Method to the Madness

“Your eyes are so different from the others, so pretty,” Elias said in a tone of wonder and amazement. “They’re the most beautiful blue…” I couldn’t help but smile slightly at this – whether it was just his way of stopping me from crying or if he sincerely meant it. I swallowed my tears and moved to grab his hand, stopping myself from doing it for fear that he would pull away from me. He sounded so much like his old self that I wanted to lay down beside him and feel safe in his embrace once again.

His words reminded me of the time I had asked him about my eyes.

”What color are my eyes?” I asked.

“Well, they’re blue. They’re the most beautiful blue – like the ocean!” He had responded.

Gosh, that had seemed so long ago. That was before; when I was still questioning who he was to me. Now, we were in the opposite situation with me pining over Elias and he didn’t know me – though I was sure that, in his case, he had never ‘pined’ for me. Maybe we were condemned to never truly know each other – we were supposed to be partners in crime but complete strangers.

It didn’t help that Mouse had somehow obtained the duty of his caretaker. He was my Guardian, he was mine – but she was somehow winning if we were measuring how much trust Elias had in us. I couldn’t help but feel the slightest of bitterness when it was she who came to fetch me for Elias. Oliver? Cat? Hell – even Crimson would be better for my anger than that little pipsqueak. I had now turned from insecure about my feelings to completely mad with jealously for my unreturned feelings for my best friend. And that kiss that Elias and Mouse shared? The one that he no longer remembered? That still lingered in the back of my mind as an unanswered question – and a threat. What were they up to now that she was his “caretaker”? Part of me didn’t want to know…

“You told me that once before,” I finally stated after a long pause of deep thinking. He looked at me with a perplexed look, as if he had forgotten what he had said with that pause. “That my eyes were the most beautiful blue – you told me that my eyes were the most beautiful blue once before.”

“I did?” He asked, scrunching his eyebrows together with what seemed to be a determination to remember.

“Don’t hurt yourself!” I teased, crawling up to the top of his pillow and sitting beside him. “I can just tell you about it, you know?”

He looked slightly hurt by it. “I know you can!” He exclaimed. “But I don’t want you too! I know I’ve hurt you bad enough by not remembering you! I don’t want to do that to you anymore! I want to remember you!”

“Why did Mouse call me here?” I asked as my heart beat raced at his words.

“What?”

“Why did she bring me here? You wanted me here, right?” He nodded and I could tell that my cheeks were flushed with excitement, though dread set in as I thought about my next words. “I – you have no idea how much I wish I could have you back like before, but neither of us can keep worrying about it! As long as you still want me – as long as you still insist on putting up with my good, bad, and ugly – that’s all that matters! I – I just need my best friend back!”

“But I’m not –“

“Even if that means accepting that I may not ever get you back the way I lo – the way things were!” And of course, my great conversational skills almost caught me up in a sticky situation. It was a good thing that Elias was oblivious to this; my old Elias would have smirked at me and asked me what I was going to say – luckily for me, when I had made these slip-ups before, they had never been about loving him.

“Why? I can’t do anything good for you now! I can’t even be a good Guardian since I got my ass handed to me by Oliver to talk to you. Why waste your time putting up with me? I’ll just end up disappointing you.”

I shook my head to the point where it felt as if my brain were rattling. “No! You’re more to me than just a Guardian. You’re my best friend and you’ve always been there for me, and I’m not giving up on you either! – Wait! What’s this about Oliver?”

A smirk showed up on his face. “Nothing!”

“No!” I argued, smacking him playfully on the arm and sliding closer to his contagious warmth. “Even though you don’t remember me, I know you – and right now I know you’re lying! So cute, little Oliver beat you up?!”

The strangest of looks streaked through his eyes. “He is not cute, he is vicious!” I couldn’t help but let out a laugh and he grabbed my wrists to pull me down beside him. “No, no! You’re laughing at me! That dude is evil!”

“No, he’s a good guy. I think you two would make good friends – maybe he could help you not get your ass kicked?” I spoke, but my words didn’t sound coherent to me; my thoughts were too blurred by the way his hands were still wrapped around my wrists and his breath cooled my cheeks as we lay face to face.

“Su –“

“0074, Crimson says that you should leave Elias alone for a little. He needs his rest.” Mouse came in to warn me, but Elias’s eyes never left mine. “Two minutes to say goodbye.”

As soon as she had left, I got up from lying beside him. “Yeah, you should rest.”

“Wait, 0074!” He called as I made my way to the door. “Do you think it’s possible for me to regain my memory? Why do you care so much about me?”

I walked closer to him and sat back down beside him, not getting too comfortable for knowing that I didn’t have much time. “Because you’re my best friend,” I whispered, “you have been for far long before you became my Guardian. I was in your position once, like this, and you never gave up on me; I’m not giving up on you either! Especially if this is magic’s doing, there has to be a way to break this, we just have to figure out how!” I gave his hand a tight squeeze and walked out on him, ignoring the way that my heart was beating out of my chest.

Mouse intercepted me as I walked out, walking in. I fell to my knees just outside of the room in angst, love, and pain.

Elias! My heart called out. I will bring you back to me…