I Love You and Only You, Forever and Always (part 2)

Yes it was 2007 and it was 6th grade, and i had no idea I had seen the girl i was going to make so many memories with. At first she was just a friend, a girl who was shy and kept to herself and her friends. we never really talked much, but that was because i was shy too. i had started to look at you like i had never seen a girl before. I had goosebumps every time i would look at you, every time i saw you walk by even if you didnt see me. I remember we dated, but in middle school dating just meant that i liked you and you liked me. i remember i gave you this plastic ring with a pink plastic diamond in the middle of it and i saw you put it on at lunch. that made my day.

The rest of middle school was on and off for me and you. i specifically remember 8th grade when we had the elective classes together. you sat across from me in cooking or whatever you call it, and i remember your smile. you wore a green shirt one day, it was kind of a long sleeve but not so short to where it was a short sleeve. i remember someone asked (jokingly) if i liked when you put your hair up or down. i just remember wanting to say that i didnt care the way you had it as long as i got to look at you. in middle school you would never be able to tell if you love someone, but i could. then at the 8th grade dance you broke up with me and said you wanted to be single for high school. man that killed me...i tried to forget but it took the whole summer, even if there were nights (mostly every night) that i would cry because you were done with me.

That summer, i saw on facebook you were dating Tyler. that made me so angry, but i got over it because i saw that you were happy. then when we started high school we started talking again. even if we considered eachother just friends i was ok with it because i knew i would be able to talk to you whenever i needed it. then it started to go bad with you and tyler. i wanted to say just break up with him but i couldnt because i wanted the best for you...i wanted to give you support and help you get passed it. and i think i did help.

But then 2 girls liked me. i thought i wouldnt have a chance with you so i thought maybe it was a good thing. i couldnt decide between who i liked more but i never realized it was you that i liked the most. i would talk to you about it day after day and it mustve hurt you...i remember breaking up with her not knowing that you liked me. she got mad and screamed i just went out with her just to wait for you to be done with your relationship. then it was my turn with you.

It was the superbowl and i was sitting in my nanas house watching with jesse. I remember our bet too. If the colts won, you could do whatever you wanted but if the saints won, i take you to a movie. I remember telling jesse that "this play is going to change the game" and it did. Peyton threw the ball straight into reggie bush's hands and he runs it back for the Touchdown. I remember my heart was so happy when i won the bet. life never felt like a dream until then. i had to pinch myself to see if it was a dream that the girl i was in love with was going on a date with me.

That day, February 13th 2010, was the most impatient day i had in my life. i remember looking at the clock just waiting till the time i would meet you at the movies. i was so scared i was going to screw up and say something wrong, but i didnt. i grabbed your hand during the movie and didnt move because i didnt want to let go of your hand. then that night i asked you to be my girlfriend, not knowing at that moment i had changed my life forever...

That night at virginia beach was the most amazing night of my life. I didnt know if you loved me or not, so i just had to say it to make sure. and you said it back. we walked the boardwalk for awhile in silence, then i grabbed you and kissed you...it was the most awkward kiss i have ever had, but it was the best kiss i have ever had too...right then i knew we'd be together forever...

Then it was a few years later, and i was being blinded by people. People saying you werent good for me and you made me have no friends...and they got to me. I made the worst mistake i have ever made in my life twice, just because of a person who was jealous. Mistakes happen, and thats why ive been trying so hard to get you back and keep you here with me. but ive come to realize that in time, another person has made you feel good again. he's made you feel like i used to make you feel. you cant stop thinking about him, hes all that is on your mind...You made mistakes recently and i know you didnt mean to, you just didnt want to hurt me. I know that he is who you want to be with right now, who you want to kiss, who you want to fall asleep next to, who you want to talk to whenever you feel sad. that was me...and i blew it...you say i still have half your heart, but you have my whole heart. it sounds corny, but you do hold the key to it...

I didnt write this to make you do anything...i wrote this for me, because it is impossible for me to say this to you right now... Your going to do what you want and i understand, i know your going to be with him...while your with him, i will try and get back out there too but it will be hard. i might date, i might go on a few dates, but in the end it is you. its always been you. I know he is always on your mind, but i hope that in time you know my love for you will hopefully win your heart back. not just 50 percent of it, all of it. It's my turn to do what you did in may, fight for what i know is right. even if it takes time, i will never stop loving you like i have since the first day in 2007 i first saw you...i hope that your love for me is still there and your not finished with me...i dont want to be an ex, i want to be the one who was there and stayed there. your always going to be my first and last love.

2/13/10 - I love you and only you, forever and always my manda bear<3
You can think this is corny or whatever, but i just needed to say this. I hope you read it like i read yours...