Burn

The fancy restaurant was very quiet, as Rae sat at the table, casting her eyes around the place. Business men and woman sat around talking on phones and conducting business. Rae did not particularly like having lunch surrounded by these types of high class people, but it was one of her father’s favorite places to eat.

Dr. Bastian had called Rae early that morning, asking if she would like to go to lunch with him. She of course accepted it, since it was rare for her father to be free during the weekdays. She also was excited to spend some time with him, since she hadn’t seen him for about two weeks.

Picking at the dress on her body, she sighed, waiting. He was already a little bit late, but that was okay with her. It gave her time to think. After last weeks events, explaining everything to Harry and admitting to him about Leon’s threats, the boy had been enraged. So enraged by her lack of honesty that he had hit a door, cracking it. But they were over that now. They had moved on.

Which mean Rae wanted to tell her father about him. She knew that her dad would not be keen on Harry at all, but she was not going to lie to him. She couldn’t keep Harry out of the picture for ever, and she knew it was about time to tell him that she had grown extremely close to the boy.

It was funny, Rae thought, as she sat there. For some reason, she struggled with calling Harry her boyfriend. That’s what he was, she knew, and he saw her as his girlfriend as well. But it seemed like a flimsy term, one that wasn’t lasting. And she felt like they were something that would be lasting.

Looking up, she saw her father walk in, his eyes scanning for her. She raised her hand in a bit of a wave, smiling at him as he came over. He gave her a bit of a smile in return, coming over and sitting down, kissing her lightly on the cheek.

They waited to get into conversation until after they ordered, both sipping drinks quietly as the waiter left them, taking their order to the kitchen. Rae set down her long island ice tea, looking up at her dad. “So you were finally to get away for lunch? We haven’t done this in ages.”

He nodded, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes. She could tell that he was tired, but at least he loved what he did. It wouldn’t be worth it any other way. “I try and take time away when I feel it necessary.”

Her eyes flicked up to him then, a small crease forming in her forehead as she frowned at him. It was the tone in which he used to say it, like he was concerned, or about to give a rather lengthy speech. “Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, looking at her expectantly. “Is it, Rae?”

She was at a loss for words, her heart skipping a beat. There was no way he could have known about the scuffle she had gotten into last week. She had only told Trystan and Harry about it. No one else knew. “I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

“I hear you’re dating the Styles boy.” Rae coughed in surprised, grabbing her drink and wetting her throat before she was able to breath again. “And you haven’t said a word of it.”

Being cut and dry was something that John Bastian had passed on to Rae. They both got right to the point of things, and did not waste time with pleasantries and doddling when they wanted to discuss something. Air was never wasted between the two.

And yet, Rae wished that he had asked about her day first, or asked about Trystan or work. She wished that she had something else to go off of. She hadn’t really been prepared for the question, so she had to just answer it as carefully as she could.

“I actually was planning on discussing that today,” she admitted a bit sheepishly, setting her drink down. She looked at her dad, trying to give him a pleading face to hear her out. “I hadn’t mentioned it before because it was nothing serious, and I didn’t want to worry you over rubbish.”

“Oh, and now it’s serious?”

She winced at his tone. It was colored with every shade of disapproval there was. “I suppose so. Father, I know that you don’t like him and I know you’ve heard bad things about him, I get that-"

“Do you, Rae?” She stopped as he intercepted her sentence. He usually never interrupted her, which is how she knew he was angry. “Do you understand what it’s like, to hear that your child is dating a boy who has no lack of a bad reputation? I know you like to see the good in everyone, but this is a bit much.”

Rae was beginning to get very frustrated. They hadn’t even been on the subject for more than a few minutes, and she was ready to scream. “Yes, I know. It’s a flaw, okay? But there really are things about him that are great. You just have to meet him, get to know him.”

“Most of the time when someone uses the phrase ‘you have to get to know them,’ it’s because they aren’t a good person, sweetie. I cannot tell you what to do. You are far to old for that. But I do not approve of this boy and I have no wish to get to know him. Understood?”

Looking at him, she had never felt so belittled. Her father never treated her this way, and he certainly never made her feel like there was only one option, only one side to things. It was strange, that he was being so closed minded. All her life, she thought he was open minded. Then again, he was far too protective of her.

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“No, but I know you. You try and fix things that are broken, but sometimes that’s not your job, and things cannot be fixed. And I know that you’re better than that, and you’ll realize that it isn’t your job to fix that boy. I just wished you would find that out sooner rather than later.”

“I’m not trying to fix him,” she protested, shaking her head vigorously. “I like him, I have feelings for him. He’s smart, kind and he’s misunderstood. He’s had problems in the past but-"

“What, just throw them away for you?” Rae flinched visibly, recoiling from his words. They were not said unkindly, but they certainly weren’t said gently. And the implication behind them, is what slapped her across the face. “Do you think you are so important to him, that he wants to change the person he’s been just because you’ve come along? Maybe he can change. But I don’t think he’ll change for you, Rae.”

Throat tight and tears stinging her eyes, she bit her lip, trying not to cry at the table. She wanted so badly to sit there and argue, but she couldn’t listen to her father utter the words that she herself said at night, that she dreamt about every time she slept. She didn’t think Harry would ever change for her either, but hearing someone else say it was too much to handle.

Pushing away from the table, she shook her head, brushing the hair from her face. A single tear slid down her cheek but she swiped it away visibly. Her father looked upset, knowing he had hurt her feelings. “You didn’t owe it to me to approve of him,” she said, voice thick with emotion. “But you certainly didn’t have to tell me I wasn’t good enough for someone’s better half.”

“I didn’t mean-"

“But you did.”

Rae turned and walked away, leaving her dad sitting there. She knew that it wasn’t exactly fair of her to leave the way she was, but she was far to emotional to talk to him rationally. She would try and talk to him again when she wasn’t stressed, and when she wasn’t on the verge of tears.

In the car, she let herself cry her eyes out. She wasn’t sure if she was crying because she knew that Harry would never erase that anger and violence for her, or because she was disappointing her father. Both were equally painful, causing her chest to physically ache.

At home, she curled up in her bed, crying silently. Trystan came in eventually, seeing her and knowing that the lunch had not gone as planned. Wordless, Trystan climbed into Rae’s bed, her back against the backboard and holding Rae as she cried, the bond between best friends coming to light.

“I just don’t feel good enough for either one of them right now,” Rae said, voice cracking as she sniffed, shaking her head. “My dad’s disappointed that I like him and I’m one of the things that makes Harry angry.”

“Just let things work themselves out, dove.”

Rae continued to cry. “Sometimes I just don’t know what to do.”

“You’re not supposed to. That’s one of life’s bloody rules, you never know what on earth you’re supposed to be doing or what decision to make. It’s what makes us human.”

“I don’t want to be human, then.”

Trystan laughed lightly. “What do you want to be, an alien?”

“Preferably.”

“Well listen, let’s focus on other things before aliens, okay? You need to focus on work and readying your boyfriend for his court date in a week.”

Rae groaned. “Great.”

“It’ll be fine. Everything finds a way. Everything.”

*

“So basically you’re telling me I’m not allowed to go?” Rae demanded, scrunching up her nose in distaste and anger, as she crossed her arms. She stomped her foot a bit, grinding it into the ground of her living room, as she face Harry, who was sitting on her couch watching her. “That’s fucking rubbish, Harry.”

“I’m not the only one who thinks so,” he said, raising his hands as if to wave a white flag. He gestured to Louis and Trystan both, who were sitting in on this conversation, as if they were there to give consul. “they don’t think you should be either.”

Rae glared at Trystan full force to which Trystan shrugged. “I don’t think it’s smart. One, you know Leon see’s you has bait. B, Harry can’t concentrate on giving a testimony against him if he things you’re in danger. Last, you’re prone to do something stupid because you react too much.”

Louis was looking at Trystan with an amused expression on his face, shaking his head at her. “I’m not going even to mention how fucked up you’re listing on that was, really.” He turned to face Rae, who was still fuming, giving her an earnest look. “I’m going to have to agree, Rae. It’s just best if he does this on his own. Harry’s a grown lad, he’ll be fine.”

Looking at all three of them, the pouting girl knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with this argument. Growling, she through herself into a chair far away from them, pissed that they were making the decision for her. She desperately wanted to go with Harry to hear his plea tomorrow, but a certain part of her knew that they were right.

In all honesty, Rae just wanted all of this to be over and done with. She wanted Leon out of her life, she wanted to know that Harry was going to do the right thing, and she wanted everything to stop being so hectic. She was over the stress of everything.

“Fine,” she mumbled, covering her hands with her face. “Do that, whatever. I don’t care.”

Harry sighed and she could hear that he was annoyed. He had been uptight all week as well, and Rae wasn’t making it any better by pestering him. She knew that he really hadn’t wanted to throw Leon under the bus because that wasn’t in his nature, but Leon had done in his own fate when he threatened Rae. “Would you please stop pouting like a five year old?”

“Well maybe if you didn’t treat me like one I wouldn’t act like one.”

“God dammit Rae!” Harry burst out, throwing his hands in the air. Louis and Trystan exchanged glances, standing and leaving the room. They really did not want to intrude on whatever was going to happen. “Stop being so difficult?”

“Oh I’m being difficult?” she asked, removing her hands from her face and sitting up. She was glaring at him now. “All I asked was to go, and then all of you had to go around and make up reasons for me not to go together. You all teamed up on me. Difficult. Bah!”

“Yeah, cause you’re a walk in the park,” he muttered, leaning back into his seat. Rae stared at him, and though she wasn’t hurt by his words, she had the sudden urge to cry, making her look away from him, staring hard at the wall. “Rae, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”

“Just, do whatever you have to do. This stress is getting to me and I’m sick of it.”

Getting up, Harry walked across the room, leaning down and pressing his lips on top of her head. She leaned into the touch, even though she was still irritated. “I know.”