Burn

The house was very quiet as Harry sat on Rae’s bed. She had nothing to say as she walked to her bathroom, grabbing peroxide and bandages. The bleeding in his nosed had stopped, but he had certainly ruined his shirt and the cloth she had given him to allay the bleeding.

Opening the bottle, she kneeled down in front of him, pouring it on a cotton ball and running it across the scratches on his knuckles. He hissed in pain but she ignored it, trying to be delicate with his bruised hands as she cleaned them and fixed them up.

The urge to play with his long fingers was not striking her as it usually did; she was far to agitated for that. Though she felt bad that Harry looked so pitiful and vacant, it didn’t curb the anger that she was feeling towards him.

Disposing of the cotton balls, Rae returned with an ice pack, breaking it and letting the chemicals create the cold sensation and handing it to Harry, who without a word placed it on his nose. He didn’t seem to regret what he had done, which is what made Rae angry the most.

Rae did not condone that sort of behavior. She didn’t care what the man had said to him or her, she would not tell him that it was okay to start brawls, and she would not let him feel like he had done her a favor. Rae wasn’t in any trouble, and even if she had bee, he certainly did not need to act the way he did.

Sensing her anger, Harry asked, “Why are you angry with me?” When she didn’t answer, only proceeded to removed her shoes, he asked, “Well you might as well tell me.”

Rae turned around, sighing unhappily and throwing her hands up. “You can’t just go around hitting people, Harry. I get that you thought you were helping me, but starting brawls just because someone says something idiotic doesn’t help anyone.”

“He had his hands all over you-"

“And so did you!” she shot back, throwing her shoes in the corner. She was at her wits end, knowing Trystan had been right in saying maybe she didn’t want to find out what Harry was really like. Curiosity was biting her in the ass and she knew it. “It was a club, it’s bound to happen. And the last time I checked, I didn’t ask you to baby me, Harry. I’m a grown up. Have you ever wondered how I made it without you? Because I did.”

Harry stood up angrily and began pacing back and forth. Rae didn’t want to admit that she was scared of him, but she was. She was sure that he wouldn’t hit her, but sometimes that spark of anger in his eyes was startling, and she was sure he didn’t recognize her when that happened. “Can we talk about this later? I’m drunk right now and-"

“Exactly,” she snapped, crossing her arms. “You’re drunk. Maybe you don’t think you’ve got a problem, but it’s obvious to me that drinking fuels your rage. And shame on me for letting you get out of hand tonight.”

He pulled his brows together in anger, not liking her answer. “I’m perfectly fine-"

“Just go.” Her disappointment startled him to silence, and Harry wasn’t sure whether she was disappointed in him, or her. “I’m done being a flat where you can stumble in like a hotel room. I shouldn’t have let you get away with it the first time.”

Furious, Harry turned on his heel and walked out of the room. She heard his loud steps as he pounded down the stairs; she imagined he was trying to put holes in the bloody floor. The slamming of her front door made her jump, but the silence that followed was worse.

Rae sat down. Not only was she angry at his violence, but she was angry with herself. She should have known from the beginning that letting him drink that much was an idiotic idea. In a way, it was her own fault, and she felt extremely guilty for that. She had wanted to test him, and ultimately led him to pissing her off.

Over the past few days, Rae had been thinking that maybe Harry could change. Surely he had not always been this angry, that he had once known what it was to be like without the violence in him. She felt like it was her job somehow to get him back to that, but she couldn’t do it if he didn’t want to either.

Without knowing what else to do, she crawled into bed, promising herself that in the morning, she was going straight to her father seeking advice. Sometimes the only way to figure out what to do with people was to go to dad.

*

“Do you think people can change?” The question left Rae’s lips as she sat in the backyard of her father’s home. The sun was shinning hot and on her back as she sat in the wire-framed chair across from her father. They were eating lunch in the summer air, her father’s eyes intent on her. “Do you think that… if they want to better themselves, that they can? Or are they bound to be one way forever? “

Her father leaned back in the chair, taking the time to think about her question. Rae always liked to ask him these sorts of questions because her father always took time to consider them and answer them to the best of his ability. “I think that people are essentially the person they are meant to be, but they can alter their qualities or the way they react to things.”

Rae nodded, sipping her sweet tea. She picked a fry up from the plate and ate it delicately. She thought that Harry was essentially the same person he had grown up to be: witty, funny and actually kind. But he had bad reactions and behavior. “So you don’t think that if someone is a bad person, that they are that way forever?”

He shrugged, folding his hands. “I think that it’s easier to be a bad person than it is to be a good person. Making good decisions and doing the right thing can be really hard. Not all of us have that ability.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Why do you ask? You don’t think you’re a bad person, do you?”

Rae shook her head vigorously. “No, of course not. I was just… wondering if some people could ever change themselves, you know? And if they could, why don’t they?”

“They will if they want to. The decisions we make in life are mostly because of what we want and rarely because of what we need. It’s human nature to want and not do.”

“You should have been a public speaker instead of a doctor,” Rae laughed, shaking her head at her father. She truly believed that, too. He always seemed to have the right things to say, and his wisdom sometimes astounded her.

Her father laughed deeply. “I was married to a very wise woman.” Rae looked up at him at the mention of her mother. A small pang went through her chest, missing her so badly. She knew her dad missed his wife dearly- it was part of the reason he was so protective over her. “You’re a lot like your mother, you know? You see the good in everything, and you want the best for everyone.”

Rae shrugged. “I can’t help it.”

“I know you can’t. Just remember that even though you see the good in everyone, it doesn’t mean that it defines them. Bad people can have good qualities.”

The girl was careful to avoid any details that would lead her father to think she had been hanging out with Harry Styles. The man knew exactly who the Styles boy was, and he would have her head if he knew she had been spending time with him, much less that she even fancied him.

After lunch, Rae kissed her father goodbye, feeling slightly better about the situation with Harry. It was hard, knowing that someone had a problem and wanting to change them, but not wanting to get involved or over step boundaries.

On the way home, all Rae could think about was that Harry wasn’t a bad person with good qualities. He was a good person with bad qualities, and she desperately wanted to help.