Burn

The sound of the phone ringing through to the other end hit Rae’s ears and she paced her room, her eyes going often to the boy sleeping in her bed. Three. Four. Harry was breathing quietly and evenly in her bed, remnants of tears on his face. He had practically cried himself to sleep in her arms. Seeing his face finally calm and free of pain was a relief.

Five. Six. Hi, you’ve reached the voice mail box of Dr. Bastian. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get right back to you. “Hi dad,” Rae said very quietly, her eyes going to Harry’s figure, making sure her speaking hadn’t stirred him. He was still very much asleep. “I just wanted to call you and… let you know I’m fine. I know we’ve haven’t spoken for a bit, I just needed some time. Erm, call me when you get this… and dad? I love you.”

Hanging up the phone, Rae sat at the edge of the bed gently. Looking down at the ground, she took a deep breath. It was Harry’s despair for his broken parentage that gave her the courage to call her father. Seeing him like that, seeing him broken in her arms had made her realize how good she had it, how much he would do anything to have what she did.

Seeing him like that, it had given her the wakeup call that she needed. Even if she only had one parent, who was overbearing at times, her father was all she had. Harry would have given anything for even a single parent with the relationship that she had. And the moment she understood that, she knew what she had to do.

Over the course of his breakdown, Harry had apologized a million times. But she waved them off, shaking her head. They were passed apologies through words. She could feel that he was sorry, and that’s all that she needed. Words were empty when you felt so deeply.

Buzzing in her hand alerted Rae. Standing quickly, she rushed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her quietly and answering the phone in a hushed tone when her father’s name flashed on the screen. “Hello?”

“Rae,” he breathed, as if relieved she answered the phone. That single syllable, that single utterance and she knew everything between her and her father was forgotten, replaced. She knew that everything ill between them was now gone. “I’m so glad you called. Are you okay?”

Choked up, she nodded before realizing he couldn’t see her doing that. “Yes, I’m fine. Are you?”

“Yes, yes of course. Rae, I-“

“I know,” she murmured quietly, a tear sliding down her cheek. She smiled through it, though. “Me too.”

He was quiet on the other line. “Bring Harry to the annual party, yeah?” he asked, sounding like he had thought over this long and hard, but still was unsure about what he was doing. Rae smiled a bit, knowing that her father was trying. “I’d like to meet him. Trystan can come as usual as well.”

“Of course, I’ll ask him.”

“Alright dove,” he said softly. “I’ve got to get back to work. Thank you for calling.”

When they hung up, Rae leaned against the sink of the counter, smiling softly to herself. She actually had no idea if Harry would actually want to go to something like that with her, but she knew that it was a huge step forward that her father had even offered the idea of him going. And that was good enough for her.

Letting herself back into her room, she slipped into bed, leaning against the headboard and picking up her worn copy of The Great Gatsby, turning the page to where she had left off. Though she had read the novel many times, she always managed to find something knew.

As if sensing her presence in bed, Harry rolled over, sighing in his sleep and snuggling into her side, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her, his fast pressed into her hip. She raised her eyebrows in amusement but stroked his hair gently with one hand, using the other to hold her book up.

If Rae could have painted that moment, she would have. She knew they must have looked perfect, quietly at peace, him sleeping and holding onto her for safety, and her reading a novel. It was how she wanted to go to bed every night, in the future. It was what she imagined laying in bed with her husband would feel like.

But this was Harry, of course. Not her husband. And the girl quickly discovered her mind kept wandering away from the book to the boy at her side. Last night, she knew she had said that love sucked. And she had meant it, so did that mean she loved Harry?

Rae loved many things about Harry. She loved the way he smiled, the way he smelled, the way she curled into his side, or the way he scribbled notes in his books as he read, discovering knew things every time and never wanting to forget them. She loved the crease in his brows when he didn’t understand him, and she loved the sound of his breath beside her at night.

It was almost astounding, to sit there and realize that she was in love with Harry Styles. There was no way that she could deny it, because she did not like to lie to herself. So sitting there in bed, she looked up at the ceiling, letting the feeling sink in. Rae loved Harry. She was in love with Harry, in a way that she had never really loved someone before.

The girl had been in love before. She had had other boyfriends who last ages before. But none were quiet like this. She had never felt so deeply for someone, and she certainly had not fallen for them the way she had fallen for Harry. Because Rae not only loved Harry for who he hid from the world, but she loved who he was, even when he was angry.

Clearly, she was one of the few people that he was truly himself around. And that simple fact had also made her fall in love with him. It wasn’t always his tough exterior that spoke volumes to her, but rather his vulnerability. Like when she was holding him, when he was crying. She had hurt so badly when she saw him like that. It was a physical pain to her. That could only be love.

When noon neared, Rae was deep into her novel, eyes soaking up the words on the parchment as if they were rays of sun shining through the window. Harry stirred at her side and she looked down from her book, watching his eyes open slightly, narrowed with sleep.

Grinning, she set her book down, brushing a loose lock of hair from his face. “Morning, sunshine.”

He snuggled closer to her, holding her tightly and sighing in delight. It made her chuckle lightly, but she could feel that he was in a better mood. “How about we spend some time with Lily today?” Harry suggested, voice rough from sleep. Rae loved the way he sounded when he first woke up. “And we can go to the bakery, spend some time with Leah and James.”

It took almost no time for Rae to get dressed and knock on the door of her aunt’s house, kissing her on the cheek and bending down, stretching her arms out to pick up a giggling Lily. But what Lily liked most of all, was seeing Harry, squealing and demanding his attention.

Walking to the car, Harry carried Lily, listening to her story of how she wanted a puppy and how she was going to get it. Rae listened as Harry talked animatedly with her, gasping and making her giggle as he strapped her the in car seat like a pro.

Harry’s vigor and adoration for Lily did not decrease at the bakery. In fact, Rae almost felt like the third wheel as Harry took her in his arms around to the back when she insisted she wanted to make cupcakes. Luckily for Rae, Leah and James were both there and had enough staff to take a break, sitting down at a table with her.

“Hello dear,” Leah grinned, waving and sitting across from Rae. Rae shot back a grin just as happy and large, extending her hand to who she knew was Leah’s husband. “This is James, James this is Rae, who I’ve sort of met once.”

The younger girls cheeks tinted with pink, remembering Leah had walked in on Harry and her having sort of a food fight. Looking into the kitchen window, she could see Harry dotting Lily’s nose with flour now. It made her heart swell. “Yes,” James said, as if reading Rae’s thoughts. “Harry’s a fine fellow when it comes to children. I believe he’ll make a wonderful father, someday.”

“If he’s anything like he describes you,” Rae said absently before turning to smile at them. “He will be. He has nothing but the utmost kind things to say about you both. I guess I should thank you?”

“Thank us?” Leah asked, sipping her coffee, and setting it back down. “Why?”

Rae shrugged and bit into a muffin. It gave her time to think over what she wanted to say. “Because I’ve met his parents and they’re absolute tossers. I’ve quite got it set in my mind that I would have been better off without meeting them.”

James chuckled, nodding and looking down at the pattern tabled. They all paused for a minute as laughter rose from the kitchen. Some of the bakers were laughing along with Harry and the little girl, making the entire table smile. “His parents are something, aren’t they? I went to school with his mum, and we’ve been family friends for ages. But they never quite developed the parenting dreams. Neither did their parents.”

“That’s why I’m thankful for you.” James and Leah both looked at Rae with wonder. Her green eyes flickered back and forth between them comfortably. “Because you’ve broken that sad chain. You’ve given a boy a chance to grow up apart from what his families been doing for years.”

For a moment, there was silence. Then Leah laughed, covering her mouth and shaking her head. She looked somewhat emotional, which caused Rae some alarm. “Pardon me, I didn’t mean to frighten you. It’s just, to meet someone who really wants him to do great things is very different for us. No one has ever given him the chance that we have, and now here you sit, doing just that.”

Without responding, Rae turned in her seat and watched from where she sat, the boy interacting with her little cousin. The adoration in his eyes for her, and those in Lily’s was beautiful. Lily never had a big brother, so for her to be sitting on the table, Harry pointing out different things to do, flour coating her hands, was an adventure for her.

Rae had it in her mind that Harry was so wonderful with Lily because he never had a younger sibling before, so it was the closest he had ever had. But sitting there, watching him, she realized that wasn’t the reason at all. The reason, was that Harry had been taught by the two people across from her how to love. Even if he never knew it. She could kiss them both, for shaping the man she had fallen for.

“You love him, don’t you?” James asked, a hint of a smile in his voice. Rae turned back, making a pitiful face before nodding. She took another bite of her muffin so she wouldn’t have to answer. “Don’t worry. He probably doesn’t know. But I’ll tell you, that boy loves you too.”

Rae’s lips upturned. “I hope so.”