Burn

The sun was warm, as it flood through the window to Rae’s studio. She stood staring out the window, her breath hitting the glass and causing it to fog. She was extremely nervous, angry, and confused. Harry was on his way to her house, but she was not sure what question to ask, or how to ask it. The thought that Harry was going to court for something was slightly terrifying. What scared her more, was that Leon had said it like a threat.

Rae was beginning to understand the type of human being Leon was. He was the kind of guy who liked to play with his food. He liked to maim whatever he was chasing, and he liked to watch it suffer, he liked to watch people struggle with uncomfortably. To Leon, other’s weaknesses were his power.

Fingers touched the cool glass, running across the smooth surface. Rae wished desperately that her life was like that smooth glass, clear and without hindrance. She saw her life more similar to sea glass, broken and hard to see through, but still beautiful when you looked at it from the right angle.
In fact, that was what Harry was like. He was an obscure piece of sea glass she had stumbled upon one day, and at first she wasn’t sure how too look at him. But god did he shine beautiful when he caught the light right, when she saw him for what he truly was.

She just wasn’t sure if the light would be hitting him correctly when she asked him about Leon’s implication.

Harry breaking laws was not news to her. She had known the entire time in grade school that he did things unlawful. But it was never anything that she had heard he had to attend court for, especially since his parents were lawyers. They could usually get him out of whatever trouble he got in, not that it was ever that harmful.

The black car came around the corner and parked, pulling Rae’s heartstrings as she watched it. Harry’s tall figured slid out of the car, languid and fluid like a dark ribbon of water spilling from a faucet. Even the way he walked was perfect. Rae called it the Style’s complex, which meant that one was seen as something scary and dark, but was really perfect in every way possible.

As she knew he would, he let himself into the house. They had gotten past knocking days ago, and she liked that he felt comfortable letting himself into her home. Waiting patiently, she listened to his footsteps, stomping up the steps in tandem with the beats of her heart.

Licking her lips, she moved away from the window, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and facing the open door. She saw him walk past and then slow when he realized she was in there, not her room. He retraced his easy steps and walked into the studio, looking around at the wide space with interest.

“It’s quite massive in here,” he pointed out, looking at the different artwork scattered all over. Some pieces were just doodles and things that she had done when bored, other’s were masterpieces that she had slaved over. “Why did you- you look angry.”

Rae crossed her arms, biting the edge of her lip. “I’m… not sure if I’m angry, yet. Just concerned.”

Harry did not look happy at her words. A flicker of irritation lit his face like the low burning light of a candle. “Spit it out then.”

Her green eyes narrowed. She absolutely hated when he told her to ‘spit it out’ with that tone. It was just his way of saying he didn’t care why she was mad, but she might as well tell him anyways. “Why are you going to court?”

Out of all the questions she could have asked in the world, or all of the explanations she could give, it seemed that the boy in front of her had expected this the least of all. The pure shock and confusion that slammed onto his face like a thunderstorm was too genuine to be faked.

It also told Rae that it was true, because he did not even have enough time to pretend that she was crazy, or that what she said was a lie. No, his reaction was too real, and it made her heart flip like a trapeze artist.

“Who told you that?”

“Don’t answer a question with a question.”

“And don’t answer my fucking question with a snappy statement.” He took a step towards her, giving her a very angry look. Rae knew that he was teetering on the fence of that Harry she didn’t like, the Harry that sometimes forgot she was Rae. His Rae. “Who fucking told you that, Rae?”

She jut her chin out in defiance. The action was very noticed by him. “Leon did. At lunch.”

It was until after she said it that she realized how badly she had phrased the answer. Because it was only when his eyes gathered like a thousand storm clouds at the head of a monsoon that she realized her phrasing lead Harry to believe she had gone to lunch with Leon. “You went where? Why the fuck were you with him?”

“No,” she shook her head quickly, fumbling over her words, but they were coming out wrong. She was running without her shoe laces tied. “That came out wrong. I was at lunch with Trys-"

“And you just stopped to have a lovely chitchat with Leon?” Harry took two large strides and was in front of Rae. He was the Tower of Babel compared to her slight height, stretching to the heavens in an angry shadow. “Did you have a lovely chat? Sharing gossip and exchanging numbers?”

“Stop being an idiot!” she hissed, moving him back a bit by nudging his shoulder lightly. It was not a hard or harsh touch, but he caught her wrist, locking onto it with force. Rae was suddenly fearful, but she kept her face a stone. “Of course I didn’t do any of that. His a foul little bastard and he stopped me. I was trying to avoid him.”

“You should have called me!” he hollered, throwing Rae’s wrist and making her step back. She instantly snatched her wrist to her chest as he turned, striding away from Rae, running his hands through his hair. “You have no idea who the fuck he is, and you need to stay away from him.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” The sarcasm was falling from her mouth before she could stop it. She threw her hand up and smacked her forehead in frustration with her palm, so over this fight already. “He seems to be more honest with me than you, because obviously he wants me to know about whatever court date this is. Which you’ve failed to mention, as of yet.”

“Because it didn’t fucking matter!” He screamed, throwing his hand out on the table and knocking over paintbrushes, pencils and papers. Rae froze then, never seeing him strike out at something the way he just had. Her things clattered to the floor. “Because it has absolutely no relevancy to you at all, Rae! That’s why!”

She swallowed and looked away from him. This was some sort of scene from a movie, she was almost sure of it. There was no way she was standing in a studio with a raging boy and her life filling with more drama again. These things did not happen to Rae, because she always made sure that they didn’t happen. Where did she step off the track?

“I don’t think that’s fair,” she said evenly, looking up at him again. He voice was stronger than she thought it would be, and she was glad. She didn’t want him to think she was scared of him; she was just scared of the temper. “How is that fair to me, to keep me in the dark about things? I thought we shared things.”

“You have no idea about anything,” he snapped, shaking his head and glaring full on. The look in his eyes and the way his mouth twisted gave her chills. It was those kind of looks that people had bad dreams about. He was not a dream, though. He was a beautiful nightmare. And she knew it. “You do not have the slightest idea about who I am, what I’ve done. You live in this little world where you think I’m some good person, I’m not”

Rae was slightly offended at his allusion to saying she lived in lala land. Because she didn’t. At all. “I don’t live in any little world. I know you’ve done bad things, and maybe I don’t know what they are, but I accepted that a long time ago. Sorry if you feel the need to scream at me for wanting some honesty.”

“Well let’s not pretend I’m the only one being dishonest here, yeah?” Harry asked in a thundering voice. He marched over to Rae and pointed an accusing finger in her face. She didn’t move. “You want so badly for me to admit that I have a drinking problem, to revoke everything I’ve ever known because you think you’re special.”

She slapped his hand away, startling them both as she stormed passed him, slamming her shoulder into his. She didn’t want to admit how hard that had hit her in the heart, how sharp those words had been. “You’re such an asshole, Jesus Christ. No I didn’t want to fix you. I hoped you’d learn to do it yourself. Excuse me for being a deluded little girl who thought it was nice to have a boy give her attention.”

Rae was out of the room and heading down the stairs, fighting tears that were welling up in her eyes. She would not cry in front of him, she didn’t care how mean he was being. She would not let him reduce her to tears, that bastard.

Footsteps sounded behind her as she went into the kitchen, trying to get as far away from him as possible. It was clear she was never asking him a damn thing ever again. She could share what she was doing, but he couldn’t share whatever he was doing. Harry Styles logic.

“Rae,” Harry said, his voice softer but still angry. He entered the kitchen and she ignored him, glaring at the window like she wanted to blow it to pieces with her vision. “You need to understand, that feeling like you want to change me all the time is exhausting. And very bothersome.”

“I wasn’t trying to change you,” she snapped, still not looking at him. Honesty was bubbling to her lips. “I was trying to change the way I saw you that first night. I thought you were a proper twat, and I couldn’t care less about you. And I was wrong. And I hate that.”

Silence flowed between them. It made her ears roar, but she still didn’t look at him. He was standing a few feet away, and she could here him sigh. The vision of him knocking all her things to the floor was still playing in her mind, and she hoped he wouldn’t do the same with the knives. “I didn’t mean what I said, about you not being special.”

“Ha.”

“I’m serious.” He stepped towards her and she threw him a warning glare from the corner of her eye. Harry licked his lips, trying to find a way to say whatever it was on his mind. “Look, Rae. This whole relationship business is weird for me. I don’t… I’m not used to having to tell people things, don’t you get that?” She bit her lip. “And you don’t make it easier by expecting me to be all forthcoming either. Don’t forget who I am.”

“I didn’t- I haven’t. I just, I want to be someone you can tell things, I know that you can’t give me that. It’s just taken me this to find that out.”

Silence again. “Leon and his brother sell drugs. I used to tag along because I was good at intimidation and protection. I’m supposed to testify with or against them in a case that’s been building against their business. That’s what the court date is.” Rae turned her head a fraction, looking at him. He was staring right at her. “I didn’t always do the drugs, but I helped. This was two years ago.”

“Oh.”

“It isn’t much,” he admitted, nodding his head slightly. “But I’ll try, alright? I’ll try and make you that person to talk to… just know it isn’t going to be easy. Understand?”

Rae nodded. “Yes.”

“And if Leon ever comes near you again, you tell him you are mine. If he touches you, I’ll come after him.” Rae gave him a wide-eyed expression, questioning the threat in his voice. “You’re Harry Style’s girl now. That makes you untouchable.”

Rae shivered in fear and delight.