Contempt

The next few days were nothing special at all. Charlotte and I worked at the restaurant; we got home, ate and went to sleep. It was like we were back on a normal work schedule. All we had ever wanted for our restaurant was for it to be bringing in revenue and have a nice atmosphere. I think we accomplished that pretty well. We couldn’t go out making superfluous purchases, like all the designer clothing Charlotte liked to buy. Luckily, I’m an easy person to care for, so I usually give half or my entire budget to Mrs. Money-spender. I’d never let her know that, though. She likes to think that she stays within budget all by herself and is a responsible adult. She definitely means well, so I’ll let her have her fun while she can.

I hadn’t seen Kyo or the rest of his bandmates since I had the horrifyingly romantic encounter with him. I suppose that did give me some time to think about what happened and rationalize what my next move would be. However, all this time has done so far was put my brain in a blender. I was flustered, confused and just overall angry. Why do people swoon over him so much? He is such an arrogant ass, thinking he can have whatever he wants whenever he pleases. That life to him is just a little ‘game’ and he is the only one who knows how to play it.

Whenever I thought about this, it sent little tingles of rage up my body and made my forehead warm with fury. My mind couldn’t wrap around the fact that a human being set up his entire life purpose around living like that. Maybe I was only angry out of ignorance, but then again, maybe it was for an actual cause.

There was something, a good from the bad, a light in the darkness, a flower in the field of weeds that kept me attracted to him. When I spoke to Charlotte about it, very briefly of course, I don’t like to express my feelings to her much, she just told me it was because I have terrible taste in men. Which I do believe, I’ve had some very bad and bone rattling relationships in the past.

A heavy sigh left my mouth as I collapsed onto the couch. I let my body fall over the entire object, which was designed for three people. I rested my feet up on the arm rest, hoping they would stop pulsating and feeling like hell. It was a busy day at our restaurant today; I was stuck running to every table and back to the kitchen fifty times in a second. All of our other normal waitresses cancelled on us today for other obligations.

Charlotte keeps talking about expanding our shop. We do have enough money saved up, and there is a bigger and available space for rent right next to us – but the new place and all the remodeling would suck up all of our cash. Plus, we would need new employees (at least we could hire some that don’t cancel on us) and just thinking about all of the new stuff we would need makes my head want to explode. I have been worked to the bare bone. Somebody took my body, twisted me up, and rung out all my energy for the week – and it was only Wednesday.

The room fell completely silent, except for the noises of Charlotte rummaging around in the kitchen. It felt so nice to be in my own space, knowing what was going on, and having control of the situation. Nobody was running in to ask me questions – it was silent. I closed my eyes and let my head fall to the side. My muscles finally un-tensed as I curled myself into a ball, ready for my nap.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I reached for my head and clenched it with all my might. The silent room I fell asleep in was now noisier than ever. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes, hoping they wouldn’t fall out of my throbbing head. I rolled over so that my face wasn’t crammed in between the cushions of the couch. Little to my knowledge, Charlotte had invited a myriad of people to our house; some of them, I wasn’t even sure if I knew. I quickly scanned the room, and picked out a select few that I recognized: the visible members of Dir en grey and May. I guess those really were the only people I knew. Aside from Charlotte, I really had no other friends. Life was always so busy, and I never had time to go out and do social events. I was always picking up Charlotte’s slack. But, that’s my life and I’m used to it.

I felt a cold breeze in the room and shrieked when I realized that my skirt was lifted up from the position I was in. My face turned a bright tomato red as I smoothed out the fabric, making sure my butt was no longer visible. There was a least twenty people in our apartment, I hope that all of them didn’t see my butt.

Charlotte walked by and I sprung up to talk to her.

She flashed a generous smile and rubbed my arm. “Look who’s finally up!”

“Who are all these people and why are they here right now?” I rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes, but it didn’t work.

“I was lonely, and you were asleep.” She flicked her long blonde hair behind her shoulder, “besides, we’re always so busy with work; I thought it would be night to relax and have some friends over!” Die walked by and snatched her away from me in a single movement. She waved from afar, and then turned around to attend to Die.

I groaned and continued back to my room, not wanting any of this right now. I was never a people person, and especially not when I am half-awake with a killer migraine.

Dragging my feet across the wood floors, I continued to my room, shooing everyone out of my way and out of my room so that I may sleep peacefully, and this time, undisturbed. I rolled over in my bed and spread my legs out, taking up my entire queen sized mattress. I let out a smile and shut out all the noise.

In the midst of my lucid dream, I heard a bump in my room. I shrugged it off as nothing until there was another, and then five more. It sounded like somebody was picking things up in my room and moving them everywhere.

My eyes shot open, thinking Charlotte was going through my stuff. “Char, stop…” I mumbled. It sounded like I had cotton in my mouth, and what I said was barely comprehensible.

There was a chuckle from the other side of the room that definitely didn’t sound like Charlotte. Anticipating who it was, I waited for my eyes to clear up so the stranger’s face wasn’t just a big blur.

Little to my knowledge, it wasn’t a stranger at all, but someone whom I knew way too well.

I let out a large sigh and threw my pillow over my face, hoping that would make him go away.

“Nice underwear” Kyo retorted.

My body stiffened as I remembered I fell asleep with my legs open, and forgot to lock the door. “Not twice in the same day” I groaned to myself. “Kyo, why are you in here? I didn’t even invite you. I don’t even like you.”

“I like the little daisies on them. They’re cute” He bantered

“You didn’t answer my question.” I said as I took the pillow off of my face and looked at him. “And thanks.”

“I got to see them twice today.” He winked and sat down next to me, “Charlotte invited all of us over today. I didn’t want to be with a bunch of people I didn’t know, so I figured I’d hang out in here for a while. I didn’t know you were sleeping in here, I promise. It was just the closest door to me.”

I rolled my eyes. “I guess it really doesn’t matter why you came in here, it isn’t going to make you leave. How long has everyone been here? And what time even is it? I’ve been out of touch with reality since I got home from work.”

“Toshiya drug is to the party early, and we got here at like 7 P.M. But I guess everyone else arrived an hour later –” He stopped talking and rolled up his sleeve to look at his watch (that I’d never seen him wear until now), “and right now it is 2 in the morning.”

I groaned and carelessly sat myself up on the bed while simultaneously fixing my hair. “I guess I should have expected this type of behavior from Charlotte. Plus, I feel bad that we haven’t had any free time…” I scrunched my lips as I realized what a fun stopper I’d been. She’d offered to go out a thousand times and I had always said no. I guess this is what she really deserved and I shouldn’t be complaining. I put my head in my hands and loudly swallowed the spit that was collecting in my mouth. I tightly closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

After a few moments of contemplating, I lifted my head up to see Kyo still sitting there and staring at me. The look in his eyes changed, it wasn’t malicious or about getting what he wanted. Maybe it was the lack of sleep getting to me, or maybe he had too much to drink. Whatever it was, I was going to go with it because I needed somebody to talk to right now. Half awake and angry, I opened my mouth to rant, but he stopped me before I could utter a single letter.

“I know you feel ridiculous now and like you are nothing but a nuisance to your friend. If you have ever seen me interact with my band mates, you know that I am nothing but horrible to them. But sometimes people need an opposite to balance themselves out. If it weren’t for you keeping Charlotte’s little mind sane, she would be out doing crazy things every night. Pushing back isn’t always a bad thing.”

I closed my mouth and let his words sink into my head.

Looking down, I played with the hem of my skirt and let out a long breath. “God damnit…” I quietly muttered

He didn’t move a muscle.

“God-” I was only able to get half of the world out before covering my face with my hands this time.

I heard Kyo nervously shift on the bed

“Why do you have to be right? Why do little pricks like you always have everything” I opened my mouth and let in a shaky breath.

Letting down my guard, and letting the entire world fall on my shoulders, I collapsed on the bed. I fell right before his crossed legs and wept. I thought about work, relationships, my parents, Charlotte, money – the whole nine yards. I grabbed onto his leg and used it to conceal my tears. I didn’t care what he thought; I didn’t care what anyone thought. I just wanted this stress to go away. I wanted to dissolve into the bed and cease to exist and have any responsibilities.

He cautiously put his hand on the top of my head and let it sit there while I cried on him. “Well,” he quietly began, “I guess this is still better than the party.”