Method to the Madness

I kept on running down the hall, not really sure where it was I was going with my distorted vision of tears. I didn’t really care how ridiculous it seemed or how much I seemed to be overreacting; no Selva had nearly as close a bond like Elias and I had, but even that had come tumbling down with one cold, blank glance.

I hadn’t even noticed the blonde boy that had been standing in my way, or maybe I would have moved myself out of his way; boy did I have a knack for running into people… It was Oliver whose hard chest I had collided with – and it was with his eyes that the ice that had started to envelope my skin with coldness crackled away. There, swimming in his ocean-blue eyes, was the warm liquid of remembrance. Familiarity. I saw him when looking into his eyes, and he saw me when looking into mine – even my puffy and tear-stained ones.

“Are you okay?” He asked me, his hands never leaving my elbows to help me get up while he studied me. If it would’ve been my Elias, he would’ve literally picked me up and carried me off to my room. Well…maybe – things were different now. “This is about Elias?”

I nodded, showing him a perplexed look of questioning since my voice was failing me.
“Sorry, word travels pretty fast amongst the Guardians here.” He explained. “I can escort you back to your room if you want – I’m not trying to get between you and Elias, I promise. I understand this must be difficult for a Selva.”

I nodded to his offer, my lip quivering too much to reply though the tears had stopped falling. I was suddenly in a numb state, feeling unaware of what was around me. I wondered if this was what it felt like to lose someone – if this was why Elias had chosen to give up his own life for me instead of losing me. It was a question I would never get an answer for now…

We fell into step with each other and walked in an awkward partnership, avoiding making contact except for his frequent glances at my composure. I kept my eyes on the ground, pretending not to notice and staring at the often-trodden floors that had the frequented stains of spells-gone-wrong and other unknown-of mishaps.

“You love him…don’t you?” His melancholy voice questioned as I motioned for him to stay awhile at my room. “I see it now; you do!”

I stopped, resisting the urge to push him back out of my room and rebuke my invitation. I didn’t say anything, slightly upset that I had made it so obvious. A Selva was never meant for anything more than “family love” with a Guardian; I had tiptoed over many boundaries to allow my heart that much.

“That’s perfectly fine – perfectly fine! I’m not going to tell; I’m just wondering about it here, 0074. But… you know, don’t you?! He actually told you! I know he talked about how you two were friends and he gave up his life to protect you, but I never actually thought he’d go that far… Yes, I can see that little spark of humanity still left in your eyes. Getting into dangerous waters with that!” He pieced it together slowly, rambling it all out at once with an unexplained infatuation of the situation.

“What’s it to you?!” I snapped, not knowing of any other way to run away from the situation. There were more questions that seemed more important to me than even that: “How do you know it’s dangerous?” I was hoping that he had been in the position before and could give me some insight on how to step carefully in the minefield.

“It was a stupid thing that they did, putting you and Elias together. They thought they could gain submission from Elias but they’ve failed, and now you know about your human life. Knowing that, they’ll never obtain full control over you!” He explained. “The Selva will stop at nothing for that. You, as a Selva, have an important job, and this can’t be swayed by such things as memories. God, if only I had known that they would allow friends to be a Selva and Guardian together..." He trailed off.

"How do you know so much about all of this?" I asked him. "People are kind of stingy with their information here, so how do you know about all of this?"

"My human life." He replied, sitting on my bed and gesturing for me to sit beside him then. "It's a long story."

"Well, I want to hear it. Did you do something like what Elias did, becoming a Guardian for a friend."

There was a long pause then. "Do you think Elias loves you?"

I wanted to say yes, but he had made it pretty clear that we were nothing more than friends in our past life. I could only shrug and bite hard on my lip.

"I think he does." He answered his own question. "Maybe he doesn't know he does... Maybe he pretends he doesn't... Why else would someone give up their life to be stuck in a crazy institution as Purgatory is and help collect dead souls? Maybe it is just a brotherly love, but no one can be sure can they?"

"What does this have to do with anything?" I asked, slightly annoyed at his beating around the bush.

"Well, that's what I did. I gave up my life for the girl that I loved." He explained. "We were fifteen, and, god was I in love with my best friend. She had these perfect green eyes and dark hair, just a few shades lighter than yours. There was something mischievous about her, and I was always her partner in crime of course. She had me wrapped around her finger too; I think she knew it too.

"Well, there was this one hot August day that I remember walking into her bedroom - we were going to hang out and I always just let myself in the door - and she was there talking to herself; looked like she had been up all night doing so." He paused for a deep breath, and there was a fire in blue eyes.

"Now, my grandmother used to always tell me that she had dealt with the Selva and survived when she was a teenager, only the devil was a female and she spoke of a faraway land that my grandmother could go to and have a great life of dealing with the 'greater good.' She told me she had refused and they had eventually left her alone - completely alone by taking away her best friend Margie. She told me the warning signs: talking to yourself, cold skin, drained of energy... I knew what was happening to my Makayla. So I bargained with the Selvas to take me instead. I knew I would've died if Makayla would've been gone from my life, so I saved her life by sacrificing my own.

"It's been three years since that day, and I haven't forgiven myself since - especially since finding out that I could've just accompanied her instead of leaving her! Makayla's the reason that I don't get along very well with the Selvas, but the head Selvas keep me around because of the bargain that I've made..." He looked at me then. "And I will always keep fighting to find the magic that could bring me back to her."

I was literally in tears, whether for myself or Oliver I wasn't sure. At least Makayla knew that Oliver had loved her; I didn't, and I never would now that he had lost his memory. "So why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think he loves you!" Oliver said. "There is no power in the whole universe that is stronger than that. If this memory loss was caused by magic, there is always a cure to bring him back to you - as I will someday be brought back to my Makayla. It's just a matter of looking hard enough to find it." He stood up then and headed towards the door. "Oh, and 0074, remember, this is a very dangerous game you're playing. Be careful with the people you trust and the cards you draw."

"Call me Alyson!" I called in a voice just above a whisper. He winked at me before he was gone.

The one person who had threatened my Guardian was now my closest companion. There was a newfound hope that I could have my Elias back, and I was going to find out exactly how to do that... even if it killed me.