Beautiful Mistake
Bum
It seems so long ago, when we first met. I barely remember the girl I was then, before the all night partying, before the death threats, before the glitz and glamour. Sometimes I read the diary entries that I had written all those days ago and can hardly believe that it was still me.
He’s changed me and sometimes or a lot of the time I think not for the better. When we met, I had just graduated from the Royal Ballet School. I had dreams and aspirations then and I was naïve to think that being Zayn’s girlfriend wouldn’t take over my life that I could keep my personal and professional life separate that I wouldn’t lose myself.
How wrong I was.
I remember when we first met. My friends dragged me to Old Paul’s to celebrate finishing our last performance as students and wanting to drink till we forgot about how awful we performed. After about three rounds of beers, I needed a break from the loud, drunken babble. I needed a smoke. Nothing like a good cigarette to ease the stress.
The warm air heightened my buzzed stupor. “Can I bum one of those?” I asked, my eyes instantly focused on his lips. A lit cigarette hung out of the corner of his perfectly shaped mouth.
The end glowed as he took a deep drag, “Sure, Camels okay?”
“Yeah anything is great.”
“One of those days?” He laughed and handed me a cigarette.
“One of those days,” I placed the cigarette between my lips, “Do you have a light?”
“Sure,” He flicked his Zippo.
I leaned in and then he reached around with his hand to cup around the flame, something we would do if it was windy. But it wasn’t windy. I think maybe he just wanted to touch my hands because while I was lighting the cigarette, he held my hands for longer than necessary. Maybe he wanted me to see his face over the glow of the match. To see how handsome he was. I don’t know. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t figure out from where. “Thanks,” I exhaled.
“No problem.”
“Mind if I chill here with you for a while?”
“Not at all.”
I leaned against the brick wall. We said a few things. And it was his voice. I recognized his voice. So, I asked for another cigarette and looked at his face again and thought hard and that’s when I figured it out! It was him! He was part of One Direction!
“Nice night,” He said.
I couldn’t believe it! I guess I managed to nod because he kept talking. All I could say was “So what’s it like being on television?”
He looked at me and laughed, “It’s cool, I guess.”
Maybe it was the wrong thing to say because he immediately changed the subject.
“What’s that tattoo mean?” He pointed at the inked words on my shoulder.
It was in a typewriter font, “It says ‘Mary had a little Lamb.’ It’s for my Mom. Her name was Mary. She passed away two years ago.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bum you out,” He pulled down the front of his shirt to reveal a small Arabic inscription, “I got this for my Grandfather. It’s his name in Arabic.”
“I guess we both know what it’s like to love and lose.”
“Something I could have lived without,” He laughed. I liked the way he laughed, “I’ll buy you a drink to make up for the fact that I kind of put a damper on the night.”
“You don’t have to. I already got two of your cigarettes.”
“Don’t worry about it. I want to.”
He’s changed me and sometimes or a lot of the time I think not for the better. When we met, I had just graduated from the Royal Ballet School. I had dreams and aspirations then and I was naïve to think that being Zayn’s girlfriend wouldn’t take over my life that I could keep my personal and professional life separate that I wouldn’t lose myself.
How wrong I was.
I remember when we first met. My friends dragged me to Old Paul’s to celebrate finishing our last performance as students and wanting to drink till we forgot about how awful we performed. After about three rounds of beers, I needed a break from the loud, drunken babble. I needed a smoke. Nothing like a good cigarette to ease the stress.
The warm air heightened my buzzed stupor. “Can I bum one of those?” I asked, my eyes instantly focused on his lips. A lit cigarette hung out of the corner of his perfectly shaped mouth.
The end glowed as he took a deep drag, “Sure, Camels okay?”
“Yeah anything is great.”
“One of those days?” He laughed and handed me a cigarette.
“One of those days,” I placed the cigarette between my lips, “Do you have a light?”
“Sure,” He flicked his Zippo.
I leaned in and then he reached around with his hand to cup around the flame, something we would do if it was windy. But it wasn’t windy. I think maybe he just wanted to touch my hands because while I was lighting the cigarette, he held my hands for longer than necessary. Maybe he wanted me to see his face over the glow of the match. To see how handsome he was. I don’t know. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t figure out from where. “Thanks,” I exhaled.
“No problem.”
“Mind if I chill here with you for a while?”
“Not at all.”
I leaned against the brick wall. We said a few things. And it was his voice. I recognized his voice. So, I asked for another cigarette and looked at his face again and thought hard and that’s when I figured it out! It was him! He was part of One Direction!
“Nice night,” He said.
I couldn’t believe it! I guess I managed to nod because he kept talking. All I could say was “So what’s it like being on television?”
He looked at me and laughed, “It’s cool, I guess.”
Maybe it was the wrong thing to say because he immediately changed the subject.
“What’s that tattoo mean?” He pointed at the inked words on my shoulder.
It was in a typewriter font, “It says ‘Mary had a little Lamb.’ It’s for my Mom. Her name was Mary. She passed away two years ago.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bum you out,” He pulled down the front of his shirt to reveal a small Arabic inscription, “I got this for my Grandfather. It’s his name in Arabic.”
“I guess we both know what it’s like to love and lose.”
“Something I could have lived without,” He laughed. I liked the way he laughed, “I’ll buy you a drink to make up for the fact that I kind of put a damper on the night.”
“You don’t have to. I already got two of your cigarettes.”
“Don’t worry about it. I want to.”