The Porn I like
The Porn I like
We are just a bunch of dudes, sitting around the poker table, drinking beers and getting high, on giant, smelly blunts and smoking cigars. Snorting huge, gummy worm sized lines of cocaine and jawing about guy things like who fucked who and who would stick what in where, when then the conversation turns to Porn. Someone says they like anal porn and some people shyly agree, blushing and saying that this is a good type of porn. Some say, however, perhaps out of a sense of propriety, that, Anal is is weird and this makes them uncomfortable. Then someone else says they like interracial porn and most of us also agree that this is a good type of porn, except of course for Melvin-John the slack jawed, hillbilly racist, who just shakes his head, spits his mouth full of tobacco into the bronze spittoon near the door, and says something unintelligible about porn, overalls and a donkey. There is a pregnant silence as everyone tries to take that in and then, Jason, whose house we are at finishes shuffling the deck, deals out the cards, calls for ante and says,
"In the porn I like two woman have sex with a man, they are all curvy, melty lines that press and squeeze against and out, all soft and smooth and gorgeous and perfect. The man is like a chiseled straight line, he is so unbelievably strong, lifting them both up holding them both on top of him, presses them together. He is like a giant boulder and they are like two river spirits, chasing each other around him, posing in the sun and frolicking and eating each other's pussies out."
Then he calls the standing bet, one hundred and twenty five dollars and starts going around the table asking for trade in, i'm a little ashamed now, because as Jason has been talking, i have been imagining his words, so beautiful, so poetic, this vision of innocence and beauty, that i have developed a huge erection, and of course i don't want my male friends to ridicule me, for being aroused in a room full of men, for being gay, So i am furiously avoiding everyone's gaze, trying to act casual but getting progressively harder and harder, as the conversation goes from threesomes, to foursomes, to group sex and orgies and S&M -bondage- whipping- milf- fetish- teenage- cum dripping- backseat- casting couch- boats and then Gus, the stockbroker, with the giant blue afro, that matches his pinstripe suit comes back from his car after running out of money. bets an original 1969 printing of the Rolling Stones "Let It Bleed" as collateral, says,
"In the porn I like everyone has really huge cocks. Big giant cocks, like four feet long, that weigh fifty pounds. Big giant enflamed cocks, that they wave around and smash stuff with and then skinny, skinny, ladies with huge boobs the size of basketballs and lovely dark asterisk shaped, endless assholes that could swallow a man whole, come, and the men smack their huge fat cocks on the giant skinny ladies planet sized boobs and then the big floppy cocks and titties are all slapping together and smashing stuff and jiggling against hot stomachs and asses, just huge, jiggly, face fulls of galaxies of cocks and asses and perky massive tits."
He wins the hand and is right back in the game. We are all murmuring about how the type of porn with the giant, floppy cocks and titties is, as a matter of fact, a very great type of porn but it was a dirty, rotten trick, to distract us in such a high stakes hand. Although most of the guys feign frustration or bemusement, i can see in their eyes, that they too, are getting aroused and now, i, am the one doing the judging, wondering, "if these men i used to hang out with and respect are all fucking dick licking queers" and if "i should just get the hell out of there right now before everybody starts sucking each other's dicks", but i still am trying to hide my massive Dong under the table. Then, magically breaking the tension, Carlos the surrealist takes out a giant crystal of acid, licks it once, uses it to call the standing bet, an alpaca, which lopes idly around the room whistling and spitting. Carlos' eyes goes from an ink drop of blue-green in a milky glass of white, to a huge, black, round disk as he says,
"In the porn I like things are as they are normally, then a slight twist, then everything gets weird. As bare backs and asses become covered in globules of sweat and blood and cum they slowly swirl together, the d.n.a. forming strange new patterns at first golden lizard skins at strange luminous eye colored irises. As the passion and eroticism overcome logic, lovers sprout horns, haloes and tails gain strange and mysterious powers, a penis becomes a shiny veiny gold and red dragon, forked tongue vibrating and hissing as it seeks the warmth of and darkness of a mouth a vagina or an asshole, first simply pieces of human anatomy suddenly transformed into lushes roses, petals of improbable colors, long and sweeping reaching out and beckoning he slithers among them coiling and thrusting until they and he are one smeared abstract shape, a mess of colors and faint, shifting, sucking sounds. Light shines in from everywhere, and all you can see is white light, glare and seamen."
This is a mind blowing type of porn that most of us have never seen before, the description alone is enticing in all of us an insane erotic desire. We begin to stroke our cocks secretly beneath the table, each one judging the others, "fucking queers!" We think, " How can we have been deceived by such obvious deviants, such disgusting, degenerate sexual monsters?" We think, 'What is wrong with me? Where is my impulse control? I am a grown man!" We think, "I should be able to control myself, I am a grown man, I am straight, I'm not some fucking homo that can't keep his dick in his pants!"For nothing though, there is something so satisfying, so invigorating, the high stakes betting, the friendship the pure liquid sexual energy that permeates everything, that we can not brush off and so we keep on, arms thrusting, fist clenching, each one eyes held in a vice grip on their poker hand.
At this point, the red haired samurai has gone completely bankrupt, everything, bank accounts, his house, his monster truck and his thirty foot tall robot dinosaur are gone. Totally defeated and humiliated, he is forced to borrow back his tanto' and commits ritual seppuku. His body, blood and guts splatter across the, and as his legs and arms shake and gyrate, violently scattering poker chips, dollar bills, I.O.U.s, German Kroners and Confederate War Bonds, Barnibus, the sea captain strikes a match from his tinder box against his razor sharp stubble, lights his pipe, squints with his one remaining eye and says,
"In the porn I like everyone has hooks for hands, glass eyes, eyepatches, peg legs and even pegs for dicks, and patches covering their pussies and they fuck each other, all wobbly, sea peg legs, rocking, back and forth, on little freighters and fishing boats and aircraft carriers and in cargo nets and riggings and on the mizzenmast and chained up in the brig, then ejaculate all over each others' haggard faces and get jizz in their beards."
Only the sea captain has seen this type of porn, so the rest of us just nod our heads, not wanting to seem ignorant, uninitiated or childish. The Samurai stops shaking now and we resume making absurdly high stakes bets, using the back of his kimono as a new table. Sam, the dentist from Yonkers who none of us really know that well, but who always brings the craziest weed, bets a glowing, blue, piece of asteroid, found infused in ice somewhere in the core of the North Pole, to raise the lock of Marilyn Monroe's pubic hair offered by the cardinal from Montreal and says that,
" In the porn I like everyone is dancing and singing and swinging their junk around in helicopter motions, until they start to fly, then they are all flying through the clouds, dancing and singing and fucking and swinging their genitals like helicopters and then they all come together, their jizz and cunt juice form a giant cum fountain that shoots, straight through the sky, that sprays all over the face and sticky tits of God, oozing down her stomach, back and ass all the way down to her giant, omni-dimensional cock, veiny and glistening as she jerks herself off, gushing, a giant hot river of rainbow of rainbow, sticky cum, back down, creating a self perpetuating, never ending, cycle of celestial orgasms."
We are all jerking off in earnest now, standing around the table eyeballing one another sickened by ourselves and each other, "these fucking, cock sucking, faggots are probably loving this" i think, but at the same time, i can't help but notice their hard edges, the thick sturdy pieces of meaty flesh, look confusingly, appealing and i am starting to wonder if these words, gay or straight, have any real meaning, where all this hatred and anger are really coming from ? These things are simply dams in an unquenchable river of raw liquid sex, futile efforts to stem and control the unmalleable course of nature but now the turbines have ground to a halt, the lochs have failed and the dam is running over. As i look around, i can see in the eyes of the other men the same thoughts, echoing through their heads, down their spines and into their fat, round, balls, full and ready to burst.
Ozymandias The Destroyer has caught Armando, the peruvian bandit, in a classic bear trap, with a pair of pockets sevens and one on the board, to beat a meager pair of matched tens, in a wager for their life. Ozymandias stops stroking his giant purple and green veiny cock for a second, Enormous, red brain throbbing in its' bulletproof, crystal dome, removes his sonic death ray from its' diamond studded holster, calmly points it at Armando, pops his head like a melon, takes off his liquid nitrogen breathing mask, feasts upon Armando's rotten spinal fluid, resumes masturbating and says,
"In the porn I like, Everyone is getting fucked in their faces and asses by giant evil, hydraulic, fucking machines, with pointy barbed wire, razor cocks, thrust into every orifice and hole and violently extracted until the lips are split and the teeth are broken and the tongue is pulverized and the taint is ripped from crotch to asshole and the sphincter is torn inside out and eventually, there is nothing, nothing, but a smelly, messy puddle, where once there was a person, enraptured in ecstasy, then a new set of people come and fuck in the pile of blood and guts and shit and piss and cum until they are firetruck red, covered in the insides of the ones before them."
We are all jerking each other off in a circle, standing around the mutilated carcasses of the samurai and the bandit now, getting the floor all wet and sticky as one after another we blow are loads in time, whatever reservations we had, about our own and one another's sexuality, are long gone in the wake of our crazy, unquenchable need to cum. Honestly, we are all, to some degree weirded out by Ozymandias' fetish murder porn, but it is new and it is different and the idea of something new, the idea that there are open doors we have never walked through before, is turning us all into wild, hairy sex maniacs, making wild, irrational bets that none of us can afford. Gustavo, the underwear model, wagers his chain of private islands in the pacific ring of fire, Archibald, the british art curator, tsk tsks over his his monocle, strokes his bushy handlebar mustache and responds, with a strong counter raise of his fortified moon palace in the Sea of Tranquility and says, simply,
"In the porn I like, the ladies wear strappy lingerie and booby tassels and they all have great big bushy vaginas!"
We all giggle for a second and then there is an awkward silence, i come, for the eight or ninth time and then realize that everyone is starring at me, then a second later, that it is my turn to bet. i already have four aces, with the turn and the river still coming so i decide not to overplay my hand i call through the round, bet a few paltry crown jewels and since, i have mostly been quiet all night i say,
In the porn i like, the world is always ending and everyone is infinite
people have no names or faces and they melt into one another
an endless sea of skin, a giant rolling orgy, a single sucking entity
In the porn i like, everyone is taking all the drugs and turning into fractals
their brains explode in purple and teal tie die bursts
the fabric of space and time wrap around their drug addled shapeless bodies
In the porn i like, we are the universe making violent, nasty love with itself
In the porn i like, there is no judgment or hatred just rocking hard bodies and lots of free booze
Everyone is smiling and singing and there is a huge Vegas style buffet
In the porn i like, sex gets rough but it never hurts
Unless you want to hurt
like a stretching, sucking, smacking, aching kind of hurt
a "break my dick off in you" kind of hurt
a "I love you so much" kind of hurt
In the porn i like everyone is everywhere and there are no rules to space and time.
old men impregnate their virgin mothers with future versions of themselves
In the porn I like each fuck makes you younger, every arch of your back faster and stronger
In the porn i like everyone is a mother and a father
a bother a sister a teacher and a student
a wonton slut a chaste virgin, a murderer and a saint
In the porn i like the sun is shining and the world is on fire and everyone will surely die at the end.
Everyone has raised and re-raised and we are standing on our chairs, waste deep, in the rising, white tide of frothy jism, still pleasuring ourselves, unable to fulfill the wild compulsive need to cum and cum and cum again, all knowing there is no sex, there is no gender, there is no gay or straight or bi there is only us, now and the way we feel and none of us are so far gone as to deny that truth.
The universe roving god Vishnacarnek brings everybody all in, with a wager for the entire galaxy, black matter and all, which no one has the collateral to raise but the joke is on him, because at this point my aces are a lock and as we go around the table, revealing our hands then blowing our loads, into the now rapidly swirling whirlpool of cum up to our chins, i come for the millionth time and say
In the porn i like everyone is fucking everyone and no one can ever die
then I win the hand, i release my load, a lava hot fire hose of protein and d.n.a., the walls explode, the roof collapses and somewhere in between earth and the moon, astronauts see the milky white pillar, gushing, endlessly, up to heaven and start jerking each other off in their spaceship.
"In the porn I like two woman have sex with a man, they are all curvy, melty lines that press and squeeze against and out, all soft and smooth and gorgeous and perfect. The man is like a chiseled straight line, he is so unbelievably strong, lifting them both up holding them both on top of him, presses them together. He is like a giant boulder and they are like two river spirits, chasing each other around him, posing in the sun and frolicking and eating each other's pussies out."
Then he calls the standing bet, one hundred and twenty five dollars and starts going around the table asking for trade in, i'm a little ashamed now, because as Jason has been talking, i have been imagining his words, so beautiful, so poetic, this vision of innocence and beauty, that i have developed a huge erection, and of course i don't want my male friends to ridicule me, for being aroused in a room full of men, for being gay, So i am furiously avoiding everyone's gaze, trying to act casual but getting progressively harder and harder, as the conversation goes from threesomes, to foursomes, to group sex and orgies and S&M -bondage- whipping- milf- fetish- teenage- cum dripping- backseat- casting couch- boats and then Gus, the stockbroker, with the giant blue afro, that matches his pinstripe suit comes back from his car after running out of money. bets an original 1969 printing of the Rolling Stones "Let It Bleed" as collateral, says,
"In the porn I like everyone has really huge cocks. Big giant cocks, like four feet long, that weigh fifty pounds. Big giant enflamed cocks, that they wave around and smash stuff with and then skinny, skinny, ladies with huge boobs the size of basketballs and lovely dark asterisk shaped, endless assholes that could swallow a man whole, come, and the men smack their huge fat cocks on the giant skinny ladies planet sized boobs and then the big floppy cocks and titties are all slapping together and smashing stuff and jiggling against hot stomachs and asses, just huge, jiggly, face fulls of galaxies of cocks and asses and perky massive tits."
He wins the hand and is right back in the game. We are all murmuring about how the type of porn with the giant, floppy cocks and titties is, as a matter of fact, a very great type of porn but it was a dirty, rotten trick, to distract us in such a high stakes hand. Although most of the guys feign frustration or bemusement, i can see in their eyes, that they too, are getting aroused and now, i, am the one doing the judging, wondering, "if these men i used to hang out with and respect are all fucking dick licking queers" and if "i should just get the hell out of there right now before everybody starts sucking each other's dicks", but i still am trying to hide my massive Dong under the table. Then, magically breaking the tension, Carlos the surrealist takes out a giant crystal of acid, licks it once, uses it to call the standing bet, an alpaca, which lopes idly around the room whistling and spitting. Carlos' eyes goes from an ink drop of blue-green in a milky glass of white, to a huge, black, round disk as he says,
"In the porn I like things are as they are normally, then a slight twist, then everything gets weird. As bare backs and asses become covered in globules of sweat and blood and cum they slowly swirl together, the d.n.a. forming strange new patterns at first golden lizard skins at strange luminous eye colored irises. As the passion and eroticism overcome logic, lovers sprout horns, haloes and tails gain strange and mysterious powers, a penis becomes a shiny veiny gold and red dragon, forked tongue vibrating and hissing as it seeks the warmth of and darkness of a mouth a vagina or an asshole, first simply pieces of human anatomy suddenly transformed into lushes roses, petals of improbable colors, long and sweeping reaching out and beckoning he slithers among them coiling and thrusting until they and he are one smeared abstract shape, a mess of colors and faint, shifting, sucking sounds. Light shines in from everywhere, and all you can see is white light, glare and seamen."
This is a mind blowing type of porn that most of us have never seen before, the description alone is enticing in all of us an insane erotic desire. We begin to stroke our cocks secretly beneath the table, each one judging the others, "fucking queers!" We think, " How can we have been deceived by such obvious deviants, such disgusting, degenerate sexual monsters?" We think, 'What is wrong with me? Where is my impulse control? I am a grown man!" We think, "I should be able to control myself, I am a grown man, I am straight, I'm not some fucking homo that can't keep his dick in his pants!"For nothing though, there is something so satisfying, so invigorating, the high stakes betting, the friendship the pure liquid sexual energy that permeates everything, that we can not brush off and so we keep on, arms thrusting, fist clenching, each one eyes held in a vice grip on their poker hand.
At this point, the red haired samurai has gone completely bankrupt, everything, bank accounts, his house, his monster truck and his thirty foot tall robot dinosaur are gone. Totally defeated and humiliated, he is forced to borrow back his tanto' and commits ritual seppuku. His body, blood and guts splatter across the, and as his legs and arms shake and gyrate, violently scattering poker chips, dollar bills, I.O.U.s, German Kroners and Confederate War Bonds, Barnibus, the sea captain strikes a match from his tinder box against his razor sharp stubble, lights his pipe, squints with his one remaining eye and says,
"In the porn I like everyone has hooks for hands, glass eyes, eyepatches, peg legs and even pegs for dicks, and patches covering their pussies and they fuck each other, all wobbly, sea peg legs, rocking, back and forth, on little freighters and fishing boats and aircraft carriers and in cargo nets and riggings and on the mizzenmast and chained up in the brig, then ejaculate all over each others' haggard faces and get jizz in their beards."
Only the sea captain has seen this type of porn, so the rest of us just nod our heads, not wanting to seem ignorant, uninitiated or childish. The Samurai stops shaking now and we resume making absurdly high stakes bets, using the back of his kimono as a new table. Sam, the dentist from Yonkers who none of us really know that well, but who always brings the craziest weed, bets a glowing, blue, piece of asteroid, found infused in ice somewhere in the core of the North Pole, to raise the lock of Marilyn Monroe's pubic hair offered by the cardinal from Montreal and says that,
" In the porn I like everyone is dancing and singing and swinging their junk around in helicopter motions, until they start to fly, then they are all flying through the clouds, dancing and singing and fucking and swinging their genitals like helicopters and then they all come together, their jizz and cunt juice form a giant cum fountain that shoots, straight through the sky, that sprays all over the face and sticky tits of God, oozing down her stomach, back and ass all the way down to her giant, omni-dimensional cock, veiny and glistening as she jerks herself off, gushing, a giant hot river of rainbow of rainbow, sticky cum, back down, creating a self perpetuating, never ending, cycle of celestial orgasms."
We are all jerking off in earnest now, standing around the table eyeballing one another sickened by ourselves and each other, "these fucking, cock sucking, faggots are probably loving this" i think, but at the same time, i can't help but notice their hard edges, the thick sturdy pieces of meaty flesh, look confusingly, appealing and i am starting to wonder if these words, gay or straight, have any real meaning, where all this hatred and anger are really coming from ? These things are simply dams in an unquenchable river of raw liquid sex, futile efforts to stem and control the unmalleable course of nature but now the turbines have ground to a halt, the lochs have failed and the dam is running over. As i look around, i can see in the eyes of the other men the same thoughts, echoing through their heads, down their spines and into their fat, round, balls, full and ready to burst.
Ozymandias The Destroyer has caught Armando, the peruvian bandit, in a classic bear trap, with a pair of pockets sevens and one on the board, to beat a meager pair of matched tens, in a wager for their life. Ozymandias stops stroking his giant purple and green veiny cock for a second, Enormous, red brain throbbing in its' bulletproof, crystal dome, removes his sonic death ray from its' diamond studded holster, calmly points it at Armando, pops his head like a melon, takes off his liquid nitrogen breathing mask, feasts upon Armando's rotten spinal fluid, resumes masturbating and says,
"In the porn I like, Everyone is getting fucked in their faces and asses by giant evil, hydraulic, fucking machines, with pointy barbed wire, razor cocks, thrust into every orifice and hole and violently extracted until the lips are split and the teeth are broken and the tongue is pulverized and the taint is ripped from crotch to asshole and the sphincter is torn inside out and eventually, there is nothing, nothing, but a smelly, messy puddle, where once there was a person, enraptured in ecstasy, then a new set of people come and fuck in the pile of blood and guts and shit and piss and cum until they are firetruck red, covered in the insides of the ones before them."
We are all jerking each other off in a circle, standing around the mutilated carcasses of the samurai and the bandit now, getting the floor all wet and sticky as one after another we blow are loads in time, whatever reservations we had, about our own and one another's sexuality, are long gone in the wake of our crazy, unquenchable need to cum. Honestly, we are all, to some degree weirded out by Ozymandias' fetish murder porn, but it is new and it is different and the idea of something new, the idea that there are open doors we have never walked through before, is turning us all into wild, hairy sex maniacs, making wild, irrational bets that none of us can afford. Gustavo, the underwear model, wagers his chain of private islands in the pacific ring of fire, Archibald, the british art curator, tsk tsks over his his monocle, strokes his bushy handlebar mustache and responds, with a strong counter raise of his fortified moon palace in the Sea of Tranquility and says, simply,
"In the porn I like, the ladies wear strappy lingerie and booby tassels and they all have great big bushy vaginas!"
We all giggle for a second and then there is an awkward silence, i come, for the eight or ninth time and then realize that everyone is starring at me, then a second later, that it is my turn to bet. i already have four aces, with the turn and the river still coming so i decide not to overplay my hand i call through the round, bet a few paltry crown jewels and since, i have mostly been quiet all night i say,
In the porn i like, the world is always ending and everyone is infinite
people have no names or faces and they melt into one another
an endless sea of skin, a giant rolling orgy, a single sucking entity
In the porn i like, everyone is taking all the drugs and turning into fractals
their brains explode in purple and teal tie die bursts
the fabric of space and time wrap around their drug addled shapeless bodies
In the porn i like, we are the universe making violent, nasty love with itself
In the porn i like, there is no judgment or hatred just rocking hard bodies and lots of free booze
Everyone is smiling and singing and there is a huge Vegas style buffet
In the porn i like, sex gets rough but it never hurts
Unless you want to hurt
like a stretching, sucking, smacking, aching kind of hurt
a "break my dick off in you" kind of hurt
a "I love you so much" kind of hurt
In the porn i like everyone is everywhere and there are no rules to space and time.
old men impregnate their virgin mothers with future versions of themselves
In the porn I like each fuck makes you younger, every arch of your back faster and stronger
In the porn i like everyone is a mother and a father
a bother a sister a teacher and a student
a wonton slut a chaste virgin, a murderer and a saint
In the porn i like the sun is shining and the world is on fire and everyone will surely die at the end.
Everyone has raised and re-raised and we are standing on our chairs, waste deep, in the rising, white tide of frothy jism, still pleasuring ourselves, unable to fulfill the wild compulsive need to cum and cum and cum again, all knowing there is no sex, there is no gender, there is no gay or straight or bi there is only us, now and the way we feel and none of us are so far gone as to deny that truth.
The universe roving god Vishnacarnek brings everybody all in, with a wager for the entire galaxy, black matter and all, which no one has the collateral to raise but the joke is on him, because at this point my aces are a lock and as we go around the table, revealing our hands then blowing our loads, into the now rapidly swirling whirlpool of cum up to our chins, i come for the millionth time and say
In the porn i like everyone is fucking everyone and no one can ever die
then I win the hand, i release my load, a lava hot fire hose of protein and d.n.a., the walls explode, the roof collapses and somewhere in between earth and the moon, astronauts see the milky white pillar, gushing, endlessly, up to heaven and start jerking each other off in their spaceship.