My Mother Loves Me, but Does My Father Even Care?

Dear Diary,
I've been told I look just like my Dad when he was my age, we even share the same name but he's also know as The Rev. Throughout my whole life I have had a difficult relationship with my Dad. As far back as I can remember, he has been distant, even when he was in the same room as me. He sees me as a burden. A responsibility that he doesn't want to take on. Those are his words, I have heard him saying them to my Mom. And I have never understood why. Maybe it's because I never made an effort with him. But as my Mom says, for a relationship to work, two people need to put the effort in.
I wish I had a better relationship with my Dad, growing up without a reliable Father figure is difficult. I want him to be interested in my life and help me through choices I find hard to make, but that's just not him. He's too busy in his career to take care of his family. He's too stubborn to make an effort. But I still wish we did have a relationship. I used to wish on shooting stars that he would care and even with four leaf clovers, hoping for luck that he would notice me. Now, I give up.
My Dad always leaves unexpectedly, usually without informing any of us. I live in a house with my Mom, Dad and Uncle Frankie. He's my Dad's brother but it's amazing how different they are from each other. They might have been raised differently, or my Dad might have a bad nature. Or he might just be like this around me and my Mom. Maybe it's us he doesn't like. Maybe it's us that put him in a bad mood constantly.
I remember when I was a child, I tried desperately to get his attention. But never got a response from him, unless it was to tell me to get out of his room or if he was just shouting at me in general. My Mom stuck up for me most of the time, but I know she was frightened of him when he got angry. Everyone seemed to be, apart from Frankie.
I often wonder that if I did have a better relationship with my Dad, whether my life would be different. You know, like when people say that the smallest things can make big changes. I wonder if I would be a different person then I am today if we got along. If we had a decent relationship, would I be as close with my Mom?
I appreciate the people who are in my life. I'd be lost without my Mom, I can't imagine a day without her and it hurts to think I'll have to live without her when she passes away. I suppose I kind of attached myself to her because I have such a poor relationship with my other parent. She has always been there for me through thick and thin. Like parents are supposed to be. They're supposed to love you no matter what, because they have helped you grow and helped you become the person you are today.
My Uncle Frankie is another person that I can't remember a day without. He's been like a Father figure to me, but of course, nothing would compare to actually having a Father. My best, and basically only, friend is the most reliable person I know. I've known Damon since I was 2, and we clicked straight away. He lived with Foster parents until he was 16, now he lives in a flat by himself. His parents abandoned him without him having a chance to know them.

Jimmy sighed loudly and pushed his chair away from the dark red book he had been writing in. At the start of every new journal, he liked to write a page or two about his past. That way, he'll remember it better and it makes it easier to continue writing about the future and the present.
He turned and faced the door way as his Mom entered.
“Can you give me a hand with moving a couple things downstairs?” She asked quietly. “I would ask your Dad but...”
“It's not a worry,” Jimmy replied standing up.
As he left his room, his dog, Sulley, followed his, panting gently. Sulley sat in the hall way, with her deep brown eyes examining every movement her owners made. She turned her head as she heard movement from behind her. It was The Rev. He looked into the room and hesitated to ask whether his wife needed help.
He continued downstairs to the basement, and switched on his laptop. He surfed through channels on the television until he found something worth watching. He checked his mobile and he had one new message. I must have missed it when I was on the drums The Rev thought. The message was from Leana, the woman he hoped to marry one day. They had three kids together called Lizzie, Cian and Scarlet. However, his family didn't know about this. He kept it a secret from everyone, knowing that he would be judged for having an affair. But no matter how much The Rev wanted to break up with hi current wife, Josie, he never has. He wasn't really sure why. He barely knew his son Jimmy, which was a weird thing to say, seeing as they lived together for 16 years.
Lately, The Rev was looking for an opportunity to break up with Josie, he hoped that the opportunity would come sooner rather than later.