But What If?
Let's talk
Phil’s POV
A tune. I groan as I lift my head from my pillow, reaching for my phone. I look at it to find that I received a new text message from PJ. I sigh, what now? ‘I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t mean to upset you… I just legit thought you might be…’ I stare at the text for a while. Maybe he’s right, but… I don’t know.
“Dan, can we talk again, please?” I ask, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, where Dan is leaning into a counter with a glass of wine in his hand. He snaps out of his universe of thought and back into real life as I fire my question at him. “Uh, yeah… sure.” “You can go sit on the sofa already, I’m just gonna make myself a cup of coffee before getting settled.” “Um, okay.” Dan speaks awkwardly as he walks over to the living room.
Not much later we’re both sat on the sofa and looking at each other. “So, PJ called.” I start. “I see. What did he say?” “He asked what happened after the live show, so I told him we talked.” “Um, okay… So, why exactly are we discussing this?” Dan asks with a confused expression on his face. I sigh. “It’s not that. It’s about what he said after that.” Dan raises his eyebrow. “Chris is bisexual. He just came out to PJ.” “Oh, that’s cool. It was kind of obvious…” “Yeah… but then PJ asked me…” “He asked you what?” “He asked me whether we are bisexual, too.” “What? Why?” “He says because we never really date girls.” Dan raises an eyebrow. I shrug. “It’s not because we don’t hang out with girls, that we don’t like them…” “Yeah, well… But he thinks it’s because we’re bisexual and more into guys…” Dan sighs, then starts to speak again, a bit calmer now. “Look, I’m not gonna deny that I’m bisexual, because to be honest, I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” He looks at me. I scratch my head. “Yeah… You’re right, actually. I haven’t really considered it either. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or whatever, but I suppose I’ve just always assumed that I’m straight.” “Yeah, exactly.” For a moment, we just sit there and stare. Then Dan looks up at me and opens his mouth to say something. After another moment of consideration, he starts to talk. “This is probably gonna sound weird, but… do you think we would make a good couple?” Dan looks at me awkwardly, waiting for me to answer. My eyes widen. Oh god, how am I supposed to answer this question? “Um…” I say. “Uh, I don’t know? I never really pictured us together. I suppose not much would change, though, so… we might? I don’t know…” I stare at Dan, unsure what to say or do, as does he. And so we sit in silence, staring at each other awkwardly.
Dan’s POV
So, Phil thinks we might make a good couple? I know I asked him that question, but I didn’t expect him to give me that answer. Though… I agree, for some reason: “Maybe we should…” Phil’s eyes widen as he swallows. “Try?” I end my sentence as I feel the nerves rising in my stomach. Phil is silent and takes a breath. “Um… O-okay?” My heartbeat raises as my breathing gets heavier. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen next. Then, I’m suddenly leaning in, putting my hand around his neck and pulling him closer. I take a deep breath as our faces get closer by the second. We stare into each others’ eyes and I drown in Phil’s blue oceans as I smile. Our lips are just an inch away now. I can feel Phil’s breath on my skin. Our noses brush as we close our eyes and tilt our heads. Then, we kiss. All kinds of feelings rush through my body. Soon, though, I feel butterflies waking up in my stomach, then flying around happily. Is this good or bad? After a brief moment, we break apart and stare at each other once again. “Wow.” Is all that Phil manages to say. “Wow indeed.” I say. Then, out of nowhere, we’re both smiling and leaning in for a second kiss. Soon, the butterflies are all over the place again. Phil’s hands tangle up in my hair and I smile into the kiss. PJ was right. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m gay for Phil, so gay. Much too soon, in my opinion, Phil breaks the kiss and lets his forehead rest against mine. He bites his lip as he smiles, looking cuter than ever before and driving me nuts. I don’t even know where these thoughts are coming from. I’ve never thought of Phil as anything more than just my best friend, but damn… kissing him is like finding a treasure. Something you managed to live without, but secretly always hoped to find. Something of which you never quite knew what it was, but when you find it, you know it’s what you’ve always been looking for. Phil is everything I ever wanted, there’s hardly any doubt on my mind anymore. I take his hands in mine and fall back on the sofa, as does he. We’re both kind of shocked by what just happened and need a moment to let it sink in. I’ll never be able to look at him like I used to. From now on, I’ll always fall in love all over again when I see his beautiful face. I’ll never forget the taste of his lips and it’ll always be a taste I crave for. I smile happily as I relax. No more worries, no more pain, everything is just fine for now. Phil’s here and that’s all that matters. My eyelids get heavy and soon, they’re too heavy for me to open my eyes again. With my hand locked in Phil’s, butterflies in my stomach and a smile on my face, I fall asleep.
A tune. I groan as I lift my head from my pillow, reaching for my phone. I look at it to find that I received a new text message from PJ. I sigh, what now? ‘I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t mean to upset you… I just legit thought you might be…’ I stare at the text for a while. Maybe he’s right, but… I don’t know.
“Dan, can we talk again, please?” I ask, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, where Dan is leaning into a counter with a glass of wine in his hand. He snaps out of his universe of thought and back into real life as I fire my question at him. “Uh, yeah… sure.” “You can go sit on the sofa already, I’m just gonna make myself a cup of coffee before getting settled.” “Um, okay.” Dan speaks awkwardly as he walks over to the living room.
Not much later we’re both sat on the sofa and looking at each other. “So, PJ called.” I start. “I see. What did he say?” “He asked what happened after the live show, so I told him we talked.” “Um, okay… So, why exactly are we discussing this?” Dan asks with a confused expression on his face. I sigh. “It’s not that. It’s about what he said after that.” Dan raises his eyebrow. “Chris is bisexual. He just came out to PJ.” “Oh, that’s cool. It was kind of obvious…” “Yeah… but then PJ asked me…” “He asked you what?” “He asked me whether we are bisexual, too.” “What? Why?” “He says because we never really date girls.” Dan raises an eyebrow. I shrug. “It’s not because we don’t hang out with girls, that we don’t like them…” “Yeah, well… But he thinks it’s because we’re bisexual and more into guys…” Dan sighs, then starts to speak again, a bit calmer now. “Look, I’m not gonna deny that I’m bisexual, because to be honest, I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.” He looks at me. I scratch my head. “Yeah… You’re right, actually. I haven’t really considered it either. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or whatever, but I suppose I’ve just always assumed that I’m straight.” “Yeah, exactly.” For a moment, we just sit there and stare. Then Dan looks up at me and opens his mouth to say something. After another moment of consideration, he starts to talk. “This is probably gonna sound weird, but… do you think we would make a good couple?” Dan looks at me awkwardly, waiting for me to answer. My eyes widen. Oh god, how am I supposed to answer this question? “Um…” I say. “Uh, I don’t know? I never really pictured us together. I suppose not much would change, though, so… we might? I don’t know…” I stare at Dan, unsure what to say or do, as does he. And so we sit in silence, staring at each other awkwardly.
Dan’s POV
So, Phil thinks we might make a good couple? I know I asked him that question, but I didn’t expect him to give me that answer. Though… I agree, for some reason: “Maybe we should…” Phil’s eyes widen as he swallows. “Try?” I end my sentence as I feel the nerves rising in my stomach. Phil is silent and takes a breath. “Um… O-okay?” My heartbeat raises as my breathing gets heavier. I’m nervous about what’s going to happen next. Then, I’m suddenly leaning in, putting my hand around his neck and pulling him closer. I take a deep breath as our faces get closer by the second. We stare into each others’ eyes and I drown in Phil’s blue oceans as I smile. Our lips are just an inch away now. I can feel Phil’s breath on my skin. Our noses brush as we close our eyes and tilt our heads. Then, we kiss. All kinds of feelings rush through my body. Soon, though, I feel butterflies waking up in my stomach, then flying around happily. Is this good or bad? After a brief moment, we break apart and stare at each other once again. “Wow.” Is all that Phil manages to say. “Wow indeed.” I say. Then, out of nowhere, we’re both smiling and leaning in for a second kiss. Soon, the butterflies are all over the place again. Phil’s hands tangle up in my hair and I smile into the kiss. PJ was right. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m gay for Phil, so gay. Much too soon, in my opinion, Phil breaks the kiss and lets his forehead rest against mine. He bites his lip as he smiles, looking cuter than ever before and driving me nuts. I don’t even know where these thoughts are coming from. I’ve never thought of Phil as anything more than just my best friend, but damn… kissing him is like finding a treasure. Something you managed to live without, but secretly always hoped to find. Something of which you never quite knew what it was, but when you find it, you know it’s what you’ve always been looking for. Phil is everything I ever wanted, there’s hardly any doubt on my mind anymore. I take his hands in mine and fall back on the sofa, as does he. We’re both kind of shocked by what just happened and need a moment to let it sink in. I’ll never be able to look at him like I used to. From now on, I’ll always fall in love all over again when I see his beautiful face. I’ll never forget the taste of his lips and it’ll always be a taste I crave for. I smile happily as I relax. No more worries, no more pain, everything is just fine for now. Phil’s here and that’s all that matters. My eyelids get heavy and soon, they’re too heavy for me to open my eyes again. With my hand locked in Phil’s, butterflies in my stomach and a smile on my face, I fall asleep.