home.”I told him fulfilling my selfish resolution. Liam laughed and rolled his eyes before pulling my lips against his. I sighed happily and wound my arms around him.

Last year I had been foolish but this year I would learn from my mistakes.