How the English Language Met Its Demise
The End of English
Luckily, my dorm was on the first floor, so David and I were able to escape quite easily. Then we ran faster than we had every run before. The cold air felt as if it were tearing up my lungs, but I did not stop to rest. I could hear the students stampeding out the front door. They must have seen us through someone's window.
"They're after us, Jeremy!" David wheezed, trying hard not to slow down.
"We can outrun them! Think of the world! Think of the English language!"
I felt that our sacred mission was about to be completed when I could see a little black car in the distance. It was too far away, though. The crowd was gaining on us. When we were within ten yards of our goal, hands seized me and dragged me into the shrieking students. As I was being swallowed by the crowd, I desperately flung the dictionary into the air like a Frisbee.
What happened next seemed to go in slow motion. Imagine it. About a hundred students leaped into the air like gazelles, a very athletic F.B.I. agent bolted from his little car and charged for the flying book, and David swam through the wall of airborne students. Fingertips touched the floating book, only sending it higher and out of their reach. Everyone who pursued the book in its flight collapsed into each other. An avalanche of students fell on top of me. With everyone rendered immobile, the dictionary slowly descended. No one could reach it. It skidded across the ground, did a little jump when it hit a bump, and slid down a sewage grate as we all screamed, "Noooooooooo!"
And that, dear reader, was the end of English.
"They're after us, Jeremy!" David wheezed, trying hard not to slow down.
"We can outrun them! Think of the world! Think of the English language!"
I felt that our sacred mission was about to be completed when I could see a little black car in the distance. It was too far away, though. The crowd was gaining on us. When we were within ten yards of our goal, hands seized me and dragged me into the shrieking students. As I was being swallowed by the crowd, I desperately flung the dictionary into the air like a Frisbee.
What happened next seemed to go in slow motion. Imagine it. About a hundred students leaped into the air like gazelles, a very athletic F.B.I. agent bolted from his little car and charged for the flying book, and David swam through the wall of airborne students. Fingertips touched the floating book, only sending it higher and out of their reach. Everyone who pursued the book in its flight collapsed into each other. An avalanche of students fell on top of me. With everyone rendered immobile, the dictionary slowly descended. No one could reach it. It skidded across the ground, did a little jump when it hit a bump, and slid down a sewage grate as we all screamed, "Noooooooooo!"
And that, dear reader, was the end of English.
♠ ♠ ♠
The end.