Untitled
June 15th 2005
[6;27 AM]
My cheast ached, eyes watered annoyingly with tears, I let them fall, however, my whole body was too dull to do anything. I didn't care at that point.
Gerard had just declared his deep love for me, his severe drug problems and his problems to show the world who he really was. The worst thing was what he had started with,'' Once you read this, I'll be long gone.'' What did he mean?
That he had left me here and that he just went away? He was moving?
Or was it a goodbye, a goodbye .. forever?
The thoughts whirled around in my head. I started to feel the panic come crawling my spine.
I sat unmoved, I could'nt breathe, not talk, not even wipe the tears that uncontrollably fell down from my cheeks.
Anxiety crept slowly up on my back, digged it's claws deep in my sides.
In panic, I threw myself on the floor and whimpered.
Mr anxiety stayed,with it's sharp claws digging into me,making me unable to move.
With all my strength I hit my hand on the floor, the sharp claws lost it's grip a little.
Repeated times I banged the floor and screamed.
My hands were all blue and my throat was dry and exhausted when I stopped beating and shouting.
A headache attached itself to me extremely fast. It was always like that, after I collapsed,the headache came, as a sign that I survived.
For me it was'nt a sign of survival, for me it was a sign of failure.
Why was'nt dead yet?
I stood up slowly and I decided to go out and just walk.
Walking was the only cure for the headache.
My legs ruled themselves.
It was as if they themselves took command.
They knew exactly where they were going.
Without that I even had time to think, I was outside the school.
On the roof, I got a glimpse of a person, I stopped and listened, the person was crying, it was clear.
I went closer to maybe get a better idea of what was going on up on the roof.
The face I met was a face filled with grief and exhaustion.
The feelings was so diverse, one half of me wanted to jump and scream with joy and the other half received tremendous anxiety.
He was so beautiful. He was so beautiful, it hurt me, and I loved him more than ever.
Gerard Way has never been more beautiful than when he was on the school roof, this cold gray day.
My cheast ached, eyes watered annoyingly with tears, I let them fall, however, my whole body was too dull to do anything. I didn't care at that point.
Gerard had just declared his deep love for me, his severe drug problems and his problems to show the world who he really was. The worst thing was what he had started with,'' Once you read this, I'll be long gone.'' What did he mean?
That he had left me here and that he just went away? He was moving?
Or was it a goodbye, a goodbye .. forever?
The thoughts whirled around in my head. I started to feel the panic come crawling my spine.
I sat unmoved, I could'nt breathe, not talk, not even wipe the tears that uncontrollably fell down from my cheeks.
Anxiety crept slowly up on my back, digged it's claws deep in my sides.
In panic, I threw myself on the floor and whimpered.
Mr anxiety stayed,with it's sharp claws digging into me,making me unable to move.
With all my strength I hit my hand on the floor, the sharp claws lost it's grip a little.
Repeated times I banged the floor and screamed.
My hands were all blue and my throat was dry and exhausted when I stopped beating and shouting.
A headache attached itself to me extremely fast. It was always like that, after I collapsed,the headache came, as a sign that I survived.
For me it was'nt a sign of survival, for me it was a sign of failure.
Why was'nt dead yet?
I stood up slowly and I decided to go out and just walk.
Walking was the only cure for the headache.
My legs ruled themselves.
It was as if they themselves took command.
They knew exactly where they were going.
Without that I even had time to think, I was outside the school.
On the roof, I got a glimpse of a person, I stopped and listened, the person was crying, it was clear.
I went closer to maybe get a better idea of what was going on up on the roof.
The face I met was a face filled with grief and exhaustion.
The feelings was so diverse, one half of me wanted to jump and scream with joy and the other half received tremendous anxiety.
He was so beautiful. He was so beautiful, it hurt me, and I loved him more than ever.
Gerard Way has never been more beautiful than when he was on the school roof, this cold gray day.
♠ ♠ ♠
One again,my bestie helped writing this.Also google translate.
To fucking tired, i had to cheat lol
nilssonelle @ twitter
My twitter;theuniicornfrnk
:3