Paper Cranes

“You need to tell him, Josh. You can blame me. You can tell him that it was all my fault, and it was. But you need to tell him.”
“It’s not just your fault. I’m just as guilty as you are.”

I was on Skype with Austin while Dad and Cruella were downstairs planning the wedding.

I wasn’t mad at Austin. I forgave him. People make mistakes all of the time.

But this one. This one mistake will ruin my relationship with Ricky.

“He’ll never forgive me, Austin…”
“How are you so sure about that?”

Actually, I wasn’t.

I could only hope that he would forgive me and put the whole thing behind us.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

“The sooner you tell him, the more time you’ll have to fix and mend things.”

I thought about it for a second, and then I nodded.

“I’ll tell him.”
“Good, now I have to go. Dad needs help tidying up the garage. Bye.”
“Bye…”

He signed off, leaving me in my quiet room.

I picked up my phone from the desk, contemplating if I should text him or not.

I have to tell him.

I have to tell him.

‘Hey.’
I typed on the keyboard and pressed ‘SEND’.

A vibration.

‘Hi.’

I typed again.

‘I need to talk to you about something. Something important.’

Another vibration.

‘I need to talk to you too…Meet me at my house?’

‘Actually. Why don’t you come over my house? I’ll meet you at the pier to take you.’

‘Okay. I’ll leave in about 5 min.’
‘Okay.’

I looked outside.

It’s getting dark. I need to hurry.

I got up from the bed and put a random pair of skinny jeans on.
I threw on my jacket, slipped on my shoes and grabbed my phone.

I locked my door before I opened the balcony door, stepping outside.
I climbed down using a nearby tree branch and dashed towards the pier.

I can’t back out.

I have to tell him.

I reached the pier and there he was, hugging himself to keep warm.
I took a second to catch my breath before greeting him.

He gave me his usual small smile.

“Are you ready to go?”
He nodded.

I held his hand in mine as we walked back.

I squeezed it gently, and he squeezed back.

This might be the last time I can do this.

We reached my house and sat on a bench that was near the beach.

‘You never told me you were close to the ocean.’
“Yeah. Sorry…”

There was a moment of silence.

‘What did you want to talk to me about?’

I sighed.

Here it goes.

I placed my hand on his, looking into his eyes.

“I’ve done something terrible. Something that I can’t ever take back.”

He gave me a questioning look.

“I…I…I cheated on you, Ricky…I was upset about my Dad getting married. I went to Austin’s house…I-I got drunk and…”

A tear rolled down my cheek.

“I’m sorry, Ricky…! I’m so fucking sorry! I love you so much, and I never meant for any of that to happen…!”

Ricky placed a hand on my cheek and wiped away the tears with his thumb.

“Ricky…?”

‘It’s my fault too. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most. If I hadn’t ignored you, then maybe…I mean…I am hurt that you did what you did, but…I forgive you. And I’m sorry myself.’

I shook my head and pulled him into my arms.

“I don’t understand how you could forgive me so easily…”
He hugged me back and snuggled into my chest.

“I don’t…either…”

“We’re such a weird couple.”
“Yeah…”

I looked up at the sky to see the stars already appearing.

“It’s late, I should take you home.”
He shook his head.

“I…want…to stay…with you…”

I couldn’t help but smile.

“We should get inside then. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”
He nodded in agreement and we both climbed up the tree and onto the balcony.

I led him into my room and closed the balcony door.
~+~+~+~+~

‘I told him the truth. Strangely, he forgave me, but I’m not going to complain. The beautiful boy is in my bed, sleeping peacefully. I didn’t take his virginity. I want to wait until we’re married.

Well…I hope that we will get married one day.’

I glanced at him and smiled.

‘Honestly, I lost the feelings for the girl I met about ten years ago. They’ve been replaced by the feelings that I have for Ricky.

She’s just a long lost friend now, but I still wonder how she is right now.

Maybe she’s a popular straight A student who has a loving boyfriend or girlfriend.
Maybe she’s in her room right now, wondering how I’m doing.

I guess I’ll never know. And you know what?

I’m okay with that.’

I placed the pen on the ground and took out the paper crane that was taped to the back.

I examined it’s perfect folding once again, but noticed that there was a black mark in the inside of the wing.

Pen?

I carefully unfolded it, revealing semi-legible, handwritten letter.

‘Dear Josh,

Maybe I should have told you that I was going someplace far away, but I didn’t want you to be mad at me. At least I know that we will be best friends forever, even if we don’t play together anymore. I still hope to see you and play with you and fly paper airplanes together one day.

Also, please don’t forget me. Be sure to remember my name.

If you don’t, I’ll be very sad.

But, I’ll give it to you in this letter, just in case you forget.

I’ll be sad that you forgot, but I’ll forgive you if you remember.

Love, your best friend forever,

Ricky Olson’

I stared at the paper in shock for at least a good thirty seconds, before I looked at the boy sleeping in my bed.

I looked back at the letter and smiled.

“Well fuck.”

I folded the letter back into its original shape and taped it back into my journal.
I closed the book and stuffed it into its spot in the mattress before I climbed back into bed with Ricky, carefully wrapping an arm around him.

“Sweet dreams, Ricky Olson.”