How it Feels to Die

When Anne wiped her tears away, it was Charlie that she saw standing over her. He was so tall, and he was shining. It was like Charlie had absorbed the light of the moon. Anne thought he was so beautiful like that. Charlie was definitely cuter than Alex, Anne decided. He was much cuter, and very beautiful. And even though she was still lost, Anne didn't feel sad anymore. Anne felt happy. As a matter of fact, Anne had never felt as happy before as she did then because she wasn't alone anymore.

So Anne jumped to her feet and ran towards him with her arms outstretched. But the most peculiar thing happened. She didn't understand why she was still on the ground, staring at a bed of roots and dead leaves. And Anne stared up at Charlie with confused and puffy eyes.

"Charlie?"

"Yes Anne?"

"I just ran through you, didn't I?"

"Yes Anne."

Anne stood, and kept staring at Charlie. She never met a ghost before. And quite frankly, Anne was fascinated even more by it. Quite frankly, she thought it made Charlie even more beautiful. So Anne smiled a great big smile. The one that always made her dad laugh and nip at her cheeks affectionately. The smile that made her mum embrace her in a tight hold and tell her how much she loved her. It was that smile. Not many people got see it. You were lucky if you did. And even though Charlie didn't really know this fact, he smiled too. Even in death, he could see that that smile was a gift that he was lucky to get.

But then Anne frowned, and it made Charlie frown too.

"But … Charlie. That means you're dead too."

Charlie's heart became heavy again with grief, because it was a reminder. He was dead.

With his dull grey eyes downcast, he nods solemnly.

Then, Anne started crying again. And it startled Charlie. He took two steps toward her, but he didn't know what to do. He couldn't touch her, or hug her. He felt more grief upon the grief he had been suffering for the past 50 years.

"Anne? … Anne? Please don't cry."

"But you're dead," she said between sniffles.

"Yes b-but. It's not all bad being dead."

"Really?"

"Yes. I don't feel pain anymore," he lied. For him, the pain he felt when he died was nothing compared to the pain he felt now. He was an entity, drifting endlessly with no one to talk to and no one to love. All he had were his horrific memories. A cruel fate was a ghost's life.

Anne's tears dried, and she smiled again, and Charlie smiled too.

"Charlie? Can you help me get back to my family? I'm lost I think."

Charlie frowned. Charlie became sad. He didn't want her to leave him. He didn't want to be alone. Not you too Anne, he thought.

Charlie was selfish.

"Okay. Follow me, I'll take you to them," he lied.

Charlie lead her away far into the woods, far away from her family. He wanted her to stay with him. Lovely Anne, sweet Anne, beautiful Anne that loved to ask a lot of questions. Anne with the smile that brought the dead to life, if only for a moment. He wanted her to stay with him forever. And he knew just what to do.

"Charlie?" she asked as they trotted softly under the night sky.

"Yes Anne?"

"How did it feel when you died?"

"I'll show you," he said to her behind him.

"Did it hurt?"

"No, it didn't."

"Okay."