Sequel: Escape the Madness ›
Status: Completed ^-^
Method to the Madness
Beautiful Blue
When I emerged from 0074’s room, I was confused to say the least, and maybe just a little bit flustered, for lack of a better word. I had gone in there trying to become friends with her again, not to make her cry, for both of us to be uncomfortable, and certainly not for her to get mad at me. ’It’s my fault,’ I think, leaning back against the wall, putting my hands over my eyes. ’I should remember her, how I know her, and what’s made us friends.’
The thing is though, that the harder I try to remember, the further back my memories seem to go, and it feels like I’m groping in the dark. And if I try to relax and see if they’ll come to me, I start to feel restless and before I can even get started, my mind gives up. If I’ve lost all of my memories on my own, it doesn’t make much sense. I can still do fundamental things like speak and walk and fight...sorta, but if it deals with my past, then it just comes up blank. I hate this so much; who would willingly want such a thing though?
Why won’t you just give in? I suddenly jerk up at the all-too familiar voice echoing in my mind. Yes, if you submit- Suddenly it feels as if explosions are going off inside my head, and I gasp in surprise, doubling over with my hands at my head, eyes squeezing tightly shut as I clench my jaw. I can’t imagine a pain any worse.
Then you’ll still be her Guardian. Without even having realized it before, I know I’m screaming, collapsed on the ground, curled into a fetal position with my head pounding out of control. I know I’m not dead, but damn, I wish I was in that moment. And then a blissful thing happened; just when I thought I might explode from the pain pounding in my head, I felt myself falling into a sort of blackness and my body began to relax, the pain subsiding.
~*~
Consciousness comes, though I don’t have a way of knowing how long I’ve been out of commission. The first thing I see is Mouse looking at me with her charcoal eyes, sitting at the edge of the bed and playing with my individual fingers. Groaning, I pull my hand away from her, forcing myself to sit up. My head aches as if someone’s hit the back of it. “You took away my memories,” I accuse. “I…remember your voice.”
“Elias, don’t be ridiculous. I only did what you asked of me,” she answers, pursing her lips as she seems to take me in. “Foolish little boy; you shouldn’t have tried to remember.” She sweeps a hand through my hair, and I practically cringe as she kisses my forehead, which brings a frown to her face. She scoots close to me, practically pressed against my flank.
“You think I would have done something like this forcefully? I don’t know what was going on between you and 0074, but you practically begged me to take your memories away from you. You know…you used to know her, in your past life. Maybe you wanted me to do this because she’s changed; all Selva and Guardians do.” Her voice is so convincing, I don’t know what to think. I try to think back on what that voice had said in my mind earlier, but even that’s faint now, and I just remember it was Mouse. Could she really be telling the truth?
“I couldn’t do something like that to her,” I argue helplessly, closing my eyes for a moment. “You should have seen her earlier today; she was so upset. I made her cry, and I didn’t mean to. I have to be so careful around her or I’ll upset her, and I don’t want to do something like that. And she looked at me like…”I shake my head, trailing off as I open my eyes again. “I need to go find her; she probably heard me screaming in the hallway earlier.”
Without a second thought, I begin to force my body to move out of the bed, pain throbbing in every muscle. “Elias!” Mouse’s sharp voice stops me for a moment, and I feel her pull me back down, probably effortless thanks to how my body feels at the moment. She looks exasperated, though about what I can’t tell. “Look, I’ll go get her if you want, but just don’t move! Geez, you’re worse than you were when you first came here.”
I give her a puzzled glance at those words, and her expression softens the tiniest amounts. “When you and 0074 first came here, you pretty much hated everyone except her. I found you punching a wall one day, and you mangled your hand that way. I had to practically force you to go to the infirmary. Thankfully, you didn’t use the hand for the first three days; now though, you’re actually trying to get out.” Shaking her head, she stands. “Stay here. If you move one inch, you won’t be moving again until I let you.”
With that threat properly in place, she whisks herself from the room, closing the door behind her and I’m left alone. I close my eyes, trying not to think while I wait. I’m not quite sure how long exactly that I wait either, but I feel someone sit down beside me. Still I don’t open my eyes- I don’t know if I can look at 0074, not after earlier. I had just wanted her to not worry. “Elias.”
Her soft voice makes me open my eyes, and I see her worried face lingering over my own. I smile softly at her. “Hi, I’m sorry I couldn’t go, myself. Mouse wouldn’t let me.” For a moment, her eyes look hurt as I mentioned Mouse’s name, and I curse myself for upsetting her again. “No, look, I’m so sor-”
She cuts me off, putting a hand to my lips and shaking her head. When I press my mouth closed, she pulls her hand away. “I’m just glad your okay. I’m not sure what I would do if I lost you again.”
I watch her, silent for a long moment at a lack of what to say. This girl…she intrigues and confuses me so much all at the same time. I can’t fathom why I would ever want to lose any memories of her. “Your eyes are so different from the others, so pretty,” I say on a whim. “They’re the most beautiful blue…”
The thing is though, that the harder I try to remember, the further back my memories seem to go, and it feels like I’m groping in the dark. And if I try to relax and see if they’ll come to me, I start to feel restless and before I can even get started, my mind gives up. If I’ve lost all of my memories on my own, it doesn’t make much sense. I can still do fundamental things like speak and walk and fight...sorta, but if it deals with my past, then it just comes up blank. I hate this so much; who would willingly want such a thing though?
Why won’t you just give in? I suddenly jerk up at the all-too familiar voice echoing in my mind. Yes, if you submit- Suddenly it feels as if explosions are going off inside my head, and I gasp in surprise, doubling over with my hands at my head, eyes squeezing tightly shut as I clench my jaw. I can’t imagine a pain any worse.
Then you’ll still be her Guardian. Without even having realized it before, I know I’m screaming, collapsed on the ground, curled into a fetal position with my head pounding out of control. I know I’m not dead, but damn, I wish I was in that moment. And then a blissful thing happened; just when I thought I might explode from the pain pounding in my head, I felt myself falling into a sort of blackness and my body began to relax, the pain subsiding.
~*~
Consciousness comes, though I don’t have a way of knowing how long I’ve been out of commission. The first thing I see is Mouse looking at me with her charcoal eyes, sitting at the edge of the bed and playing with my individual fingers. Groaning, I pull my hand away from her, forcing myself to sit up. My head aches as if someone’s hit the back of it. “You took away my memories,” I accuse. “I…remember your voice.”
“Elias, don’t be ridiculous. I only did what you asked of me,” she answers, pursing her lips as she seems to take me in. “Foolish little boy; you shouldn’t have tried to remember.” She sweeps a hand through my hair, and I practically cringe as she kisses my forehead, which brings a frown to her face. She scoots close to me, practically pressed against my flank.
“You think I would have done something like this forcefully? I don’t know what was going on between you and 0074, but you practically begged me to take your memories away from you. You know…you used to know her, in your past life. Maybe you wanted me to do this because she’s changed; all Selva and Guardians do.” Her voice is so convincing, I don’t know what to think. I try to think back on what that voice had said in my mind earlier, but even that’s faint now, and I just remember it was Mouse. Could she really be telling the truth?
“I couldn’t do something like that to her,” I argue helplessly, closing my eyes for a moment. “You should have seen her earlier today; she was so upset. I made her cry, and I didn’t mean to. I have to be so careful around her or I’ll upset her, and I don’t want to do something like that. And she looked at me like…”I shake my head, trailing off as I open my eyes again. “I need to go find her; she probably heard me screaming in the hallway earlier.”
Without a second thought, I begin to force my body to move out of the bed, pain throbbing in every muscle. “Elias!” Mouse’s sharp voice stops me for a moment, and I feel her pull me back down, probably effortless thanks to how my body feels at the moment. She looks exasperated, though about what I can’t tell. “Look, I’ll go get her if you want, but just don’t move! Geez, you’re worse than you were when you first came here.”
I give her a puzzled glance at those words, and her expression softens the tiniest amounts. “When you and 0074 first came here, you pretty much hated everyone except her. I found you punching a wall one day, and you mangled your hand that way. I had to practically force you to go to the infirmary. Thankfully, you didn’t use the hand for the first three days; now though, you’re actually trying to get out.” Shaking her head, she stands. “Stay here. If you move one inch, you won’t be moving again until I let you.”
With that threat properly in place, she whisks herself from the room, closing the door behind her and I’m left alone. I close my eyes, trying not to think while I wait. I’m not quite sure how long exactly that I wait either, but I feel someone sit down beside me. Still I don’t open my eyes- I don’t know if I can look at 0074, not after earlier. I had just wanted her to not worry. “Elias.”
Her soft voice makes me open my eyes, and I see her worried face lingering over my own. I smile softly at her. “Hi, I’m sorry I couldn’t go, myself. Mouse wouldn’t let me.” For a moment, her eyes look hurt as I mentioned Mouse’s name, and I curse myself for upsetting her again. “No, look, I’m so sor-”
She cuts me off, putting a hand to my lips and shaking her head. When I press my mouth closed, she pulls her hand away. “I’m just glad your okay. I’m not sure what I would do if I lost you again.”
I watch her, silent for a long moment at a lack of what to say. This girl…she intrigues and confuses me so much all at the same time. I can’t fathom why I would ever want to lose any memories of her. “Your eyes are so different from the others, so pretty,” I say on a whim. “They’re the most beautiful blue…”