The Calm

Alan's POV

It was 6 months later, the day before mine and Austin's wedding. We were deciding to have it in Washington because most of Austin's family was there. We had been flying for a while now, and I was starting to get really bored. I looked over at Austin, who was fast asleep, mouth wide open and drool pouring out. I smiled and gently shut his jaw for him.

"Excuse me passengers," The flight attendant said through the intercom. "The ride may get bumpy because we're heading through some clouds. Thank you."

Austin opened his eyes and sat up. "What'd she say?" He rubbed his eyes with his hands, clearly exhausted. His hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere. He actually looked adorable.

"Just that were going through some clouds." I told him.

Austin nodded. He took my hand and pecked me quickly on the cheek. "Are you excited about tomorrow?" He asked, grinning.

I smiled and nodded. I was actually horrified, but I didn't want to tell Austin that. I was having all these crazy thoughts, like what if we get so sick of each other we get a divorce? Or what if he gets sick of me and leaves?

Austin squeezed my hand, bringing me back to reality. "Everything will be fine." He said, as if reading my mind. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." The butterflies were still in my stomach however, and I was still nervous I could feel my legs start to shake.

"Alan, whats the matter?" Austin asked, a concerned look on his face.

"Nothing love." I lied. Austin lifted the arm seat up and motioned for me to come closer to me. I wrapped my arm around him and rested my head on his chest. I felt his arm slither around my waist. I felt perfect in Austin's arms, like nothing could go wrong. But still, that uneasy feeling was still in my stomach. We stayed like that for another 15 minutes until the lady came back on the intercom.

"Excuse me passengers, we've reached some difficulties. Please buckle your seat belts, thank you." I sat up and put on my seat belt, Austin doing the same.

"I'm starting to get really worried, Austin."

"Relax beautiful, everything will be fine." Austin smiled. "Get some rest, I'll wake you if something happens." I smiled and shut my eyes, sleep slowly taking over me.

Austin's POV

When I knew Alan was fast asleep, I started biting my fingernails, a habit I only did when I was nervous. And right now, I was terrified. I was scared of this marriage, I didn't know if I was still ready. I didn't know if I was ready to settle down. I didn't want to tell Alan though, he seemed so excited. I was also terrified of this plane crashing. I could never let Alan know I was scared though, he looked up to me for comfort. If he found out I was nervous, it would only make him feel worse.

Suddenly, the plane started going out of control. Everyone started screaming, and I saw Alan's eyes shoot open. He sat straight up.

"Austin, what's happening?" He asked, looking around confused. I couldn't reply, I was mortified. We were going to die. I knew it.

"Austin, what the fuck is happening?!" Alan shook me, his eyes started tearing up. "Are you okay?! Should I get someone?"

"Yeah... I'm fine." I said finally snapping out of it. I was trying to keep my voice calm, trying to keep it from not cracking.

"Austin... are we going to die?" Alan asked, tears streaming down his face.

"I-" I didn't know whether to lie to Alan or to tell the truth because chances were, we were goners. He stared back up at me, his eyes showing he was scared. "I don't know." I replied honestly. I cuddled Alan close to me, or as close as the seat belt would let me. We started diving towards the ground, everyone letting out piercing shrieks, but the plane jerked back up. The flight attendants were coming around trying to calm everyone, but clearly it wasn't working.

I turned to Alan, looking into his big beautiful hazy eyes. "Alan, this might be the last time I ever see you."

"Don't say that!" Alan screamed, he was sobbing now, and he couldn't stop it. He knew the truth, he knew we were going to die. "Austin... I wasn't a good boyfriend to you. You had to provide me with everything, and I wish I would've been there for you. You're my best friend and the love of my life, and you always will be, dead or alive. I know I never really talked about my feelings a lot, but I' not good at it. But you were always there for me, even after you found out all my secrets. You've been there for my worst moments, and at my best. I loved raising the two twins with you, and I love you. You'll never understand how much I love and care about you. And if we do make it through this, I'll start being a better boyfriend. A better husband. And I'm honored to be Mr. Alan Dean Carlile."

I smiled, tears streaming down my face. "Alan Dean... Cashby." Alan smiled and kissed me on the lips, hard and passionate. I did the same back. We both knew this would be our last kiss. We pulled away. My chest was pounding, and I knew Alan could tell. He started to get a flight attendant but I stopped him.

"Alan, I love you so fucking much. You were the best boyfriend anyone could ever have, no matter what you say. Before I met you, I was just a suicidal, insecure, depressed piece of shit. I hated myself, and was planning on ending it all. I took my feelings out on myself. But then I met you, and you were able to talk me out of all of that. Out of the insecurity, the depression, the anger, the self-hatred. You made me feel useful and loved, and I knew we were meant for each other the minute I laid my eyes on you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here today. So thank you. I love you so fucking much, you don't understand." My heart was hurting, the pain was unbearable. We started diving down again, everyone screaming. I unbuckled my seat belt and threw myself over Alan.

"AUSTIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Alan screamed.

"PROTECTING YOU!" I shouted back. If either of us deserved to live, it was Alan. There was a loud crash, and everything went black.

******************

I woke up to excruciating pain. I couldn't move a single part of my body. I could barely breathe. I didn't know where I was, there were fires and tons of severely injured and dead people surrounding me. I remembered it was the plane crash that caused all of this. Alan... was he okay?!

Suddenly a ginger appeared above me, but I could barely hear or see him. Although he was hardly two feet away from me, he sounded like he was miles away.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, AUSTIN!!" He screamed. "Don't you fucking die!" He grabbed onto my shoulders, pain shooting through my body. "AUSTIN, COME BACK! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME!!"

"Get him back!" One of the doctors surrounding me said. They pulled Alan off me and dragged him away. I wanted to call out to Alan, to fight the pain and be with him, to hold him in my arms.

"Alan." I wasn't sure if I had said it. I was sure I did, because all the doctors who were starting to slowly fade looked at me, astonished. Alan fought the doctors grip and ran over to me.

"Austin, I'm right here." He grabbed my hand. I made sure I got a good look at him, taking in every detail I could. This would be the last time I saw him. He was truly breathtaking, his orange hair messy and dirty, tangled with blood. His pale, unbelievably smooth face. His gorgeous hazel eyes. His full lips that connected perfectly with mine.

"I love you." I heard myself mutter, my voice dry and scratchy.

Alan started sobbing. "I love you too, Austin."

The pain was suddenly gone, I felt weightless. I could see my surroundings, but it was quickly fading away. I could hear my surroundings, but they were fading away as well.

"Time of death, 2:55 a.m." I heard one of the doctors say. Alan was sobbing, clinging to my dead body.

"Austin." I heard a calm voice say. I turned and saw my mother behind me. I smiled and ran to her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Mom! I missed you!" I exclaimed. She hugged back, just as tight. We released each other, and she took my hand.

"Join me." And together, we walked into the light.

Alan's POV

The plane was diving down. I was sobbing, I didn't want to die. No, not now. Things were going so well. Suddenly, I saw Austin rip his belt off and throw himself over me.

"AUSTIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" I screamed, horrified. Was he insane?!

"PROTECTING YOU!" He screamed back. I tried pushing him off, but it was too late. There was a loud crash, and suddenly all I felt was pain. Pain. I blacked out, but returned only a few minutes later. There were nurses and ambulances everywhere, Austin was gone, laying somewhere else. I was on a gurney, nurses surrounding me.

"He's up!" One called out.

"Austin." I tried screaming, but what only came out as a quiet murmur. I pointed to him, but quickly set my arm back down. The pain was unbearable.

"He saved your life." The nurse said. "If he hadn't thrown himself over you, you would've taken the blow and would be dead. He gave up his life for yours."

I shook my head, and forced myself to sit up. The nurses tried making me lay down, but I pushed them away. With the little strength I had left, I got up and limped over to him. The doctors tried stopping me, but I refused to let them.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE ON ME, AUSTIN!!" I screamed, shocking myself at how loud I was. I continued screaming, hoping it would wake him up, or even better, wake me up. How I wanted all of this to be a dream. "Don't you fucking die!" I grabbed onto my shoulders. "AUSTIN, COME BACK! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME!!" The doctors grabbed onto me and pulled me away.

"Alan." I heard someone murmur. Austin. I pushed past the doctors and practically crawled to him. With shaky hands, I somehow managed to take his hand into mine. I stared at him, his usually happy brown eyes full of pain, his face bruised and swelled up, the usual smile that was always on his face was gone, a frown left in its place.

"Austin, I'm right here." I said, staring into his eyes.

"I love you." He said, his voice dry and scratchy.

"I love you too."

And with that, he was gone.

"Time of death, 2:55 a.m." One of the doctors said.

"No... Austin." I started sobbing. "AUSTIN! NO!" I screamed. The nurses held me back and took me to the gurney. "AUSTIN, COME BACK!!" I was sobbing so hard I couldn't even breathe. I looked up to the sky.

"I love you so much Austin."