Method to the Madness

’She can do it,’ I tell myself, resisting the urge to pace as I sit, impatiently waiting for 0074 to come out of the room. It’s been over an hour since she went to take her tests, and despite myself, dangerous thoughts keep coming to the forefront of my mind. ’You believe in her. She won’t-no, she can’t- fail. You helped all you could, and Cat did as well. She’s going to be out of there in no time.’

Nearby a clock ticks away the seconds and then chimes, signaling the arrival of noon. “Ah, fuck it.” In an instant, I’m up on my feet, unable to be still any longer as I begin to pace outside of the doorway, absorbed in my thoughts. It actually ends up being so bad that I don’t notice as she appears there, just in front of me.

“Elias.” The voice jerks me back into reality, and I turn to look at her. She looks physically drained by the tests, but it isn’t so much that that I notice. It’s the crestfallen looks that haunts at her face and pulls at her voice.

“0074, look, it’s-“ I start, going towards her, but almost as soon as I decide to actually go over there, a smile starts tugging at her features that stops me in my tracks. It grows and widens, and for a moment I wonder what’s wrong with her before a small smirk finds its way to my own lips and I cross my arms, raising an eyebrow at her. “So, how did you do, exactly?” I implore.

“Oh, you know…” she trails off with a mischievous glint in her eyes as she shifts her weight to the balls of her feet momentarily. I can tell she’s trying really hard to suppress the grin that’s threatening to surface in her expression, but she’s failing miserably. I laugh and tell her so.

At that, she pulls an indignant look at me for a moment, before just full out grinning. “I passed, Elias!” she practically screamed, her enthusiasm was so palpable. “I’m going to get my name tomorrow and then we’ll be assigned a mission!” She looks like she wants to rush over to me, hug me, and run off and hug everyone else, she seems so happy, and I can’t help but grin along idiotically with her.

So, without even considering my actions, I cross the space between us in a stride and scoop her up in my arms, wrapping her in a large hug. “See, I told you that you could do it!” I exclaim, careful not to be too loud though because of how close we are. After a moment, I feel her hugging me back, and though it may just be my imagination, I could swear I feel her shoulders relaxing as well as we stand like that for a few long moments, until finally I pull away, still smiling. “So,” I venture, “how do you want to celebrate?”

Her expression is curious as she tips her head to the side, hair curtaining in her face so that I have to hold back a chuckle, unable to hold back the smile though, and I can’t help but think it’s actually kind of cute. . . Now wait a minute! Where did that come from?! Shaking the thought out of my head with some effort, I lean back against the doorway as I wait for her answer. “Well?” I press gently.

For the moment, her face is still screwed up in a confused expression, and then it begins to turn a mild shade of red that I notice, but she averts my gaze, and I wonder what she had been thinking just then, as the color fades. Obviously, it’ll be up to me to come up with something…Thinking for a moment, I purse my lips as I try to come up with something. “How about we go get Binx and go have a picnic out of this stupid building? I’m sure you haven’t been out yet, and I haven’t either that I remember. We could go explore the Nexus,” I offer up.

I wasn’t sure whether she would like the idea or not, but her face brightens up again at the mention of it, and I’m glad she doesn’t question me on whether we’re actually allowed outside this building or not. I’m pretty certain the answer is no, but hey…whoever said everyone always followed the rules, and most certainly the two of us? “That sounds like a great idea,” she agrees, but then stops, her face becoming perplexed. “I don’t think Binx should go with us though- you found him out there somewhere before you lost your memory. He might try to run away if we take him…”

As she trails off, I frown, knowing I’ve accidentally hit a sensitive spot once more. I hesitate a moment and then tentively reach for her hand, taking with mine and squeezing it gently. “Hey, it’ll be okay. I promise,” I say. I feel like I barely know her, but I know her too well at the same time, and it honestly scares me sometimes. It just feels so natural with her now that I’ve stopped making her burst into tears with just my presence, but I wonder if maybe I’m starting to get a little too comfortable…

I start to pull my hand away, reflexively really because I don’t really want to, but even as I do this, I feel her hold tightening, not wanting to release my hand. I glance at her, oddly for a moment, and then my expression softens as I cease pulling away, and instead return my hand fully to hers, squeezing it gently once more as I look down at her small, petite figure.

For a moment, it’s as if I’m frozen there, unable to move except for our entwined hands, and our gazes lock. I can only imagine the intensity of my own eyes as I meet her gaze, suddenly seeming to see where the pain she has been feeling around me is sprouting from. At the same time, it’s almost as if a light bulb has gone off in my head, and in my body too apparently because even without my consent it has started moving closer to her, inching slowly there while she seems to the same.

And before I know it, we’re so close that I can feel her breath, feel some undercurrent of something that passes between us, and before either of us seem to realize what we’re doing, our lips have pressed against each other.