Burn

The boy sat on Rae’s bed as she studied him. He was still on her bed and beautiful, his intelligent green gaze on her, unmoving. His hair was still curly and silky, making her wonder what it was like to run her fingers through the curls. She imagined that they were the most beautiful feeling things in the world.

Rae didn’t understand the boy one bit, and though she liked to pretend she didn’t want to, the truth was that she wanted to understand him, to know why he was the way he was. He seemed so intelligent, and clearly had brains. But why did he insist on drinking himself stupid, to getting into fights? She had no idea.

Deciding that she wasn’t going to get any reasons for his behaviors out of him, she sighed, turning around and walking to her closet. Changing into sweatpants hanging low on her hips and a tank top loose on her body, reveal the tattoo on her upper ribs.

Walking out of the closet, she ignored Harry who remained sitting on her bed, his eyes darting to the words inked to her side. She assumed he hadn’t taken notice to any of the four she had.
“What’s it say?” he asked. When she didn’t respond, he gestured to it. “The tattoo.”

“Can’t you read?”

“Yes,” he said pointedly. “But I’m drunk, and you’re far away.”

She sighed. “It says ‘Learn to love yourself first.’”

Padding over to her bathroom, she walked in, removing a bottle from the medicine cabinet and emptying it’s contents into her hands. Filling a glass with water from the tap, she trailed back over to Harry, whose silence was unnerving her.

“Take this for the pain,” she instructed, voice quiet, holding out the contents in her hands. He took them from her gently, making a point to brush his hand against hers, setting it on fire. “It should help.”

“Why are you helping me?” he questioned her, popping the pills in between his pink lips before sipping the water. A smile touched his lips when he finished it. “You don’t even like me.”

“My mother always told me to help those in need.”

Just like it had before, his face went from amused to a spark of anger. He shoved the cup in her hands, standing from her bed and staggering slightly. She reached her hand out to steady him but he flinched away from her touch wildly. “I don’t need your help.”

Rae set her face into a blank slate, not wanting to reveal that he scared her when his temper flared. She saw the way a fire lit his eyes, the way his pupils dilated almost animalistically. “You don’t want my help. There’s a difference.”

He scoffed angrily and walked towards her bedroom door, leaving her standing at the bed. “You know nothing about me.”

“I know that we keep running into one another,” she called after him as he had walked around the corner. Rae waited as his footsteps stopped. When they didn’t move, she walked to the doorframe hesitantly, peering around the edge to look at him. His head was hung, curls shielding his expression. “And I’m not sure if you’ve done that on purpose, or if I’m supposed to take it as a sign.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t read into it.”

“And maybe you should,” she retorted. When he didn’t reply, she took that as a sign to continue. “You can sleep in the guest bedroom. I don’t want you wandering the streets drunk at night, and you certainly can’t drive.”

“I can take a cab.”

“Or you can sleep in a bedroom for free, where someone can make sure you don’t drown in vomit.”

Harry didn’t argue with her, so Rae moved past him silently, wondering why she was so intent on helping him. It was clear Harry was having a superiority complex and didn’t want to be treated with kindness; it was like he was unfamiliar with it. But the part of her that was from her mother, knew she couldn’t just leave him to go about being drunk. Her heart was too big to let him wander off, even if she didn’t like being around someone who she thought to be dangerous and scary.

The light flicked on as they walked into the room across the hall but down towards the stairs. It was large with light green walls, drawings hung on the wall, Rae’s signature at the bottom of them. She pulled out the blankets from being tucked in, gesturing and mentioning where the bathroom was and where the mini-fridge was.

Turning around, she saw that Harry was transfixed on a particular drawing. It was on a white sheet of paper, done in black pencil and charcoal. A girl was drawn on the expanse of the paper, a close up of her face smudged and tainted by tears. Rae’s eyes when down cast, feeling vulnerable with him studying her work.

“Did you draw this?” he asked, reaching his hand up and touching the edges of the paper. It was like he was trying to touch the girl in the picture, trying to feel her sadness.

“Yes,” she said quickly, lifting her head up. Harry’s back was still to her, but his posture was relaxed. “After my mum died.”

He turned his head, looking at her from over his shoulder. She couldn’t understand the look on his face. “Why do you care about making sure I’m alright?”

A single shoulder of hers lifted in a shrug. “Why do you make an effort to talk to me? I don’t know.”

A silence passed between them. Harry gazed at the picture a little longer before turning away from it and dragging himself into the bed, his figure melting into his expanse. “I’ll let you know if I die in my sleep.

Rae almost smiled at the comment, walking to the door and flicking off the lights, leaving him in darkness. “If you die in my house, I’m going to kill you.”

Just as she was closing the door, she heard Harry mumble, “It’s a beautiful picture. Like you.”

*

When Rae closed the door, Harry didn’t go to sleep right away. He lay staring at the ceiling, knowing that surrounding him was her amazing, and surprising artwork. He had never taken her as an artist, but then again, he hadn’t taken her for a lot of things.

For example, he had always thought she was a stuck up rich girl, too classy and too high of class to talk to someone like him. Harry knew that he could have run in her crowd easily, what with his money and name. But he liked to get in trouble, and he liked to run with the lawbreakers.

When Rae first offered her hand to help him in the bathroom, he was shocked and even a little amused. Maybe she wasn’t so uptight overall, he had thought to himself. He thought that maybe he could in fact win her into his bed; until she cursed at him and slammed a door in his face, something a women had never done to him.

Even though Harry was drunk, a lot drunker than Rae even realized, he knew that she was the kind of girl that would take a lifetime to understand. She was beautiful, and smart, and artistic and it confused him, how someone could have so many different characteristics all rolled together to make one confusing girl.

Rolling over in bed, he imagined what it would be like, to lay at her side, to feel her small warmth next to him. All his life, the girls that had slept at his side felt cold, always lying there after having sex. He never wanted to sleep next to a girl… at least not in the way he pictured laying next to Rae.

He felt a chuckle shake through his chest, feeling ridiculous. “She’ll ruin you, Styles,” he mumbled to himself, running a hand through his hair. “She’ll try and change who you are, and shine you up. She’ll ruin you.”

*

When the front door opened and closed late that night, Rae shot up from her bed, knowing that Trystan was finally home. She had been eager for her friend to return all night, just watching the clock go by and anxiously glancing at her door, as if Harry would appear in the doorway.

Rae had to admit, she was worried about having him in her house. He could potentially steal something, raid the alcohol cabinet, or simply set her house on fire. She also wondered if he would stroll back into her room because he felt lonely; she got the feeling he felt lonely a lot, and she could relate.

Trystan was setting her keys on the hanger when Rae came down the stairs, her eyes holding slightly alarm and excitement. Trystan turned and saw her, slowing her motions as she removed her jacket. “Everything alright?”

Rae nodded quickly, the movement slight and quick, sort of like a humming bird. “It’s been a very strange night, to say the least.”

Sitting in the living room and talking in hushed tones, Rae relayed everything that had happened so far that evening the Trystan, who listened extremely intently and seemed surprised. Trystan was a great listener when she wanted to be, and Rae was thankful that she waited until the end to as a few questions here and there to clarify.

After the retelling of her events, ending in leaving the boy along in the guest room, Rae leaning back, puffing out air to blow a loose strand of hair from her face. Trystan leaned back, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “That’s god to be one of the maddest stories I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” Rae admitted, looking at her hands. She didn’t know what else to say really. “It’s very strange. I just…. Something tells me that there is more to him than what meets the eye, but I don’t think I want to know.”

“It is a bit alarming,” Trystan admitted. “Louis had told me that their friendship had become quite distant for a while, because Harry had gone off the deep end. Even he says there is something dark and broken about the boy. I don’t think it’s your job to find out… but I feel like something is meant to happen.”

“I don’t want to fix him,” Rae said quickly, as if offended by the idea.

“Well someone needs to.”

“Well who’s to say he needs fixing?” Rae demanded, surprised by how much it bothered her that someone wanted to fix him. She completely agreed that there were things about Harry that weren’t perfect, and she was pretty sure he was a lunatic, but hearing someone else say it bothered her. “Maybe he’s a little troubled. But maybe he doesn’t need to be fixed- maybe he needs to learn.”

“And learn what, exactly?”

Rae’s head bowed, at a loss. She knew she was talking nonsense now, but all night she had been thinking that maybe the boy upstairs just needed to learn how to feel, maybe he needed to have friends that cared for him. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be that person, but something about him made her so sad. “I don’t know? Learn that… it’s okay to have a shitty life?”

Trystan sighed, placing her hand on Rae’s knee. “I don’t know either, Rae. But I don’t think we’re going to figure it out, so let’s get some sleep. It’s the one thing we can do.”

“Yeah,” the brunette replied softly. What she was thinking, was maybe Harry needed to learn to love himself first.