Burn

The single slit of sunlight hit her face, making it glow gold. The way it hit her made her look like she was glowing, a heavenly light cast about her sleeping figure. If only those beautiful green eyes of her were open, then Harry would know what it was like to look upon the face of an angel. Because he was almost sure that’s what she was.

Rae was still sleeping peacefully as he sat on his window seat, cross-legged and looking at her. For the first time in his life last night, he had shared a bed with a girl without doing anything sexual. In fact, it was the first time he had ever just lay in bed holding someone. It was nothing like he thought it would be.

Harry had imagined that his arms would cramp at night, holding someone. But he found that his muscles were more relaxed with her there, that his breathing was deeper as he took in her scent. He had the best sleep of his life, and he knew that it was something to do with her, which both pleased and bothered him.

All the time, Harry felt like he was questioning everything he knew, and it drove him insane. He had always lived his life living a certain way, and now that Rae was a part of his life, everything he had thought was starting to change, and he didn’t like that. Why did she have to defy everything about his life?

Leaning back, he shook his head, looking at the ground. Rae was everything he would never want in a girl, but it seemed that was wrong too. She was what he wanted and needed in such a way that he didn’t understand it. Everything about her entranced him, and he knew it wasn’t normal. Loving the way someone sounded as they slept was not normal. He knew that.

Running hands over his face, he picked up the book he was reading, letting that single ray of light hit the page as he tried to let the words capture his attention again. It was very difficult with her laying in his room, but he managed as best as he could.

The words of F. Scott Fitzgerald filled Harry’s brain as he began reading The Great Gatsby, not for the first time. He often felt like he could relate to the man who lived a frivolous life. Of course, until the girl laying in bed hit him with a bathroom door that fateful night.

Thinking back on it, Harry had known that very night there was something different about her. When she had agreed to stay with him, it wasn’t because she wanted to sleep with him; it was because she was worried about his safety. No one else at that entire party cared for his wellbeing except the few friends he had.

Friends. The thought of the word made him think back to a certain date that was approaching in the next month or so. A date that he would have to plea on his “friends” behalf, if he knew what was good for him. At first, he figured that he could say whatever he wanted. Glancing at Rae in the bed, he knew he no longer had that liberty.

“If it were any other girl,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head and closing the book as she stirred in bed. Her breathing fell out of the deep intakes of breath that sleep required and he watched as her green eyes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly: delicate and soft. “Morning.”

Rae seemed confused for a moment before she sat up, scratching her chocolate waves and looking at him with squinty eyes. She gave him a tired smile, and yawned. “You have the softest bed in the world.”

“I have too, for- you know,” he teased. She simply waved her hand, falling back into it. She was so unfazed that he had been with many girls, a fact that startled him. Most girls had major insecurity issues when you had been with girls before them. “Have a nice rest?”

She hesitated before saying, “Yes.”

“There was a pause.” He stood up and pointed at her, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. She had the blanket over her face. “Why was there a pause?”

“You… talk in your sleep.”

He blinked. “I do?”

“Yeah, a bit.”

“What did my lovely, sleeping mind have to say?”

There was that pause again. Irritated, Harry removed the blanket from her face, giving her a look. She was watching him, clearly uncomfortable. “You said my name. Well, shouted is a better word for it. Were you having nightmares?”

Harry frowned deeply. He had no recollection of having a bad sleep. He was sure that he had slept without so much as a dream. He never would have thought he had shouted her name and from the sounds of it, it hadn’t been a happy shout. “No, I slept fine. Better than usual, actually.”

“Huh.” She shrugged and sat up, popping a kiss on his cheek before sliding from the bed. “I’m sure it was nothing, then. I’m dying of thirst though, so I’m getting a water.”

Harry gave her a smile and watched her walk out of the room. She seemed unworried. But what he couldn’t understand, is why he would have had that reaction in his sleep. He never had bad dreams of her before, so why now?

Sitting in his room alone, he racked his brain.

*

“Call me later, yeah?” Harry asked as Rae slipped out of the car. She looked at him and gave him a cheeky smile. He had been strange all morning, extra delicate with her and extra-kind. It was weird to go that long without his snarky remarks. “No waiting three days or whatever that girl rule is.”

She snorted. “That’s a guy rule. Girl’s never call.” He gave her a look. “Fine, I’ll call. Jeez, do you do that with everyone you sleep with?”

“Ha. Ha.” Rae gave him a smile before shutting the door and turning. The car didn’t leave until she was safely behind her gate and skipping up the steps to her flat, jingling her keys in her hand.

The house was cold as she entered, a stark contrast to the warm outside. Shedding her shoes, she walked towards the living room, following Trystan’s voice and made a face of surprise when she found Trystan and Louis sitting on the couch conversing casually. They both turned and waved when she walked in.

“Oh god,” Trystan groaned, smacking her forehead and turning away. “You’re in his clothes. That’s it, you’ve-“

“No,” Rae cut off, laughing and going to sit on the opposite couch. She was still in Harry’s clothes. The smelled of him, and she liked that. Yet another disturbing quality she had developed. “I didn’t. It’s a long story, but I ended up covered in cake batter nonsense, so I needed to borrow some.”

Louis choked on the water he was drinking, coughing wildly before setting it down and looking at Rae, who was giving him a dubious look as he sputtered. Trystan was also looking at him with an expression that most accurately read, ‘what the hell is wrong with you.’

“He took you to the bakery?”

Rae looked around as if trying to find something wrong. “If I answer ‘yes’ do I win something?”

“No, you don’t understand-“

“So please share.”

“I’m trying, Trys. Anyways, Harry doesn’t just take birds to the bakery, alright? That place is his sanctuary, his church.” Louis leaned back and shook his head. He didn’t seem unhappy, just surprised. “Leah is like his mother, and he would never take someone there if he didn’t think she would approve.”

Rae blinked, unable to respond differently. “Oh.”

“Yeah oh. I don’t know how you’ve done it, mate, but you’ve got that lad in a complex.”

“Complex is sort of negative,” Trystan pointed out, poking him in the rib cage. He swatted her away, making her giggle slightly before turning her full attention back on Rae. “So, did you feel holy being at the bakery? Or?”

Louis nudged her. “Shut it. I’m serious.”

Both Louis and Trystan were looking at Rae like they expected her to pull a rabbit out of a hat and shout, ‘tada!’ But she had no response, had no answer for them. She had no idea what it was that made her different from every other girl in the world. All she knew was that somehow Harry was different for her too, and it wasn’t something she could very well explain to them.

“Are you going to say something?”

“No,” she told Trystan, standing. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t know why he took me there. He just did.”

“Oh yeah,” Trystan said softly as Rae padded out of the room and towards the stairs. Trystan watched her best friend ascend the steps, a small smile on Trystan’s lips. “She fancies him loads.”

“How do you know?"

Trystan smiled at Louis, patting him on the arm. “Because when Rae has feelings for someone, she does not like to talk about them at first. She’ll wait until she’s sure and then she’ll talk about it. By my watch, she’s almost ready to talk about it.”

Rae heard her voice and smiled as she reached the second floor. Trystan was absolutely right. It didn’t bother Rae that she was explaining that to Louis, because it was true. And it wasn’t something that Rae thought was weird, she just liked to know for sure before opening her mouth.

Once upstairs, Rae went to her drawing room, too distracted to do anything else. Sitting down on a chair and adjusting the falling shirt on her frame, she picked up a sketch pad and a pencil, instantly begin to draw across the page as soon as the led hit the paper.

It didn’t take long to draw what she kept seeing in her mind, a couple embracing. When she finished the image, she looked at it for a long time. They did not resemble her and Harry, but it resembled what she secretly wanted with him. The constant urge to just hold the boy in her arms was always there.

A knock on the door startled her and she looked up. Trystan smiled and Rae gestured for her to come in. Trystan tried not to bother Rae when she was in this room, but sometimes she would come and sit on the floor in the sun while Rae drew. Trystan liked to sit in the silence, and she was more than often a subject Rae drew.

Taking the pad in her hands, Rae flashed the drawing to Trystan. Her blond brows arched and she nodded, understanding what her friend was conveying. She was telling her without words what she felt for Harry. It was Rae’s easiest way to communicate, and she had learned the language of art over the years.

“So he’s special,” Trystan said, sitting down on the floor. There were not many places to sit, save the single chairs that Rae used when she was drawing. Trys was content with the wooden floor, looking up at her friend. “You haven’t drawn about someone in a long time.”

Rae bit her lip, nodding. “I don’t know what it is. It’s just… oh blood hell, I don’t fucking know. It’s different.”

Trystan nodded. She had never seen Rae at such a loss for words. “He makes you happy. But he makes you frustrated too. Why?”

“Because. Well, because the way I react to him. It’s just so strong. And it bothers me.”
Trystan stared at Rae before shrugging and giving her a big grin. “It happens. Now stop being a recluse and come to lunch with me.”

Rae smiled, standing up. Yes, lunch with a best friend sounded delightful.