But What If?
Live show
Dan’s POV
“I’m going to take a shower!” I yell at Phil. “Uh, Dan? You do realize it’s Tuesday, right?” “Oh shit, I forgot, my live show is tonight!” I speak to myself in the bathroom mirror, standing in my boxers and contemplating whether to take a shower. “What time is it?” I yell back. “7 minutes to 9 o’clock.” “Oh crap, I’ll take a really quick shower then, ‘cause afterwards I’ll be too lazy. Can you go on YouNow and get in the queue for me already, please? My laptop’s on my bed.” “Yeah sure, but hurry!” Phil yells as I hear him heading to my room. I quickly take off my boxers and jump into the shower as I turn it on. I wash my body and hair as fast as I can. Soon I’m all clean, so I get out and dry myself with a towel. I don’t bother straightening my hair, but I do want to quickly dry it. As I turn off the hairdryer a minute later, my hair still being a bit damp, I can hear Phil talking. Shit, I’m live already! Well, Phil is live in my place. I hurry into some clothes and run to my room, grabbing my llama hat on my way, as it’s the first hat within reach. I quickly catch my breath before entering my room through the door that was already opened, acting as if I didn’t just run like a fool. I can see Phil sitting on my bed, turned just so that he doesn’t notice me and the viewers can’t see me either. “Someone in the chat just claimed that me and Dan are together. I’d just like to say something about that.” Phil speaks as I stand still and decide to listen. He sighs, turning his head down and not looking into the lens of the webcam on my Mac. I frown a bit. “Sometimes two people have a very strong friendship, so strong that it’s practically a relationship without the physical contact. Not only sex, by the way. Holding hands, cuddling and kissing… all the signs of affection towards each other, those aren’t there in the case of just friendship. And that case is Dan and mine. I love Dan as my best friend, I really do, but we don’t show affection towards each other in that way.” He looks back up to the screen. I take a breath. “And I love Phil, as my best friend.” Phil swiftly turns around with a gasp as soon as my words reach his ears. “Dan! Oh, I didn’t know you were… Well uh, guys, Dan’s here now. I, I’ll be going now. Bye!” Phil quickly stands up and paces to the door, into the hallway and headed for the living room. What the- ? I walk over to my bed and take my computer on my lap as I sit down. “So uh, hi guys! How are you feeling? I’m sorry I’m a bit late, I was in the shower.” People in the chat hardly answer my question. A few people say “moist”, others answer my question normally, though most people in the chat go on about just how suspicious Phil’s reaction from a moment ago was. To be honest, I think it was a bit weird too, though. Should I say something about it? Hmm. Without even realizing it, I leap into a blur of thoughts. I snap back to reality as there’s a knock on my bedroom door. “I’m going to bed, Dan.” “Oh uh, yeah, okay. Hold on just a second.” I tell him as he looks at the floor in discomfort. He looks kind of scared, it makes me feel bad for him. I turn my laptop around, facing the wall as I tell the viewers to give me a moment. I get up from the bed and quickly walk over to Phil. He looks up at me with these eyes that just seem ready to break down in tears any minute. “Are you okay?” I ask softly so that the viewers can’t hear me. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a tiring day.” I frown. As far as I can remember, Phil didn’t really do much productive today. Though I could, of course, be wrong and I don’t want to argue about something like that. “Do you want me to leave you alone to sleep?” I ask cautiously. Phil shrugs as a single tear rolls down his cheek and he looks at the floor again. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He looks so hurt. “Is it okay for you to talk for a bit? I know we don’t usually do stuff like this, but I feel like we should get past our comfort zone or something.” I ramble, not exactly knowing why, but just knowing we should talk for once. Phil nods. “Are you going to do your live show first?” “No, this is more important.” I whisper, bringing out a little smile on Phil’s face. “You just go to your room and get comfy in bed or something. I’ll finish the live show right now and meet you in there, if that’s okay with you?” Phil smiles. “Yeah, that’s good.” I smile happily as Phil heads to his room and I go to say goodbye to all the people that are watching me on YouNow. I apologize for not exactly being there tonight and turn off my laptop after promising next week will bring a better live show.
Phil’s POV
I quickly change into sweatpants and a random, more baggy shirt. Then I go to sit on my bed with my back against the wall and covered under my duvet, which I pull up all the way to my chin and wait for Dan as I wipe away some lonely tears that make their way down my cheeks. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s probably just the realization that without Dan, I might not have had such an amazing friendship with anyone. Soon though, Dan walks into my room, closing the door behind him to then awkwardly stand still in the middle of my room. “You can sit next to me? I don’t bite…” Dan smiles thankfully, yet still awkwardly and sits down next to me in exactly the same way I’m sitting. I look at him, expectantly. I really hope he’ll get the conversation going. I’m no good at that sort of stuff, at talking about what bothers me. Though, I can understand that Dan wants to talk right now and actually, so do I. “So…” Dan begins to talk. “Are you really just tired or is there more to this?” He looks worried. I swallow. “There’s more to it.” He looks me in the eye, mentally encouraging me to keep on talking. I take a deep breath. “So, you heard me say those things, right?” “About our friendship, yes…” I nod. “Well, when I said I love you as my best friend, I really meant that. You mean so much to me and I really can’t imagine a life without you. I’m not trying to sound romantic or anything, but it’s just the truth. And…” I pause. “And… I realized that without you, I probably wouldn’t have a friendship like ours with anyone.” Dan smiles. I awkwardly fiddle with my fingers. “I meant it when I said I love you, as well, and I think that the things you’ve just said, are also relevant to me. I legit can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you and if we wouldn’t have built up our friendship to what it is today.” I look up at Dan and we both smile, we even understand each other on this. Then there follows a long and rather awkward silence, another reason I don’t like conversations that much. “And I actually think our friendship is indeed so strong that it’s like a relationship without the physical side to it, but I’m just wondering… Don’t you think that might be keeping us from getting attached to other people on the same level or even higher?” I ask confusedly. “You mean whether our friendship is so strong that it’s almost impossible for anyone else to get past that level and start a true relationship with either of us… or something like that?” Dan asks, confused as well. “Yes.” I simply say. We both frown and clearly need a moment to think about this. I sigh, this is psychologically very complicated. “If anything, I do understand better why our fans ship us now.” I laugh. “Yeah…” I swallow, another awkward silence.
Dan’s POV
“Do you want a relationship, though?” I ask Phil out of the blue. “I um… I don’t know, actually.” Phil looks at me, still contemplating my question. “I can’t really imagine myself like, in bed with a girl or something… I mean, I usually hang out with guys, so I don’t know whether I’d be any good at being in a relationship with a girl. Also, I’m quite happy with my life right now. Things are starting to get off on YouTube and with the radio and all, I get to spend time making videos and doing the things I love when surrounded by awesome people and I usually don’t have to get up early in the morning if I don’t want to. I don’t know whether I’d like the effect a relationship would have on that lifestyle. It could be nice, but it could, and I think it would, change my lifestyle quite a lot and I don’t know whether it’d be for the better, in my opinion. Maybe I’m just scared of change, though.” I take a breath and widen my eyes, that was deep. “Yeah… that… makes sense, actually.” “Wow, I never knew we’d get this deep tonight.” Phil speaks as I chuckle. “That’s what she said!” At first Phil rolls his eyes around, but the corners of his mouth curl up soon enough and not much later we’re laughing. “Well, I guess the two of us will just die alone together then!” I eventually conclude. “Yeah!” Phil agrees, nodding his head. “What do you say we go and play video games then, to celebrate?”
“I’m going to take a shower!” I yell at Phil. “Uh, Dan? You do realize it’s Tuesday, right?” “Oh shit, I forgot, my live show is tonight!” I speak to myself in the bathroom mirror, standing in my boxers and contemplating whether to take a shower. “What time is it?” I yell back. “7 minutes to 9 o’clock.” “Oh crap, I’ll take a really quick shower then, ‘cause afterwards I’ll be too lazy. Can you go on YouNow and get in the queue for me already, please? My laptop’s on my bed.” “Yeah sure, but hurry!” Phil yells as I hear him heading to my room. I quickly take off my boxers and jump into the shower as I turn it on. I wash my body and hair as fast as I can. Soon I’m all clean, so I get out and dry myself with a towel. I don’t bother straightening my hair, but I do want to quickly dry it. As I turn off the hairdryer a minute later, my hair still being a bit damp, I can hear Phil talking. Shit, I’m live already! Well, Phil is live in my place. I hurry into some clothes and run to my room, grabbing my llama hat on my way, as it’s the first hat within reach. I quickly catch my breath before entering my room through the door that was already opened, acting as if I didn’t just run like a fool. I can see Phil sitting on my bed, turned just so that he doesn’t notice me and the viewers can’t see me either. “Someone in the chat just claimed that me and Dan are together. I’d just like to say something about that.” Phil speaks as I stand still and decide to listen. He sighs, turning his head down and not looking into the lens of the webcam on my Mac. I frown a bit. “Sometimes two people have a very strong friendship, so strong that it’s practically a relationship without the physical contact. Not only sex, by the way. Holding hands, cuddling and kissing… all the signs of affection towards each other, those aren’t there in the case of just friendship. And that case is Dan and mine. I love Dan as my best friend, I really do, but we don’t show affection towards each other in that way.” He looks back up to the screen. I take a breath. “And I love Phil, as my best friend.” Phil swiftly turns around with a gasp as soon as my words reach his ears. “Dan! Oh, I didn’t know you were… Well uh, guys, Dan’s here now. I, I’ll be going now. Bye!” Phil quickly stands up and paces to the door, into the hallway and headed for the living room. What the- ? I walk over to my bed and take my computer on my lap as I sit down. “So uh, hi guys! How are you feeling? I’m sorry I’m a bit late, I was in the shower.” People in the chat hardly answer my question. A few people say “moist”, others answer my question normally, though most people in the chat go on about just how suspicious Phil’s reaction from a moment ago was. To be honest, I think it was a bit weird too, though. Should I say something about it? Hmm. Without even realizing it, I leap into a blur of thoughts. I snap back to reality as there’s a knock on my bedroom door. “I’m going to bed, Dan.” “Oh uh, yeah, okay. Hold on just a second.” I tell him as he looks at the floor in discomfort. He looks kind of scared, it makes me feel bad for him. I turn my laptop around, facing the wall as I tell the viewers to give me a moment. I get up from the bed and quickly walk over to Phil. He looks up at me with these eyes that just seem ready to break down in tears any minute. “Are you okay?” I ask softly so that the viewers can’t hear me. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been a tiring day.” I frown. As far as I can remember, Phil didn’t really do much productive today. Though I could, of course, be wrong and I don’t want to argue about something like that. “Do you want me to leave you alone to sleep?” I ask cautiously. Phil shrugs as a single tear rolls down his cheek and he looks at the floor again. It breaks my heart to see him like this. He looks so hurt. “Is it okay for you to talk for a bit? I know we don’t usually do stuff like this, but I feel like we should get past our comfort zone or something.” I ramble, not exactly knowing why, but just knowing we should talk for once. Phil nods. “Are you going to do your live show first?” “No, this is more important.” I whisper, bringing out a little smile on Phil’s face. “You just go to your room and get comfy in bed or something. I’ll finish the live show right now and meet you in there, if that’s okay with you?” Phil smiles. “Yeah, that’s good.” I smile happily as Phil heads to his room and I go to say goodbye to all the people that are watching me on YouNow. I apologize for not exactly being there tonight and turn off my laptop after promising next week will bring a better live show.
Phil’s POV
I quickly change into sweatpants and a random, more baggy shirt. Then I go to sit on my bed with my back against the wall and covered under my duvet, which I pull up all the way to my chin and wait for Dan as I wipe away some lonely tears that make their way down my cheeks. I don’t even know why I’m crying. It’s probably just the realization that without Dan, I might not have had such an amazing friendship with anyone. Soon though, Dan walks into my room, closing the door behind him to then awkwardly stand still in the middle of my room. “You can sit next to me? I don’t bite…” Dan smiles thankfully, yet still awkwardly and sits down next to me in exactly the same way I’m sitting. I look at him, expectantly. I really hope he’ll get the conversation going. I’m no good at that sort of stuff, at talking about what bothers me. Though, I can understand that Dan wants to talk right now and actually, so do I. “So…” Dan begins to talk. “Are you really just tired or is there more to this?” He looks worried. I swallow. “There’s more to it.” He looks me in the eye, mentally encouraging me to keep on talking. I take a deep breath. “So, you heard me say those things, right?” “About our friendship, yes…” I nod. “Well, when I said I love you as my best friend, I really meant that. You mean so much to me and I really can’t imagine a life without you. I’m not trying to sound romantic or anything, but it’s just the truth. And…” I pause. “And… I realized that without you, I probably wouldn’t have a friendship like ours with anyone.” Dan smiles. I awkwardly fiddle with my fingers. “I meant it when I said I love you, as well, and I think that the things you’ve just said, are also relevant to me. I legit can’t imagine what my life would be like if I hadn’t met you and if we wouldn’t have built up our friendship to what it is today.” I look up at Dan and we both smile, we even understand each other on this. Then there follows a long and rather awkward silence, another reason I don’t like conversations that much. “And I actually think our friendship is indeed so strong that it’s like a relationship without the physical side to it, but I’m just wondering… Don’t you think that might be keeping us from getting attached to other people on the same level or even higher?” I ask confusedly. “You mean whether our friendship is so strong that it’s almost impossible for anyone else to get past that level and start a true relationship with either of us… or something like that?” Dan asks, confused as well. “Yes.” I simply say. We both frown and clearly need a moment to think about this. I sigh, this is psychologically very complicated. “If anything, I do understand better why our fans ship us now.” I laugh. “Yeah…” I swallow, another awkward silence.
Dan’s POV
“Do you want a relationship, though?” I ask Phil out of the blue. “I um… I don’t know, actually.” Phil looks at me, still contemplating my question. “I can’t really imagine myself like, in bed with a girl or something… I mean, I usually hang out with guys, so I don’t know whether I’d be any good at being in a relationship with a girl. Also, I’m quite happy with my life right now. Things are starting to get off on YouTube and with the radio and all, I get to spend time making videos and doing the things I love when surrounded by awesome people and I usually don’t have to get up early in the morning if I don’t want to. I don’t know whether I’d like the effect a relationship would have on that lifestyle. It could be nice, but it could, and I think it would, change my lifestyle quite a lot and I don’t know whether it’d be for the better, in my opinion. Maybe I’m just scared of change, though.” I take a breath and widen my eyes, that was deep. “Yeah… that… makes sense, actually.” “Wow, I never knew we’d get this deep tonight.” Phil speaks as I chuckle. “That’s what she said!” At first Phil rolls his eyes around, but the corners of his mouth curl up soon enough and not much later we’re laughing. “Well, I guess the two of us will just die alone together then!” I eventually conclude. “Yeah!” Phil agrees, nodding his head. “What do you say we go and play video games then, to celebrate?”